Photo Hunters *Curvey*

Pains been bad, time up is limited.

It was a long night and a hard day. Pain is bad. I just now used the crutches to come in here. It is almost three. The kids an hubby are caring for me well. I watched a couple of movies. Muscle spasms have been real bad. I over did it after the injection by stopping for the B12 for Miss Fiction. She had a bad night the night before. I drove to a bank to get the $10. and the drive up atm was out of cash, I drove around the building again and cashed a check at the drive up. I had given my word I would stop back by a neighbors yard sale she was holding a few books for me for the kids. She had closed the sale and I had (choose with ill thought) to get out of the car and go to the door. There were three steps. I should of given up at that point I made it to the door. Got home and rested but went to get the kids an hour later when they got out of school. Too much did I, Too much pain have had I.
I made poor choices and now pay with bad pain. I am resting all day.
My Daughter brought me breakfast a sweet bowl of cereal and soy milk in a gravy boat too cute, Then she came with my tea pot and cup set full of apricot nectar. I am so Loved. Miss Fiction and the Daddy went to Costco and came home with a four foot pillow covered in soft fake rabbit fur it feels so good on my leg, so soft. Then My beloved presented Costco ribs to me ( my favorite. I was able to eat respectfully). It sure hurts, my back is so pained from laying so log. The muscle cramping is much better right now. Gotta go so as to not over due.
Have a great day.
Well it is evening now
I posted this and removed it. I thought it dribble and full of all things that might put you readers off. well after thinking about it I am a real person. I have been shown respect and if I only expose the cheerful light side of my days I would be a fraud. That would never due.
It has been a long day of laying around and being board and feeling yucky from the second round of anti biotic taken for the dry socket. Tuesday I go back in on it. Now I rest this sweet injected knee that is just angry and unpleasant to have danglingly around while I hobble on the crutches that are leaving my back hurting.
I don't know how Amy does it!
Really it is the end of the month that is getting to me. That yearly call to arms to prayer to the reality of what is going on right now in preparation for the darker side of things.
I pull myself up in my chair only to hurt in my heart for the flashes of reality that I seam alone in the awareness of. I feel lonely I think. So I will not try to hide behind a lovely post tonight. Not that I ever do. I just feel so many feelings. I did an entry on the other blog that is so compelling for the sake of children out there.
How can I stand on a hill and cry out! When I can barely stand on my own leg. I must be in His strength alone.

Happy Fall! Full of mixed feelings.

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see. This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch. Happy Fall!

I got upset at the Halloween thing in the last post. My kids are wanting costumes, and I offered to help their teachers that day.I HATE this holiday! I think however I would do better by the kids to be present to hear what they hear and have a chance to guided them into the truth afterward. So, I am going to challenge my re-actions and try to act in wisdom on their behalf. I so,do not want, it to be like the "red food coloring". I never let Miss fiction have red food coloring for many years and now that is the only color she chooses. If they are ignorant or deprived then the temptations have a greater pull. I must let them see the truth of both sides of such a celebration. It is made to be so much fun, and so innocent. It just rips me up! How gullible a nation we have been, and are, to what we are doing! We are desensitizing our children to the dark side.
Sometimes I so wish it could just be as much fun and as innocent for me as it seems to be for so many of you!

Good afternoon. Synvisc shot #2 today

I have had wonderful news. If the shot shows effect soon after injections the likelihood that it is going to be successful if more promising! Well I could tell the difference within 12 hours by 30 hour I had walked 12-15 steps limp free last week.
I also found out that knee replacement my not be the threat upon me. I am more a candidate for continued use of newer drugs injected. They are finding that a new cortisone may decrease the chemicals in the joint that eat the cartilage away. As long as the injections are in the joint cavity and NOT around the soft tissue. He thinks that in 10 years or so the may develop a type of injection like a silicone or epoxy that adheres to the bone end. This is a real encouragement for me because of my age.
So I am a hurting girl right now.
I got the shot in around 11 A.m., I am so privileged and fortunate to have the medication available, it has only been on the market a few years now. It is showing good signs of growing cartilage.
I had some dark chocolate with cherries and almonds for a treat. I hope I did not fall to hard on my plan doing so. When I am in so much pain I think I try to nurture myself with a "goodie" just like my mom would do.

Friday Feist

Christine over at "Are we there yet Mom" is hosting today

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you look forward to your birthday?
My Birthday is a time of reverence and celebration with gratitude for me! I have learned that my life is a precious gift. It is a life I have fought diligently for. I love to have it noticed. I an 46 years young and getting younger every day in my attitude about myself. I defiantly would say a 10

Soup
What is one word you don’t like the sound, spelling, or meaning of?
Halloween. I, being raised by those who were satanist despise hollowing anything that is not holy.
When I think of 10-31 I think of all the times I was on the stone table as a child being raped. I am reminded of all the animal sacrifices I witnessed. People really do use this day to worship the dark side.
It is very "CUTE" in our culture but it is very haunting and a time of great intercession for those who may be experiencing the unspeakable on that night. I pray for children who are the targets of their crimes in the name of their "worship".
You asked!
Ooo, I am shaking!

Salad
Do you wear sunglasses when you’re outside? If so, what does your current pair look like?
Yes clip ons, for I have progressive bifocals with prisms. My eye sight is challenged, and the sunlight is blinding through the coke bottles :0 I use polarized dark black in the sun, or yellow for cloudy days.

Main Course
If you were to write a book, to whom would you dedicate it?
Well, I have written a novel (It is awaiting edits) I have dedicated it to my ; my husband , family and friends.
I have another manuscript in process. I think I would dedicate it to those who are without Hope who need understanding, knowledge and freedom from their wounds. I would gift it a gift of worship and obedience to my Creator.

Dessert
Name a beverage that you enjoy.
Water via reverse osmosis system, Vitamin waters blackberry is yummy. Green tea, rose hip tea is nice too.

Hungry for more, Check out some more fabulous places to feast at HERE.

Urgent! Call to Prayer!

My dear friend over at "In the life of a child"
She is in desperate need of your intercessions. Her darling Daughter is very ill. She is facing a painful time to endure the suffering of her child. Support this family with the kindness that is in all of your hearts.
Please, lift them up and send life to them in word and prayer.
Thank you.
Donetta

Thursday Thirteen...

I just realized the time and with a mild panic thought "oh no !I haven't done a thing! That is not really true! My thirteen is what I did do today!

1. I awoke before the alarm and good thing too. I woke hubby before he was late for work. The alarm had not gone off! I saw him off with a loving embrace and a warm smile. I know that he looks forward to coming home to me. (that matters a lot!)

2. I fed the dogs. To keep the house quiet for a few more moments.

3. I sat down and just was still before God. Opened my manual for living (BIBLE) and learned more on how to pray for others in Colo.

4. I then let said dog in as to keep neighborhood quiet:) and had them lay down!

5. I took joy in my e-card from Denise. She blesses me daily with the sweetest scripture cards that just give me wind to sail.

6. I then awoke my children with a massage of the little legs and arms sore from last nights skating. Made them breakfast. Packed them lunch and then drove them to school.

7. I then came home and took the trouble to do myself a breakfast according to my meal plan and ate it and only it with my tea I made just for me! (Now this was big!)

8. I them made a rub of herbs for a leg of lamb and began roasting it in the oven. (according to meal plan just for me the family will benefit too.)

9. I called my Sister long distance out of Love and fore thought of how much it might mean for me to call her (she is the one who so often dials) listened and asked her questions about her life. Shared my life events. Looked at a Google earth image of her home and celebrated her by showing interest in her world.

10. Read my E-mails and answered several. I also listened to Jaye at "Just a Mom". Who told me to go rest!

11. Received two calls from Michelle at "Life in the midst of writing" who called to show she cared of my life and then called a second time for counsel on a matter.

12. Took the self kindness to Eat according to meal plan at lunch even washed a head of lettuce just for myself! NO GUILT!

13. Made a post for gratitude , skate date (entered a writing carnival) and my week in review! Spell checked them and made them nice.

Now the kids due home in 1 hour 45 minutes and I am rested well fed and ready for the Daddy man to be home late. He has a stop to make on the way home. He has to buy parts for the 4 runner. We may be having to invest into it. We own both cars so this is not to bad to have a repair on the truck. It may be costly so I can pray for Hubby to get good deals and to have wisdom in repairing it. He will be under the hood tonight. I'll give myself to the kids and then he will need my help on the truck tonight while the kids play. I still have to do my isometric exercises for my knee.

Thankful Thursday

Good day all!
I pause today to join all of you in giving thanks.
I am amerced in the all encompassing favor and gentleness that blankets me in the midst of a savagely cruel world. To live here in America, free...full of hope and a promise for both myself and my children. Wow!
I am warmed in this blanket of friends who care about me. Those who stop to call or e-mail, comment and drop a line. Comforted in the kindness of strangers toward my children and those I love. Humbled by a God who has restored everything that the worm has eaten.
Where help is there awaiting, serving me with generosity and kindness. Healing more than possible. Pains eased and my youth restored to me as an Eagle on wing.
Pantry full of all, so as to never have a want or need.
Roofed by a palace of form where no armed man comes in to harm.
Surrounded by a palpable witness to provision and kindness. A guard at my door a sentinel at my side. Knowing, also, for my children is this afforded, and my spouse.
Holy, holy, holy...
Loving Him, being loved by Him is Holy.

This and that Q & A

20 Mule Team Borax for ants. Place on all entry zones and under sinks. They will not cross it.

School Fund Raiser at the Skate Rink

Carnival of Family Life over at Island life offers a wonderful chance to share stories of you family times. Stretch your hands and share your experience, strength and hope with others. The submissions are then posted so we can all join in in "building up" the family.

The kids had asked about going to this event. I once was a very fast skater who loved the feel of the wind in my hair. I have been benched! BOOHOO!
This was a private event just for the elementary school. So of course I did all I could do to make it happen. Knowing that beloved was going to be used up after a 10 hour shift I prayed and set all the ducks (in a row) for success! The kids were even willing to use the $5. they had each earned ( by counting backwards from 100) for the entry. Daddy said that they did not need to spend their money. He would pay. That meant YA! were going!
The Daddy man was tired, a little pessimistic about going.I can not help them and he does not, nor has he ever, skated. Our kids have never skated! It was time and this was th perfect opportunity to experience it! (some very blurry photos sorry).
Miss fiction met a young boy Matthew who was in her class at the door. He was more than delighted to see her. After introducing his mother to me. His Mother spoke about him telling her all about Miss Fiction. He told her all about the mysteries of skating relieving all of her fears.
Dash did well on the outer side of the rink. JUST DON'T MAKE ME GO IN THERE! Several kids offered to help them. Dash would receive no assistance! Very much a do it myself sorta kid. Yet he was gracious and showed appreciation.

Dash in the mustard colored shirt. Did his best to manage his ego, and save face.

The boy next to him is 12. He offered repeatedly to help, yet Dash just kept saying after a while.

I had asked a very nice Mother to help me keep an eye in the rink for Dove to be safe. She actually helped her to skate. I almost sobbed because I wanted to be the one to do it! I am very thankful to her for her kindness.
It does take a community to raise a child.
I signed the "thank you" and she returned the A.S.L. for your welcome. Startled, I then signed "deep gratitude of heart" to her. Daddy man soon loosened up and went out with shoes on center rink to help her.

She did very well (again sorry for the blurry images.)


We got a pizza. Thankfully Dash choose one bite and put it down, cheese is a big no no for him. I have to make him responsible to make good choices. I had feed him at home. We shared some with the helpful boy, who is a child of many siblings. Mother of many am I. He had not had supper and so I spoke to him, his the parents were not in attendance. I met two other of his siblings. This child just needed an adult to look him in the eye and care about his heart a little. He is apparently 3 years behind in school.
He met Dash at the door of the school today with a strange gang like hand shake that bothered me a little. I hope I have not given him over to a wolf. My kids told me at breakfast he was a good kid. There are so many invisible kids that just need to be seen. Keep an open eye out and let them know they are alive. We need Community !

Dash got the hang of it pretty well

This little girl was met last spring at the school. She was in the same class as Miss Fiction. The child approached and said..." I'll help her teacher" and they have been friends ever since. The girl even comes up to me and hugs me and eye to eye says hello every time she sees me. Many of the children know me from the photo's at the school last month. I also made the costumes for the class last year. I made this child's costume and she has never forgotten it. She always shows such gratitude to me.

They fell asleep fast and hard! I love to peek on them at night. She is so beautiful and so amazing to me! I often hope that I will remember these images. So I took a picture. This time they were so dead to the world that I knew the flash would not scare them.

These babies will grow and soon they will be adults independent and vibrant.
Time flies so fast!
Don't blink!
Isn't he so sweet!

So far this week

Monday I cleaned the pantry and began the a photo journal post. Spent some time on the phone on Tuesday with the nurse of the surgeon who fell ill. She wanted to speak to me on a personal note about her own child who has special needs with hearing impairment. It was cool that she came to me for help and I literally had the phone numbers and the was able to teach her the hierarchy of the special ed department of our local school district, I even had the phone numbers and contacts for her.
I spoke with our financial adviser too and she is concerned about the life insurance on hubby encase he goes home before me. We have developed a living trust (when we went to get Dash in Russia we were targets as Americans) to protect Miss fiction. We try to be very wise and invest for retirement too. We cant touch any of it for another 14 years or so but it is good to have it in order. My Father through marriage always encouraged us to start saving young. We had extra taken out and invested into our retirement. We are getting closer and although it is very tight now we will be able to pay the house payment and utilities when we retire (if) with the kids being so young we will probably extend to 72 (if we can hubby). I have not worked enough hours so I will not have Medicare. We opted out of doing disability for myself. We cover our own while we are able always have.
Wow I had a full day yesterday. I droped off the kids and came back to the house. I did my pedicure quickly and was off to physical therapy. I was given a gift. The therapist did a heat soak and electrical stimulation on my low back as well (free) as a gift. He said to make sure I'm set up in the room and not the gym for a few visits so he can repeat that gift. That felt so good! I have a narrowing of L4, L5 and L6. It causes some partial peralisis when I have inflammation. It can be so hard for without bending at the knee I always have to bend right there at the hip. So this is a real treat.
I went to the grocery for a grapefruit and some seltzer(I used the electric cart), spoke with the cart attendant a child herself at 19, she has a sibling who is 16 and is completely disabled. We spoke sometime and she told me how her mother just gave her sister away because she could not handle it. Her grandmother cares for he. Her mother had drug addiction, This young girl has fought to achieve. I praised and encouraged her. An elderly man (Amazing Marvin) was lost I cleared my seat to give a ride back to the drug store around the corner. He told me how he was rotting away in his 4 walls of his apartment. He put a sign on the door "if you need help ask".
He had a homeless couple their child, and a yet to be born at the doctors office nearby.
He thinks he will live longer now!
Took the kids to the roller rink last night for a school fund raiser. I'll post on that later.

Wordless Wednesday

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Just in time for long sessions of physical therapy!

How to have and maintainance of a food Pantry

If you were to visit a well run restaurant kitchen you would find a well managed pantry. Perhaps you would see gallon cans to our pints but the same principle applies. My Mother had a cafe when I was a child. She made her best income on well prepared dishes that were the least expensive to prepare. The balance between being efficient and minding the costs.

I have a collection of cake pans (I make the birthday cakes for our family and sometimes for friends) on penny nails (no head on the nail) Hubby pre-drilled and set them. Also He pre- drilled and mounted very large cup hooks that hold my baskets.

Right wall/ back wall upper. I keep glass jars high up. these sauces have no high fructose I found them on clearance when a local store remodeled recently. They are normally very pricey.

Right wall second/third shelf. All of my spices and herbs are here together. I use basic main foundational ingredients. I am a mad scientist! This is where the joy of cooking comes in. I use mostly herbs good for type O or type A. If it is a beneficial there is a lot of it if it is a neutral I also have it. I try to avoid the purchase of things that are avoids for O/A types. I am not legalistic but thoughtful of this. I will splurge at times but it will not be the norm of what we consume. I prepare meals from the fundamental ingredients, cheating here and there as times can get you wherry.

Right wall third/forth and floor. Can goods are kept at the lower level here, I buy certain things and when on Lead in add or on clearance(If the dates are good) I stock up. I tell God what I have need of and then never fails I have a great buy at one of the stores on it that week. I keep a mental (once it was a paper) inventory of what items we regularly buy. I find coupon, of little use unless dry goods,,they are limiting because I seldom buy pre prepared stuff (again spoken liberally). We shop at a Costco and buy paper and plastics in bulk for a lot less (but not always less some lead in adds are smokin')

Right hand wall floor. Did you know they no longer use pinto beens to make refried beans. They use the lesser white bean. So I buy big cans of pure pinto "cheep" and make my own for a big meal and I have them for the snacking family (chips and beans or burritos for 10 cents each)

Thats the upper back wall with the glass and my tea selection. Tea is very medicinal and healing. I use teas for many different things. I keep a variety for my girlfriends too.

Upper left is where I keep the stock goods over purchased on clearance. I just go shopping here when I run out of my staples. Honey and the sugars are up high too. Not that it matters now they can reach! :) I ask for Paper bags and recycle them, dog dung, crafts, take away stuff or give away stuff.

back wall and left side. I buy vinegar in huge containers for we have hard water here and this is how to clean a glass shower stall:) Once opened the children's cereals are placed into jars. On the floor are very large jars of sugars, baking soda(too many uses to count), rice. Buy buying in bulk I have the control over the cleanliness of these things. In Arizona we have a lot of mice and illness is common. Soda cans are the worse. By washing your cans before you open them you can do a lot to keep your family safe. I use a pampered chef can opener. It cuts the side of the can not into the top.

All items on lower shelves are in Plastic containers I have recycled and collected over the years. If a food item is contaminated it is isolated and can easily be discarded (outside) but never in a house trash can. The children's milk is kept low so they drop it less and it is easily accessed by them. I buy it by the case. Once I belonged to a co-op but it proved to difficult with the kids.

Bay lief is how I keep bugs away( I hate adding poison into my habitat)! I use this in all my cupboards and under the sinks throughout the house. Just refresh it every once in a while. This container was only .38 cents at a health food store. Buy the herb not the containers at the grocery store.
I hope this has been helpful to you.
Donetta
My dry goods (plastics, paper, soaps and so on) are stored else where

Tails from the scales Weel #1

Wow! I lost 2 pounds! The scale is temped to say three.
I had my knee injection on Friday an I walked around the block Monday once in the morning and once in the evening. I Celebrate me.
My Husband declared "I eat what you eat!". Boy did that boost my success.
My eating for your type is fabulous! Feeling better and with type o you have certain things you stay away from. For some 25 years I had bowel problems, and I faced a bag at one point. I would be constipated for up to 14-18 days at a time. Then I would be so ill for 24 hours of both ends that Life was better lost (seemingly). I have kept to my type increasing in discipline over the last two years and that has gone away. Coffee had been a hard one for me for caffeine really helps when your parenting at this age. Green tea and other teas are much better not black tea. Acid is a problem for type o's so coffee is hard on us it harms our joints....
I did not do coffee this week. I used green tea and food. Yes food the wonder cure. It is just that I ate the right foods for me. I get another Synvisc injection on Friday and I start physical therapy this morning.

Mother- Daughter Carnaval~ Eye Contact

October 01, 2007

Mother- Daughter Blog Carnival

My pal Sarah at Real Life has started a Mother-Daughter Blog Carnival,
Here's what she has to say about the Carnival:

We moms face many issues as we travel on the journey of motherhood. As a mom of three girls, I've found that raising girls has it's own unique set of joys and challenges, and it's fair share of DRAMA!! I looked for a blog carnival catering specifically to mothers and daughters, and I couldn't find one. This is not to say that it doesn't exist, I just couldn't find it. So I decided to start a new one. (What is a blog carnival?)

It will be hosted by" One Day at a Time"

Eye Contact

My Miss fiction is a very sweet 10 year old. Today she anounced that the school has given her a speech evaluation. When I asked her what the woman looked like she said she had very dark eye brows. She had only looked at the womans eyes. She can not remember anything else.
Eye contact.
A simple thing to most of you mothers a hard won thing for us. Most of you know my girl was adopted at seven months and had never been touched. So for her we had a big journey into eye contact. All of the things that are normal and expected for most of you Mothers, happen at expected intervals. Not so with a special needs child.
The one thing that causes me more of a challenge than any thing in my parenting with my daughter is the very thing that makes my daughter so charming and dear to be with.
Her heart is good. Her motives are good. My girl lives in fiction, a world of made up characters and events that even at 10 years of age become so vividly real to her that the reality of her surroundings is blurred. So many items around here are broken each day and so many role plays present present dangers that I MUST always be on my alert. It can tire me and discourage me to no wit. It also inspires and impresses me. It is also so wonderful. Imagination is powerful and she sets wing and believes she is flying. Most kids pretend they are but to her SHE IS!
How hard it is to feel like I must always correct or defer her antics to keep the peace between siblings, to have them both safe. This child would grow to make an amazing director. She feels, sees and smells as if it were real around her. All that is real around her disappears until you speak her back into the moment.

She is so athletic, I think we let her down in this. With a variety of reasons we cant keep up a extracurricular class or lessons. She is so strong. In school she would be great in sports. She being the only one in our family who would advance, or take interest in them (except the interest she compels).

She is growing up and is so cute she came to me to talk tonight while I was in the master bath. She took a favorite essence oil and we made a jar of her favorite lotion. Peppermint/Lemon was her choice she was delighted to create it. We were having a great time together . She began her bath, and all of a sudden she was in the deep ocean and the waves toped the tub onto the carpet she was startled at what she had done and felt remorse. It was so beautiful to hear her in her marine world and then the let down into the reality of (the cleaning needing to be re-dune and the candles all wet). Non of that must matter in a way, yet it can be so frustrating. I just stopped. Watching her swish her hair out under the water as if she were an aquatic mammal. She spoke of the sea and how she wondered if she came out of the water. I told her of the water of the womb she grew in. I KNEW IT! I knew I came out off the sea!...Said she.
She has a beauty that I can not hold it is like the waters flowing through my hands and evaporating onto the bathroom carpet, full of joy untill the moment hits her with the remorse of what occurred back here on dry land.
Oh the paradox, and the beauty. May I keep her spirit alive through all of this.

Tackle It Tuesday

Good Morning! After referring a dog scuffle over "blue bone", having a quiet time with my Abba Papa and doing the morning tasks (breakfast, packing lunches and feeding of the dogs) I dropped the kids off at school.
When I returned I walked around the block with my cane (just in case). Last night at the 7/8 th's point it was a hurting.

the scuffle continues right now Rena the Queen is the clear winner. This will continue for they are in one of their moods. They do have other bones,, Blue bone is the favorite.

Willy vying for position.

before

After 7:30 p.m. NO MORE WORK TONIGHT!
So happy Tackle! This is my focus today. I'll need to vacuum and dust and such. Change the linens and make the bed. This is the first time I have aloud you to see my most prized material possession (well it is on the list of the top 5) Do you see what it is? It has such a sweet story I'll have to share it one day. I made those drapes God gave me fabric $2. a yard I did that at the same time as the living room ones. It dictated the color scene. I used a color wheel . Rose was the primary due to the carpet. The whole house had that rose carpet in it. Some day I would love to get a silver gray.

This is all a mess. When we gave the kids their own rooms we confinscated this television. We do not like them in bedrooms. Including our own. However we have no other good place to store this gift. Yes, gift. When the plant closed down several of the girls entered my husbands name for the televisions that were in the cafeteria. Well he came home with it. Our other one in the living room is really the gift this is the old one that was displaced. It is in good working condition and we saved a long time for it. We gave one other one away and thought we should hold on to this one. It was in the school room then the play room. Now it is going to live here. Although I do not like a T.V. in my bedroom it has served well after surgery or when I am laid up.

Do you think I need to dust? It is a dry heat here and a dusty land! That beaded lamp I did, it took 6 months for the pair of them. That was before the purchased fringe they have now. I was young and did them with a needle. My first bedroom colors were blues and burgandy.

before
This is a mess! I have laundry but I think better of it than to try to carry it out today. I think perhaps I'll have the kids carry it and just wait. Close my eye to it and work around it.
I had hubby carry the laundry to the couch (it is much easier on my low back if I sort it from the hight of the sofa rather than sitting on a stool on the floor) to sort it tomorrow after my therapy appointment.
after...


Years ago Leann a sister in Christ Gave this calligraphy on nice paper to me. She is gone now at her own hand. The battle took the best of her. I decoupaged it a long time back and placed shells around it. It is the Proverbs 31: text. It daily reminds me of my role and to never give up on it! Making it was a part of my grieving and healing her loss. Suicide happens one failed step at a time over several years sometimes. Watch your footing make good choices. It is a dreadful road.

"Happiness is being married to my best friend"
hangs over beloveds towel to remind him what really matters most to my happiness.

We see our wedding photo every day. I keep them before our eyes in our private space.

The rocker has a load of kids stuff on it to put away.

A good meal leaves a good sized mess. I took the kids on a nature treasure hunt around the block after supper last night so this was neglected.
I cleaned that mess up an made another by cooking tonights supper, but I am just too tire to do it.

Tools of the trade. I do my own pedicure.

A pedicure for me today! I start therapy tomorrow and I don't like to have people handle me. It is real hard for me to do physical therapy. I have been forced repeatedly to challenge this over the many times of recovering from the car wreak and the surgery and such. Once again I have more to learn in this court. So if I have to play I will do what I can to help myself feel less self conscience.

My husbands Paternal Grandmother told me I have beautiful feet. I used to go and clean her two nails and soak them so that I could clip them for her. They bothered her so badly. She would lay my head on her. She was very elderly and shook from a neurological problem. She would pat my head and tell me how lovely I was.
She was the first woman who showed me gentleness and kind touch. I was in my later 20's.
She is another who I could tell such wonderful stories of. How she left to go home to be with her God was so poignant.

Well here goes ! See you in the middle.
This is a great motivator!

The Mathetes Award

"Denise", Just awarded me with the Mathetes award...I began to cry, I cry when I am loved. Thank you for your sweet release. It felt good to be loved, to cry.



Mathetes is the Greek word for disciple, and the role of the disciple (per the Great Commission) it to make more disciples. I'd like to take the opportunity to award five other bloggers with this award and badge for acting in the role of a disciple of Christ. These five all share the message in their own creative ways, and I admire them all for what they do.

In the spirit of this award, the rules are simple. Winners of this award must pick five other "disciples" to pass it on to. As you pass it on, I just ask that you mention and provide links for (1)this post as the originator of the award (Dan King of management by God), (2) the person that awarded it to you, and then (3) name and sites of the five that you believe are fulfilling the role of a disciple of Christ. If you know of other deserving recipients of this award, and would like to start a new string, then please post a link to where you've started in in the comments to this post. I would love for many deserving bloggers to be blessed with this recognition.

I have some time tonight to pass this and another on. I find it so hard to leave any one out when I pass these on so I often like to spread it around. So very many of you are so very deserving of every good thing. I wish I could make you all cry tears of loving kindness, embracing all of your tender hearts.
Denise you so have been a light. I am humbled to be spoken to and given this by you. I began to cry like real way down open it up and let it all out cry. It is not easy to walk in the right choices, or to live in the right way. All around us we are pulled. At times even ridiculed in this world for choosing the higher road. It is often a road with the suffering and compassions that call from us everything we are and have. He provides within us and through us. It is His example that we simply admire.

"spiritually unequally yolked"
"Real Life"
"JD's DAZES"
"Tales from the Scales"
These are all people who live the life that is effected by the worse of humanity and they live it with grace.

Well now... I'm Fabulous! :)

Well now this gave me a chuckle!
Denise at "Shorty Bears" passed on this totally fabulous award.
What a sweet heart! Please visit her blog .

This award was designed by Mike At Ordinary Folk and was originally offered by Christy of Totally Fabulous.
She says the award is for
“Bloggers who are fun, cool, and of course Totally Fabulous!”.
I will be passing it along too:

"Flip flop"
"Are we there yet Mom?"
"Gumbo Lilly"
"Gracious Hospitality"
"In the life of a child"

Marriage Monday

"Chrysalis" is hosting Marriage Monday

Tonight the kids had some left over spaghetti (Oh joy!) They cheered at the news. I often give them some supper just after school. Strike while the iron is hot. They eat healthy foods then snacks can pleasure them later. With my Beloved arriving home late (10 hour days our new norm.) eating when he first gets in the door is a must. Especially on Mondays. He hold a mens support group hear on Monday nights.
I am now eating for my type (see other post).
I told him I was not sure if he would like what I fix. He said ..."I will eat what you eat"
I celebrated and even lit the bbq (this would have been a lot harder to do if it were just for me).
Well I just saw it come together and I got the heart hugs for him, We even had a candle. The kids were sweet and gave us uninterrupted time.
Now this was for Him. As he walked in I set the foods on the table. The phone rang, a brother was on the phone and needed him (he was called from a store and needed the info, I told the guy we were just sitting down to a candle light supper...) Well Hubby had 20 minutes to spend 5 was on the phone. It was not for me it was for him. I began to feel a little less than treasured as the conversation swerved toward feet smelling, a burp and so forth (NO expectation, I entered this meal with no expectations). I found myself a little hurt. Then I just had this switch inside that thought about something he said about feeling empty. Well this was for filling him up. As custom the guy arrived 10 minutes early! so we scarfed the last few bites. The guy pulled up a stool and began to talk about dogs licking wounds and spider bite wounds and showing us his burn on his arm that his dog was licking! yuk!!!!!!!!
So I stacked the plates and remembered this was ironically testing me to think about WHO that meal was for. My husband hugged me and thanked me for the Meal and then the men went out to talk and listen hopefully to each other.

Synvisc knee injections

I got the bill today for the Synvisc shots.
It cost $706.08!,and guess what!
Insurance paid $706.08
I owe Nothing!
I only have a $15. co-pay x 3
isn't God Good!