Saturday, September 5, 2009

Wonderful Cloudy Morn

I cried out to God and He heard me!

Steve and I sat out and shared our morning and a cup of coffee it was cool and the sky dark and wonderful. We are all enjoying the cool. I have had the proper appoligy to my sweet man that I will use more care over myself. This was a very scary thing to have happen and Steve is concerned I do not repeat performance.

Sewing guild today. So I hope that I can bring you some nice images when I return. May all of you have a good morning. I am so refreshed to finally be able to be out doors. These long hot summers really make me yearn for the cool.

God knew and heard my cry for actually I think I was at my wits end with the heat.

Bee Bliss

Friday, September 4, 2009

Water storage and whatnot

My little guy had a breakfast fit for a fiest yesterdayThat bowl of tomatoes was gone shortly after school.
He is growing so fast. He sorta looks sad in that picture?
He really likes being home.
I wish I were still able to homeschool them.
God said no, so I just am able to not go there in my mind.

With this heat the hens were not laying well so I broke down and grabbed eggs from the market...happened that they had some that the expiration date had come up on.
Know this that the best eggs to boil for egg salad are ones that are at the later end of prime. This was a great buy and we got 5 dozen there are few left now. I boiled two dozen and will make the begged for egg salad for Dash.
He eats 4 big eggs with ease (not every day).

It made up for today they fended for themselves.
Cereal and berry juice.
Mom was not strong to do task this early a.m.
I made it to the bus stop and sat over on a bench near a door.
A car pulled up to the children and I was on my feet at the curb in an istant!
It was a step mom speaking to a boy. The kids knew her and I had also noticed her wave to him several times.
To think of all the bus stops where kids have to keep safe without and adult.

Bounty come in all ways

Last night the rains were so good for my soul.
I am not allowed to be out today to recover my fluids internal after the heat
exhaustion. Still a little weak.

I stepped out to get you a photo or two

Dove had the wonderful idea of the garden trash can under the patio eave.
It might of filled to top but Steve was concern it would burst at the weight of it.

The rain tank is happy!
This was the goal!
Now we will just need to get it set up for a hose.

It is so very! humid and very! hot out today.

Here sit I filling my tank up on electrolytes.
I like the Smart Water better not so sweet.
I used up three pedilytes yesterday and still working on it today.

The kids were so sweet this morning.
Dash suggested they eat from the cafeteria at school today.
This being a good and proper way to take care of myself I concurred.
This was the first school bought meal of the year so far.
I am so glad it is Friday.

Dove is so pretty.
The child is now going into my hair car items I have save for her.
Many many years my hair was VERY long.
I have a beautiful collection of barrettes and things. I dreamed on day my little girl would use them so I did not discard them.
Now each day she comes out of my room adorned in a hair clip and a necklace.
Many of the necklaces are alright with me for her to try on ,but not to go to school.
Today I allowed her to ware a necklace that was her great grandmother Jeans.
It is the sweetest thing to see her recognize her beauty in the mirror.

I am resting. Sleep called me and I enjoyed several hours of it.

It is such a crazy thing Susie to have Heat Exhaustion and then sit on the porch in the rain. Oh for FALL!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

gully whopper!

Oh the heavens were merciful!
It just rained and poured hard for a good hour here!
Oh it felt so good to sit on the patio and rest.
Temps dropped over 30* to the upper 70's
The steal chair was cool to the touch.
Oh I needed that.

this mornings report .71 of an inch!

Watch out for heat stroke/heat exhaustion

direct sunlight will be 8C higher than the number shown in the chart.

Temperature Conversion
Celsius Fahrenheit
Celsius Fahrenheit
Celsius Fahrenheit



I have a couple of down days to spend. The heat exhaustion is under watch to see that I did not do any permanent damage. 100 oz of fluids. Pee on the hour every hour to rid my muscles of the build up of toxins.

Hello from me the old wet dog...
you think I'm gunna be water logged...:)

As much as I am drinking I have yet to get to the every hour to pee but I will rest like I have a choice?

I stopped to see my friend wrong day it is NEXT Thursday. You know I had it on the calendar for next Thursday and though It was a mistake. Now I got into the mall and waited an exhausted hour then endured to torment of walking back out to the truck.
The idea of walking and shopping was just not even an option.

The kids have curriculum night I do not think I can go? I really am not doing real great. I hate to miss it.

Heat Cramps. Athletes are familiar with this syndrome caused by salt depletion. It is easily treated with rest and electrolyte-bal-anced fluids such as sports drinks or drink plain water and eat salty chips or nuts. Avoid salt tablets due to the risks of overdosing.

Heat Syncope. Fainting happens when blood pools in the legs, often after standing too long. It is temporary; being horizontal usually prompts a return to consciousness. The biggest risk is an injury from falling. To help blood return to the heart, elevate the person’s legs, and cool the body with wet compresses and fanning. Turn the unconscious person on his or her side to prevent choking. One exception is if the person has been working hard; then consider the fainting due to heat stroke and call 911. Check the ABCs (airway, breathing and circulation) and cool him or her down immediately. Anyone who faints should be medically evaluated and not return to work.

Heat Exhaustion. This condition is serious and is caused by severe dehydration. Symptoms can include fatigue, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, plus early neurological signs such as headache, impaired judgment and anxiety. Exhaustion causes profuse sweating and cool, clammy skin. Move the person out of the heat, provide fluids as tolerated, strip off extra clothing, and cool them by wetting clothing and fanning. Have them medically evaluated.
Heat Stroke. This is a medical emergency. It can look like exhaustion except the body temperature is 104 degrees F or higher, and the brain is seriously affected. Neurological effects can include confusion, irrational or aggressive behavior, incoherent speech, collapse, convulsion, and coma. When the body’s heat-coping mechanisms have failed, sweating stops and the skin becomes red, dry and hot to the touch. Call 911 and quickly lower the body temperature.

Thankful Thursday

There was a song over my head this morning It has been a long while from the last time there was.

Not by might not by power but by my spirit says the Lord
These mountains shall be removed
I will build my spirit in you .
But not by power not by might
by my Spirit says the Lord

I knew that this morning I needed to apologize to my Sister.
I was so afraid.
I knew though that the character of it was greater than my fear.
I prayed a lot during the night and this morning awaited the kids departure to school.
I was sitting down to send her an e-mail too chicken to call :) I thought of how I should call. There was an E-mail from her. It was beautiful depiction of the life of Christ in the beauty of sculpture set in bronze. I sent her that her response... she said "you were forgiven a long time ago"... I think I just want to sit here and cry my eyes out in the release and relief of it.
I am so humbly grateful

It has been a busy spiritual week for me.
I am thankful for that...
Proves His love for me all over again ya know.
If error were left to be unchecked well I would of become like them who I swore I would not.
For this I am so very grateful.

My Great nephew is to be born soon.
This is the nursery printThe large blocks are the pillows
Two for moms bed and one each for big brother and big sister
They all 4 will be living in a studio room.

My sister took my nephew and niece scuba diving in their youth.
This baby's daddy loved to be under the ocean.

I have had these blocks a long time
Her fabric is to the right.
Funny I always wondered what this might get used for

I feel a bit of dajavew (sp)
This is a fabric for The mother to be she loves spiders.

I used the edge of the pillow boarder and adhered it to a little box
Lined the top and underside by using iron on fusing
The fringe was also an iron on

The underside is a metallic orange fish scale looking fabric.
This is what baby looking up will see.
I will make little hanging 3 dimensional fish to dangle from it.

My thought is a gift for the Mom of a under the mattress hanging off on the side of her bed caddy for bottle and anything she might need at hand while she nurses in bed.

Morning baking gave me the idea for a faster loaf so that it could be served to the kids for breakfast. Cinnamon sugar was a hit.
Smaller ones for PB& J for their lunches
The larger ones I sliced into two sandwiches for the next days lunch

Last month the garden looked like this.

The earth tilled to 10 inches or so and screened
this 8 foot span done.

It almost killed me.
Sometimes I am just too stubborn.
See Bee Bliss Gardens Blog
I got heat exhaustion/ touch of heat stroke yesterday and so safe and in a cool house I sit resting
I am still pretty nauseous I am going to read up on it to see if I need to do anything for myself.
I just made a docters apt and got in at 10:50 my time
wow how fortunate I am that They got me right in.
guess I am going to take the day off

Today I will be meeting a dear sweet friend of old at a mall
for sodas and a visit while we walk.
She lives so very far so with both our children in school
She thought to meet perhaps half way.
That will be the most of what I do today I think

I am so greatfull I was able to cool myself down
No out doors today.
Oh for fall.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tackle it Tuesday

Empowering the Adult
Parenting 101

This morning rang frustration as my parenting skills suffered a big wake up call.
Often we say things about how our kids drive us bonkers and I am no exception.
I realized that it was not him per say
but that it was my inability to parent him without the knowledge I needed to address the issue.
My response to him was from a kids perspective.
I love being "kind" to the kids feeling like "oh the poor dears just got home let them chill out a while tell them what to do and then watch myself get angry when they
"let my trust in them down".

... to hold them accountable and not just make life easy for them.
Having them do their chores, duties and homework when they get home is security and that is an innate need .
Letting them know how they can create for themselves the environment they desire.
A "grown up controls them" into the desire of the big kid they are and what they wished it would of been like for them. It is the example they knew.

When my kids got home today first
they wash hands (every day!) this is so important.

They had an apple and a few minutes to talk about the day.

So the timer was set for a 10 minute tidy...

Then for a 15 minute kick back time..,
For Dove TV for Dash no TV
Lie to me about your homework = no privileged.
TV/ computer is privileged not a right
He owned it tonight and apologized for his lies.

Then it was homework time.

It is my ADULT responsibility to hold them to it
not just accept their word

to check it.
I got very angry at Dash for he lied to me again...
but I realized that he needs an adult to stand over him and hold him to it.
It was me the "grown up" that really was a thorn in my saddle.

He actually seemed to appreciate it that I caught him in it yet again!
The adult pointed out correct procedure and made sure he got it.
No excuses
he was thriving on it!!!!!!!!!

I gave him a charting system that I will have to check and see each day that he did it.
He can check his own work before he tells me if he is done.
He will know when he is done.

You see Dash is pretty much a kidding.
He is off the IQ chart for his age range...
off the bell curve ...
off the paper!
He thinks he is too smart to do the mundane...
We have him in an Extended Learning Program
Being young we do not advance him for the sake of his emotional development.

Smart kids are a hand full and then some.
It is really a gift and a challenge to raise him.

It is all well and good to trust our kids.
I learned though that some kids test the system
to see if I cared enough to really check on him.

Any way after homework...
he now is in a good mood confident in his security that mom is not so stupid after all He finds security in that...
see what I mean about raising a smart kid...

They gleefully did their chores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jaw dropping to the floor once again...
They then had the down time all done by 4:00p.m.!!!!!!

I was able to have supper done
not having to wait on Dove to get her dishes done.

No more Grown up nagging about
"you need do get your home work done".

Dove.."Get your dishes done soon dad will be home...
I need to do the kitchen...soon Dove please get them done"...

Then in utter frustration yell at her to get them done embarrassment because Steve is going to walk in the door and the kitchen is not finished.

lets them know what is expected of them
and holds them to it.

I must of been a hand full!
I am told that I too am way intelligent...
perhaps that explains some of the "grown up's" frustrations and abuse on me as a kid.
Come to think of it the siblings who were very smart got the worst of it.

I must keep my adult in charge.

Grown up verses Adult
Over at A Life Restored I will do a post on this issue
Including the way you can tell who in in charge of your parenting:)

To those of you who were raised as Adults more power to you!
Your example to the world around you is priceless.
I am wishing I had your parents

But for those of us who had to grow up with grown ups who were never the adults we needed
we have to become adults with intentional vigor.

Monday, August 31, 2009

My soul is refreshed.

I have posted on A life Restored tonight.

My soul is refreshed

I just got done watching Extreme home make over" is was the Filch episode where a couple adopted 8 children adding to there own.
The team sent over plain loads of toys, bedding and food to Haiti I balled my eyes out.

Remembering that Christmas in Russia so many years ago.
Steve and I had a little extra money that we did not spend...
We had the orphanage worker take us to the medical supply, to a kiosk for a Christmas tree...the orphanage did not have one...

We were able to get some toys to hang above cribs and some toys to manipulate and equipment for bottles...
Those little children around my feet with cleft lips and downs who will never be adopted...
Dash who may well have never been adopted had it not been for the offer of a boy child and an open heart to receive any child...

I have lived all of my life ...and in a greater view it is/has been a beautiful gift.

I will be starting to work on the manuscript again after years of being silenced.
It will take a lot to do.

It will call up a lot out of me.
But God has a plan...His ways are high.

When I think though of the difference we all have a chance to make in the world around us
I can no longer of choice withhold the way God restored my life out of the fear of lies and rejection.
I had given my strength to it and became once again enslaved.

Those survivors sitting on the floor weeping left helpless without emotional support or medical means..
It is the full circle.
There are others some of you here and some on the other blog who need to know that your life will get better that all the hard work is worth it.

Forgive my self engrossed focus and know that all of you matter to me.
All of those babies matter...
Every life we touch can be made better different if we are willing to make it be so.

My heart courage faltered...

There is a passage that speaks about speaking on the things that we have seen in Him and heard in Him and witnessed in Him.

Today I was reminded and am going to chose to be reminded of the things He has brought me through.
I have kept silent in regards to my recovery far too long
I am again compelled to do the work to finish what he began in me.

To share with those who never have had or will have the privileges I have had.
I just wanted it all to go away.
That was, even in my attempts to protect others ...selfish of me.
It is not my job to protect others it is my job to speak the truth and give my voice to freedom.

So in the lyric of this blogs' name sake ...

don't worry mother, it'll be alright
and don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep tight
it'll be fine lover of mine
it'll be just fine

lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
no longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
fill your lives with love and bravery
and you shall lead a life uncommon

I've heard your anguish,
I've heard your hearts cry out
we are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out
set down your chains, until only faith remains
set down your chains

and lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
no longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
fill your lives with love and bravery
and we shall lead a life uncommon

there are plenty of people who pray for peace
but if praying were enough it would have come to be
let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves
to hear our voices ring out clear
with sounds of freedom
sounds of freedom

come on you unbelievers, move out of the way
there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith
to live, we must give
to live

and lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
no longer lend our strength to that which we wish to be free from
fill your lives with love and bravery
and we shall lead...

lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
no longer lend our strength to that which we wish to be free from
fill your lives with love and bravery

I wish to be free of the fear of telling the truth and sharing the freedom fight that so many wonder if it could really ever be lets see...lets hear it...
"tell my mother said tell...tell all donetta"


I'm alright...I'll post later.

Dawn is lighting up the world

As I sit this morning 4:30 this morning I am catching my breadth. I awoke at three and just laid there and prayed and thought. Knowing we are short on bread and the kids board of Cheerios I calculated that I could have a loaf of bread done if I just got up and started it.
So I did and it is rising.

The weekend was full of generosity toward a needy kid who spent not one but two nights here. Only to leave feeling upset.I think I broke a trust. By telling her guardian that she was very hurt and missed her mother. The kid may have heard and felt afraid to trust me now. How do you win? Dove is devastated that her friend is upset.

I do not have ease to open up my heart here now. My blog feels well infiltrated. Those who ...
Well if it were not for all the comments of support I would not be standing as well as I am this morning and I will say that the earth is quivering under the strain and stress I am experiencing.

I had a wonderful date with my husband this week end. We went for a long drive and tried to find a museum never did found a rest room in a panic, then drove up to the old neighborhood where we first married saw the old house. Had a nice lunch...boy how things change the quality is so reduced. We drove over to the other side of the city and went wandering in an antique store. It was nice.
I wish we might of found the museum for a change of events...our very seldom dates seem to always be the same old thing. We are so boring. We do enjoy each others company. Unfortunately I had a migraine that I just lived and pressed through. The kids had a wonderful swim time at our friends home.

Yep I am pretty down this morning. The dawn might come soon so might my joy...They say it comes in the mourning. Steve said I am just tender...He was sweet and held me. He changed the linens last night to my pleasant surprise. Dove is pre teen pulling away from mom time. I am so glad I understand the process. I do think that it is a challenge to not allow myself to take it personally. It is the time though when all I can do is hope I have set her up well to succeed as a young woman. I have so many wishes for the things that could of been done better or differently. I wish I would have had a better teacher and example myself.
Dash is at a little bit of a difficult stage. He too is gaining those independent things that at times can push my buttons then he can just be so profound. They are really wonderful little people. I feel sorta down on myself about my parenting and the things I have screwed up on. I just try to think how it feels to be in their shoes.
It will not be long now until the pulling away stage into Independence. A good thing. A bit bitter sweet to a mom. Many things haunt me that I so wish I would of done better.

I feel so sad...I watched so many children grow into adulthood and so many a child have a difficult time. I want so badly to see these two succeed in spite of Steve and I and all of the things we could of done so much better...I know in many many ways we have done marvelous things to help these two along. I just wish I could of given them so much more. A healthily extended family, a safe world to go out into. I am not finished yet of is just coming upon us that we have very precious little time to impact their lives for the best effect toward their futures. What a huge task to parent. Parents have to mature themselves while at the same time maturate the children who demand so much more knowledge than we often have been able to acquire.

Well it is 5:45 and time to go punch the bread down. I guess I took the blog back at risk.... Lord help me I feel depressed and sad and just plain old overwhelmed.

I had a dream last night that reminded me that the EMDR lady is surprizingly kind and she has the keys to the cell.

I must pull up courage, resolve and gentleness...I am really grieving over many losses.

Of course a plastic face never really did flatter anyone.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Spiritual Sundays

Standing up to Meanness

Friday I opened my heart up just an inch about the loss of my nephew this year to suicide and the pending arrival of the child he fathered.
I tenderly spoke of how his death pains me.

Anonymous found it necessary to be mean.

Meanness is a silencer.
It divides and conquers the very absence of fellowship that it demands.

It's amazing to me the ability to track that our technology and a very intelligent person may have.

Mean people come in all packages.
I have always believed that meanness is based in a wounded heart.
Thus they tend to do a bit of transference to everyone they come around.
Funny though that they often can desire (or perhaps appear too) to be kind and may even spend time and effort being so.
Thus the most confusing part of loving mean people.
I am called to compassion yet I do not have to tolerate, nor Mean Person do you , have to tolerate those covert behaviors in your own self.
We all have the choice to mature in our Character.
I would hope for your sake that you continue to do so.
If not it will be a terribly lonely life for you I am sure.
Meanness pushes away the very thing your after...

All the attention you were denied!

Now when hearts are tender and they receive meanness from others it can really impale us.
Down from the stake this morning come I.
I realized the transference.

I grieve for those who find it satisfying to transfer there wound onto others.
But it is their responsibility NOT OURS to care for, manage and do the work to heal themselves...not ours.
The depth of loneliness, shame and impending rejection that they must live with every day.

Now although I do care about those Mean Folks...
I will spend no more of my time pulling away because of them!
This is MY BLOG!

So anonymous with the deepest sincerity I do grieve those things that left you the way you are.
I do pray for you that your heart might heal.

It is in the Spirit of the LIVING LOVING GOD that I am able to do so.

My Dear Covering of a husband opened my eyes to the error of just erasing your comment.
It would perhaps of been good to let you my readers address such a one.

As He said also it is good that you who love me and who are those who truly care of my sorrow over the loss of my Dear Nephew
that was such an important part my young adult life
Never being able to be close to him due to the madness of my family of origin.
that was such an important part of our early marriage...
this child who I saw come to my door in a vision so many years after last I saw him...
Who knocked on my door that vision just days before my first trip to Russia...
Who asked me if I would be willing to receive those who came in the car that day with him.
It was at his request and the Lords preparation of a repeated vision of the event that took place...seeing what played out year after year in that vision...
This child whom I prayed and wept over year after year as did I his cousins and the siblings I was forced to remain in isolation from...
in order to not take my own life...
This young man who poured his heart out to me several months before His death...
This young adult that I simply could not help.
This soul who was so used and chased by people and the world around him.
This young man who chose to follow the path that lead slowly to his destruction who found it too difficult to follow any other way .
Far to many obstacles in his life ...his path.

This child whom I loved.
I grieve over.

Though I am not his mother,his sister or the mother of his child .
I watched his life unfold from a
(necessary self imposed for survival)
distance and grieved and wept and yes at times rejoiced.
A child with a heart so loving and so generous and kind that he in his own way even went so far in his despair and wound as to lay his life down in utter defeat.

So to all you Mean Spirited folk as Much as I have compassion for you and chose moment by moment to practice kindness to you...
I will not be defeated by the wound that lashes out from you!

For Greater is
than he who provokes the wound.

Perhaps joining us over here might just give you what you need


A message to all members of NaBloPoMo

The theme for next month's daily blogging is BEAUTIFUL. It's a word that means something different to everyone, which makes it ideal for a month's worth of interpretation and reinterpretation.

If you'd like to be included on the September blogroll with everyone else who's giving this daily blogging thing a shot, go here and follow the directions at the top of the page --
As always, blogging on the theme is not required for inclusion on the blogroll.

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Good luck, thanks, and happy blogging!


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Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

Blog Archive

By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

Click here for all crafts

e patterns My sister told me of this site

Please pray for her parents and family

Please pray for her parents and family
Amy has clicked her heals and flown to her real home. There is no place like home.

This was given to me for the third time in just a few weeks.

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
"For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."

Thank You Ross

Getting to know Me

What warm hearts you all offer

Thank you all for the kindness you have shown me with every Award. I am embraced. You Are a blessing.

Thank you Michelle

Thank you Michelle

Thank you Annette they are beautiful
Thank You Annette
Autism Awareness