well, From my tears to Gods ears.

After my Son was fed and I took care of task I face each morning. I showered. Boy did I shower, it rained so hard in that stall that the walls would hear my belly pull up and pour our a canal of depth it could rival the Panama. I just really let it pour bucket with the gale force of so many stresses blowing through and out of me.

I knew I had to go to the mountains. I knew that what ever the cost I must refresh my soul. I needed to get to feel pleasure, joy and just get to de-stress. I determined to offer beloved the day alone he might just benefit from. However it was his heart to join us. We drove to Prescott in the mountains right away; taking crackers and meat, peanut butter I fed us on the road. I saw myself during the wail at the town square and had untented to follow and walk in the place I was to go. We did so.

When we arrived in Prescott, I walked up to a group of beautiful women (my age) who had driven up from a town called Wickenburg. They were playing drums and percussion instruments. My intent to show my kids the wonder and music. I was invited into the circle, into the community of women to drum with them. My husbands face shown with gratitude and respect for the gift I was being offered and said go. I joined and I found in the beat the rhythm that removed me from all the many things that grab my focus. Hubby said that it was an hour that we played together. I was asked if I were a drummer I said no. During our time I remembered my Taos drum, the one covered with dust, hidden from the children so That it would not be destroyed at their hand. I showed Dove to catch the beat find her rhythm, then being hearing impaired I could not hear the depth of center I asked the woman beside me if it made sound when I hit it she said it did. I could only hear the outer rim of my drum, not the center...
this was my lesson; Another woman showed me that if I placed my hand in the center of my drum lightly I could hear the other drums speaking to my drum through the vibration. I caught the beat and found rhythm. They kept bass while I played the song. I found center . When My eyes were closed to my kids trusting Daddy man to tend them I was there. Free from focus. At rest. As soon as I opened my eyes it was gone. I stilled myself. A woman said " You will find it"
I rested in the beat of that sweet community of women. It was holy.
My children played in the square and found joy there and my Beloved saw me right where I belonged and it was the best part of his whole day to see me in my element being REAL. Centered
Everything that has been fighting for my gaze, robbing me from my center, was laid down for an hour and a half today. Long enough to get a real taste of the difference..
The things we focus on grow bigger.
It was the vast calm of the beat and the removal of all distractions that afforded me a rest.
I had almost forgotten this place.
We took the children to a creek to wade to the knee and see a dragonfly mating dance with beautiful rust and vibrant orange. We went to an IHOP with smiles adorning the children's faces we splurged a meal wonderfully served by a "cute" (DOVE SAID SO) waiter. He was great! Very well mannered!
We drove home with a Rainbow... Rain...a stresser that was big. Dash decided to use the center fold down arm cup holder as a lake for his water! Once managed sopped up, and amended for, we regrouped. They are in bed now. Beloved liked his day and is refreshed too.
Sorry so ugly in the realness in last post,
but beauty can be found under the most ugly crust. :)