Tackle It Tuesday

I am so delighted to go to therapy for my neck. YA! Friday's appointment was canceled due to me just being over done and hoping to save up some of my medical benefits. I do not want to use it all up in the first two months of the year.My, my I am so looking forward to getting out of pain again.

Therapy was great. I stopped by the library and got a few books on staging a home to sell and on buying/selling.
Had a lovely visit with a little 16 month old child who walked right up to my and grabbed my finger and showed me a tree, bird. The mother who was on a cell phone closed her call and the three of us walked around and spoke of the parenting techniques that have help me so much. Sign language, giving a choice of 2 things within the parents parameter and so on it was sorta humbly invigorating to openly and easily share with this very teachable beautiful young woman. The child was very endearing too.

Maybe some if I feel a little better. I am having a hard time breathing .
I want to finished up the projects that are undone here so I can pack up the last of the beads. I did so well today once I remembered that I am doing this out of the power of choice not the consequences of error or ill fortune. We put the boxes out in the garage last night with all the others.
I finished up the living room. Putting two painting up that are natural made for a nice setting.

Perhaps I'll pack up the rest of the sewing desk. Fabrics are such a love affair. Patterns are like playing cards I can never have too many :) Of course that is not
true. These patterns will be sold or given.
For out in the garage is the collection of those patterns that were found in the dumpster. One time a long time ago I had visited a fabric store and found myself gazing at Patterns and happened to say..."God It would be so cool if..." Well... the if... is so, I have over a hundred new patterns. I have passed so many of them out and yet they are like blooming flowers always popping up. Well I have a filing cabinet to pack with all the jewelry business stuff.

In here I have my display boards

for the Gallery and also the

Packaging materials and gift boxes. I'll be all set up once I get life to that point:)

I have a lot invested here.

I have lacked the belief in myself to pull it through. I trust that one day that will change.

This Hayworth four drawer office filing cabinet was a gift of sorts when the old plant shut down, the sold stuff real cheep at auction. When I empty it I am going to consolidate all of the file in the other two cabinets. I think we may need to sell my sewing desk :( It is very large) I will use the file cabinet that has two drawers to hold my patterns from the desk.

This is the pink storage cabinet for the laundry soap and such. When my type of detergent and soap is greatly reduced I get several and store them Saves a lot of money.

Laundry has yet to even be touched. I think what is going to happen is that the favorites will all be in the wash and that will make it easier to shed some of the things in our closet.

I would like to change the linens on the big bed this week too.

I might try to tackle the garage a little?? By packing up things.

I desire though to get all the boxes up out of the hall floor.

Dishes and a nice meal aught to do it :)

Of course all of this must wait another day. I must rest.

I remembered who I am...

I saw myself doing this simple task. After washing the glass The China that I chose when we were married a few years has been placed alone in the hutch. This presented a beautiful image. The white of the dishes really made the walls look pretty.

I remembered who I am in the lyric...
"NO longer lend your strength to those things that you wish to be free from"
I apologize to all of you for my laps in focus. I began to focus on all I was letting go of and giving up. Please excuse me.
I am gaining a greater purpose
I am no longer gong to give my strength to the debt of this ownership of this home.
Once I awoke to this truth again...
I was then able to do what I saw myself doing next...

Before

Before

after

after

Nine boxes later...
My Beloved Husband reminded me also that he understands that this is a part of WHO I am and that there will be a place for my bead and jewelry making in the next house. I believe in this part of who I am so much so that I am going to give my strength to shutting this down temporarily while we move. I am also planning (for the first time in my life ) to follow my dreams of continuing my education in this field as soon as we settle and the funds become available.
I will be investigating lapidary and mettle working in the fall semester. I also will be receiving some tutelage in jeweling and beading techniques.
I will lend my strength to it.
As well as gardening:)

I danced today as I listened to the "life Uncommon" song. I felt so free to receive the beauty that is the choice to be free

“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV)

This is an excerpt from a devotional I was sent today. I thought it was so good I just had to share it.

Speaking of a book the author had read she said "In its pages, Vanauken shared one of the key elements of his and Davy’s profound love."...

“Look,” we said, “what is it that draws two people into closeness and love? Of course, there’s the mystery of physical attraction; but beyond that, it’s the things they share. We both love strawberries and ships and collies and poems and all beauty, and all those things bind us together. Those sharings just happened to be; but what we must do now is share everything. If one of us likes anything, there must be something to like in it – and the other one must find it – every single thing that either of us likes. That way, we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together. Then we shall be so close that it would be impossible - unthinkable – for either of us to suppose that we could ever recreate such closeness with anyone else. And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty, but on the fact of a thousand sharings – a thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable.” (Sheldon Vanauken, A Severe Mercy (New York: Bantam Books, 1977), 27)

Vanauken beautifully described the unbreakable bond that exists between intimate lovers and friends. In another book, he warned of creeping separateness that can threaten that oneness.

There is such a thing as creeping separateness. What do young people who are freshly married do? They can’t rest when they’re apart. They want to be together all the time. But they develop separate interests, especially if they have separate jobs and some separate friends. So, they drift apart. Soon, they have little in common except, maybe, the children. The stage is then set for one of them to fall in love with someone else. Later they’ll say the reason for the divorce was that he/she fell in love with someone else, but it wasn’t that at all. It was because they let themselves grow apart. ( Sheldon Vanauken, quoted in 601 Quotes About Marriage and Family, Compiled by William and Nancie Carmichael (Wheaton, Ill: Tyndale, 1998) 80).

I think this is just wonderful advice. We have fallen into this habit. I think I want to focus on it a bit more in my own marriage and friendships with my children.

I had a wonderful time this morning with Dash as he read a book on Jellyfish to me and we explored Google for images of jellyfish. It was very tender.

Fun Monday

This weeks Fun Monday is being hosted by Mariposa's Tales. Here is the assignment she gave us:

"I'll only be asking TWO things-

(1) Please share to us how the NAME of your BLOG was made? I can't wait to hear interesting funny stories!

(2) Please share to us (in words or photo, though a combination of both will be a bonus!) your favorite/ most common dish!"

1...A Life Uncommon was created from the theme song of my life. It is a song by JEWEL from her "spirit" CD
JEWEL LYRICS

"Life Uncommon"

Don't worry mother, it'll be alright
And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep tight
It'll be fine lover of mine
It'll be just fine
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And you shall lead a life uncommon
I've heard your anguish
I've heard your hearts cry out
We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out
set down your chains, until only faith remains
Set down your chains
And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that
which you wish to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon
There are plenty of people who pray for peace
But if praying were enough it would have come to be
Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves
To hear our voices ring out clear
with sounds of freedom
sounds of freedom
Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way
there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith
To live, we must give
To live
And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend our strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead...
Lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend our strength to that which we wish to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon

Now regarding the line.."There are plenty of people who pray for peace,
but if praying were enough it would have come to be" So that I am not mis-understood. Prayer is my breath it is essential, I believe that is is as crucial that we live our lives in relationship with God our maker. He is not a "Gennie in a bottle" to me to pray to. He is my friend and my first Love. I want to be pleasing to him. I do not want to be a Christian Victim, I chose (it is my heart) to be a Victorious Christian.
2. Pei Wei is a restaurant that serves fresh stir fry. I love love love! Mongolian Beef with added vegetables and stir fried rice with vegetables. YUM!
It is a savory dish
The thinly slice beef tenderized and stir fried after (being tossed with corn starch?) a wonderful savory sauce and vegetables of snap peas, carrots ginger and broccoli and such very good.
The rice has cubed carrots and peas and bean sprouts, little bits of scrambled egg...soo good.
The best part of it is that I share the company of my husband or a good friend when ever I get to have some.

Sunday Smiles

The Big board is down...This is really happening!:)
All of you who know me know I'm serious now! HA!

I'll transcribe it to the one over here for now.

Mr Uncommon got the hall detailed it is so beautiful. It is the first faint job on it other than when the house was built. It really needed it.
Well plans change. No date today ...arg!
Dash Hawk has been annoyed with his eyes so much that all the rubbing has made him vulnerable to Pink Eye (again) it was just a month or so ago that we went through this. He is always rubbing them poor baby. So we have let go of a date alone and reached out to the date that is today and are enjoying the family time we so treasure.

Dove and Dash are doing art, of course so am I and Daddy Man. You know I am really enjoying it. We sketched first and then got out the pain. It is so fun to do this with them.

Dove has me do the detail and I am teaching her about brush loading and control. Paint mixing and such as well. Making tone and giving the color value.

I taped off the "pepto pink" kids bathroom. I had the maroon and some white left over with a bit of the light green and had mixed it all together and found this. I would not have chosen pink but it really needed the paint on it when I painted it several years back. It must get knocked out! So I taped. We will do an hour of cut in

We ound this cool space between the walls where the medicine chest goes, it had old rollers and a box and junk in it.

Look who is having fun with Lego's. I was taping and painting the Arabian Desert with Dove.
Feed the kids .
Off to the hockey time.

Phot Hunt *wood*

Tagged *Seven random things about me???

NOW I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BY... "Just a Mom" Jaye,


Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
Post “The Rules” on your blog.
Post seven weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
Tag seven people and link to them.
Comment on their blogs to let them know they’ve been tagged.

1. I like Green tea (hot) with sugar in the raw. This is my new coffee. I love coffee and it does not like me. If I drink very much of it, it sends the PH off in my body and my joints hurt real bad. I then look like a much older woman when I try to rise from a seated position. So green tea! it has become the caffeine of choice.

2. When I dig in the dirt it is like I can feel the electricity of life surge into and out of my body. I just do not know how better to describe it. I am so looking forward to beloved having the raised beds made for me in the next home we have. I should never of let go of gardening so easy. When the endometriosis crippled ( I had end stage over 6 major surgeries. I tried for many years to wait it out so I would not have have the radical hysterectomy and be on hormones for as long a lifetime) me for so many years I had to stop. When I dig in the dirt it is one thing that can make me cry. I feel a huge release like pent up charge leaves me and I can rest in my emote.

3. Sometimes weird words will come out of my mouth like today I called Dove another name while speaking to Hubby about her, or I called a friend (a male) by a girlfriends name. I could not get his name to come to my mind. It is weird and a hassle that I am becoming better humored about.

4. I have not shopped for clothing for myself in a very long time. I just wore what I received except if I found an item on clearance. I now see that it needs to matter. I just never thought it did because it paled in the importance of everything else I had duty to do.

5. Every morning when I first gain awareness I say hi to God, My Papa God. I say "I love you". That is how I start my awake time and at night it is what I say before I sleep. When I am in a trial or good time. I center myself with "I love you, God" that is my center. It came from Psalm 91 ..."because I set my love upon God" ...it is what I read in a Bible I found on my teller window on the eve of my 20th birthday. I was going to commit suicide the night I accepted Jesus as who he is John 3:16. My life turned around in a whirlwind of events.

6. I have a great deal of knowledge about wild North American birds. I was a birder before children. I fed and attracted many species in my garden at the other house before this one. I even had hawks. One day in a town named Cave Creek I had a little bat ( although not a bird) fly right into my hand and I held it. It was so cool! I have raised mice before and the bats feet felt like little mice feet. I have also held a wild humming bird in my hands, wild pigeons have landed so many abreast on my arms that they were hard to hold up, and have had the honor of a mother mallard sit beside me on the grass beside a lake and draw her clutch of a dozen yellow fledglings right up to my thigh. They all curled up with the sweet webbed feet tucked up under and slept until some untrained and un-restrained child came running up tho us. I really wish parents taught kids to respect nature. I teach this to every child I encounter. I do not like letting kids maltreat animals. I am ashamed of myself when I am unkind to my dogs.

7. In the almost 26 years ( March 20 the first day of spring) I have been married, I have never lusted after another man. I have kept my eye to my husband he is my best friend. Even during the hardest challenges that has never been an option to me by will and by choice. I have not really ever allowed the eye a chance for temptation. For this I am grateful because I cheated on a boyfriend when I was 19, and never got over how low I felt about myself. I vowed I would never fall in that again. I really respect that in others too. That shows me how much they hold value to their own Character. That shows me that they love them self enough to keep true to them self. To their vows. No judgment here just respect where it is due.

1. "life goes on"
2. "Little Red Hearts"
3. "Shorty Bear"
4. "talk to grams"
5. "Living Life and Loving every minute"
6. "Spider Lady"
7. "Photo Daughter of the King"

Wheels removed :) A day of rest!

Tonight I am rested...

Thank you all for your loving prayerful consideration. I took the day off today ...on purpose!
We had a train wake me up at 6 a.m. I had not taken the medications the day before for the swelling thing and I neglected the hormones at night, so my head was begining to kill me. I repented the laziness of neglect got up ate, and took my medications. I fed the dogs (so the house could sleep), and went back to bed after a lovely visit with Dash who told me that when ever he sees someone ware polka dots or stripes they make his eyes wiggle and feel funny. I am careful not to make anything of these things to him just keep the conversation free and easy. We spoke for a while while I lay on his bed with him. He told me that all it seems I do is work "its like your a working machine Mom"...
Then a visit with Dove and I was off to bed again. I lay on my beloveds chest and just felt secure. After he got up I laid in bed until 9:30! Wow that felt great!
Dove and I sat together as I (suffered through youth t.v.) enjoyed her company and she curled up to me. It was my heart to stop and give each child intimate attention.
I got dressed and then we were off to Hockey! It was so fun to see the kids play and learned. The Phoenix Coyote (the mascot in costume ) came onto the ice and played with each child a little. The children were wanting to just stay home. Daddy Man and I felt strongly to have them complete the commitment to the program. Boy are we all glad we went.
We have the last day of the program tomorrow. They will have one last time on the ice.
We decided to play with the children after the hockey. We took them for taco's and then we went to a local pizza joint (food is expensive there) and just let them each have $4 to spend on the coin operated games. The tubes are free for them to play in. They were very disappointed when they learned we would not be getting the $9 each wrist bands for the rides. I read "Corey's post" N is for... MUST READ, and just let them know I understood it was hard not to get that privilege but that was the best we could offer. The children rallied and we all had a nice time. The game they played was a success and the were winners 4x's and finished out with over 500 tickets and choose to share their winnings. They were content and tired.

When I arrived home a dear friend ( Thank you Julie :) had called begging a play date with the kids. So I drove them over and after a short visit I decided I was not going to drive all the way home for an hour of work time and just stayed on that side of town.
YES ME>>>I took the late afternoon off!
I tried on clothing at a store...Yes I do really want to take better care of my body...as I lovingly looked at my neglected reflection:) Then I found some shoes for the children, and then after I retrieved them I took them back and was able to get new shoes for them. 2 pair of shoes on clearance "stuff mart" and at Pay less shoes they have a buy one and get the other half off. The 1 pair was reduced and the other was1/2 off.
Dove had yet to have her prayer for a High School Musical jacket answered....God is not silent... as we were walking out of "stuff mart" with only a pair of shoes each. It was then that Dove saw a jacket no price on it..???$12.YES!! God answered her hearts desire! It was the only one and it was just hanging off a cart.
On the way back to the car I listened to my heart. I went back to the clothing store and got a new pair of lacy yellow panties to celebrate being (feeling) beautiful.
I took the children to supper and got a free supper for Beloved because they messed up my meal. COOL!
So I got them home. Daddy Man had 4 hours alone in his home! This was the first time he has been home alone ...well in as long as I can remember. He enjoyed the quiet too. He painted the hall, it looks beautiful. I gave him his supper to his delight. It is now story time. Children are falling fast asleep.

I did not work today.
My neck still feels like the wheel is on it though :)
The children have hockey tomorrow and then beloved and I get to have a late afternoon Date, as My Friend "Life in the Midst..." Michelle is watching the children so beloved and I can have a supper (that gift card that was given to beloved) and her children and our children (who have been begging a play date with each other for some time) will have a play date together.

"Connie" He is awesome... It was nice to be off the wheel for a few hours.
"Photo Daughter"and, "Cynthia" ..... Thank you your right there is other explanations too consider.
I will call the CRS doctors for Dash on Monday.
Photo daughter make contact with "Just a Mom" she wants some pampered chef

A gift from Jaye

Thanks for the encouragement

I am better tonight I went out to a party at a dear friends home. "Photo Daughter". I was met and encouraged by her and by Michelle "Life in the midst" and by Lisa B. It was good to be with you Lisa. Thank You Michelle for letting me vent today, and Trisha for getting all of us girls out to have some fun. I felt a bit not like myself tonight I hope that I did not cast a cloud or anything. Trisha your friend did a great job. If anyone needs Pampered Chef you can find "photo daughter" on my side bar.

Guys I gotta tell ya...
I have to get a hold of Dash's doctors at CRS. I am very stressed out over his reports of being dizzy and his room and his class room spinning. I am afraid (my trust is shaky). My dear Cynthia "walking on" has shown great courage and poise, her beauty is divinely inspired. I do not want to see my son in that light. I know it may be nothing yet with all the other stress with moving it feels too huge. I blew it off this week in denial and I must tend to it next week. Please pray for Cynthia and her children, and for my Dash. This is becoming re-recurrent for him. It is probably just fine.

My whole self got too tired. The old wheel on the hamster...ha I meant hamster on the wheel but that fits too. Dyslexics untie!

gardening woes...on moving

I dug in the earth at the side yard and tapped into the deep soil that I am made off.

gardening woes...Wow I am in a hard place emotionally today.
I am in the grieving of moving in that season of grief where anger is stirred. I am mad that I need to take time out in my life to box all of my life up too wait for the next home to live again. I am going to have to break down the kids art stuff and it is hard for me to do. It is a job that I have had challenges with all along. I have tried all the tricks I know of and no matter what it is just a hassle and a mess. These drawers are the bane of my husbands existence. Mine also, in some ways. Who ever designed these drawers made junk! they do not stay in the slots and all alteration and repair proves futile. I have to let go or store the things I do keep some how. The kids just destroy all the organization I effort. I have just thrown up my hands in frustration. I hate not having it the way I like. Organized. Kids do not organize, mine don't.
each drawer is labeled!


I went out to the side yard and pulled weeds. I am so angry that I stopped gardening too. I am just a mess today! I turned the soil and was just empowered with my hands in the dirt. I felt so much frustration at ignoring the very core of who I am in this. I NEED to garden and have my hands int the dirt! This is a priority in the next house! I must have some raised beds. I am angry that the stinosis (narrowing of my spine) in my low spine will not allow me to work the earth the way I want too! I can not kneel either because of my knee!
I must have earth to dig in and grow flowers in. It felt so good in my hands that it stirred up anger that I had neglected this part of who I am for so so long.


I packed all my cook books today with the echoes of my husbands voice telling me I could find all I need on line (he really did not say this I just thought it) . I love the possessions of book! I am nuts! I rarely pick one up but I am crazed at putting them in boxes. I am addicted to my stuff, Lord help me. I know He is teaching me, but it is not comfortable and I am imperfect and venting!

My Son is wanting a party and I know I'll have to do it at a park because it will be the easiest way to do it. I am going to miss the house and all the crazy social stuff it brings. I have pride living here. It is a pride that comes with ownership of a large fancy house. It is a real thorn right now. I saw the kids on the sidewalk when I pulled in and thought how much I liked giving my kids such a fancy neighbor hood. I have to let go of that and my flesh is riled up and angry about it. I know that it is folly it is just a real thing I have to face.

Dove is a reporter posed for her picture. How much of her life am I missing out on just to get to a place of freedom financially. This is not going to be easy people. I the fore runner will forge a trail and it will be seared with hot ash today this is hard! I have no idea how long this will take , if it will sell, or even if we can find a decent place for what we can buy outright. Man my faith is shaking today. I listened to a tape about the sell of our first home 22 years ago and the stupid thing stopped before the house sold and I was really let down. I wanted to hear about Gods wonders in it. I was really disappointed.
In the scriptures it says that we are to think on and speak of the things that you have seen and heard in Him... I NEED That right now from all of you!
So if you can tell me about the things the wonders you have seen Him do it would really help me...Please

Aloha Friday

Welcome to this week’s edition of Aloha Friday.

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So I thought that on Fridays I would take it easy on posting, too. Therefore, I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing heavy or too thought-provoking.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your linkat her site. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

Her question is:

What was your favorite toy as a child?

O.K. this is going to sound very strange to some but…Well here it is. When I was a child we were VERY poor. I was the last of eight children. I loved nature and still do. So my very favorite toy… was bug races. Cute little garden beetles lined up, or as my Beloved husband recently told the children …You make a large circle and then a small circle in the center. Then you place the little critters in the center of the smaller center circle and see who’s critter gets out of the large circle first. You asked! I love gardening to…I guess that figures. I do not remember many toys that were manufactured.

My Question is:

What is your favorite type of weather and why?

I Love a cloudy rainy day, it is so easy on the eyes and temperate to the skin. I just feel cozy.

How about you?

Turning Seven!

My Sweet Dash Hawk is turning SEVEN!...Wow how did that happen.
He and I have decided to have his party at the park. He wants to invite 23? of his closest friends...You see the Dash is a very popular kid. The Teacher he is under said it from the start. He is a magnet of kindness and both fellow first graders as well as those of other grades are just drawn to him. It is a little hard to turn him down because of the old cloud of Ushers over head.
I know that I should not be moved by that but it is a weight that I constantly pass over to God for it is far too heavy for me.
So I have a Birthday Party to get prepared for in under two weeks!
I'll see if I can get the ramadas (plural) at the local park...Yikes!!!!
I will tell the parents that many of them will need to stay.
I big ol' cake. He wants 1/2 Lego and half Hulk.:) (because his sister wants a hulk cake).

Thursday Thirteen

1. My children are home from school :) They are eating cookies and sitting so cute at the counter watching afternoon t.v.
2. My dogs just had a snack and they are happy too.
3. My beloved is coming home in an half an hour, I am so excited to be in his presence and to see his smile.
4. Four more boxes are packed.

5. I have been listening to "the house Story" of 1986 It began on February 22 nd. It is so interesting to hear my voice and language of 22 years ago tell of how we experienced the sell of our first home together. Sorta like a audio post. So fun to hear the scriptures I quoted and the life events surrounding us in those day. I love the passion I had for my husband. I even read a letter he had written to me. I have not heard the end of it yet for I had to go get the kids home.
6. My son is playing Lego's and having all the sound effects fitting a battle. So cute!
7. My courage is not faltering, and will not halt.
8. Lost is on tonight. Did you know I really like that show. The writers are mature and creative. Intelligently written, yet I still can guess some of the outcomes. I love it that often I am surprised by it. I like that I do not have to cringe either at the things before me.
9. I shined my shoes! Yes I shined my leather shoes. I stopped the world and just did that for me. I took care of my favorite soft leather comfy shoes. The before and after look very pronounced in person. I could not get the black polish open so I washed them off and then used mink oil on them then (after the photo) I buffed them with a buffing cloth. I heard that it can take 100 yrs to decompose a leather shoe in a land fill. Made me think if it takes that long to decompose I am sure they have a lot of good ware left in them. I have been thinking "consume less keep more funds for fun!"

10. I have the opportunity to go through my art supplies and let go of things...This is going to make me grow. :)
11. I weeded the front yard and it was very easy because it rained last night. I had a conversation with a friend and the time passed as did the task quickly. I have a good friend who I do not speak to very often and it is always just like yesterday every time we talk.
12. I was able to get two door frames washed off in the kids hall. I also taped them so the will be ready for cut in. That hall should go quickly!
13. I have my only T.V. show I really like "Lost" tonight a fellowship with good friends tomorrow night. Maybe a date with beloved to go to a steak house on Saturday? Maybe? Oh man a char-broiled steak backed potatoes... this is going to be a real treat. Maybe we will do it for lunch if we take the children. We will be better able to cover four meals with the gift card.

Life is good

Thankful Thursday

Join all of us over at over at "Sting My Heart"

Good Morning!

Recently my heart has been grieved by the business of my life at this time. It is effecting my family in some stressful ways. Recently, after reading a wonderful devotional sent to me by a friend, I was reminded that try as I might my efforts were limited to be and do the very things that I desired. I was reminded that it is in asking God to cause me to be and to do that success would be had.
This morning much to my hearts delight I saw such occur.
My heart is grieved at the time lost with the children due to the efforts at hand. I also miss the home school life style I have been called out of. I miss terribly, being their teacher, and the wonder of the "light bulbs" moments I got to create. Oh I miss that,... but I also know that I am doing what is required of me in all the ways that surround me.
This morning my desire was met so sweetly. My dear Dash Hawk was here at my feet petting the dog and he saw a wonderful book of flowers. He was encouraged to open it and we spoke about zones and the reasons behind them and the global locations and such. It was so wonderful to share something that I love so much with him. Now it has been several years now that the gardening that was once a true passion of mine was forced to pass due to my health as well as the years spent regaining the health of both of the children. Gardening pales to special needs children having the intervention they need. I thought recently as well with this upcoming move that perhaps I might yet once again tend the earth with the resources being more readily available to purchased the things needed to tend the earth and nurture the soil. It is expensive to garden in the desert. :) Then, I also had the privilege of a child interested in my Bible, and I read him Psalm 91 and explained it to him, telling him of how it is my favorite text.
Moments later I was able to have wonderful time as the children willingly without fuss left the TV off and we visited over such matters in history as the nazi ( I do not capitalize under intent of disrespect) and WWII issues. we discussed why it was such a terrible time in history and how we must always speak about the truth with courage. How the reporters were the first attacked in the German society as to silence them for hitlers (I do not capitalize under intent of disrespect) benefit. It was an awesome relaxed conversation about the Walton's show we watched on DVD the night before.
So I am Thankful that God heard my heart and made the hearts of my children open to me. To knowledge. It is my desire, my vision that I would be a Mother who taught her children the more important things that are often left untaught. He heard the desire of my heart and I am encouraged that all is not lost. That is a root of rage for me that fear of the loss of my children. I often feel angry and ashamed that I am not able to home school due to the brain injury I sustained, and well just due to the plain letting go of it and obeying what God wants for the kids rather than my will in it. I want His will even if I struggle with it.
I am so thankful that to obey is better than sacrifice. My children are thriving and so well rounded. How wonderful it is that we have them in one of the top schools in our district. I do enjoy being their Mother.
I have so many duties as Dash recently pointed out. They understand it, better than I do :) I place so many expectations on myself. I am thankful that God is not some ogar, that he cares about how I desire to raise my children.

Fifteen days in from onset of decision to Sell out and Move

It is 7:15 P.M.
The children are now in bed. Beloved is now on the ladder painting out the last of the green. We are almost finished with the great room, foyer and dining room. We started this paint job last Saturday. We are both tired and yet excited about the future.
The painting will continue for a few more days and into next week end.

It is a chapter closed in the Appellation green. That color was chosen in fond remembrance of the hike on the Appellation trail. Over 10 years ago now...We took our first trip , a "back Easter". It was so lovely green and beautiful!
So many things have been learned already on this our first 15 days into the decision to sell out and buy a family room more suitable to our means. I am looking forward to the future. We both find it a bit unsettling to not know where we are going. We are going to set a time aside to prayerfully approach the issue of where. We do not just want to assume or limit our selfs to one area. Yet it is surprising the safety that is secured in having even an imaginary home to go to.
The things that we have packed are not much missed at this point. However the rooms that are coming into the cue are more tender. The art studio is breath taking to dismantle. I find my resolve and faith more tested there, even though I have created very little art in some time.
I found myself pulled to the yard this afternoon to be close to my son. He was playing on the gym set. I weeding the walkway and enjoyed the warm sun. I think it was in the mid 60*'s f. He came and helped me and we enjoyed each other. I had grocery shopped today and set Dove up to prepare Dinner. She was startled. I had her open the boxed and pour the things on a sheet to bake. She had pre-heated the oven and even put some water on the frozen corn she had potted. It is hard to be torn between two children when both desire your attention.
The question of the last hour so lovingly posed was...
When the kids are excited and silly does it bother us because "we" wish we were too?
8:10 P.M.
I just got done with a hot shower for these tired mussels.

The wall is all but done now as is the trim. Brushes are washed and we both retreat to the computers and just rest a bit.
I dream of a time when we will be in our next home. I have visions of being different as a family. Much closer and intimate. Of times together forced perhaps by space. Funny thing we humans... space is our quest; then the truth sets in on us that togetherness is accomplished in a home that keeps its members together. I hope this is all the dream that is a pleasant future. We may be trading the stress of finance for the stress of environment to some extent. All I can and choose to do is trust that this is in line with what is right.
We deeply desire to owe no man except to love him. What a strange concept to this world.
It will be our 26th year of this union in March.
We have worked so hard to be at this time where we could imagine a deed in hand. it has been our life long goal and desire. We have waisted so much over the years that now we regret. If all the young marrieds could hear. Do not by what you are told you can afford. We are saved because of this wisdom. For we have been able to choose to stay here for 5 years or so at the change in income. Now we are relieved to let go. Everything is vanity and there is a time for all things. I have had such a vacation of sorts in this home. But it came at a price we are now not willing to pay any further. Free choice! Wow it takes gut to make choices.
It is so much easier to just keep the status quo.
I desire your intercession please. For we get week from the fatigue. The deep inner healing we are gaining in this quest are very real. I have boxes to pack, paint to lay and personal items to stow for an unknown time. It is a very real struggle of the flesh.
I must have courage define me not "My stuff".
I must find it cozy to be embraced in His presence and not surrounded by my stuff.
Oooo, It is a good thing to grow up. It just does not feel so good :)

Works for Me Wedensday *feeding the dogs*

Every morning I am greeted by Willy Wonka the Chocolate Lab who is so full of glee that he finds himself confused with a gazelle. Now this is very charming how ever when it is 6 a.m. and the house is still and the wood laminate floor noisy with the click and clack of the dogs nails...well Willy is noisy. So as quickly as I can I usher him and his Golden retriever pal (who is very much a Lady ) out the door.
I then take Willy a big scoop of kibbles as "Rena, The Queen" slips in and has her moment of morning attention. I fill her bowl with her kibbles. Now by the time I am done with that Willy is fed and calmed enough that when I let him in ( before he barks and disturbs my husband last few seconds of sleep) Rena will then eat as Willy leaves her food alone. By feeding the boomerang dog quickly I get a few moments to start fixing the lunches for the family.
Works for me.

Wordless Wedensday

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