We have shut down the garden and the chicken coop

Today was a huge milestone for me. We let go of our chickens and our bunnies. Tomorrow folks from a rescue are going to receive all my cages and hen house. I will be dismantling my gardens and passing on the goods to others.
I have accepted that gardening and hens and rabbits in the yard are now a season that must pass. I have peace about it. I cried a bit but the most amazing thing occurred
The man and his son who came to get the hens and the rabbits were wonderful folks. We all even prayed together at the end of the thing. He prayed for my health and for our family.
I loved my garden and now pass along all the gain of the hard work I once put into it all. The fellow even thanked me for all the hard work I had done.
It was beautiful
Tomorrow afternoon the other folks come to clear out a many good things.
I think I will try to sell my fence panels and a few other things.
I have peace knowing the animals are fed and watered and in no way neglected. It has been a real burden and a bit of condemnation knowing that they deserved better than I could do for them.
My children even have a peace that has rid them of the anger and sorrow of letting the critters go.

I accept that the seasons of my life have changed. I in no way give up or give in to illness. I give over to the abilities I have and choose not to overwhelm myself any further.

It is really pretty cool.
What a weight off knowing that all those tasks are no longer weighing upon my limited energies. More of me to do other things more restfully.

It was a terribly hard night for me last night. To tell ya true I feel a bit lost letting go of my garden and hens bunnies and all. It was as if I was disappearing and I was gone sorta. Like where am I now?
I got up in the night and my sweet husband insisted on hearing me out so I could process. We base our sense of self in what we do or are known for. I feel absent now. Me no longer the gardener the woman who all the kids loved to come and feed the hens gather an egg or pet the bunnies.
I gave my prized gardening veggie notebook away that contained so many years research and study at gardening at 1200 ft above sea level.
The Bee Bliss garden is no more.
The mornings no longer ring with hens begging fodder
Now the bark the rabbits tore off the trees reminds me only of dieing trees

I have said a million times to others...nature arbores a vacuum

I spoke of a hole in my heart. A vacant place. My children spent the day with my ivig nurse playing with her children. I went and had a mani pedi wore my mask and sunglasses and cried during the pedi. Spoke very little did not want to speak of it all
I awoke to my nurse and telling her of the transition and she is so startled it is all gone.

My daughter is staying the night with her, my son is home we had to get his stitch removed. I stayed home alone. I watched a movie about a healer and how she spent her life giving life to others.

I remember that God once told me He has a purpose for me.
I hope that propose fills this hole. knowing Him It will.
Just no fun walking around with this gaping hole in my sense of self.