We just finished. We did not use the benadryl and only 1/4 of the nausea medication at the beginning. I slept a while but non of the bad side effects. The easiest one yet! This was my fifth one. We had a three stick but all went well in the end. She is going to have a check done on my are from the third infusion a piece of a catheter might have been left in a vein, that or the vain is shot from a life time of use. It feels like a rope under skin. The cold effected the sticks for when the temperatures drop the veins are not as to the surface. Next time I ware a sweeter before she gets here so my arms are warmer.
I hope every one is having a great day.
Thank you dear friends for your prayers.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Hard to keep count on how many now but it has changed my life.
It is a good gift of life. I am so grateful for the gift of life given by doaners.
With this gratitude comes a multiple bag of emote.
Sometimes I feel sad that this is the way of my future, but I have a future. A hope and a promise.
It is getting easier. Now it has been said to me in a comment that I have made too big a deal of this experience. It has gotten so much easier every infusion.
It is becoming less of 'a big deal', but it is still a process that is healing with mixed emote.
Gratitude is foremost, honestly I am also sad.
The reports came back on my sister. She does not have it. Bless God! He has blessed her.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
All of the sudden she blurts out (loudly)
"Oh I get it her father must be blond!"
to that I replied "I really don't know"
August she was red in the face and uppity judgmental.
To that I replied "she is adopted."
That time forward I worked my way up to a lighter and lighter blond/brown hair color. At 36 my hair had never been colored. Always being a natural sort of woman it was unthinkable. As the years have passed by the lightening just became a thoughtless thing. Well perhaps not so thoughtless. It was so important to me that the kids always felt a part of, or a sense of belonging to us.
Recently at a mom/daughter time Dove noticed that the top of my head was very dark and the ends almost blond. She was stunned! Now with 50 only a few months off the dark had the sweet tell tell signs of the years hard efforts, my first graying hairs. Dove was told the thing was that I thought I just looked prettier with light hair.
In actuality it was light so long that I never really gave it much thought. For my early ears it was full of sum kissed highlights. Lemon juice on tips of fingers would be rubbed into my hair. It was very light by end of the summers.
Recently it occurred to me why. Why had my true image been lost into the mom bear watching over the cubs. Now they are able to well watch over their own self in this. For we all belong so tightly together. In the early years so much energy was placed on the attachment disorders/issues that it mattered most that they not experience any other ignorant thoughtless questions of 'how 'we belong together.
The day before yesterday I came home to my true color.
Now the kids want dark 'high lights'. It was explained that that would not be a lightening but a darkening. So in the summer they might for fun get to have a darker wash out color. Not allowed during the school year for it would be disrespectful and distraction in class. Funny it just occurred to me. For years I changed to be like them...now they want to change to look like me.
When I was in my early thirties I came to know that I am not as my sister of the same dad. My dad was a boarder in the boarding house. An Inuit Native American man. When I learned that I was so Native American life changed. I kid you not. I was treated much differently when I identified as Caucasian. As I identified as NA there were less chins held high when spoken to. The racial issues in this country are so sad. All over the world for that matter. As part Cherokee/dutch and Inuit tanning stopped. So funny when I was a white chick with an awesome tan it was cool. Oh yes when I tan it is so pretty. I stopped tanning during those years. I always said it was to protect my skin. Cool to step back and look at all the fall out. I love my skin. I really love having my hair color back.
Oh I have had such bad manners here folks. So sorry that I'm neglecting response to your wonderful comments . No excuse just poor manners. Please forgive me.
You matter, each and everyone of you. Your hearts are dear, your minds full of great ideas, beautiful articulate ideas.
The spirit within you that, who you really are part, your precious.
I have been so silent so often and unresponsive, yes there are many reasons, tasks and time for others here that pull at me. You do matter.
All the kindness you afford me really does make a difference in my life. I hope that our corner of the world blesses you.
Dash does not like his image on post here. So I am respecting that. Such a great kid. Dove is growing up lightning fast. She will be an amazing woman I am sure.
My mind is tired and thoughts become lazy by the end of the day.
I am sorry my laziness neglects the acknowledgment of how dear you all are to me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I, in turn, will pick 7 bloggers to answer 7 new questions. Here are the 7 questions she asked me:
1. Not counting attending church, what is your favorite activity that you consistently do on Sundays?
We visit the Grandparents , Steve's parents.
2. At what age, or season in your life, do you feel you looked your best? Today, My face has peace. I look my best not stressed. At any age. It is a matter of my heart. Sure my chin is doubled, my weight is above what it could be. My heart is happy, that is when I look my best.
3. Would you rather win a personal makeover/shopping spree with an image consultant, a one room makeover/shopping spree with an interior designer, or a personal chef who would cater a fabulous meal for a party at your home?
The room make over, we could use a new sofa. I would love a little water feature too. A flat tv would take up less room. Gratitude for what we have makes it not something I pine however.
4. If a movie were made of your life, which actors would portray you, and your husband?
Jessica Tandy , Me. I think of a movie called Fried Green Tomatoes. She was so beautiful, dignified. When I am old I want to have lived a life where my heart did not get hard. Where growing old would be beautiful. Where my children are not embarrassed or ashamed of me. I want to be and example of courage/ Ever a friend of God not a religious pious old woman.
Mathew Roderick Would have to be my choice for Steve. In the movie Glory his heart toward those he lead was one that earned the respect and conviction of those he lead.
"were all dirty in it, aint one of us clean" said his replacement for the flag bearer.
A flag bearer is the one who holds up the standard it the other fell. It was the extreme act of sacrifice. With hands full there would not be a weapon for self defense.
"I don't know that I be wanted this sir" was his reply
"I know what you mean" said Roderick's character
5. If you had the power to choose one of these, which would it be?
I would be taller.
I would never go gray.
I would always look younger than my age.
Younger than my age. This is a gift I live with. It helps my children not to have a mom who looks like their grandma.
6. Which of these positive first impressions would you prefer to make?
7. Pie or Cake?
Pie, pecan or a berry. Rhubarb is good too.
Now, I pick these 7 bloggers to answer 7 questions: Opps Shorty I answered the first 7 that were for you.
Here are the 7 questions:
1) What is your favorite book of the Bible?
2) Ice cream, or cookies?
Cookies, snicker doodles
3) Cup half full, or half empty?
Oh I am a woman cup over flowing.
That I would fail at raising the children through, dependence to independence and onto interdependence. If I were to fail at raising them with the ability to make wise choices. My desire is that they are empowered to STAND confident in who they have been created to be.
5) Favorite day of the week?
Friday. The family all comes home. Children are relaxed and the shoulders come down. Family movie night and the joy of no school or lunches to awaken to.
6) Favorite Holiday?
Easter is my very favorite. I saw a vision 32 years ago of a White light through a tunnel opening, hands reaching out to me. It was the day that I rose out of the darkness that was my life and began the journey that freed me some three years later.
At Easter that day comes alive as did HE
7) Ever been out of the country?
Yes to Russia twice to bring home the children. Once in 1998 to get Dove, and then to get Dash in 2001. Trust me when I say
"we live in the best country on earth.
Goodness I have to go to bed. I'll choose tomorrow. I don't have time to tonight sorry.
Thank you Denise for pulling the writer out of me tonight. Felt real good.
We gave her choice over it and today was the day after all these years.
Older women likewise teach the younger women...
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)
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By Maya Angelou
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'
When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'
When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!
Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.
- A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
- The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
- Return with Honor
- The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
- "HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
- “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
- "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
- "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"
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This was given to me for the third time in just a few weeks.
"For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."