I am feeling so much better today.
I appreciate all your kind words, thoughts and, prayers.
I had a wonderful day.

just resting

Medication withdrawl going poorly please pray.

I am going to just say hello, I have been pretty sick withdrawing form the old medication. Also yesterday I had a bad latex exposure. Beloved my darling cared well for me last night. I had 5 kids and another adult here yesterday. I love my dear friend company. When the mother of my extra kid showed up I was pretty much immobile with the head ache that would not stop. If ever I thought my eyes ears and skull could just burst open and explode with massive force it was yesterday afternoon throughout the night and into the morning. It has calmed down now. the pain has the weakness and dizziness nausea and such hits me hard if I move around much. Harder than we thought. I almost thought of the ER but i knew I could not take another latex exposure.
Please pray for me this is tough.
I will go to rest ow. the kids will be home just my two. I will give them computer time and just lay on the sofa. My darling said to call if I need and he will get right home and help.

This too shall pass:)
Loving all of you.

What a ride

Wow ! What a ride the "Goose" took me on today. I love these kind of days. Just walked right into it.

After my last post I stood to see the time on the calender (9:15).
It was 15 minutes till the Doctor appointment for the follow up for my knee. I attended it walked right int he door as she stool and greeted me and ushered me right into the exam room. No wait at all...The surgeon wants me to bike or swim if I can to keep the joints moving freely. I gained 70% improvement in my left knee and 45-50% in my right knee. He reminded me that we are still looking at knee replacement within 7-10 years if I am able to hold out. I have to have the injections again in 6 months or longer if I can hold out. I have 11 months on the last injections so we are hopeful. They are like Family and we spoke fondly like old friends.
On the way home I stopped by a dear friend's home. She has been in my thoughts and prayers. She was home. We visited briefly and set up a play date or three one for each of the next three weeks. She will come tomorrow with her children after school. I told her I needed to call to get an Appointment...
"Do you think you could get in?"...she asked sceptically.
I smiled...

I excused myself and I went home and cared for the The garden. I watered by letting the hose run low while. I came back in to call for an appointment to have a medication check. Many people have shared concerns with me over the medications side effects I have endured from April until now. I thought I had only been on it for three months or so. She changed my medication to the one that has a side effect of weight loss. That is the opposite of one of the the problems of this medication I have been on. So after two other doctors and my husband and several friends urged me to go in I finally did so. I called and the girl said" how soon can you be here?"..."I said oh,... 20 minutes or so"...
She asked If I could get there by 10:50 I told her I was on my way!
While standing at the counter they were making appointments at the earliest next week. :)
I arrived having all GREEN LIGHT except one! I even did the speed limit.

So tomorrow I change medications. The big dread was withdrawals they scared me. I was tired of challenges so I have been putting this one off. She encouraged me I would switch right over and may only have some nausea from it. I sure hope she is right!
I came home moved the water and gave the dogs a yard break and ate a salad.
I took off to the school. I considered it more valuable to do. I crept up on Dove while she was walking on the play ground. She looked up an with triumphant joy exclaimed.."Mom"! You came!"...She was crying with joy. Her little friend pipes up..."I told her you would, she has been all upset thinking you wouldn't but I knew you would!"
I taught a group of 4 students who now have tools to comprehend and score better on the testings.
Two kids approached from last week showing me they got a 90% and a 100% during the week. The scores show the kids now KNOW HOW TO FISH. I spent a lot of one on one time so as not to just give them a fish. It paid off big for them!
I recalled what God had called me while I was forgoing my chores to go work with the kids...
"Mother of Many"

Skate Party tonight and I offered to give this kid a chance to go. Mom did not have the gas money to take her (said the child). They are all out playing and having fun. The teacher approached me and gave me a FREE PASS! She said "are you taking another child with you? this might help defray the expense!"...
Again God's provision

I tooled a few pair of earrings. With many more to do I may well work on them after the kids do home work. They had early out today.
I will give them 15 more minutes then It is homework time for all of us. It is so cool to see how they respond when I sit there to and do my Bible study. It is called Wisdom for Mothers. They are totally impressed. So sweet!

The Giving Tree

Good Morning!

I just returned from the bus stop. I grabbed the latest gift out from under the giving tree.
Monday I did all the floors here at the estate. I had wished for a junker broom to use out on the front porch just in a passing thought.Knowing full well that probably if I searched the garage I would find the one out there. Yes you guessed it. There under the giving tree was an old junker broom.
Monday (the day I did floors) when Dash came home from school he had a new library book. This book we also own somewhere out there in those boxes. The book..."The giving tree". He read it aloud to me. He is now six months ahead of his class in his reading and has surpassed the first goal.
I had an extra child Monday the girl who has a hard working single Mom. So we found the broom late Monday night as we were seeing them out..
I have been studying recently about who He (God) is, and Who I am in Him...I know what kind of friend I have in Him. I want so desperately to live the life worthy of the fight I put up for it. I want so much to thank Him and please Him with my life. It is like being and adoptive Mom...I want to give back so much more for I know the measure that I have been given is above and beyond. It is that way with my life. I have been given so much above and beyond. So many have died at their own hand other have faded off into addiction or obscurity and madness. Some how I made it out.
He knew me, called me by name and adopted me . Why not the others?...
I think of choice as I tear up. I just do not understand. I know my choices , but it could not really be that different...could it?
Fortitude? Courage? tenacity...all of this came from Him.
The season is upon us once again. I was guarded from it as I realized I needed to rush yesterday and totally missed the displeasure of the hollos eve isle. I glance at it and thanked Him for the need to exit the store. I dont feel scared... no rather it leaves me ill to my stomach and spinning in my mind. It was here on the blog, last year that a great offence occured due to my views and responce to this upcoming season.

I have a temptation to just go away untill November.

This is my blog!
This is the gift I give to myself to chronicle the life lived, that I may have record of it for recall. That my children might have knowledge of my heart after I am gone from this world. Not that I have plans of an exit :)
I awoke to my sweet son's lovely song as he swung outside my window. So sweet a joy is he to have. He is a delight to my soul. Some twenty years of waiting for him now seam a flash in time. All that longing wrapped up in a little boys song as it flys through the air a light on the wing of a prayer of gratitiude.
Dove she so glorious. She came to me today respocibly having me sign for her homework. I told her how proud I was of her for being so responcible to gain her knowledge. How her prize it freedom. She has faced strong temptations to defray her duty and she declined them with a wisdom far beyound her peers. She is growing coy as smiles with a playful defiance as if I know it is wrong... I am just pretending to be naughty. I scold her lovingly as that is what she expects with my smile revieling that I am savy of the game. A huge hug from each and they are off on the bus. Waving as if going on a jurney into farr away regions and distand lands. Dove strongly desires me to attend her class and help other children today. I am told that if I do not come...
"You are letting them all down Mom they are all so excited to get tohave you come"...
Who could risist that?...even if my room does need tending and the chores do need doing? So off of here to walk into me day.
I will not go away: It is just a real hard season and I so appriciate your prayers.

Pray for India

Demon worship has a price. We are watching the effects once again as the misguided souls worship demonic forces.

A request has gone out for prayer as we become aware of the dangers faced by India's Christians. Pray for the souls who need Salvation and a way out a way of escape from the prevailing cultural taboos.

Like lambs to the slaughter.

NEW DELHI, India (CNN) -- A stampede at a hill-top temple in western India killed more than 147 people and wounded 55 others who had gathered to celebrate the start of a religious holiday on Tuesday, police said.

Victims of the stampede near an Indian Hindu temple are carried away from the scene.

More than 25,000 devotees were trying to reach the 15th-century temple through a steep and narrow pathway when the stampede occurred around dawn Tuesday, officials said.

The Chamunda Devi temple is located inside a fort atop a hill in Jodhpur, the second-largest city and a popular tourist destination in the Indian state of Rajasthan.

Authorities do not know what prompted the rush, but state Police Chief K.S. Bains rejected as "baseless" reports that it was triggered by rumors of a bomb.

"But one thing is clear that a cascading effect did take place as it was a slope where it happened," he said.

India has been on edge in recent days after a string of deadly bombings across the country.

The crowd had gathered to celebrate the start of Navaratri or nine nights. For nine nights and 10 days, Hindus worship the various forms of a Hindu goddess.

Rajasthan Home Minister Gulab Chand Kataria told reporters that police had planned for the event and deployed "enough" officers for crowd control. But the massive numbers overwhelmed them.

Following the stampede, devotees -- some in blood-soaked shirts -- carried the limp bodies of victims on to police vehicles, while emergency officials frantically tried to tend to the wounded.

Temple stampedes are not uncommon in India during religious festivals.

Last month, more than 130 people were killed when panicked worshippers tried to flee a crowded mountaintop Hindu temple in northern India. That stampede, which occurred on the second day of a nine-day religious festival at the Naina Devi Temple in Himachal Pradesh state, apparently was triggered by a false rumor of a landslide on the hill above the crowd.

And in January 2005, more than 250 people were trampled to death during a pilgrimage in the western state of Maharashtra

Tackle It Tuesday

My old friend (yes my
dog did chew it up). Of course, I did not pay head when the Spirit had warned me to bring it in off the porch that morning. The Lab ate the word and drug it over into the sprinkler to see if he could get it to grow. He had read that living water thing :)
Women's Bible Study this Morning. I think I may not offer hospitality today for I need to get some tasks accomplished. I will as you know follow the goose though. He just might have a different idea on the day than I do.
My home work is being cone when the children are doing theirs. The see me doing it and really raise their own posture and take their own much more seriously. Dove even asked me to review hers, her friend told her to say she was finished and she felt upset that she did not set a boundary with her for now she is concerned of her grades becoming bad. Cool thing tohear her say on the walk to the bus stop.

I made the kids a treat this morning for breakfast.
They were sweet and really enjoyed it.

Last evening I was able to get all the eye and head pins set in the laid out earrings.
Tooling them and carding them will follow, perhaps today.

Laundry on the line will be a big part of my mid day. The children brought their hambers to the washer for me this morning.
Big task is the master bed room and bath room. I need to do the floor and the shower stall too.
All the wass art is stacked on the floor against the walls in there and I would love to make my sancuary beautiful again.

Monday, Monday....

Tom Sayer and Huck Finn went fishing this mornin'. They were playin' hookie (before school of course). Huck done caught himself a "dog fish". That thing done snapped his line a more than a once.

Tom Sayer retrieved it for Huck but that dog gone dog fish just a kept a comin' back for more of Hucks bait.

Then it was off to the moon! Moon walkers kiddie ride Tom and Huck thought playin' hookie and all they would go have some 'musment.

Tom left huck with a bit of a bump!


My day was spent on the floors.
By clearing all the floors of everything first it is a process that gets the job done well.

It felt so good to have clean floors.

The dining room chairs have felt pads on the legs so I clear all the dog hair and sweep it with the micro fiber mops. My floors here are mopped with just water. By using the micro fiber mop I just rence it out every so often. With asthma we avoid all harsh cleaners.

The tile was almost black from the dogs. Bar keepers friend scrub works instantly to clean the tiles with very lettle elbow grease. It has been a long month and a half that the floors had to await my ability to scrub them due to the knee injections.

With this brown ball of fur the floors might last the day:)

I love the clean floors.

Hanging the laundry on the line has become a pleasant time to me. The breeze was an excelent balm. The silence was golden. I'll do more today.
I had an extra kid yesterday so today I will have more eviening time.
The laid out earrings recieved all the head and eye pins and accenting beads. I'll have to do some tool working on them to finish them up.

Week end in review

Early Friday morning I awoke to this...

Once They were all off, no lunches made.
I took some pain killer for my implant and set out to garden.
The sky was a serenity that embraced my diligent wherry bones.
I found myself really enjoying the time.

Mushrooms have come on their own.
Not edible but very cute!

This fellow (Fred) joined me in my garden.
He is an old and worn friend.
The dogs however...

Flanked my chair!

The Lab was telling him the 'what for' talking at him then looking up at me as if to say "don't you see that guy in the garden ?"

My sweet golden came over to nudge my arm and say listen to the Lab he is showing you someone is in the garden.
The funny Lab just woowufwoogruffed at it.
then would nudge me and point at him.

I had a nice long visit with Denise "shorty bear" on the phone.

I did chores, Daddy man brought in Taco Bell to treat us.
Being in a bit of a funk I was almost going to blow off the girls night out. Mr U. STRONGLY encouraged me to go play. I came up with every excuses in the book. He confronted me saying..
"Your isolating aren't you?"..
Oh! man cant get away with it (that's what happens when your loved) I got ready at the last moment and called to get the location. I had a nice drive. The evening with two good friend was a nice break. They and I were not as able to visit due to the programming of the event but it was fun. They asked for folk to come up and sing silly songs. I did! I went up and sang a crazy.."Jingle bells Bat Man smells Robin laid an egg... and a On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese ...I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed. It was fun to see all the audience join in and finish out the course. I enjoyed myself and coming up to the power within me to lead. I sorta forced myself to overcome the timidity.
I came home and held Dove for a good 45 minutes and just enjoyed her chatter and she shared some sweet things about her journey and daily doings.
Saturday Morning
After feeding all the life that depend on me, it was still early when I left for my meeting.

Arriving home afterward I had but 25 minutes to make a pic nick lunch and three sheets or scrap book pages. We gave a page to each of the Ladies who were now out of a job. These are the women who helped so many of us to become forever families. The economy has hit the international adoption industry. The agency had to close down our local office. Three amazing women now unemployed with families of their own.

The long line to say farewell was a hard thing for the kids to do.
Dash Hawk regressed and became ill to his tummy.
Our sweet friends had to leave and without their (the kids) little buddy to play with the fun came crashing to an end.

The children were so board while we stood in the second line.
Not too happy.
Dash had to be in Daddy Mans arms.
Poor Daddy has sore arms from it.

We left shortly after and hung out at home.
The day was cozy and the children hung close by we all had down time.
We watched T.V. , rested
In the evening we set up the old movie projector.

My sister mailed me the old 8mm movies she had in her possession. The year range was form 1957 through 1972. My youth. I had never watched these and so it was rather emotional.
I was moved by what I saw. The tell tell images of confirmation and full of Oh..."it is no wonders".

I am still a bit sad from them.
I saw my childhood image in all there may only have been around 10 minutes in all of the hours and hours of film. Much of it was from before my time as my step dads kids. Those were years before they married Out of some 50 tapes only maybe 10 were in our year range (those that are just to the right of the projector). Most of the tapes were black in the center and so only a few images were visible.
I witnessed the deterioration of my Mother.
When they first married she was happy and vibrant, but year by year she grew sullen and heavy. Hurt filled her eyes where in the very early years there was a bit of a smile.
My step dad was a very violent man who had late stage syphilis untreated from all those years out to sea as a merchant marine. So many ports. It was the death of my Mothers joy when in those days they made her go to the health department where they formally told her and she had to be tested and treated. It just humiliated her so badly.
I saw the transition of it as he had retired and she had begun to destruct herself and her life.
I saw my sister grow up and harden and my brothers who became absent. So many hurtful remembrances.
I do however feel grateful to have been able to witness and see my own childhood for the first time some 40 years after the fact.
I just found myself quiet most of the evening.
Sunday Morning
Home and quiet.
In the garden I set the sprinkler on timer and came in to blog.
The bad news was my photo bucket was full on Google!
Blogger was not allowing any downloads. Well my blog is all about photographs of life.
Beloved worked on it for hours as I finished my beading and carding goal.

We had a simple lunch and then wen to go check on the tailor.
We have drug our heals so long on this project!
I think non of us want to sell it.
We just can not or choose not to go into debt to get a rig that can haul it.
We are all a bit broken heart ed.
Once it is should we will save a almost $700. a year in registration, insurance and storage lot fees.
It is our goal to be following our quest for an emergency fund. Then to continue on the financial program we are following by Dave Ramsey.
This will set us far in that goal as much as it hurt.

I love our Coleman fleet wood West lake. It sleeps eight.
This is my cabin in the woods. free from worry while I am away in the city.
We have to let it go...We choose to let it go.
All of us pain at the idea and necessity of it. Our four runner can not pull it well and it is a very old rig. We are not going into debt to buy a newer truck. So we will be letting it go. Of course this has been a torture because we get to this point and have not followed through so many many times. We must follow through!

Dash wanted to help Daddy with the dung duty, mowing and lawn care. He shut his hand in the gate, then could not move the trash barrel and just cried and was VERY frustrated. He just lost it when Daddy had to send him inside due to his asthma.
A wise Daddy latter set up this freezer box and gave Dash a big dowel and told him to have it out and just hit it. Daddy drew a face on it. I told him to give it words. So while I was in the coop Dash bellowed out...
"I hate having asthma!
I hate wearing hearing aides
I am angry!"

Laughter pursued him as he vented more and more.
Then sissy got in the act and had her turn.
It lost it's glory when the box kept falling down...
That and Dash just wore himself out.

I worked on lay outs after I put all the gold stuff away.
I set out the silver for the summer and winter color range.
I played with color and did a lot of lay out designs for assembly.

I will add all the head and eye pins at the same time.
Work assembly style to make your time more efficient.
That is often how I accomplish things.
I learn how the professionals might do it.
Time is money to them.
I find getting out one thing at a time makes sence. I worked with the glass then the plastics and tomorrow I will break out some stones.

Dash and I had some one on one time and then Dove joined me while Dash gave over the turn. She however joined me to late and she had to get called away to brush teeth and story time for bed.
I will start my day for her turn awaits tomoorow as does a new week.