Dove had a wonderful performance of Annie Oakley it went well.  

I made her some metals for her costume

We are all a little sick however a sinus thing. Not to pretty good to need to attend that two days before infusion. I was sick by morning with a stuffy head. I am so glad I went though. I would never want to miss a single event.
I had the pharmacy send some masks for the future if I need then around Christmas.
I had my 6th infusion today. It went well except for the 5 sticks for the veins kept collapsing from the PTSD body response. Not a mental or emotional thing, my body just wanted no part of being stuck. She would get the needle into vein and then it would just co-laps in rejection of it. Lot of pain in that. It was so disappointing. That one bad experience with that other nurse just tuned my body into being hyper sensitive to it. It was a physical defense.
We used music and a sedative then the stick in back of hand was done her and Steve kept it from me a few minutes until my heart rate and breathing mellowed. It stayed in after that. We were able to do a 5 hour 30 minute infusion. I slept off the stress then was fine. only 1/4 dose of anti nausea meds.

I better go try to get some sleep. After sleeping so much today it is not too attractive to sleep.

Is your life how you wished it would be?

gorilla on back

stiffened into still

gasping living life

wills mixed venue new

 reality removes dream

world kills purity

gentle heart lost time

entertainment violent

pleasure lives alone

where is life's beauty

look see soil growing green

 witnessed my dream

tender child pure heart

touch it living round us now

before you are gone

come back to me please

when soil steps in beating heart

those dreams of mine told

cant hear all is dull

flashing screen the living thing

plundered through eye

cry she please look see

life it passes by blind eye

only just a game?

bird sky river high

sit beside a laughing stream

dancing wild flowers

walk with me a while 

i need to live eyes face smile

just to walk a mile

a  child's face to mine

dreamed to groom their sweet mind

teach of tender things

still wonder wisdom

quiet exaltation way

yet this day I pray

Amazing! Financial Goals can be accomplished

With hanging out laundry your electric balanced monthly can come down several dollars a month. Well multiply that by 12. It adds up every little thing adds up. There are so many little ways that can make big changes. Sweater not thermostat. This alone has reduced our balance monthly plan by $5 a month so far. They reevaluate it through out the year so don't give up if it did not show the goal as well as desired.

Rhonda over at down to earth blessed me with the skill of homemade laundry soap. In turn how fun it is to help support others as well. We all have ideas of living more wisely. Whether to be 'green' or simply economical. Funny thing is no matter the goal reducing waste is the product! It is just good sense and always has been to respect what you have. Golly we all work so hard for it.


Savings Accounts do not have to be hit throughout the year. Nor do we have to find ourselves using our tax returns and overtime to cover budget overages. Although savings may be minimal it can be accomplished! If it is in budget before any expenses are even listed. Some day if partial retirement  comes it will really be a boon. Having no credit cards to depend on is a calculated risk. One that is a motivator and self discipline. It pays off in so many many ways. Debt free is a real marriage pleaser.

So the savings goal is a part of the long term safety net. Some day we hope to have a three months worth of no touch net. If  God forbid we would ever be laid off panic would have a bit of ease. This will be hard work. Every family is struggling hard. Helping our families to be focused through the struggle is vital. It is far too easy for some to just throw in the towel and pull out the credit card. Resist it with all your worth. Instead pull out some imaginative resistance and creative budget cuts.
With persistence your grocery can be all homemade. The savings alone will blow your mind and build your budget.

Resisting the temptations of criticism is another hard issue. Those woe is me lies that hit when others come up with cash out of thin air to get things that we chose not to afford. Those are the hard times when focus is the goal. Freedom from the money stress the reward. Sits much better than that pretty new sofa over at the friends house. Good lessons in envy removal. Facing envy really makes the character overcome it by choice. If no one ever had more than we would not want much more than we have for the most part.

No malls, catalogs, fliers or commercials. Guard your eyes and do not touch that is the one thing that causes us to purchase more than anything. Merchants know once in the hand a buyer is 90+% more likely to buy. Learn their tricks this holiday season. So that you can be Merry not caught up in that horrid buyers remorse. Enjoy the shopping with intention and watch out for the snakes in the grass. The pocket it the place they most like to bite ya this time of year.

Christmas can be done on a budget, projected out and set aside. It is a real peace maker. Speaking of making...start up those crafting skills. Come visit me over at A Place to Create. My machines and needles will begin a spinning.

Gotta fly the kids want to play tickle bug on the big bed.......enjoy your night

Christmas shopped within the budget

Morning greeted me early today. So nice to be rested at 5 a.m. What a wonderful way to start after a good sleep. That sleep greeted me in the face when I walked into the door. Mom was TIRED! I walked right into the bedroom laid on the bed clothing on and everything. Even before the kids were put to bed!
We had gone over the the far west valley for an early thanksgiving at the home of a niece and the great nieces and nephews. The husbands nephews by marriage. 

Myself, My Sister and my SILove formerly my brothers wife. It was her and her kids that hosted us

We had a mall trip with three kids,  on Saturday and the same thing be the end of that day too. Felt so good to get some sleep. Funny how sweet it is waking when you don't HAVE too but your ready to. Refreshed.

This morning it was sweet to greet the kids and the tasks and my gentle husband

We have been saving long and hard and carefully assigned a budget and then split it for the kids. Today I was able to tend to much of it and am all but done. It will be a thankful year of few boxes but great wishes.
It is so nice to have a year of humility. It brings some balance to the hearts that wish to give everything and the moon. Alas, we have everything we need. We have so many things we want. So few to count when hearts of contentment measure higher in the cup. Measuring up to recipe that will empower us to overcome the 'i wants' of old. The old being "Sorry for me" by measuring you sorta thing.

Going to the mall Saturday spending only $1 on some mints WITH THREE KIDS and no wining was terrific! it left lingering wants and if's only. I found the coolest Bohemian store and just loved the look so use what I had to try to copy it. DO NOT GO TO MALL :)  So I came home and played with what I had and became satisfied without sway until I thought of how others might perceive me. The great slip up set out by envy and low self confidence. However I felt glorious when I threw out those "they might thinks...'

So this day met the list within the limits! Keep track of all the 'if only' that might reach into pocket and make a big old pie of buyers remorse.

It really feels happy inside me to have no dread or fear. We worked hard to save noted every dollar and it really paid off. NO DEBT!
Sewing ahead, beading too. But no malls no stores not a moment of stress or feeling like a cheep, "bad mom" for not pouring out. They know our true love by the example they get not by the stuff. Stuff out of a guilt offering just offers up well....guilt
That is a gift that is given without freedom to the giver or the recipient.

Do I pine? 

yep a little bit, but I'll get over it.

They are not hurting a bit!

Their hearts desires met.