Spiritual Sundays

Ephesians 1:9 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:

So many times we miss the Spirit in the daily of life, as if it were only to be found in the larger things of life. His will is in the day to day. The breadth is his our very breadth is his.
This moment by moment of who we are, right where we are.

This is who, what and where my week end has had me.


Friday I stopped to get a few groceries and the produce lady
gifted me with a big box of beans and lettuce for the chickens.

Now I had to make a decision and I went for it.
This weekend we are having a menu of hamburgers
I was looking to buy a tomato
Then I saw this organic heirloom big boy!
Oh look at the size of that thing.
Marveling at the amazing beauty...

2 pound!
Expensive yes at 3.99 a pound, most times frugality is my first name...
down from 5.99 because several of them were going past their prime!
This on was perfect!
I just never have had this opportunity
and for a special weekend treat I went ahead with it.

A saw it a gift to us.

I used the bumps as diced for supper salad.
These slices will be for the burgers today.
This is 4 slices!

This thing is solid meat!

I saved some seed
:)
Would that just be too cool if I could duplicate it?
That is an investment in itself.

While checking out at the register the cashier kept making error and was astonished at my calm response as were others behind me. We all have days...or make mistakes and the crowd behind was softer...we are HIS and how we example our Lord is spreading our Lords character to a world who is lost of example lost of training and just plain floundering in the consequence of it all.

Creating some beauty for myself...

I have been realizing (the hard way) how important this is.
Last week with great humiliation I realized how often my own beauty is ignored or set over on the curb in my busy life.
It is so important that I show the kids and my husband my beauty.
As vitally as it is that I see Myself how God sees me
in my outer reflection as well as my inner reflection.
So I have become a little more "time out for me" originated.


This is what I have been working on for myself all working on for myself
A new blouse a couple of weeks ago.
Trisha and I have matching tops.

I used filigree bead to compliment the lace.
I just noticed a need to restring my pattern is off.
That is not a problem it has not been finished off yet.

Yesterday again a day full of tending of souls.
We kept the little girl awaiting her mothers call all day...
no call...
at last around 3 p.m. I called her.
They were packing moving out of the rental house all day.
So we let the child rest her soul here and play.


Dash and I had a play date mid day and it was really nice.
The mom I met the other day when her and her boy were here.

Told her I would not just drop Dash off sorry...
So her and I had a (standing at a kitchen counter) visit for and hour and a half while the boys played.
She a single mom (ya all would be proud of this one) with a teenager too.

Get this her teenager went to the school of the child in the last post who had his life taken short...they were in classes together...her boy is broken up too.
Small circle the Lord has me present in this week end.
She is a woman who feels pulled to introduce her boy to God and Sunday school and such.
She raised Catholic is now searching...
The Catholic church she went too hurt her due to being single (divorced) they treated her as less than at least she seamed to express so.
She is doing amazingly and has single handed set up a home and life for her two well behaved boys.
She an adopted woman who is caring for her aged adopeted mom.
Funny....(I have a deep concern of this for my later years)
Now she has a sister who was also adopted who is Special needs...staying with the mom.
She also has a brother who was a biological to her mom.
This girl is caring for and making efforts to relocate the two of them closer to care for them.
I told her I hope my daughter turns out like her.
She felt the compliment deeply.


Dash and I stopped at a landscape nursery as per his request
I had thought to do so twice on the drive and set it a side.
I got some worm castings for the garden.
He looked at the beautiful plants.


He seems ill tonight.
Had an asthma attack, the girls are stuffy noses...oh boy...I think we might just have a virus in the house.
Something is getting the kids.

just kids having fun
They beaded as I worked and a big dinner was prepared.
Steve and I watched a few shows together and now the house is calming.
Kids are in bed.

Sunday Morning...

So the children at least Dash is ill 99.5 this morning.
Other kids seam ok. This after getting up from here several times looking to find the thermometer, looking for a paper of the reactions from the flu vaccine, looking to see what we need for lunch out of the freezer, tying childrens' necklaces, childrens' bracelets, calling to cancel the birthday party, calling to cancel the dinner plans we had to do a shared meal over at the grandparents... stopping my post to get up and to just make myself full available at that point...delegating the needed run to the deep freezer for the daily meals...
then this!

At the moment I feel angry because...

12 pounds of home ground,ground beef from one large roast
is now being hammered apart because the foil failed me! now last time the plastic wrap failed me, the time before that the waxed paper failed me and now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I did this meat I was so tired and just trying to get a job done.
I have to do individual 4 pack of 1/4 ponders in a gallon zip lock is the last choice.
I was trying to conserve...
Any Ideas?


This on top of the fact that I simply just wanted to sit down and have some down time just for me! Now Steve is just not able to see why I am so frustrated and it is as if I am just this aweful grumpy woman who lost her cool for no reason.
Ya know OVER REACTING! Oh! the life of a woman.
Then Archer who was told to hold her thought so I could just get a hold of mine...
when I get back to her to see what she had to ask said " mom, I was just going to ask if you took your pill"? exhale, calm smile and thanked her...walked away and sat down...
No I am a woman who was totally unplugged for 3 minutes hoping for 20 minutes of uninterrupted time.
Mad hatter with my hair down!

Spiritually the choice of blowing my top...or not
NOT

Oh the camera software all different too!!!!!

When that virus hit my computer it changed most of my work, lost all of my bookmarks (remember that is my brain)
and the whole of the machine is different!
Steve worked so hard and got me back up and if ya know my Steve he is an expert at such things. Yet still so much of my soft ware has changed.
so blogging is a sort of reminder that it will not come easy.


Alright ...calmed time to tie another necklace for a child.
alright I am all better I just needed some time for me.
I think a nice shower and them some beading.
Hope your weekend has been a good one.

An unexpected evening

Mesa neighborhood shocked over killings

September 20, 2009 - 5:44AM , updated: September 22, 2009 - 2:32PM

This evening I spent some time with the the best friend of the eldest boy in story.

Archer (Dove) asked to go help her little friend to go pack for they have to move by Sunday Morning.

I would not allow her to go there alone but a intervention of sorts today helped me walk into the evening. Earlier today the computer would not work so I mopped floors and heard God...

He told me of guarding Archer's heart a heads up of sorts...A do not push her into rebellion kind of sense.

So while hearing her phone call I was prepared to respond.

She came to me and asked if she could go help her friend pack up her bedroom. She expected for me to say no.

I told her that WE could go over together and take some boxes and packing tape and offer them our help. I told her that if at any time the (kicked out boyfriend) came we would leave that instant!

So the little girls packed up the bedroom and I offered help to the mom, meanwhile the boyfriends 16 yr old son came in kitchen and sat on the counter as I washed the pile of dishes.

He opened his heart up to me.

He has not told his dad or the little girls mother that his best friend was just killed.

Then he proceeded to tell me that he has witnessed three separate murders!

He has lived with so many different people all of his life even strangers. This is a sweet kid! He then said his mom has been in prison his whole life.

MOTHER OF MANY

I told him that non of those events were his fault.

He wants to hold on to faith.

He spoke of getting a tattoo of faith and courage on his shoulders.

NO ONE sees him. I sat and watched him as he danced hip hop in the empty living room. Oh he was just a child so young and forced to witness so many things. One who was as a dad to him killing himself after not being allowed to visit the boy when the so called uncle was high. This child blamed himself for it.

EVERY THING we go through is about God Being Glorified in His compassion's presence.

I have been looking at the lies I have believed about those who took their lives around me. My heart was prepared to help this kid. He would go away if the little girls mother came around. Then return to sit and spill his sore soul out to me in her absence.

I have the little girl here overnight.

She said that she only sleeps at her grandparents house and here.

At home she wakes every hour she said the house is haunted. She is so happy to move out of it.

PLEASE PRAY FOR

CODY

This was his best friend and he is being evicted with his dad this weekend. He is so old at 16 and yet such a sweet little boy of heart so so very lost in this terrible wide world. I told him to keep his heart and gave him my phone number if he ever needed a thread to hold onto.

Mesa police remain on the scene as they investigate a possible murder-suicide in the 2500 block of South Pennington in Dobson Ranch. Sept. 20, 2009.

Ralph Freso, Tribune

Ryan Mullaly, 15, and Nicholas Mullaly, 12

SUBMITTED PHOTO

A memorial is set up Sept. 21, 2009, in front of the Mullaly home in the Dobson Ranch neighborhood of Mesa. The two boys Nicholas, 12, and Ryan, 15, were shot in the house by their mother before she turned the gun on herself, police said.

Tim Hacker, Tribune

Neighbors on a quiet Dobson Ranch street say they are surprised following what police are calling a murder-suicide there Saturday night.

Mother and children dead in murder, suicide

A mother shot and killed her two teenage children and herself in a single-story home in the 2500 block of South Pennington, near Dobson and Guadalupe roads at 11:37 p.m., said Detective Steve Berry, a Mesa police spokesman.

Police identified the boys as Ryan Mullaly, 15, and Nicholas Mullaly, 12. The mother was Susan Mullaly, 50. The boys were students at Rhodes Junior High School.

Dozens of friends and classmates who knew the two boys gathered in front of the house in the Dobson Ranch neighborhood late Sunday with candles and balloons to remember their friends, who they knew well. Many hugged, wiped tears and told stories about them.

Berry said the woman's husband came home from work and discovered the bodies and went to a neighbor's house to call police. Berry said the couple had been having marriage problems.

Officers arrived to find the mother dead from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, and found the boys dead from apparent gunshot wounds as they checked the home.

At the home Sunday afternoon, an orange Dodge Ram sat in the driveway below a single basketball hoop.

Diane Retson, who said she has lived next door to the family for at least 11 years, described the boys as "very well-behaved, very well-mannered."

"They were typical kids," she said.

Retson said the family was "very nice." The mother was a nurse and the father works for an airline, she said.

Police knocked on her door after midnight asking questions, but Retson said she did not hear anything unusual Saturday.

Retson's son, Andrew Lybek-Martori, 21, was visiting his mom Sunday.

"When I used to live here, almost every day the boys rode their bikes through the street," Lybek-Martori said. "It didn't seem like there was a problem. The mom seemed overprotective, but what mom isn't?"

Clint Snyder, 34, lives down the street from the home. He said he often saw the father in the driveway working on cars. Snyder said he and his family have lived there more than 11 years.

"All in all, it's just a family neighborhood. It's pretty solid," he said, noting he did not know the victims' family well.

Cindy Wong and her family just moved into their new home Saturday, two doors down the street from the incident.

"From the neighbors coming out, it seems all the families know each other well," Wong said. "It's just quite a shock."

Where have all the Mothers Gone?

Garden morn

Good Morning!
Both yesterday and this morning I have had the privilege of a good 3 hours of healthy safe hard work.
The heat gave me leave for a mornings tasks.
The main plot began this morning ready to set to plant.
Yesterday I tended the beds and did get the turnips in before heat sent me in (the house)
I have discovered 88* in the sun seams to be my limit.
Once it gets up there I run out to fast and get to easily over heated.

The children for a second day have made request of a lift in the morning ...they say the bus is just too loud. While I am able I enjoy giving these little gifts to them. It does not appear any issue is at hand like a bully they just like a quieter start to the day.
Having been on those buses many a field trip an understanding and empathy has developed :)

While Archer is at school today presenting her paper on Amelia Earhart, the school is preparing for her IEP testing to get this sweet kid some help.
My hunch is that the stress of the work load at school might just be what is keeping her up at night. Throughout this wonderful essay of hers there are missing letters in words, lack of puncuation. She did go back over and capitalize things that she though might be supposed to be...capped. Oh Steve and I looked at her and let her know how proud of her and all the research she did, we had that silent grieving of ...oh this sweet kid has got a road ahead of her...we really are thinking she may not be able to go much past this grade...at least not main stream. Homeschool is not a real option right yet due to esteem she needs to be surrounded socially to shine, shine she does. She is so well loved by so many kids because she cares about others and is helpful and kind.
Just cover us thank you
and her. I do not want her heart crushed she must shine...that is who she is.
We will need all HIS wisdom.

So at my limit
Three hours later at 88* this is where I stopped.


BEE BLISS GARDENS post.

The extension beds are filled from Tuesdays $20. compost run to the farm.
Just gotta mix the soup so to speak.
The far left (south east) corner is readied for the Dill and the beets.
The beets soaked over night and are ready.
I just got to hot and so I had to stop a while.

It is the beginning of fall.
I began with a dream and so here with the beginning of fall the goals, although altered here and there are a prize. Now the fun part...planting and germination.
Fruit of the hard hard labor.
This was my heart to do. When my heart met a desire I let it ride. It made others uncomfortable at times. It has left the estate temporary a little less resalable (unless your a garden snob :)
Could you just emagine some day if this place was sold...a gardener would forever bless my name.
I have so many desires to beautify this estate. I hope that in time they will be recognized as beauty. I think perhaps that is of great concern to my husband. If we were to have to sell some day or if we choose to let it all go and travel.
I think perhaps I wish I were rich if not only for his relief.
Funny girls I would find all of this life and living a hard thing to let go of to go sit still or bemuse myself as it all went to dry twig and dust.

We will have to fulfill his/our heart to travel when it is fallow season and nothing need tending.
That would be a very sweet rest.
Dead of summer...
...but then the animals??????????

Next year this will be a much easier task.

Wish I had some red wiggler worms for the soil.

Waxed poetic did I.



I am just a woman of the earth!

Feet alive in soil soft .
Moist cool...living like me...
Planted earth connected.

A man of the sea
Flowing ebb and tide...
We met on the shore.

Became he land lover
tolerable yet
calls the sea..."come to me"

Flight longed to take
distant land to trod
his woman his children in hand.

Vines hold me tight lengthen cord
peace on distant isle
lands explore.

Exhaust in she the soils' call.
Quiet love of her earth
Cared for.

Distant lover waiting
When she returns
Reacquainted scorned.

So said the gardeners soul
Though life languish
hard panned abandoned

To hoe and till
Set soul to gain
Sweet earth black gold

once again.

by Donetta

Well best get back to other tasks.

All dolled up and nowhere to go

So instead of a stuffy court room at 7:30 a.m. I have my garden and my children

10 minutes before I was to exit the house this morning the court called ....again there has been another continuance on the trial for the lady who was up on the curb passed out in 2007 this is the 3rd continuance....now they have it set for the same day I am to get my knee shot. That or miss out on one day of camping (if I can get into the surgeon two days prior to set apointment?)
I am leaving for Florida to go to the retreat and need the injections to be able to walk freely...

I think the witnesses are just waited out. Most folks move away or forget what they saw...

I blogged it all that day and have documentation.
Check out the side bar the weather is perfect for gardening. The kids off in a half an our and i do hope the weather holds to make me able to plant this morning.

I hope you all have a good day.

A gift to you my Husband

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13

Tackle it Tuesday

updated

HEllo a lull in my tackled Tuesday mid day...
Archer had her flu inoculation yesterday followed by blood work up to make sure she is alright.
We are awaiting the lab results.
She suffers an inability to sleep.
This from early on has become an issue to attend to.
It looks like the sensory integration stuff mixed with the suicide of her cousin has left her a struggling.
She has also over the last 5 years had every best friend move away sweet thing needs a bit of help we think...

post script...the labs just came back normal so we now have to followup and set an appointment with a sleep physiologist.


This is the big accomplishment before 8 A.M.
Dishes that served well to tend to the preparations of...
Spaghetti
Beef Vegetable Barley Stew (scratch)
Smoky Paprika Chicken legs
Pancakes (scratch)
Breakfast cookies (scratch)
Eggs , popcorn, blueberry soy smoothies and well a few other afternoon snacks for the kids like.
Frozen french fries, apples and peanut butter....you got the idea
The sink was almost empty by alas Cookies baked and a lunch for me...
:)
They like the laundry all clean.
Like the Laundry just needing to be put away (shew)

Half of the cookies in oven by 8:15
Got an appointment to go get Dash his flu shot...
only to take that batch out to run Dan to the pediatrician for a Flu shot.

We drove the 20 miles to get the flu shot and Dash was awesome!

Then we stopped at a grocery to get some snacks
organic bananas, soy fudge cycles, organic cereal bars and a candy bar for good measure.

We then drove out to the farm where I had set arrangements to do so the other day and confirmed this morning.
I had not enough time to return the kids to school and with the seeds needed to be in the earth and tomorrow being the soonest I can do that well I had to tend to task.

The kids saw lots of horses and the woman gave fondness to them offering not only a three loads for the price of 2 when I go back, but when seeing the children gave them a ride on the back hoe to go park it. They had a lot of respectful fun. She also found favor on them and we will be returning in the winter for her good friend is a therapist and she said she would try to get the kids a lesson 2 for the price of 1. As in two hours each child for total of $50.
So we have something to save up for they are so excited.

When I have filled in the extension beds a thought of creating something like this on a much smaller scale here the gardens is a vision of mine.

we got this all unloaded and placed into the raised bed and on the main plots. All the family got into it. Archer helped push the load with the Daddy man, Dash help heard dogs and put the pot of barley stew out of the refrigerator and onto the burner and turned it on.
We were all finished at 7:30!p.m.
Tired all of had a nice celibration of family team work and a bowel of soup.
Kids have showered and I await my turn as they are brushing teeth.

I dropped the kids at the school to see Dash's teacher and she overjoyed to know that I was still planning on keeping my word to teach her students reading this afternoon.
With Dash out this morning she had become concerned. Archer said "Mom that teacher really likes you!" It is nice to be well though of I told her.

Makes me think of something Dash said to me on the right. We spock on our ride about grown ups =kids in a big body, Adults = big people who have learned lessons to be indipendant...then I mentioned there are also Adults who are men and women of honor....he asked "can their be grown ups of honor?"

Yes I told him they have hearts to choose what is right but have yet to learn their lessons on how to choose wisely.

Dash then paused...he asked "are you and dad Adults of honor?"
Said I " We try real hard to be but sometimes we act more like grown ups..."

He said "Mom I think your more honorable than Dad sometimes...."

Say I "at times like this morning when I lost my temper I was more of a grown up than an adult...We all have many lessons to learn even when we grow up."

I was deeply tapped at that comment of his. Oh my dear husband I know he is an honorable man...his choices have been hard while he grows through the wounds of his heart.

I am glad that they see me that way...but how humbling and what a gift to hear him say so.

Well momentarily I go to teach 3rth graders the art of reading.

Oh this was so fun today! I had 7 kids and I taught them the riding of the horse cadence of a period telling the horse to stop (fist in palm), a comma is a wowwa horse and (pulling on the reins.)

shrug the shoulders at a question mark and spray your fingers ax the exclamation!
We all kept the "ponies in a row and throttled each other when one got to racing or forgetting to tame his horse...It was so fun!
I'll work with some kids with greater difficulties next time.
This method raised the kids scores 50% last year in Dove's (Archer's) class.


so off to the shower for I do smell like all those pretty ponies after unloading the truck.
:)


I will come play once I am clean.
Later when I return...
Hand washing this for the trial that begins on Thursday where I testify regarding that woman I found passed out up on the curb car running...that was in Aug of 2007

Several lay outs
Christmas is fast upon us folks....

Supper of course and the many loads of clean laundry to hang and put away
The many clean dishes to put away as well.

Then the mulch to unload and the gardening to prepare for in the (first) cool early morning tomorrow.

Peace grab you and throttle you back into it's presence ya all!

Time to go instill some wonder into those early readers!

Full Military Honors

I am told that...


Uncle Clyde Will have right to have full honor burial at any military cemetery including Arlington Cemetery in D.C.
( which is reserved for the very few)
if the family so chooses.
It takes time to arrange.
So the ceremony in the desert this weekend was to honor is memory.

He was one of the first 6 men to land on
Okinawa Japan.
In March, 1945, the first American troops landed on the Kerama Islands as the springboard for America's island leapfrogging strategy. Okinawa was next in line and, on April 1, 1945, the invasion began. After 11 weeks of fierce fighting, the battle of Okinawa was over June 20, 1945. Two months later Japan surrendered. Okinawa was one of the longest and hardest fought campaigns in the history of World War II. Total American battle casualties were estimated at 49,151, including 12,500 killed or missing. Japanese soldiers killed were about 60,000 while one-third of the Okinawan population, about 150,000 died in the "Typhoon of steel."
This before there was even such a thing as the Special Forces.
To secure the island for the American troops.
He saved countless American lives.

Spiritual Sunday

here

At Last it is mid afternoon and I have come here to be with you.

Each season of new beginnings offer us a chance to come away
to begin anew.

This afternoon everything is new here on my machine.
With all the efforts of my Wonderful Talented Man still it is "new".

Each day is new.

At first all this newness was just better than nothing...
Then it all became a bit of an annoyance...
Settling into a grateful...be patient...
let it takes it's time...chomping at the bit...
sorta wait and see what all is in store.

At the loss of the old
will be found a flurry of emote.

It was in that flurry of emote...five minutes before we were out the door (to the funeral) that I kicked a drawer closed only to slip off the wood and have my big toe say
"hello, boy howdy"!
to the razor sharp edge of the glide under the drawer.
As the saying goes "like a stuck pig!"

Calling for Steve to come help I did my best to get across the bedroom carpet
before turning the rose colored carpet a very living blood red!...

This fine Saturday found me not only without my computer,
but at a funeral without the presence of a family patriarch.
One who lived just long enough that it was known by him to be HIS time to move on.
However even when change comes in OUR time
it will often have an effect on "times"
of those who step around us.
They must walk it on their own.

Such the case at the of memorial service.

Hobbled I across the desert cobbled with stone to find me a seat.

The service was in the low desert.
Where the path our Uncle was trod many a day
with many a soul and several a child,
son/daughter both his own and those who were in/law.
He traveled those washes with many
...even Grandchildren I think I heard.
Those who were friend to his own children learned the camp fire
and the hunt
some remembering him to even never of pulled the trigger of his gun
only to set at the fire
the silent sage of an open accepting ear.

He was an American Hero of the WWII era, 82 at his end.
A silent man who spoke volumes to me as over the years I kept eye on him across the crowd at family function.
His Eldest son spoke his story.
He expressed with pride the struggle of Dear Old Uncle Clyde.
One made of shame of his Comanche heritage.
He was born and raised a native Arizonan.
Then even with a stronger sound voiced of smashing shame
the man said..."and of some negro blood in their history as well".
This was shadowed...a family that must have found great rejection from others.
How awful to love and long to be loved only to know that the color of ones heritage colored the views of others... peppering the beauty of that love due.
It is often in our trial that our strength is gained.
He was proud of his pa.
His Pa had a way of making a man proud through his unconditional love.
This a legacy spoken over and over.
For after the eldest son spoke others told of what was on their hearts.

His wife asked of me please,
to tell of what I had said to her of his silent wisdom.


Of how much I had gained.
So it was I who broke that awkward silence.
When asked of the assembly if any had something of heart to speak.
Funny thing for her to ask of me
please to speak.

I wore my feathers in honor of Clyde for I always felt I could be at ease to be me around him.

For I think I might have been silent in the mass
For I am from a bit of a distanced family corner.

Although we had set arrangements ahead of time for a mom and her child to come over,
we were compelled to attend the assembly of family at Clyde's welcoming home.
He was the heart of a farmer.
Story told of chicken laid egg in his lap.
Funny it is that I too had this with my own hen and understand that safe place we provide.
Now Clyde was a man who I suspect was judged also of his faith by others.
Seeing though the love hearing the testimony of his son I know otherwise.
Clyde lived his faith in the love showed to those who might otherwise be excused as perhaps...unlovely.
Over and over testimony of those who said so...
Many so softly as if to give voice to it was painful ...
Uncle Clyde loved.

At the service spoken out was the relief of a distanced broken Christian.
Of how he felt so much better to have come to have known at Clyde's Death that he believed in Jesus as Lord.
How it hurt to hear such devastatingly hurtful explanatory divisive word exposed..
From the heart the mouth speaks.

Yet be it so many a man responds absent to another out of presuppositions.
Divided by dogma and judgments.
Death come too late for it to be known that error of holiness false.
Boundary by need of character or behaviors is one thing...
That ploy of the darkness that can work its way into our midst and remove love of a sister or a brother and replace it with tolerance and defamation.
Letting that stop our fellowship among the land of the living.
Not that I have been immune but have been made more aware.

The plans of our day were fluid.

After the desert time many came to be at the widows home to repose,

comfort one an other and continue to live.
He who passed was yet apparent in the atmosphere that circled that welcoming table.
My little family the only show from Widows side stood were there for her.
It was a pronounced absence for all around us were those who knew each other well.
Though some were silently distanced...
perhaps in their wound,
yet they were there.
This impressed me as Clyde lived on here in this home.
In that circle that went on four generations around us.


One of his son who at service silenced his voice when over spoken...
returned to the home sometime later.
His heart hurt that his word was left unsaid.
This man at that instant was imprinted upon me for I saw the hurt occur.
It hit him HARD!
Came I up to him placed my hand on his heart and said I
"I saw it, hurt you"...
Said he "you saw?" ...
"yes" said I.
With great swell of throat choked he...
"thank you for seeing me"

Telling him he mattered...
he assured me he would say his words.
He promised not to let silent the soul.
For he must be heard that bitterness the loss of opportunity would haunt him.
Telling him I know of this torment, wished it not for him to have the rest of his days.
He promised to speak it to the widow his mother before the days end.
He embraced me and thanked me softened by kindness.
He then was across the room with darkened sunglasses on
anger gone from his countenance was replaced with appropriate sorrow.


Now it was that I found embraced by Clydes eldest son told
"Donetta, you belong...you will always belong here with our family"
Oh my how deeply was I touched...
Our Dear Widowed Aunt did say of fondness to me...she reads my blog.
She told me that from time of her girlhood she has read as a voracious reader
that I am a good writer.
To write said she.

I told many of how it has been made known to me through so so many a death I have known...
"Those who go on before us, stand at the right hand of God ever interceding for us both day and night"

This has been of great comfort to me.
It is always of my hope it might comfort another.


Each season of new beginnings offer us a chance to come away
to begin anew.




A child began a new this morning here in our home.

With the mutual support.
The respect, trust in me... a mother gave chance for a child to overcome.
A sweet little girl who so longed to be free.
The torment she suffered as PTSD stopped her in her tracks.
Understanding how it is to live breath with stifled breadth I had wisdom to offer.
This little one was empowered last night to speak her voice to ask for met need to overcome.
I gave her my late night offering up a chance for her to be successful.
She had known abuse fear from those who had once kept her.
She told of how her fear rooted by a voice in a hall demanding
"GO TO SLEEP!"
When once of necessity sh was away from her mothers care.
We used care to give her an ice block to keep her present and in control of her senses.
We used nature sounds and lights.
While watching my show I left sound up a bit.

She awoke this fine morn to Dash
"Wake up! You did it! you did it!"
A little child with a new name.
Dove was so happy for her friend to be made free of the fear that tied her up into literal tummy knots.
A child now who knows that she will... and is being made able.
She stood with our hands holding her up.
She now sees herself more for who she really is.
Not the fear of what she thought she had become...unable.

It is in life's new beginnings that LOVE is made power and the power of Love is made able to transform.

In the garden

The three children joined me in the garden.
We worked a team for a while.
They chopped the dirt clods for me.
They then were set to task of finding little insects in the straw pile.
They were then set to give them to the hens, they then understood another beginning.
Seasons, for every living thing.
The hens lay egg more after the good protein of the rolly pollies.
At first a tad bit gross but then they understood.
It gave then tenderness toward the birds that it filled their belly their need.
The insects caught laid down the life to the bird , the bird then made way gave laying it's own life down to egg for us to eat.

Later in the morning another new beginning

All the while the efforts to restore this Machine
(I pour myself into)
were painstakingly made by my dear husband.

Dash came home to me with a phone number last week.
His heart was to offer friendship to a pal in his class.
As is my custom his lovely Mother came to visit the morn as the boys played.
It is so good to know the Mother of a child.
If a child is in my care I want to understand the parent of said child.
Caring for someone else s child to me is a great responsibility not taken lightly.

A wonderful woman came and we really hit it off.
She was adopted, so many of my found new friendships often have this common ground.
We all had meal together and this sweet busy single mom got to rocking the rocking chair while lunch was made and she left a bit more rested then when she came.

I took the Mother to the gardens and showed her the efforts being made.
Told her of the insects gathered and the hens.
Had her gather with her hand the egg that we had gift of from the hen.
Her hand tender and a bit fearful of holding the egg...so I left that egg in her hand as we were speaking of decor and walking and talking together. Then it relaxed as I told her that the egg was hers. That it was for her to eat the egg she had taken from the hutch. I saw then in a moment a kindred spirit in her soft eye. She touched a bit excited at the chance. She then was told only to her did it belong for her meal.
To enjoy.

New beginnings often take reaching out...
Getting out of the comforts of pulling away or within ones self...
We extend then receive often much more than we even give.
Each season of new beginnings offer us a chance to come away
to begin anew.