Mariage Monday:

 Husbands love your wives, likewise wives honor your husbands sums it up.

It is the OFFICE of husband/wife we are to submit too not the person. Those offices hold high duty and due diligence to responsibility.

When a husband loves as we ought be loved,
 submission that is religiously or legalistically based has NO place in a holy union.

Love as defined in deferring to one another becomes rule without those sharp edges and corners.
We are covered under his LOVE, submitted to HIS protective kindness.  A loving man will want all of the beauty and strength a righteous wife has to offer. He desires her empowerment as his helpmate. When a 'man' is unrighteous this then can become a tool to harm he wants some slave, or subjective subservient girl.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

A husband must be worthy of respect to obtain it. To me the command to the husband is, to be respectable. 

It is far more desirable to live able to respect our mates, it is then that deferring to them is compelled through trusting in them.

Please join us for Marriage Monday on Feb. 20, 2012. Here's your chance to tell us what you’ve learned about submission in Christian marriage.

I know that for some women, this is a particularly challenging topic. If you're uncomfortable with this one, no worries. Feel free to take a pass this time around.

However, if you’re ready to dive right in—but stumped as to how to begin—you might consider selecting one of the following writing prompts.

1. Define the Greek word for submission, "hupotasso" [hoop-ot-as-so].
2. Tell us a story. Show how your submissive attitude blessed your husband on a specific occasion.
3. Expound this biblical passage: Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. Discuss what the Bible has to say about submission outside of marriage e.g. to bosses, political leaders, and other authorities.

Or, you can cover this topic from whatever angle the Spirit leads.

See you at Chrysalis on Monday!

Blessings,

e-Mom ღ
http://chrysaliscafe.com

Marriage Monday

Good morning

Once again a dear Lady asks for our hearts and minds toward topic. 

Come join us today as our topic is Faith in our marriage

It is good and a sweet thing to experience trials with a man who loves God. In New love it is that infatuation covers all it flows over faults found within each one of us. It is the faith of that union to love through the hard times. Those times when health effects our personalities and responses. Aging has its infatuations of Character. Memories of the heart of who we each are.

For us this is faith. Believing the best in one another. Trusting that God is more in love with your spouse than you are. He is for Him/Her is such a way that can empower. Seeing shadows of the strength of a man begin to change. No longer that 'new' marriage. Watching bodies begin to change. Although very young in this process ourselves it is a time of faith.

Twenty nine years days watch months pass into years. Faith gives them spice. A savor. When nurtured or even if a bit neglected faith pulls loose ends tough. Tying cords that bind us in each of the memories of days when needs, even wants were met. Months when presence of 'the divine' unmistakeably  apparent. Years of honing by trial, sharpened by wit and humor. Faith is the evidence of what is hoped for the development of trust in it's many stages. Character enough to know that when something is not right that your hearts 'for' each other must fight through those thing that hinder or hurt. Even if it is frightening to face, even it it is misunderstood and hurts others. Faith tells love to act knowing that the fallout is out of our hands. It is faith that hopes that honesty and rigorous love will prevail around us/within us.

Faith tells trust that eyes open character is there. Health can mask our action, thoughts and even behaviors.

Faith asks God for a glimpse of understanding. 

Many things will be faced through life. We are all temporal beings. 

When my husband began to respond unlike himself health showed signs. Hypothyroidism was for him a culprit. For me illness took over our marriage for years. Battles faced of mind, body and spirit will be there in each life. Faith sees them through. Believing in those things hoped for. Being 'FOR' each other takes more faith than you will ever have. It takes trust in the one who loves our mate more than we do. 

Faith is remembering the experience strength and hope that a life time together has proven out. It lifts those difficult times spices up the days into humor of the frailty of us all. It is the fallout when challenging the status qua. Loving others so much that misunderstands resolve over time. 

It is knowing that it will all work out even when things may seam hopeless. Hold on for the ride faith is an exercise. Trusting that the both of you can make it all work out 'when' you believe the best of the other. When your life is lived 'for' each other and not against. Caring about the other as well as self. It is not in caring for our individual need that we become self centered. It is good and imperative to mind your own heart and needs. When 'two become one' we care for the whole when we tent to our own heart. This is the honing to do so with mutual needs in mind. Challenging is faith in acting, giving place for HOPE. Then hope sees the fruit of lives matured together.

It takes two to make it so. It take one to act at times to overcome the others weakness and to build up the whole. We take turns at that day by month by years gone by. Acting on LOVE, building Faith through hope. We have a wonderful future together, no matter the challenges that come our way to hone us.

Please join us once again for Marriage Monday on May 2, 2011. Our group topic this time is “faith.” How does your Christian faith express itself between you and your spouse? Do you pray together? Or discuss theology? Do you lead or attend a couples Bible study? Perhaps you’re spiritually unequal, yet you're thriving nonetheless. Feel free to share any aspect of your spiritual journey with us, dear sister.

I’m looking forward to meeting you back here at Chrysalis on Monday.

See you very soon!

Blessings,

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

http://chrysaliscafe.com

Married 29 years, our date in three parts

This a table scape on my dinning table

 We had a wonderful anniversary on Sunday. 

I was off count thinking it was our 30th silly me.

We were able to have three small dates during the day.

On the first one Steve and I left the kids alone for an hour and went out to lunch at Pei Wei my favorite. We walked down two doors to a fancy grocery store and there was an elder fellow playing an electric guitar. We sat and listened until a man came out with a bouquet of flowers that had the sunflower and orchid above. I was so enthralled with them. I told Steve so and asked for some (one of the perks of being best friends). We don't need to play games leading to hurt feelings over unmet expectations. I still remember laying that down. What freedom

The sunflower is of a meaning... Pride 

  

 the orchid meaning is...thoughts 

coreopis...meaning Always cheerful,Love at first sight...

We came home with subway for the kids, they ate and the next little date began when my dear friend came with her daughter for 3 hours or so. We went to the movies and watched the Kings Speech. It was riveting.

Afterward we stopped for a decadent Starbucks coffee.

We returned home again to relieve our friend. Our sweet neighbor across the street came. Soon the third part of our date began. We left and stopped at a Taco Bell for an inexpensive light supper. We drove to a wonderful little known bird sanctuary and walked in the moon light. We married the first day of spring so the moon this year was amazing. The brightest closest moon that will be for many years to come. We walked under it. As if it were day we were well lit on the darkened path. We returned home to Kids asleep and all being well at 10pm. Oh what a refreshing day. The kids were not left long at a time. It really worked out nicely.

Now in a year it will be our 30th wedding anniversary.

Marriage Monday

~Trust~

Love never fails

"I am for you and never against you.

I am your friend"

He trusts in, confidently relies on her all of the days of his life.

I have known this love. I am living this trust. Yes even give this confidence and received it.

Trust is something earned, not simply given freely. Trust does not mean that mistakes or tragedy never happens. Trust is gained in small steps over time. It is that only God can ever be blindly trusted, that is in an instant. Even so for many God can seem untrustworthy if self expressed expectation exists. God has different ideas than we often do. We can know however, whatever the difficulty

that God is for us and not against us.

Trust in marriage is that, knowing that the each is FOR and never against the other. This dear hearts is earned. Time after time proven out. In early marriage trust is risked in intimacy, sharing history, sharing of true deep feelings for the first time. The giving of ones whole being body soul and spirit over to another. Unfortunately this step is ofter acted out upon before wed lock. The wound of the broken trust can damage lives for ever. Break ups in courtship is wrecked when the real gain could be knowing who we are and what we may or may not desire in a marriage (a lifelong mate).

Confidence is the trust gained at this risk. Can I believe that he/she will hold a confidence or blab it all over. Many loose trust early here finding an ill placed humor or slip of the tong. An argument that humiliates. Such things pose great cost in the currency of trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

This was actually the very first scripture I ever memorized. Now Marriage is like this. Many times it is so hard to understand the actions of the other. It is the motive that is in question. If we have risked and gained it is that the other has earned enough trust that even if we do not understand...we know they are for us.

 1983 BIKE TRIP TOGETHER. 

THAT IS 'OLD BLUE' OUR TRUCK STEVE BUILT THAT THING UP FROM FRAME. OH THOSE OLD GREASY SOCKS  ;0

Once we learn each others life stories we can gain a mind of "it's no wonder they respond that way". The goal then is in being for each other. The trust is healing, empowering. We become safe with each other. We are enriched to understand more clearly a since of who we are. We belong to each other. With a mutual mission a goal we begin to accomplish a life together. That is the marriage where the two become one. In body soul (mind) and spirit. It is most often in the mind we differ. However in some marriage trust is broken in the ways of the body. Adultery, or ridicule even in withholding. Others change of minds are an issue of trust. Refusing to let the other think for themselves. It is a wonderful thing to empower each other to think things through. 

It is however in the SPIRIT that one ship is most critical. If that is in power in place then it is no longer a trust just through two, but it becomes three strand.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

Married 29 years March 20th

In marriage often trying to figure out what the other one was thinking is the challenge. The catalyst to argument. Trust earned takes the time to try and figure it out through discussion. Attack is not necessary or even an option. That will always be a choice. If we are for each other no need to attack we protect innately. Argument than can reasonably occur at a difference of opinion. It is those arguments that are based in misunderstanding that so often break a bond, a cord of connection. Fighting over some thing that is assumed or taken as harm in act or thought toward the other spouse.

The vows of marriage is all about being

FOR EACH OTHER NEVER AGAINST EACH OTHER

This is the core of trust.

This is the confidence built.

This is the cord that can hold a marriage through friendship, intimacy and reliability.

Oh that cord will be pulled upon I assure you.

It is critical that trust never be broken it is a terrible thing to try to restore. However if trust has been kept, if risk has reward things be ever so much easier to forgive. Even in everything we be for each other we all can error. We all can sin and do sin. It is in the risk of trust. If trust ever be broken beyond repair...it is then that the wound can soul kill. Soul (the mind) can often be restored but it is a terrible torment to the one called upon to forgive. I have witnessed this in many unions over the years. 

Trust...in and confidently rely upon

Be that mate that pays off the risk placed upon you.

Be trustworthy.

The key to a marriage built on trust.

hot Buttons in Marriage

Hello precious Sister,

Some time ago, many of you answered the survey question on this post, "What's the Biggest Problem or Frustration in Your Marriage?" Your valuable feedback in the comment box—and by email—revealed a number of areas or "hot buttons" that married couples find particularly challenging.

And I have not forgotten. So for the next umteen months, we're going to be covering the subject matter as a group. I'll throw out a single word like trust, money, or communication and that will be our topic, OK? You can title your post however you like.

Our Topic for March is "Trust"

Please accept my invitation to join us for Marriage Monday on March 7, 2011. Our group topic is trust.

As always, you have all the freedom you need to cover the subject matter in whatever way you want. You can post prose, a bulleted list, a video, a slideshow, a poem, or a song—whatever the Spirit leads you to share with us. You're the expert, and we're counting on you to teach us a few new things to apply to our own marriages.

Sisters, let's roll!

Blessings,

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

http://chrysaliscafe.com

http://facebook.com/ChrysalisCafe

The language of Love

What did you receive for valentines day? What about your anniversary? Your birthday?
How do you know that you are loved? Is it in what you are given? Words that have been spoken?
Perhaps a helping hand when in need.

Each person is gifted with a personal language how love is expressed.

There was once a tower built to the sky.
I suppose we all would love to once again assume we understand each other. All but that is not the case. One woman gets flowers another chocolates. One a card another a few blocks moved. A cpap machine cleaned and filled with water every night.
A man is measured by the roses he gives how terrible a verdict for those who speak love in a different way. A woman may say he does not care for she received none as her friend spouts the pride of a dozen.
We are all messed up in this tower to the sky, now the fall out of love misunderstood rocks marriages all around the country. Roses from those who speak such things are divine. Roses when spoken though words or acted though deeds smell non the sweeter.

Listen to the hearts of lovers for each has a voice all their own.

Christmas Eve Day

 Our little family has been busy with the pleasures of time together. So many activities here at home and out and about. Mostly here however. The kids had an early start on the 24th and caught two sleepy parents off guard and unprepared. the two presents they chose to open were opened in the morning. Normally it is an evening event. We realized that the day long would give more time to enjoy. It is so set that rules of Christmas are never modified. It is a challenging thing for me to be flexible. My husband is teaching me these things at times with some consternation.

 Unfortunately Dash opened a package that I somehow forgot to write no on. It was the case to his big gift. We saved up and were able to give each kid one big gift. His is a DSI. Well now he was so upset and we all had a bit of a melt down. I feeling that my error by not getting a 'no' on the right package, it took a while to let go of the idea I spoiled Christmas excitement. A good perspective is he was very excited for the morning. :)

 Here he is dragging the dog across the floor, the dog was loving it.

 Well Christmas eve means Lamb for me. Some traditions were really challenged and reconsidered this year. My lamb was not one of them. I thought to us a rub on the pan and roll it in it.

 We were blessed to get a leg a $48. leg for $21. It was so good.

However I must get it in the freezer for I am the only one who enjoys it.

I may not do this tradition next year.

Steve and I had our evening communion and well into the midnight hours before our hearts and minds were ready. We spoke out all within us. Talked of all and or any ought we had against each other as we admitted our sin and fault to God and each other. This was a great time of healing and restoration in our friendship. It was very cathartic and yet courageously difficult to walk through. When a family is young as in the kids, it is so easy to neglect each others hearts. It is far too easy to leave things unsaid and misunderstood.  We were so open and transparent with each other. Our ties strengthened and secured. Our love deeply knit.

Then and only then we were ready to join each other in one spirit and had our time of communion together. We fell asleep sound and slept peacefully.

It was a wonderful Christmas eve.

Marriage Monday

My own personal tradition is to have a roasted leg of lamb in the oven and the pungent smell of lamb is a focal aroma of what we are doing. We are remembering the birth of a life that changed all time. 

The Lamb of God. 

No more is the Lamb a sacrifice it is a sweet fragrance. As it goes into the second phase of roasting when the rosemary and the curry meld into the pungency turned intoxicating and the joy begins. We often just nibble on the lamb informally with other raw veggies, salads and mint jelly. Relaxed and the kids run freely and gleefully unabashed in an utter abandoned child like freedom. Chattering getting all the props set. Steve tends to the camera.

We will often drive to go see the lights. Candy canes and treats with drinks in car.

Warm coats too.

On Christmas eve we all do a play every year we have done the Bethlehem journey. We watched them all year by year as the kids grow and develop into  members of the cast.

The Story is narrated by the Daddy Man and silliness and joy abound. He errors in telling it on purpose and the kids with glee correct him. They knew every word.

The children traditionally have one gift to open, we thank the Lord together for the greatest gift.  We serve cocoa and watch the play on the television.

He reads them to sleep as I decorate the birthday cake (Jesus bday). They know it is not the exact day yet do we acknowledge his birth. We will have cake for breakfast on Christmas morning then we are all off to search out the child. Hidden the babe from the creche. I am told not to hide it in the chicken coop this year ")

 Once the kids are asleep it is our time.

My Love is a love that is centered in our mutual bond that is three fold. On Christmas Eve after the children are in bed and the gifts under the tree. A pot of tea and a few moments of getting all set for the early dawn. Showers taken we then meet up for our tradition of some 28 years. 

Steve prepares the bread. I the cup and together we come and sit awhile in prayer. Quietly each and then as one we go before our maker. It is the gift of humility to begin the best of gifts of all. We clear the slate with God. He is so good to forgive us. We forgive all we have ought against as well. Clean hands pure heart.

As we sit together he breaks the bread and with the Bible in hand reads the passage we together take the bread in communion. Together..we gather together and do this thing, then he pours the cup. Reading the passage we sip in our remembrance of whose we are and the forgiveness offered to us.

We start afresh.

We hold each other and in the stillness of the lit tree and the taste of the grape upon our lip we kiss and look into each others eyes. Sitting there we just rest awhile in the stillness. 

As the sleep draws us to pillow we turn off the tree and retire.

We are sure to need no clock to awaken.

Coffee is just a push of a button, and the day is off!

We have a party! 

Cake and the hunt. Then after the babe is in his manger we sit down to have our gift exchange. Soon the Grandparents come and I run in from the kitchen not to miss the opening of the packages. The kids play and the others visit while I finish the meal to serve. With the table set the eve before. 

As Much as I love to serve and go all out for a wonderful meal and all slowing is in order. 

This year with the meal I must pace myself for it is now that my health will slow this bird a bit. My wings have been clipped. Not so big a splash of food. It will be more simple as to not miss out on anymore of our childrens youth while going overboard cooking, cleaning and fretting over every detail.  If it is relaxed it will be done. Or it will not be stressed out over.  It will be peaceful like Thanksgiving.

We will celebrate as we are as much as reasonably able to do without running our-self ragged. It is a new year for us. Thanksgiving taught us so well to make it about the living. Not the food, and pretense. Too many a woman smiles through those exhausting mornings missing out on Christmas day and the reward of offering all they do.

After sup the old folk sit around and the kids play. Day gets done and the house grows quiet. We will go drive to see the lights. The kids play with the new toys. 

There are the friends welcome to stop by, the neighbors who drop off cookies. 

The dogs chew on the big bones they get every year.

Normally I just about pass out tired, this year we intend to keep our Christmas relaxed and centered around family friends and all things living.


Join us over here

Seeking Your Submission

Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Dear Sister,

With Thanksgiving behind us, and the Christmas holidays still ahead, let’s take a few minutes to gather once again for our monthly fellowship. Hot spiced cider is simmering on my stove, and I’m wondering what's cooking in your kitchen …

Romantically, that is!

Joy for Two at Christmas
This month our topic is “Joy for Two at Christmas.” Please join us for Marriage Monday on Dec. 6, 2010. This topic should be fun and easy. We will break for January and resume our fellowship on Monday Feb. 7, 2011. I'll have some brand new topics for 2011 to share with you then!
So how do you do it? How do you keep romance alive during one of the busiest times of year? The following title options give you the opportunity to share your wisdom and advice with us, dear sister. (Note: Number four is a wild card; feel free to make up your own.)
Select one title, and let the Spirit lead you where He wants you to go.

1. Our Private Christmas Traditions
2. Advent Scriptures to Savor Together
3. 12 Gifts Men Love that Don’t Cost a Cent
4. Your-Title-Goes-Here

Tackle it Tuesday *Yard care goal*

 Perhaps your wondering where I have been of late. Well with the break in the weather I got the rye winter grass established and mowed for the first time this weekend. The  annuals are in in the arbor bed.

 The next goal will be that awful grave bed along the sidewalk. We do not use poison if it is avoidable. The dogs eat at the grass here so it will be pulled up out and turned into a grass to the edge of the walk. It will be so nice to be able to have a level foot fall under the clothes line.

 The flower seeds have germinated being watered two times a day. See a few here and there. The heat came back the last few days and is a real challenge. It has been up to 90* this week a few times. Lows in the 50's to 60's.

 The rocker space has been accomplished. This was a huge task that is my morning work out now for many many days on end.

 Each day the ground is shoveled into the screen and then the rocks out and over and over the screened soil accumulates and is then transferred to the front per-annual bed. This is a lot of physical work that I am accomplishing on my own! Don't even try to arm wrestle me. :) I really need to get those stones off the base of the house. I am shifting them over to the west of the walk. One day I would love to put a blue berry bush there. Well I do have to come to terms with some physical limitations at hand now.

 This morning my focus was this 3 foot section. Working until the shade gone. This is on the west side of the estate. I am so excited to finish this mess! All of the gravel was that I hauled and screened out of that arbor bed last year. Inch by foot by shovel full. Some goals are just long term. This is a gym of sorts, no need to pay a membership fee. I must learn to pace myself so I forced myself to stop at a section a day. If I am not too tired.

 The screened earth is nice. It will serve well for the bed out front. Some will be left poor soil on purpose. Other will be amended with mulch for those lovers of such. Each flower a jewel of its own.

 Now the junk is gone, a weekend job with a free add on Craig's list. The old compost bins were tossed last weekend. The city had some big trash haulers out at the entry and we took advantage of it.

 Now where those rockers are it was two feet high last month! This is our little quiet place away from the kids where we can watch the stars and talk over the day. I love this place and one day the flowers will come up. It is also my morning bible study spot. A nice little half wall would be ideal to screen the trash cans. One day...
All this work was to fulfill a goal for my husband and I to have a little romantic corner just for us. Where we could see the stars. Watch the flowers. And enjoy each other. Some goals take a lot of hard work. Living in one place long enough to create all of these aspirations is my hope for years to come.

This is where all that screened dirt is going.

The Iris are in as are the Hollyhocks.

Half the bed is full and the earth turned 12 inches under. This has been a BIG job as well.

Steve threw the pick for me so soon I will break up the other half and fill it in.

This is where we took out the palm tree. 

The Poppy is around 2 inches high now.

Marriage Monday

  How We Survived Our Marriage Crisis    "Have a great day and don't let her push you around.  Your powerful, trust me!"  

Today I received this e-mail from my husband.(I had a medical phone call to make) 

He sees me as I see him. We see each other for who we really are.We know what we are made of.We have picked up each others broken clay so many many times over our 29 year plus marriage.There have been small crises that just crack the bisque (un-fired clay) we are made of.Those times when the clay even explodes from the pressure of the air pockets missed as our character is being pounded out.Each of us have even exploded in the kiln, that fiery melting of all the glaze. Those things painted in hopes to offer our lives color after the heat of the moment.Layers upon layers until the patina is one only acquired by age and experience.
We trusted the one who fires each vessel HE turns (on the wheel of life). That circle of days, formed years now decades. He turns turns turns us around until we come to the place just right.Humility. When the clay mis-forms in the turning it is wedged out (pounded to get all the air out),then trown back on the wheel for another try. As our marriage has aged we have so often found beauty even in each others brokenness that the shelf we live on provides a nice display of skill attained over our lives.Where one is cracked the other covers it in love. Where broken the other stands beside holding and gluing the pieces back together.
We both know that humanity is little more than clay to refine and form into destiny intended for our lives. We respect the cracks, they are as hard gained as the gray hairs on our heads.
When we loose sight of who we are or who we have become the other takes a good tub of suds and tips the partner in with truth to wash out and off all the dust and muck that gets acquires.
We believe the best in each other.In the intimacy we see the true beauty of the master piece.Our EYES view the world differently.We see each other from a far better vantage.
We Trust what the other sees is the truth. For in truth was built the foundation of our unity.Sometimes it is so easy when tired or full of muck or dust in our own self.We just get too complacent to have a go at challenging sin. That does not last for too long however. We just love seeing each other all shiney and clean.

I trust Him as He trust me....For her husband trust in her for good and not harm all the days of his life.

When life gets tough...

Well it is an amazing thing when the tough get going. We had a wonderful service last Sunday despite the ear cracking volume of the service, no joke. There was an Epiphany for my darlin' and I. The Pastures story went like this...

He was in his car with a growing teenage boy who could eat his house his appetite was so intense. Not uncommon for the age spurt that gives them inches a day on their height. So every hour practically the child was STARVING! So Dad (the Pasture) pulls into a McD. to get the boy some (2) burger meals.

The father (pasture) reaches over for a french fry and the boy clutches the lunch and declares MINE!

Now the father could still of gotten the boy more if needed not a big deal understanding the calorie demand of the boy, yet the boy clutched to it as if it were HIS!

Like we do with our pile. Everyone has a pile called MINE> We do all we can to hold onto it. We figure it is up to us to maintain and micro manage it. MINE! my house,car, life.

Ya, but whose is it really? Who has the power over the elements really? Who is it that holds all of our PILES together and is responsible for it? This is where the choice comes in.

I can KEEP my pile and have all the burden of it or I can entrust God with it. This the epiphany that it is GOD who we will give charge over our pile. Everything we own is his. Every breadth. Not out of fear but out of release. Who really wants the stress and anxiety of clutching onto all with white knuckle desperation. Wondering where every dime and every need is going to come from.

Lately every time I turn around a dime and a penny appear. A whimsical game God and I have played for a good 20+ years. We have given our lives to Christ but have we ever given him our pile. A long time ago I lived in fear that the pile would be taken away. We had a differing belief between us in our finance over the tithe. The DREADED TITHE...so finally trusting I let go and kept an attitude of generosity for years. I came about after years of this fear that the pile would be taken for the lack of the practice of the tithe that I became fearful so much so that white knuckled I changed. ME! the girl with the trunk full of clothes and things we no longer needed and every visit to a friend to the trunk they were taken and we saw the amazing provisions shared and there was never a lack. There is still never a lack.

8 years ago we went down 2/3's in income at the same time adopting our second international adoption. A very scary time for we had began the adoption as the plant that Steve worked at shut down and he was not absorbed a 27 year career gone.  Low man on the pole he began again. It was then that the trunk dried up. " better hold onto the things for never know I may just need them." The pile grew. Stagnant oppressively grew. We began a budget a year or so ago. We became out of debt. WE DID IT  har har...Who? OH WE>>> Who? who? made us able when bills hit unexpectedly? Who?

Our intentions blessed and efforts made yes. For the first time this message has changed hearts so...hands open we are now budgeted for the tithe just as the house payment or utility a priority.
Somehow all the slack in the budget will be covered I know this from a life time of seeing the measure met. The jar of oil never dry or flour pot never empty.

OH THE Peace! of this being out of recognizing that we no longer control but have given control over our pile to God. We will continue to do due diligence. From there?   It will be so fun to see how it will all come around and the pile will balance out to a blessing and not a big old oppressive mess to deal with. I am so happy, so proud of the unity that is now provided on this topic in our marriage and it being out of release and not fear.The leader leading. Put a fire under me that warms me to get a few things sold on Creigs list and clear out some of this accumulation. A warmth to bake bread and set menu, to cut out the fat of the excess.

Oh youth we were once so young

30 years later

Marriage Monday, open topic

Want this button?




  Dreams Longing Hopes Desires
It is said that hope deferred makes the heart sick.Within our hearts are the seeds of our journeyAll on a path.Dreams marking the trails head, mapping the way.Those longings so embedded within the very fibers of our being.Desires wanting and waiting feelings left unfulfilled.
In our marriage we met with a fulfillment of parenthood after 16 years.A son at 20 years marriage.
Before that a life time of wanting...wanting a Man that loved God and a home of my own.
Desires of a wife to share His life with.A forever friendship in love and marriage. The desire to stand aside another to watch them grow.Hoping for them the very best they can become.  Longing for travel within the heart of my man.Thinking at times that if he could just be content...It is that very same discontentment, well it was that waiting then letting go. Painfully accepting that either the desire would be removed or trusting that it might be fulfilled. Knowing that whatever the case I had to trust. Now I wait and trust and hope for my husband as I did for my dreams.When I was longing hoping desiring Dreaming of Motherhood.
Hope deferred can make the heart sick.It can also heal it.Years of waiting then receiving what I had longed for was a real eye opener.If I would of received what I wanted in my timing well wonder the harm of being ill equipped to manage it? One day this life long desire to travel will be fulfilled.My husbands dreams, a reality for it is true that God Gives us the desires of our heart. In a different way than is interpreted by many.
It is the dream, the longing, desiring holding on to that hope...That very act is what causes us to be prepared to receive it in a state of maturity.It is that desire in itself that so beautifully forms us.Then we can truly receive it to our benefit and not to our harm. He sets us on a course that thumps hard in our chest.It is not only that in the state of contentment that the peace is to be found.Contentment never ought mean to let go of the hope that God has placed within us.Being content is to trust in his time and that He has Us in His best interest. Our Dreams ...are best lived in HIS time.
As a wife it is my heart to never remove my husbands dreams, but to support him in the contentment that removes the suffering while the hope is deferred. That support that might help him to never give up but to give over into Gods perfect way and timing.I know then  it will be more than wonderful.As with motherhood, much is required when much is given Never let the fear of disability or being hindered remove the dream.Don't let your dreams just be dreams, let them mark your trail.Then follow it(acting them out within your heart as if...) He is your guide.Mapping your life along it's way. Then if that day come if we have traveled the path well. We might see through HIS eyes what He intended for us all along

He gave me a Marriage

" All I wanted was a man that loved God and a home of my own", I cried.

A place to be safe, to learn who I am.
A place to belong and to grow and help another the same.

A mission to gain through mutual growth and sacrifice. 

Now seeing 28 years to the day I said yes that God heard me.

God answered my call.

For two weeks later set to wed a man who had asked the same of Him.

He said "all I want is a wife, a woman to love, a place to be safe, a woman to belong.

One who would accept me and mutually grow into life for all of our years".

He married us only a month into our meeting. 

Although this man saw me a thousand pews aside. 

Watching weekly for a chance to say hello.

It was God who set time into HIS plan.

Now some 28 years later we roll over asleep and clasp each others hand.

Our toes touch under the covers and night by night 365 times 28.

We raise two wonderful children not bone of our bone.
They have grown under our hearts. 

"A Man that Loved God not a religious man" was my plea.

With mercy my dear precious Lord heard and supplied this for me.

Religion has stumbled us throughout the years here and there.

Those zealous new years when emotion was high and passion ran wild.

Mellowed us into friendship with our God and each other.

He loves God just like I had asked for.

I tried to belong in so many a congregation, yet I always did, to our Lord and our God.

This man who loved God was so patient and pulled me into "being".
Setting the generational familial and religious "doing" aside.

He freed me in so many ways.
Yet I have drawn him like honey to friendship
a vibrant place to live and abide.

Now many a year later, battles struggles trials aside.

I am  treasured as his ageless bride.

He is still handsome, I have always love that sparkle when he looks into my eyes.

Reflecting to me how perhaps God sees me through my darlings eyes.

A wonderful Anniversary to you my Beloved Husband and Friend.

Valentines Everyday

Get your thinking caps on.

Join us here

February's topic , "How to Celebrate February 14 Every Day of the Year."

I'm really looking forward to Marriage Monday on February 1, 2010. 

See you then.

Kindness Be the Rule of our Hearts

Do you love your wife? For her and for your children are you laying down your life.

What about the others? Are you living as a servant to your Sisters and you Brothers? Do you make the poor man beg you for a bone?

Do the widow and the Orphan cry alone?

How do we celebrate Valentine's day?

By honoring the memory of he who honored the law of kindness so many years ago.

Years after the greatest example of them all.

Hebrews 10:8 (English Standard Version)

 ⁸When he said above, "You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings" (these are offered according to the law),

If you really love me you would have remembered.

What sacrifice ( kind of gift) did he give you?

"you got a ring!"

Just what was the measure of love he has for you?

It is an industry gone wild.

A sacrifice to the law of show.

As a young bride it was so painful a thing if my husband forgot to get me a valentines gift of flower or trinket. Chocolate or gift. It was society that taught me that if he really loved me he would remember me.

As a bride of 27 years oh the stories I could tell of hurt feeling...but deeper yet the wounds of a man who often forgot. He fled to find something to give, nothing was of measure. Nothing could express in trinket the great love he has for me. Often after of scurrying about exhausted and weeping he would hand to me a simple card. OH! but within that card was his heart. Nothing wrought by the LAW of society. Within that card would be HIS HEART in words. 

He would weep for nothing could be bought to measure his love toward me. It was an affront to pretend to be able to do so. This a man who is free of pretense with me. A man like so many others who are forced to play a game that is set by the LAW.

"if he really loved me!!!!!"

Oh is that the way you truly desire to measure it?

Each morning at 6 a.m. from under a warm cover my vessel is raised up unless I am too ill to do so and a simple meat and cheese sandwich is prepared. My love shod his feet for the days work ahead.

Embraced as he tends his physical needs and prepares to exit for the day. Darkness yet covers the earth. He daily tends to the needs of wife, children and home...diamonds, rubies and all treasured jewels for me.

My heart is tender toward him for his heart is tender toward the needy. One in need if only near our hearts...roses, sweets and trinkets. Their car is broken, a faucet fixed, a part to make. Help me please and he is there. Daddy can you come and he is there...travel soft pillows and holidays.  All these thing would he give if he could.

Then to leave a man guilty for disregarding a LAW set to worship LOVE. May he be one who while worshiping God in action and in deed LOVES. 

For it is to LOVE AS GOD FIRST LOVED US that the spirit of Valentine can be found.

Do you love your husband? For he and for your children are you laying down your life.

What about the others? Are you living as a servant to your Sisters and you Brothers? Do you make the poor man beg you for a bone?

Do the widow and the Orphan cry alone?

May we bring LOVE to those who we long to live in freedom with.

Romance is titillating but LOVE is a lasting long embrace.

^{Hebrew 10:16} "This is the covenant that I will make with them
   after those days, declares the Lord:
I will put my laws on their hearts,
   and write them on their minds,"

So what ever you do that it would be of the heart not of the letter of the law.

Be it written on our hearts and within our minds to LOVE moment by moment.

Not only when big business tells us to do so.

When through the peer pressure of others, following the letter of the law, condemn and use it against each other if/when we do not join in.

If he (she ) loves you you will celebrate the SPIRIT of Valentines every moment of your life.
Now if you get a little something just think of it as a bit of icing on the cake.

 

Friday night We went to a high School play of The Wizard of Oz

Daddy man bought each of us girls a rose.

Oh if you could of witnessed that little Dove's eyes so wide.

That is my sweet potato starter in the mason jar.






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