Thankful Thrusday

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This Evening...
I give pause to a moment of catch up.
I give pause in the gratitude of this odd day.
Here at the Life Uncommon another uncommon day...

May I tell you about it.
Humbly I admit that I had a real struggle ....
This Morning I awoke tired for My darling pulled a 14 hour day yesterday and we ended it with a very long drive to deliver a gift of kindness across town I really wanted it to be there.
This was a pull up to a curb and drop of an arrangement of flowers for my SILove who had a successful (it appears) surgery yesterday.

So after the early morning duties

I had some a clearing of confusion with amends of my error in a miss communication.
I found myself in some prayer as last night too, was I in prayer over said miss communications. I really grieve anytime I hinder someone.

My day started off in prayer over this and a dear friend who faced a ct scan today.

So on the sofa sat I with my two kids watching the Price Is Right and vegging a bit, so much so that Dear Dash offered me a pillow and covered me with a blanket...sweet little boy.

My life is far from perfect

and there are times where here in this paradise :)
I too like you must face my own challenges and slay my own dragons.
Wielding my own swords over the life of my loved ones
and those who are placed in my path.
There are even times when I have to stand up for what I believe in
and not be too popular for it.
It is not all glamorous and beautiful.
Yet oddly that really is the beauty in it.

When I live it though
in comparison with my youth yep...

boy howdy it is pretty perfect
for I am safe,
I belong
with a great purpose
and competencies
I can live my life and the hard times pale so
(even when any other might see them they would be FAR from easy)
yet do I celebrate this life.

I guess I do not speak of the trials too much for it is just that I have this perspective...
that
This too shall Pass

That even if and when
it is so difficult...
there must be an opportunity for me to humble myself or grow or offer up myself to help another.
Even medical tragedies like threats of health or life...
Over and over I have witnessed that everything turned out alright ...
within days I will need to really help another who has not had the good news.

Yet becoming intimate with the threat somehow I can comfort with the comfort I have been comforted with by God.

This life is FARR from perfect but
it is not my own.

I have been bought with a price and have given it away to love.
Love then has overridden all of the hardships and threats from torture to Alzheimer's

So today fatigue and a heavy wherry mind and heart over friendship strained I vegged on the sofa.

When into my world came the door bell quite unexpectedly for the house was well....lets say well lived in :)
First thought is they came here unannounced they must feel free with me so I let down my embarrassment and greeted a neighbor (who drives me bonkers!).
This dear woman so wounded that she appears to act "better than thou" when in fact it is her insecurity and need to feel good about herself that causes this behavior.

So I sat at the dining table with her while folding clothing all the while praying in my mind for the endurance to be patient with her and just let her talk to be heard.
Each thing she spoke could easily be taken an insult and I chose moment by moment to hold my tongue.
At one point she finally pushed it a bit too far... Expressing a "well why not...why can't you afford it?"...
I hung in there and after two hours she was then opening up about the real reason of her visit
I sat with her and watched her change her tone
understand her tone
see her wound
and receive unconditional love from me
that pulled it up out of me Toes!
She then sat at my table asking question after question regarding changing her responses to life and changing her control,
bossiness and self willed determination.
Seeing that it was not her heart but her learned behaviors
I am so thankful that some how I hung in there and confronted behaviors while loving her so much that she could hear.
She studied litrature I had on the developmental needs of a human
applied it to herself and to her son.

I am worn out a bit.
I see though that no one had ever really loved her enough to speak candidly and stand up to her behaviors without attacking her.
She had no Idea of how she came off...
she was saying how good she was because she felt to inadequate and bad about herself

She needed that badly to be acknowledged that it came out of her own mouth.

Somehow I saw that having known a little of her story.
I told her how proud I was of her...
that she then responded in a negative of how she really has a lot of work to do to restore her self to her son...

I told her today is today

"This day I am proud of you...
you showed a lot of character to be honest enough to say that you see your controlling lecturing behavior and you want to learn to do this custody battle for your son and not to win over your ex husband."

she looked at me and said yes...
today is today...
to which I added

"I am proud of you"

It takes great courage to be exposed
fears of rejection
"if they really knew me inside ?"

I was loved
within me is the choice to love.
Was it easy
NO
:)

It sorta wore me out It took a lot of mental energy to stand up to defensivness and excuses that later became a humor of truth to her.

but her son....
just maybe she will be a little better able to be restored to him before it is to late.