baking bread and the unexpected

We all went to the library.
well on the way home our neighbor who is first generation German (her mother suffered the German invasion of troops) witnessing many horrible things. Well her husband was selling a stationary bike. We thought hard on it and prayed over it being the provision I had asked about just the night before.
Two years 1 1/2 years ago or so I was supposed to begin on the bike every day to keep what is left of my joint intact as long as I can to stem off the knee replacement surgery as long as we can.
I tride an old bike of the folks but it had no resistance. I tried my regular bike , but my balence is very shaky getting on and off is hard with a knee that is untrustworthy.
I have been in a fix that I have neglected for far, far too long.
When I saw this, I knew I needed to take advantage, but the experience on top of the tires and auto repairs was taxing my mind.

Well I ground a bunch of Hard winter wheat and made up a 2 pound loaf of whole wheat bread.
The bread machine failed me , it did everything but bake it!
So I put it in the oven and baked it up.

It turned out much like a loaf from a restaurant.
Not a sliced texture but a break bread loaf.
It tasted good but lacked the texture I had hoped for.
I used some gluten but I think that the problem was either the type of yeast or perhaps I did not get the water temp right. Unless I was suppose to pre heat the machine?

All I have need of his hand has provided.
This is in new condition, very little use if any.
Purchased at a very reasonable low price. Our research shows us that it is the best one for the price range. We got it at less than half price of a new one.
We are able to get it and use the rest of the funds for the truck.

It is important now that I make use of this several times a day.
I used it for 20 minutes and my knee feels so much better already!
The synvisk (artificial fluid) in my joint feels more evenly spread around.
I felt so angry to use our means on it, but I am glad that I have done so.
Mr. U . is delighted to hear of the relief of discomfort upon even the first use.
You see I can not walk for exercise. I have no cartilidge in my right knee (or very little left).
I rubs bone on bone. Walking breaks down what I do have left. I have to make it last as long as I can. It is our hopes to put off the knee replacement for another 8 years if possible. Or at least another 3, untill I am 50 years of age. Artificial knees are only good for 20 years or so. We do not want to have to do this twice on the same knee.
My sister and brother both had new knees in the last half of 2008. Another sibling is awaiting a new knee and the other brother is in need of a knee and a spinal surgery.
Some say they think it is congenital, I think you beat a body enough it will have an effect on it.
Most of the surgery I have had to have is from being beaten and tortured as a youth (see other blog). I have the testing for the brain lesions week after next. They too were cause by beatings about the head as a kid. Now the scares of the "shaken head trauma" are calcifying.
Anyway I have a way to love the Lord with my strength now :)
I can exercise.

Saturday Starters

Good Morning
I hope all of you slept well.
I stayed up reading blogs last night. There were some wonderful blogs, and then I fell upon a marvel of home schooling/homemaking back to basics blog where I so admired the content and the knowledge.
I went to bed late and found myself effected with a condemnation and discouragement that stunned me.
I saw everything that I was faltering in.
I saw the goals of this dear woman accomplished like I once had desired.

All morning I witnessed our lives and how different they are from the vision I once had.

This morning I awoke from a dream where I was helping an elderly woman set up her living room for a craft sale.
I was trying to let light in by washing a window.
The old man (her husband) would only allow me one paper towel and I was unable to do the job.
When I ran an errand to fetch my things to add to the sale a lawyer approached me. Telling me how he represented several neighbors, and if I knew what was good for me I would have nothing to do with this couple.
In my dream I was astonished for the reasoning that the elder couple was being targeted was the lack of maintenance and prestige in the lawns of the home.
It was not dirty as in a rubbish issue , just not manicured (like those neighbors).
I returned to these elders attempting to asses the value of the council given me by the lawyer.

I thought as I woke up...

The first thought was...
Why hadn't any one of those neighbors lifted a finger to help them?

The breakfast of french long loaf as batter soaked toast was prepared while my children played games that their father set up for them on the computers.
I was grieved again at the ideal that I once had.
Remembering the ideal the desire to be a homeschooling mother , I had to (choose too after a battle with God over it) let go of as an act of obedience to God.

Then I thought about a line from this blog I had read that said if I was not homeschooling to keep my children s hearts as a "religious conviction" that I might as well give it up.
You know it hurt.
I wonder how many of you have felt that way.

Beloveds take on it, is that it is not an others blog that hurt , but that the hurt came from the readers view.
It does hurt that I had to let go of a very similar ideal.
It was let go of it or risk the peace of my family, and my own sanity.

I thought about my blog and how many times I share as a driving force to keep myself going.
I wondered if ever I left any of you feeling condemnation through comparing your selves with my posts.
I do so desire to never to do that.

I thought again about what he said .
That it is the reader who receives the post and not the other way around.
I really am not sure how it goes in actuality, but I would so hope that this is a place of shared knowledge and experience.
Never one of judgments or condemnation.

I am a simple woman of clay.

Like all of you I do not share my darkest side.
I do not try real hard to hide it either.
We are all clay.
We are all full of a dross that is being refined daily bubbled up to the top to be scooped off.

Of late I have witnessed great scoops of it :)
It is my hope, and trust that it is leading to the refined.

Ideals are so alluring.

Laying them down painful.
Yet in all I know there is peace in doing so.
Our lives effect others, as others lives have effect on ours.
As Women and Mothers we have a duty to allow our husbands to lead us.
Perhaps leading us out of our ideals into a reality we do not favor.
Those are hard things in parenting.
I often cringe at the games that the Daddy man has the kids playing.
War and battle appall me, as does hunting.
He knows it.
I was once so stringent a Mother as to bind up my husbands freedoms with his own children, condemning his choices and actions.

I really miss many things about my ideal.
One of them being my own library.
It really bothers me to see the children reading things that I do not prefer.
Yet the theory on the Daddy Mans part is a reversal of rebellion.
Allowing the things we do not agree with so that we are here to converse and to remove the mystique of the ta bu or Morey around us. Our kids will understand why we do not agree or accept the messages offered. I would rather have Doves for sure. Free of the knowledge of the good and evil. Free form the lure of it. If we remove the lure by exposing it we hope to free them from the rebellion and experience of it without guidance.
Scary stuff as a parent.

He had an Uncle who was so strict as to keep the world from his children.
Many of those kids grew into a rebellion that separated them form a knowledge of the love of God.
They had to explore all they had been denied of, and in that many dangers damaged the young adult years and the lives were spent in turmoil. They had to break free of the bonds that held them.
Of age they sought to understand. they had years in the favor but lacked a balance of intelligence and common sense (a misnomer for the common of it is rare now)

A balance is our goal.
It was said, in that blog that it is for us to "Keep our children's hearts".
It is my greatest fear that I have lost mine do to the influences of the world and the impacts of the leadership in my home.
Yet at the same time it is so clear that we have kept them do to the impact of the leadership in my home. The scriptures that speak of the "gentleness of a dove...yet to be wise as the Serpent".
I would that they never lose the Dove quality but if I leave them to learn of the serpent on their own I feed them to the wolves.
I have to trust God that it is in his hands that I have placed them.
I wonder if perhaps these strange skills developed as I cringe will one day serve these kids in such a way as to save their lives, or to save the lives around them.
All around us it is clear that so many are dull to the battle that is being waged above and around us in the heavens.
Lives are targeted as are family units.
How sad it would be to be ignorant of how to fight for the souls of our families and the world at large.

Do pray for me and for each other for it is a great debate among us as to how best to serve the future generations.
Those who we owe such a great debt.
I know so many things are right and good about the knowledge that this dear lady is sharing yet when it brings condemnation it is a struggle.
Yes I have considered whether it be conviction...
My heart is open to conviction.
I also trust that Daddy Man has a heart open to it too.

There is now no condemnation for those who have been joined in a vital union to Jesus Christ by God the Father through the person and work of the Holy Spirit.

Tell me would you...?
Your take on these things.
For it is not a debate, but rather shared ideas and bases for those ideas that are of great interest to me.

Save and it will be there when you need it.

Dishes this morning.
Let me list the meals dish by dish.
In the last two days...
Leg of Lamb
steamed sweet potatoes, beans.
turkey and dumplings.
pancakes, 20 pounds of beef ground and bagged.
A 3 pound meat loaf was baked.
Apple crumble, grilled cheese, grilled turkey.
Pop corn, ground coffee.
Two pans used to bang in the new year.
Four breathing treatment mouth pieces, communion elements.
Various dishes for the dishwasher was undergoing a cleaning with a solution that must be used with an empty machine.
Plastic containers from used left overs. Cereal bowls coffee pot and so forth...
By days end I was just to tired after shopping and grinding and cooking to see to them.

You might of thought me kidding last night...
started at 10 a.m.

I was startled that at 10:45 to have them done.

I get to do it all again but each day I make three home cooked meals from scratch.
Every day! This is working for me and not another boss who had to be bowed too.
I take joy in all this hard work for it is the pleasure that is the gain in all the day.
Ecclesiastes says so...
The satisfaction of a job well done is it's own reward.

Made a huge effort for My Beloved was suffering a head ache.
I really wanted to encourage him.
A challenging day ahead of us was to be had.

The satisfaction of a job well done is it's own reward.

He was so bad, but recovered by 11:30 just in time for us to get the truck to the repair shop.
I made a lunch of freshly ground hamburgers on toasted buns, with fresh melon.
With the savings in hand, and the money for my new tooth.
Letting go of that gave me a stressed few moments.
I remembered that we will save up fast for it after the first week of January was over.

We found our self's around the kitchen table trying to
"Love the Lord with all our minds".
Choosing to thank HIM and pray for others who are suffering around us.
We were taking turns remembering the things we have witnessed, the things we have heard of, and the things things that are up right.

Finally (it says) ...think on these things...
Often, when hanging by a thread, I remember this.
We took turns telling what miracles what honorable and upright things , telling each other what is good holy and honorable.

Then the phone rang...It was a woman in a bad way,... and I included her in our game.
She thanked me.

Then we were off.
We dropped the truck off at the shop.
The fellow gave us favor of $10. off when we were to come back later to have the car aligned.
We were off to get the tires for the car.

Because we were obedient to save an emergency fund...

we were able to use it to get the tires for the car and get the work done on the truck.
Much of it was done by my darlings own hands.
Not a knuckle was scraped.
The fellow at the tire shop, then gave us a coupon for a 10% discount for the very place that the truck was being worked on.
I stayed for the two and a half hours, and the family walked home.
Once the car tires were finished, I got the family.
The truck was fetched by all of us.
I drove the kids home and started supper.
My Mr stayed to wait for the car to be aligned.
The $10 plus the $35. (the 10%) off gave enough left over to go get the new power steering pump tomorrow.
We have all that we have need of.
Yet again.

Tonight My Darling and I rested in each others arms watching a show.
I looked at him and he at me .
There, is all that we have need of.
We smiled and relaxed a bit.

Some french long loaf was sliced for the french toast in the morning.
14 little eggs cracked, soy milk, cardamom and a bit of clove to soak overnight on the bread.
We will have a feast in the marrow.

We found ourselves humbled before the children.
Showing them the trust they too must find in remembering all that they have witnessed,
and talking about it to keep a fresh outlook in times of challenge.

Out of our hands now in two days has flown just over $1000. of unexpected expenses.
We had that saved for just an emergency.
We will now once again build that back up after we regain the 300 for my new tooth.
The tooth being a priority now.

Why do I say all of this?
I KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS...
THERE ARE MANY OF YOU TOO WHO ARE PRESSED.

Perhaps...just perhaps by sharing my experiences , strength and hope
you might find an encouragement.
"Remember" with all that is within you;
the things you have heard and seen and witnessed in HIM.
May it pull you too though the muck.
Get a hold of this Dave Ramsey stuff it is really changing our lives.
To live through this with a knowledge of where we are and what we have to do to stay on track.
We have a calm that is amazing really.

Both autos will be in good working order with new tires on them both.
We will continue to budget a percentage toward future repairs.
This is so much better than winging it.

New Year's Meditations

On the Eve of this new year my little family had communion.

It was there at the cup, the bread broken that I reflected on those things that grieve me.

Things that I have sinned and neglected.

I spoke to the children during communion about what I believe.

What it is that is "my religion".

To love the Lord

with all my heart

all my mind

all my strength

To love my neighbor as myself

To tend to the Orphan

The widow in her hour of distress

In all things for me it has boiled down to the thick of this.

Do I love myself?

Am I able to love others when I am not loving myself?

Do I tend to my own physical, spiritual and mental needs?

This is where I come to sit before HIM and reflect.

These are the things I hold myself week unable to love others wholly,

because I have not Loved myself rightly.

Hope defered makes the heart sick.

The hopes of weight loss...

The hope of nice hands,

Exercised body.

These things have left me heart sick.

Mentally I have readied myself for adventure in teaching the children at the elementary "Art Master Piece".

Learning to bake bread, make yogurt and perform knowledge in order to gain proficiency in all things home making.

Staying on a budget and creating all the things my family needs.

all my mind.

Continue in the Bible Study

all my heart.

Worship, Obey and repent.

Fellowship.

all my strength.

Never giving up

Depending on him to never give in.

Thankful Thursday

Prayer time and the Huggy Kissy song.

Oh my I was just laying on Doves bed while Daddy read to them.
I dozed off a bit.
They are so fortunate that he still reads to them.

We have had a full year already.:)

The truck got a new axle and oil, the car got an oil change too,Mr U. noticed we need new tires on the car now, faster than we thought. He had a tire off to check the hub on the car axle and saw separation.
So tomorrow we have to take it in and use the emergency fund for that.
We are so blessed to have saved so hard, and have it to use for the needs.
The truck was found to need $400. in work to the steering arms (we have to hire that). It needs a alignment also. We will see if the shop might give us a discount for giving them so much business HA!
The car will need an alignment too.
We have a few hundred more in parts for the truck in the next two days we will do the work our selves.

The green beens lost to the frost were cleared from the trellis in the garden,
peas were picked.
The chicken coop got a through cleaning and the tomatoes were given a trellis.
My trellis making skills leave a bit to be desired, but if was accomplished in time for me to go to do the shopping.
I found one of my good tomato plants crushed with fruit missing.
The kids say they saw the dog do it, me thinks that they used the straw bail as a climbing stone and stepped on it during the play date day before.
Arg!
My plants are suffering between kids and the frost.
Though they were covered the chill nipped the leaved of my best producers.

Wow when it comes it comes hard and fast.

While my man was up to his elbows in grease I was up to mine grinding the 20 pounds of beef I got for less than half price ( a two and a half hour job).
Freezer will be ready for the months ahead
The grocery was won at less than half price for I did the lead ins and the adds. Used a few coupons.

We are so very blessed with such abundance.

Made some turkey and veggie noodle with dumplings, hubby loved it!
A two pound meat loaf was baked while we watched a movie "somewhere in time".
We are tired,
grateful that we did not have a flat on the highway.
Everything in its perfect timing.
We will save back up for the emergency fund and get back up on our feet in time.
By the end of the weekend we should have the work done on both vehicles .
I suppose after over 100,000 on the truck in 10 years, it is due to be maintained.
The car will just get new shoes (tires) a little sooner than expected.
We will start the year with both autos in good working order with both having new tires. We have own them both so it is an uncommon expense for us to spend on the autos.
Bless God we have no car payments.

Dash got his hearing aide fixed and it looks like we will be able to qualify for his medical with only 5 days of overtime missed.
(we trust) I'll know after the 9th.
I will need to go back down to the city again to do the financial work.
The woman there yesterday was the wonderful woman who helped me last year. She was awesome and we went through several scenarios to find the best fit.

We'll just keep doing our part to keep the economy going HA!

We are so blessed all this is happening while He is off work and can do the work himself here at the house.
yaunnnnnnnnn
Wow a day.
Dishes and laundry are calling me to come heed the task for the morrow.

Life to the top.

Last of the year harvest

Leg of lamb for supper
Communion together was wonderful.
Daddy Man made sure they understood.
This has been
Dash's desire.

Apple crumble with carmel for desert

Turkey carcus cooked down for dumplings for lunch tomorrow.

Late night Go Fish!

Time on computers...
Two Minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They did it~

Almost time to change the date....

The children are up yet 11:11 2008 Will they make it???????

Homemade

In November we celebrated the first 14 eggs from the chickens by having a family omelet.
It was such an exciting thing for me...a dream and longing from childhood come true. Raising my own chickens.

Then there was the jewelry show.

The trim on the cutting table skirt.

It adds a nice weight to the bottom of the cloth

Doves long awaited cloak. I was going to make this for Christmas last year and had just fallen behind that far, before it came up on the list.

During the last month we made many things.

Beloved Daddy Man got the tree House frame up on a nice platform.
It has been too cold of yet to work on it in the garage.

Most of my sewing time was used on Doves coat. She received it before Christmas. I just can not fathom her waiting for the 25th and being cold in the interim.

Once upon a time a dear friend received an apron at my hand.
She spoke of how fond she was of it often.
These may not function for her kids :) to use in the pizza oven ...
they are intended just for her to have something of creative beauty that is pure decadence.
That is how her love is displayed toward me...pure decadence.
I love you too my friend.
This is a pair of oven mitts I stitched the beaded trim on for my long friend.
You are greatly beloved Michelle.

Dove painted this for the door wreath.

This was my big project for my sister 50th birthday (12-21).

Dash calculated it had over 10,000 beads stitched on it.
I used a simple whip stitch, by pinching the edge I used my fingers as the gauge of stitch length.

It is a deep red velvet stuffed with poly/cotton batting.

You may be able to see the varied needles that have become part of a valued collection over the years. The hoop with a nice cloth (velvet like) holds beads so that I can whip up the count, with a fine long beading needle.

Using a large carpet needed with button thread the center of the cushion was tightly stitched and drawn into a firm center that left large threads in the center.

To that thread I used this hooked needle to sew the antique glass buttons on.
Heavy carpet/button thread again was used and the stitches were set into the others
(not through the cushion)
Then tied off under the button with several whip knots.
Pulled very tight.

Onto the other side I also stitched the button. First anchoring the tread by stitching though then before you pull all the way pull your needle through the tail treads.
That knot will hold it fast , as the tension will keep it in a knotted way.

Beauty becomes tool (a pin cushions).
She too is a seamstress (by profession).
A wonderful simple tool is the sticky roller.

I have had the pillow sham blocks for two years now...
Trisha my long time friend has a wonderful forest theme in her master bedroom.
These were finished at last!

I loved the vibrant color.

Another long time friend received a little heart shaped pillow made as a decorative or as a broach pad. It was wrought because of a fond memory of her and her husband coming and gifting Dash when he was very little with a little bear and a prayer...
He is a little older than their son.
They had longed for a son also.
The kindness they showed that day (we had only just met) was all heart.
Full heart so beautiful and this was what I had to make them.
It is how I see them.

A side view.

This three dimensional tree is becoming a beaded family heirloom.
Several other things have been sewn onto it.
I made the tree last year.