My beautiful daugter

"Daddy Man" gave her a cup of worms to release int he forest. They were her pets for two days.

Over at big mamma
I read a beautiful post about a Mother who sees her daughter. Her love for her child focused on who the child is..She in this has been an example to me.

The things we focus on grow bigger! It has been in my role as a Mother to my daughter that I have become derailed. Trying to help her to overcome I got focused on her disabilities and they grew to consume me with fear and concern and just plane wore me out to tears that she is so challenged.

My Daughter
How every morning a very softly spoken child is there. Befriending your brother and offering loving kindness to me. You are sweet and full of wonder. Your imagination is the grandest I have ever witnessed in another human being. You just turned 10 years old yet your not jaded like so many 10 year olds are. You offer innocence still. You are fresh every day full of new character roles to explore. You feel so deeply that you often become those whose roles you perform in your inexhaustible world of creative interpersonal pursuit . Your love of nature thrills me. Yo are so kind to all living things. I like that about you a lot
I hear you sing almost every word that comes out of your mouth at full voice your heard in this world. Rarely do you walk my sweet child your is to skip or to dance or to run across a room. Your a flitting butterfly bouncing form thing to thing unaware and unintentional of the destruction caused as you knock into the would around you. When you are wrong you easily apologize, your lies even seam and exploration of what that character might do, and then you don't like it and apologize. You bend into the right choice smoothly and easily. You adore you Father, brother and I. You dance with your words when you say our names. So often when in trouble for an action or error it is like you really have no idea you did anything wrong and you seem mortally wounded by the thought of it. Correction cuts you deeply and must be approached gently and I fail a this when I am frustrated. So often I am confused as to weather you had intent or not.
So many nights of your life you lie in sheer panic as I do all I know to do and I learn all I can to help you. Sleep has often left you freaked out by the free floating of your strong compact little body. Hours of comfort without the ability to reason has left me grieved that I have nothing more to offer you than to just hold you. You are so sweet when you witness the pain my body gets in helping you, you grieve as if it were your fault. You are not to be blamed daughter. You deserve to be held and all night if you need it. I want so much to give you all that you should of had all of your days. I know that you are afraid but I will not leave you I will always ,even if it is a whisper from beyond be with you.
You are ever ready for a treat, whatever yummy thing is about your mind affixes to it like a steel trap. You are so predictable in this. Your coy little smile of hope and expectation are so endearing. I so hope that I do not leave you before I can be there to support you as a mother to your own young. You are so artistic like me. your mother. Your mother. Creativity flows from you I wish I had so much more of me too offer you. Hour heart and mind desires to do so much yet your abilities betray you and yet you keep trying. I see you waiting to be pulled out. Unlike your brother who is right there demanding he be noticed you await it. I have to be so careful to pursue you. You are a delight to be pursued!
My Little Dove so fragile in heart mind and spirit you are so strong in character. You fly to your own breeze and your flight is so innocent and beautiful. This world needs your beauty and grace. I fear that it will eat you up.
When I awaited the trip to Russia to bring you home I remember the songs that were given to me. The one I overheard your singing in the car yesterday. "Somewhere out there, if love can see us through, well be together" How many times I cried awaiting that trip to get you into my arms and out of that orphanage crib. The night before your little body was handed over to me we went to the Russian Moscow Symphony and there were tears in Igors (our Russian host) eyes as he pointed out in Russian print that it was indeed my other song God had given to you the day I was certified to adopt you(Many months before) ... Owed to JOY. I wept, we all wept to listen to God crescendo of your freedom flight.
"hearts unfold as joy surrounds me" My child you are that JOY, your joy of who you are surrounds me. I have far to many times focused on helping your needs and not on who you are.
I will fix my gaze on you Little Dove . You are wonderful. I know your don't understand the way your father or I might respond to you sometimes It is so hard not to respond to you as to any other child. May we better pursue your heart in our responses. Your beauty is unique. I hope that your Diamond shines through all the darkness around you. I will do my best to have wisdom for you my daughter. I want you to know you are safe that God is watching over you. I trust him in that and so should you child. Your are a wonderful sweet, kind, creative , vibrant, thoughtful loving girl. You belong to us for ever and ever and we belong to you. The world needs you . You offer a beauty that is missing all around us. A beauty of gentle , kind strength. Goodness , purity and grace. Every one who has ever known you has been captivated by you. As your name is defined Captivating and a Gift to us us from God. Pursue your purpose and your achievements will change the world.