Thankful Thursday

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Good Morning!

Recently my heart has been grieved by the business of my life at this time. It is effecting my family in some stressful ways. Recently, after reading a wonderful devotional sent to me by a friend, I was reminded that try as I might my efforts were limited to be and do the very things that I desired. I was reminded that it is in asking God to cause me to be and to do that success would be had.
This morning much to my hearts delight I saw such occur.
My heart is grieved at the time lost with the children due to the efforts at hand. I also miss the home school life style I have been called out of. I miss terribly, being their teacher, and the wonder of the "light bulbs" moments I got to create. Oh I miss that,... but I also know that I am doing what is required of me in all the ways that surround me.
This morning my desire was met so sweetly. My dear Dash Hawk was here at my feet petting the dog and he saw a wonderful book of flowers. He was encouraged to open it and we spoke about zones and the reasons behind them and the global locations and such. It was so wonderful to share something that I love so much with him. Now it has been several years now that the gardening that was once a true passion of mine was forced to pass due to my health as well as the years spent regaining the health of both of the children. Gardening pales to special needs children having the intervention they need. I thought recently as well with this upcoming move that perhaps I might yet once again tend the earth with the resources being more readily available to purchased the things needed to tend the earth and nurture the soil. It is expensive to garden in the desert. :) Then, I also had the privilege of a child interested in my Bible, and I read him Psalm 91 and explained it to him, telling him of how it is my favorite text.
Moments later I was able to have wonderful time as the children willingly without fuss left the TV off and we visited over such matters in history as the nazi ( I do not capitalize under intent of disrespect) and WWII issues. we discussed why it was such a terrible time in history and how we must always speak about the truth with courage. How the reporters were the first attacked in the German society as to silence them for hitlers (I do not capitalize under intent of disrespect) benefit. It was an awesome relaxed conversation about the Walton's show we watched on DVD the night before.
So I am Thankful that God heard my heart and made the hearts of my children open to me. To knowledge. It is my desire, my vision that I would be a Mother who taught her children the more important things that are often left untaught. He heard the desire of my heart and I am encouraged that all is not lost. That is a root of rage for me that fear of the loss of my children. I often feel angry and ashamed that I am not able to home school due to the brain injury I sustained, and well just due to the plain letting go of it and obeying what God wants for the kids rather than my will in it. I want His will even if I struggle with it.
I am so thankful that to obey is better than sacrifice. My children are thriving and so well rounded. How wonderful it is that we have them in one of the top schools in our district. I do enjoy being their Mother.
I have so many duties as Dash recently pointed out. They understand it, better than I do :) I place so many expectations on myself. I am thankful that God is not some ogar, that he cares about how I desire to raise my children.