One giant step toward independence

This morning the children asked to make one giant step toward independence.
This being the third day of desire , but failed follow through I again told them ...
" when they are ready"...
They felt safe.
For those of you who know attachment disorders you will understand this
HUGE milestone.
I went in the house rejoicing and praising God for the healing in my children!
This morning they were ready and boarded the bus for the first time!
I went to the school after school to make sure they were able to get on the right bus.
Then I hurried home and got the camera.
Here is the bus coming around the corner.

This was such a big step for such a small pair of legs:)
Yesterday we followed the bus to the school but today...they got on right out in the driveway!
The way home was a new adventure.

The doors opened and two very self confident, happy children who gained two inches of self esteem climbed down those big steps.
Asking if Monday they can walk home alone. Sure I told them I said go ahead now and walk home I'll meet you there.

Oh the self satisfaction courage won and a good experience mastered!
Miss Paula (the driver) asked them if they liked their bus ride and they both said "yes we did" Miss Paula asked my name and gave me guidance.
The kids need to walk a 1/4 block to the corner on Monday Morning.

I lagged back and let them go to the house on their own.
How sweet!
Parenting success is...
when we see them gain that ability to be independent with confidence.

Good Morning!
In Arizona the time of use is changed today for your electric.

14 more days of school!
My children will soon be home with me again. I look so forward to having them home. With the implant surgery scheduled 2 days before school ends I am seriously considering rescheduling until august of this year after the summer is over. With the children home, summer fun for the family and the healing process I do not want to ruin the summer. I am going to wait until school resumes.
By then perhaps we might be moved into our next home.
Thoughts out loud:)
We took the kids to the local High School last night and pitched a few base balls (soft foam ones). I really had a lot of fun watching the silliness and being a part of it. We all had a really good time. Little Dove had some breathing problems, perhaps due to the wind. It was cool and just lovely.
Our showing of 5:30, the one I worked all yesterday for...Well He rescheduled for Saturday at 12:15. So the house is clean...That was nice to wake up to. :)
I need to walk today. Get out and move my body and give it some love.
The children are playing outside this morning in the cool of the day. Just outside my window. They are developing some sibling skills. I read about setting the stage to allow them to resolve their own conflicts. No name calling..No violence.. and just let them work it out. I'll give them cues if they need but I am going to step back from the side taking and solving of deli mas they need to develop those skills. So far much better:) I just have to develop the skill :)

Thankful Thursday

How much unmerited favor is upon me
The gentleness of my Loving Father My Maker and the keeper of my soul abides with me.
Tenderness and kindness is afforded me.
Never am I left alone for his presence is with me surrounding me.
Every need met and provision supplied.
I spoke with the oral surgeon yesterday and when all is done it will be half of what we were led to believe for Insurance will cover 50% of the surgery for the implant, and then next year %60 of the build up and tooth. He calms my fears. The surgery is scheduled for May 20th.
How privileged I am to get to have an implant and a new tooth. Now my cheek can heal from me biting it all the time:)
I am falling on my face within His presence and mercy toward me. I can speak to Him and he hears me. I hear His voice I am so honored to Hear him.
He has assured me that the house has ultimately sold. I have to hold my eyes on that.
Grieving the efforts ahead I am comforted and am taking courage. Trusting that it will all unfold as a rose. It was my style to force the bud to open I will await the unfolding with patience and anticipation. Expecting the glory of the the full beauty as "the Rose" unfolds.
I am hindered with my health due to the medications getting regulated. I took it at bed time last night and see improvement today although I was still struggling with sleepiness.
I miss my stuff, but am finding my identity in this that it is not in my stuff. As an onion is peeled away so am I. Tenderly mercifully peeled away.

Giant Otter Child of the Sea

With kelp for your bed
You rest your head
As waves roll all around you

On your back you float
Like a furry boat
Blue sky shines bright above you.

Giant Otter , child of the sea
You bring such great joy to me
Oh Giant otter stay wild and free

by Donetta

Dove has a poetry contest where she has to recite a poem. After searching on line and finding nothing suitable , I offered to write one for her. She is pleased.

Wordless Wedensday

Emily

A few days ago I had a time of loving prayer. We were talking about what it will mean for me to re-invent myself. I asked Him what He had for me? I was then in a flash of time, reminded of an event that happened many many years ago.
It was the day before the death of an amazing woman of God.
It was in 1995 I think that I was at the top of my steps and I heard God say "Go visit Jean now!"... I took another step and heard "NOW!" and so I did.
When I arrived a loving woman who's home fostered several adults, gave me a peace rose, and then placed another on the table in a glass before us.
Jean then , sitting in her wheal chair smiled at me and asked me to read the scriptures to her. I cracked open the Word and began to just read...It was the passage about passing...How the moisture escapes and if by reason of strength four score. ...She quoted a chapter to me and then just went away within. Never to speak to me again...
Now Jean was the first woman who ever offered me tenderness. When I married Mr Uncommon I tried to take care of Jean in her home. I was not able to lift her. She had so many times she wept when I cleaned her toenails out. She just could not understand how I could do such a gross thing for her. The Elderly suffer with simply fixes. When toenails are left untended they rise with the soil underneath and become long, hard and painful. It was only what was right to do. She would hold my head on her chest and just pat my back so lovingly. I was in my early 20's. then.
Well back to that day. After Jean "left" to the inner chambers of her spirit.

At that visit I was involved in a lengthly discussion with a man who had had a stroke. It was such a joy and I was naive and in my youth and joy. I told his wife of our talk where upon she raged in my face. It was a hard lesson learned.
It was what that man said to me that flashed in vision before my face. You see that he did not want to be there for his wife or anyone else. I was the only person he spoke to. I did not learn this until too late.

He said..."Who will come when you leave?"

I remembered the event and the wonder of Grandma passing that night knowing she was going home to her Lord. She called her Sons and told them to come and not to call the Paramedics that she was going home. She did just as the passage she had quoted the day before.

I dozed back off to sleep...

I dreamed of visiting a nursing home and placing my hand on the cheek of a face with oxygen on her nose. Then I awoke.
I told the Lord Here I am...
I called a woman in missions at church and told her.
She gave me the number of a daughter of a 102 year old woman who she knew would love a visitor.
I called the daughter telling her of this.
I attend a visit to dear 102 year old, Emilie. She was the very woman in my dream even down to the oxygen on her nose.
I read the scriptures to her and It was Timothy.
I read psalm 91 and she told me how that is the passage of the missionary. I departed and kissed her cheek and touched the side of her face just like I dreamed it. She welcomed me back to visit any time.

That Psalm was a gift to me the night before I had a woman come and share the Gospel with me over 26 years ago. It struck me what she said about it being the psalm of a missionary It seems a pearl to embrace.

She was cold and her legs were below her in a most uncomfortable way. I spoke to the woman at Church on Sunday. My MIL made a light shawl for her. As I see what is before me as I walk into what I am to do.

It is the widow and the orphan who cry alone.

The worse thing I have ever known in my life is that utter aloneness.
It is a prison of isolation that deprives one of the truth of their existence.
This is a prison that we can set free those who have need for a simple reminder that they do exist. That their existence does matter.
Their breath is not a void but a gift.
My heart reaches out to the widow, widower and orphan.. I was reminded of Grandma Jean's last visit.

Today
I picked the children up from school and took them to the nursing home. I introduced them to service. I told them about the orphan and the widow. I told them about the prison of the nursing home. How many wait hoping that someone will come. I explained that they are lonely and so...
Dash pipes up...
"Mom we will just say "Hello" to them"...
I was overjoyed! Yes! "you got it!"... I said. ..."That is perfectly right"
We took a shawl and a quilt for her. The woman at the Church must of called because she had a blanket on her shoulders and a quilt on her lap.
The children came and Dove was timid and Dash bold as you please.
We sat on her bed. She was having a breathing treatment.
Dash said..."Hay I have asthma too! I do those".
It was nice to see the comfort level.
I read John 15 at her request. The children were enlightened at the hard phrases of the King James reference, as I explained it to them.
Then we sat just a few moments. Well... then, we left.
It was a half hour visits and she invited us back.
I did not want to tire her out too much. The children were good. The exit was met outside with a ...
"Ya! now we can use our outside voice!"
We listened to Irish music and sang all the way home. Dove grabbed my hair with her toes and I caught her foot as she screeched with glee. she said.."that makes my heart go fast". I repeated it over and over as she just squealed with excitement. It was a fun ride home.

What a weekend!

Catching up...
Saturday we had the "open house"
I awoke with a precious dream where God was holding my with a hand on each side of my head and He kissed my forehead...
It was a tender start to a day that was very rich.
I awoke to working on the details needed to have the house show ready.

Our neighbor across the street was so kind and so generous as to keep the dogs in her back yard.
We left and took off to the Pancake house with all of us so hungry and with such low blood sugar that we were in a bad way. The waitress we had was NOT amused with serving children. It was a hard time ordering with her rudeness. I overcame and through the fatigue of it all enjoyed the children and the table spread with such generous servings. Almost all the food was eaten. The tummies were full and the giggles were back and we left the place with a right attitude and an appropriate regard for our server. Sometimes you just gotta rise above the opposition :)

We took the kids to an indoor playground they played and we all had a nice time. I played an old video game that I played 25+ years ago. It was a time of relaxation the kids ran and crawled all through the tubes. Daddy Man joined them and I did not due to my knee I can not crawl around like that. It was a lot of fun. Dash was a "monkey" he climbed hand over hand then sissy joined in. They got so much exercise and play. Then Mr U. went to the car to get the cell phone and I had a message on it. About this time I asked an attendant if the character could come out to see the children. He said he only come to the parties. Then I asked another attendee and he said he would look into it.
He returned with a coy smile and I took the children over to the door way. We were the only ones who knew he was coming out.

It was so exciting to see the smiles on the children's faces. Mr took this shoot of me because he said my smile was as big as theirs. I thought it so sweet to see how God made a way.

OH! they were so happy! This is the character that is Dash's favorite stuffed toy. (a gift from me years ago). The kids dressed them selfs in matching shorts and t-shirts that day. Those are the ones I made way back when.

Well that just about made their day ...but wait...
We were going to go to a wave pool ,but opted for the play place instead. I am afraid of the wave pool. I had told God that I just was not O.K. going to it. With the crowds of people it is a dangerous place for me (my knee) getting struck by children in the water hurts me.

That message...was a friend inviting my kids over to go swimming! So we left the play place and got a cool drink on the way. We arrived and enjoyed some time watching the man of the house tie fly's. What a cool art form. They watched the kids and Beloved and I had a mini "DATE"!
We drove around went to a mall and walked a bit, then we went to a store and bought a DVD for the family(cheaper than going to a movie). We then went out to a light Mexican food dinner and just visited. We told each other what we loved best about the other and just enjoyed the silence of our love. We returned for the children and stopped to get them a taco and then had a movie night with the kids. It was a wonderful day.

The OPEN HOUSE>>> We had three lookers. One was a new neighbor who was going to tell a friend about the house. The Realtor said it showed very well.

Sunday
We awoke and went to services. It was very nice. Timothy was the lesson about how we ought behave as Christians. It was a nice service. I really enjoyed it. Afterward I met the woman in missions who had sent me to the 102 year old Woman (Emily) we spoke.
I made a nice lunch when we got home. I sliced the turkey breasts that I had roasted.
The word last week about the 5th commandment led us to the Grandparents and with much pleasure we had a visit there. The children got the sweet attentions they so long for and they were satiated. I taught Dove how to play solitaire on computer, she loved it. Dash played a game with Gramma and then Dove played it too. The men had time to be together.

We came home Dash and I played a game he made up where he drew a picture I got to look at it then draw it by memory. It was a time of tying cords with him.
I fixed a meal and we all had another movie night with the kids and then it was bath time (with goggles of course). Story time was sweet to hear.

This last week flew by

Last Monday I found chicken on special for $1.77 pound for breast.
I cut them into tenders and then laid them out on plastic wrap and froze them. Then you just bag them. This type of thing is sold for up to $9. pd.
It will serve the family well.
I cooked all week and did lots of dishes and cleaned house every day.

At the grocery store a deal on goggles answered the children's hearts desire.

They were so full of delight and the floor got too wet! It was the sweetest thing.
Dove (who was gifted with a jump rope from the tooth fairy) squealed in glee... Oh I love that tooth fairy!" " She is so awesome!" in full fantasy as if the reality did not exist except with a sweet coy little side smile when she saw me beaming.

On Thursday I had a group to chaperon at the zoo. We were several classes full on 6 buses.
This is the group of kids I had. Dove her friend and the two boys that were just wonderful kids.
I packed a back pack and brought extra food and it was needed., One child had no money and no food along. We all shared our food and we all had a grateful time.
We went to the gift shop before the crowds and the children were each given an endangered animal that they got to keep. Mr. U . and I decided that it would be good to do so.

On the way back we had several of the children singing in the bus. The driver played music that the children knew. He was a nice guy. Every field trip the drivers have just been fantastic.

We all marched into class and I went home for a few moments then returned to get the children at days end .

We do several head counts so as to be good and sure we have them all. Our class of 21 had 5 parent volunteers! To me that was impressive!
It was a fun day.

On Friday the children spent a few hours at my girl friends and I worked on the house. We had the open house on Saturday .