Friday, April 4, 2008

Honesty as a challlenge to fear of rejection.

It has been a very busy time around here lately.
Today after a morning start with lunches and all...I got a call from the Mr. the truck was running very badly and I needed to get the kids to school then meet him at the mechanic....Confused I thought that I was meeting him there.
Dash was home sick... So with Dash in tow I went there and then came home to find the Mr pulling up behind me. I was to meet him here.
He changed all the plugs and wires for another $50.! and now the truck seams to be running fine.
I took Dash to the Pediatrician and then had to have a x ray for a possible sinus infection for him. That was a new one but with all the resistance to anti-biotic I followed advice. He did not have a sinus infection but does have a virus (cold) of sorts. No anti biotic needed!
I came home and just had to lay down a while. The new medication I am on made me very tired for a while.
I awoke to find Daddy Man and Son playing on the couch too cute!

So I had a little refreshment of Carrot juice and almonds.

Beloved went and got Dove from school, and let her stay a few moments with another mother and her friend at the park to come drop Dash off at home.
After he went back to get her the kids watched a movie and I worked some on this post some.

I looked out the garage door to see this...

He was washing my car, my filthy can't see out of the windows! Car! I did not even ask. He drove it twice with the truck not running and took mercy :)

We have the yard sale in the morning. Just for the one day as to not over due myself. We all drove around and hung signs and used crept paper to make them stand out.

The gardeners worked Wednesday on the back yard.
This has proven more stress to try to deep every one off of it.
I walked the two big dogs around the block and have to try to do this often. They are not well leach trained so i'll have my work cut out for me.

The other day these things were found in the middle of the street. I called the number on the bag but they did not know the customer who may have had them. I asked around I guess that I just keep them. They are fabric samples (the store said there was not a deposit on them).

I am here rested.
You see I fell asleep and jest sept for 3 hours today... I slept last night as well. Perhaps many of you can relate to sleep to some of you it my be a stranger. For me lately is was not easy to enter into. I could not calm down enough inside to rest.
Stress is a tormentor to those of us who have stress disorders.
My life has a journey of super natural restorations, but alas I am left with scars.
One of them is a Stress disorder called PTSD.
If and when I get under too much stress I have a bio-chemical challenge. My fight/flight gets stuck on. The adrenaline will not stop pumping. It is sort of like when someone chases you and you kick into high gear. Well selling of the house was on my heals, Then the Ushers thing and the" Chernobyl" question and so on, truck breaking down... and so on ...Well It got stuck on... the hamster broke the wheel and just kept on running around the stripped bearing.
It is a common affliction know to many who develop or who are prone to a chemical imbalance. It however is shrouded in inappropriate shame. I have been really struggling.
A honest heart is a good medicine. After trying to defuse and process with loved ones and friends. I still could not get my mind to wrap around the stress. I could not control the irrational stress response and became clinically depressed. I recently felt so much pain that I ran out of coping mechanisms. When the engine is not firring right all the faith in the heavens is hindered at best. A right mind hampered by the inability to focus and function smoothly.
Yesterday I braved all the courage I could muster and went to the doctor. I had been finding myself thinking of escapes from this struggle and I knew I needed help! Today is my second day on a saritonin/nor-epinephrine andti-depressant. I am beginning to feel a relaxed mind and have been able to shut off the intensity like Mania.
This has been a very hard task to prepare this home, parent my children, deal with medical issues of my child and the financial challenges at hand. The arrows are hitting behind the line and we are aware that what we are doing is right. We are just in for the fight. Truth and freedom do not come easy.
I have not blogged much due to the negative darkness that was shrouding me. I did not want to fill space with the yucky things that were filling my mind.
To those of you of faith thank you for your thoughtfulness.
I am honored by your prayers.
I am a woman who loves God.
I know that there is NO SHAME is casting a broken leg. Mental illness is a real hard thing. So many well meaning Christians have really hurt me over my life time thinking that it is something of satan.
But...if you beat a dog enough it's tail will always be between it's legs. Cause and effect it is not a weakness of character issue. So if any of you my readers can relate. Bless your hearts.
Please don't wait to get help.
The medication is sort a like a supplement for that which your body is not able to produce enough of. High blood pressure should not be neglected either and it is not evil either. I am defending mental illness....Oh ! should I not call it that? It is not a thing to be a shamed of. It is a medical condition that occurs in so many untreated people who really suffer in silence.
Please don't suffer alone. Reach out to someone you can trust. Keep reaching out.
Today I am feeling so much better! The trees even seem greener.
I think I can see the light and the tunnel is not so long of shadow.
I was so worried I might cause someone to stumble or be hindered. I was also concerned about judgment.
Well maybe It is just that YOU there just might now...well...maybe now you might know that you are not alone either.
Be Embraced.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


Speaking of cute! Last night little Dash (My skinny sweet little man in a baby's body) , was getting ready for bath time. Well he got a splinter on his bum cheek. I saw the inflammation a size of a dime, I saw a black speck. He said " I got a splinter but I pulled it out" well it was still in there a little bit. So I had to pull a splinter out of his sweet little bum cheek while keeping a straight face. OH OH it was so cute! Daddy Man and I got the sweetest chuckle (out of ear shot) over it. It was just so cute!
No, I did not kiss it better :)
I better get to work.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Tackle It Tuesday

Tackle It Tuesday Meme

My Master carpenter

Beloved fixed the door.

It is a mettle plate.

I painted it job done.

Remember the craft and Home school drawers.

This space is finished now.
I got it packed yesterday.

Dash has a clean room

So easy to pick up with nothing thrown around:)

I finished Doves room staging as well. We still have a half wall behind the shelf to paint. I packed the shelf but we still need to move it to the garage.

Menu Plan Monday

I have been neglecting my menu plan in the midst of all the hubbub. My arthritis is flared up as are the allergies. It is time to get back on the "eating for my blood type and stop blowing off my food allergies. So My Sweet Beloved Husband Insisted I go and get groceries focused on "ME" and my nutritional needs. I did so and now just need to implement the menu. I also need to begin my supplement regimen again slowly and remember to take my medicine for the angioderma ( inflammation) allergy problem. Now remember Dash too has food have a balancing act that often I drop the ball on my needs out of poor priorities. This week I must put me first not my forte'

Filling in the blanks :)
Breakfast: Spelt cereal ,soy milk with pure maple syrup
kids have...eggs scrambled with soy cream cheese and whole wheat toast with organic peanut butter or all fruit spread and strawberries.
green tea
Lunch: freezer Egg rolls and tea
Kids p/b and J , strawberries, Dash has pretzels and Dove has cheese crunches.
Dinner:Burgundy/Pepper Lamb tips and Sweet potatoes with green beans.
Kids may or may not eat my fair, I may make some popcorn chicken for their meat.
Breakfast: Scrambled egg with green onions and portibella mushrooms
Lunch: Seafood salad lettuce carrots and artificial crab
Dinner: Left over lamb for me? and sweet potatoes
family...been burrito for Dash , cheese nachos for Dad and Dove with refried beens.
Breakfast: Soy Yogurt and Flax plus cereal, green tea
Lunch : Stir fried rice
Dinner: Jasmine rice and ? ground beef Spanish style tomato sauce with bell peppers and cumin,curry and cyanne peppers Refried green beens.
Breakfast: spelt cereal and soy milk with pure maple syrup, green tea
Lunch : Freezer Egg rolls
Dinner: Sushi rice and ?
Breakfast: Yogurt and flax cereal
Lunch : me..?
Kids...Lunch meat sandwiches, small apple

Dinner: Salad organic romaine and veggies on hand
Lunch :
Lunch :

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The refining shine

Oh my... how full a day can be.
This day was full of friendship. My husband , my Sister and a couple of girl friends let me exhale the exasperations of a stressful time.
My husband took the jobs by the list and mastered 80% of it. I helped in a slow steady restful pace. Taking time on Saturday to rest my painful arthritic joints. Hands can sure hurt when over used.
We had a time of tending to my mealtime needs and to also take a good long nap on Saturday. I took time to stop and tend to my heart. Getting ready to transition I am refreshed with the edifying words reminding me of the proof of this courageous process. That I have been stuck expecting the worse and trying to force my brain to wrap around it. A good friend is reminding me that it is alright to expect the best.
I have to start making the appointments for Dash's testing for the wired balance testing for the symptoms are increasing and he is having more difficulty, Doves braces and my own dental implant. We will try to interview another Realtor who hopefully will be more trust worthy and less suspect than the last two. Integrity is a tough thing for us to locate right now. I do hope we can find the right person to sell our home.
I was able to get 4 of the 5 curtains made today for the glass doors. I got the side gate painted and Mr Uncommon has finished the back door repair, washed all the windows outside and the screens, sand and varnish the front door. I got the back door painted and grocery shopped too.
It is the crest of the mountain for us. It is the hardest of times for this marathon is in the hill top season. We make it to selling and then the crest be conquered and we can begin our descend into the green valley of goals sought after. It is now a great time of perseverance and endurance. I have faltered shown my utter need for God. I am dross risen to the top of mettle tried. One day may I shine a reflection worthy....When I do... may compassion rise to the shine of the refiners edge for the next soul in the crucible.
The children had a wonderful time of play. I went out to supper with another friend on Saturday evening, then I went shopping alone and enjoyed the dreaming and imaginations of beauty.
I am allowing myself some desires of though and idea for the future. I am grasping at things to look forward to while this season is taking such great effort to accomplish. May the buyer be prepared. May my faith not halt or falter. May I have no misgivings in this battle for freedom is the goal. I am so sorry for the many faults and failings I have been experiencing. All I can do is trust that I am growing up. Growing free from snags and hindrances.

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

Blog Archive

By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

Click here for all crafts

e patterns My sister told me of this site

Please pray for her parents and family

Please pray for her parents and family
Amy has clicked her heals and flown to her real home. There is no place like home.

This was given to me for the third time in just a few weeks.

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
"For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."

Thank You Ross

Getting to know Me

What warm hearts you all offer

Thank you all for the kindness you have shown me with every Award. I am embraced. You Are a blessing.

Thank you Michelle

Thank you Michelle

Thank you Annette they are beautiful
Thank You Annette
Autism Awareness