Knowing; never be alone in it again.

For it has now been a month out from the gift of this new knee.  How I have challenged greet changes in my character. How much suffering at the neglect of proper pain control repeatedly. Yet how neglected a thought of so so many many opportunities to see Gods hand upon me.

Again Friday once more in the face of a lack of pain medication I saw His hand came for me mercifully.

It was that at my physical therapy appointment that a rap camp upon the door. Softly at first then again, as I lay there in the dark. Heat upon and under my knee and my back, electric stem as well. She tipped her head in. "your husband is on the phone, He is asking about the authorization from the surgeons office. He is at the pharmacy trying to pick up the prescription"

Laying there I began to weep. Then the thought of it being a Friday I wept I shook. Knowing what it has been to repeatedly suffer the full bore of bone to metal. Knowing full well that error upon error has pressed my mental stamina and physical endurance to my limits of reason and sanity...I wept.


'Please Please Please Please God have mercy on me. No more'

As the lights came on, ringing a stop to the comfort of the heating pads. My breadth pulled in within me. The front staff helped as we came to find that the surgeon has NO after hour contact. I called the Walgreen's bypassing the call center going straight to store.


There he was His name was John. He made every effort to no avail yet told me he would let me know. Retuning to therapy with trepidation the choice to go on was made. Either way I was in for a hurt. Sooner or later but both. With knee replacement one can not allow the tissue to go un worked or a limp will be so the rest of days.
Steve came for me with my beautiful daughter in tow. We headed for home.
A vision came of me in the wheelchair in store. Many calls so far out of Johns duties was met an OK by my primary doctor who was at home. He succeeded for us.

Mercy mine. 

As rest and pain are yet a balancing task.
Was there not mercy when the outcomes were unmet?When hour after hour I felt the fullness of pain. Knowing the bone connection. Was there not mercy even then?

In this I know what it is to suffer unbearable pain. In this I have witnessed faces forced to do nothing but stand by and watch. What it is to have a friend hold me as my fist pound out in retched pain (Lisa always within my heart your prayer and embrace). What it is to risk a pill to ease it, not knowing the long term consequences. What it is to be loved by so many. What it looks like when others are not. The face of loneliness and fear of isolation. What it is for our elders in their hour of need when imprisoned in nursing home bureaucracy. The kindness of one soul who took me under her care because "you felt so alone in this". The delight of admiration from others while I was in the face of courage. To go home to a professional group that will help me get fine, feel safe to rest. So many things yet to clarify. To have an amazing friend, a husband who has always loved me as this.

Tonight sitting here in the silence of the summer rain I know mercy. Mercy that knowing all of the horrid things over this last month they will become turned into a passion, love. Toward myself first then others likewise who too know 'alone'. They might in my knowing never be alone (without someone understanding what it is like) in it again.

TWO WAY GLASS IMAGE MIRROR IMAGE

 

A Mirror or a 2-Way Glass? How can you tell when you are in a room, restroom, motel etc. with a mirror or a 2-way glass? Here's how: I thought it was quite interesting! And I know

in about 30 seconds you're going to do what I did and find

the nearest mirror.

Do you know how to determine if a mirror is 2-way or not?

A policewoman who travels all over the US and gives seminars

and techniques for businesswomen passed this on.

When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms,

etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary

mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way

mirror (i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them)?

There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors

in female changing rooms . It is very difficult to positively identify

the surface by looking at it.

So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type

of mirror we are looking at?

Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective

surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail,

then it is GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the

image of your nail, then BEWARE! IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR!

"No Space, Leave the Place" So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the

 

"fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.

REMEMBER. No Space, Leave the Place:

Ladies: Share this with your girlfriends, sisters, daughters, etc.

Men: Share this with your wives, daughters, daughters-in-law, mothers,

girlfriends and/or friends. 

Back into life at home

Steve went back to work today with an early new schedule. He will get off that much earlier and be able to pick me up then Dove. He will drop me off at therapy (5 days a week) and come home to the kids. Later to return and and fetch me.
God has blessed us with a loving neighbor across the street. She has been around for years. A single woman who over the years Steve has kept eye out for. She will be covering me by taking Dove to school each morning (a 7 minute ride) . That way she does not need to ride the bus (over and hour here to there). Much safer as well regarding her social cognitive.
Dash and I are home. He is doing his on line K12 schooling. We are doing great!
Pain changes my voice stress concerns Dash of if I am angry so he is understanding now what is causing it. Getting up and down a lot for him to enter my pass word I think is good for my leg. I rode the stationary bike sorta for 15 minutes this morning. Just sorta rocking back and forth.

Well for the first morning so far so good. Pain is tough.

Our dear friends of 10 years+ are leaving state in two days. We all were blessed to spend several hours together last night. Made for a very late night. The kids played, we visited and shared our journeys with each other. We all prayed and wept. They are moving up to Montana. Some will fly and then the guys (including another fellow friend of ours) will drive up the vehicles and do a weeks fishing along the way. What an adventure along the way. They are walking into their dream.

Would it be that we were each courageous and fortunate enough to do so.

Prayer request out for Shorty Bear

I just got this word from Marsha.
Our dear friend is in battle with her body. Please remember her and Eddie tonight and on.
thanks everyone.

 Marsha wrote

Please pray for Denise! Her husband Eddie just called me. She is VERY sick. She hasn't been able to hold food or water down for so long, she's about 100 lbs. They took her by ambulance this evening, so was so weak. They did a Cat Scan and they found a small tumor on the back of her brain - either cancer or a stroke, not sure which. Biopsy is tomorrow. She is in Erlanger Surgical Intensive Care unit. He will keep me posted.

home safe

Hello
Last night i wrote a lovely long post and lost it

Thank you all for your loveing prayers and well wishes
Today is full for Steve goes back to work tomorrow so this is all I can do to say hello at the moment.
I have to learn Dash's school program.
Love you all