Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The componients of a healthy Esteem


With our eye to our children as they walk away from us and into the school we must see to the Esteem to give them a good start.

Security A student with a high level of security conveys a strong sense of assuredness and can handle change or spontaneity without undue discomfort. This individual feels safe, knowing there are people he/she can count on.
Selfhood When a good sense of self -knowledge is obtained the student has an accurate and realistic description of his/her roles and attributes. This student has a strong sense of individuality and feels adequate and worthy of praise. He/she will produce statements like these: Everyone says I look nice in my new outfit.
I'm not as good-looking as a movie star, but when I smile I know I'm beautiful.
Affiliation When a student is in a relationship to another- be it family members, classmates, peers or friends/acquaintances- there is potential for affiliation or belonging. A student who feels good about his/her social experiences generally fees connected to others and accepted.
Can Johnny come over to play?
I like being with my family.
VERSES Why do I have to go to school?
Do I have to talk to her? She wont like me anyway.
Mission A student with a strong sense of mission is one who not only sets realistic and achievable goals, but is also able to follow though on plans. This student takes initiative, is responsible for his/her actions, seeks alternatives to problems, and evaluates him/herself according to past performance. Such a motivated individual might make remarks such as:
Yesterday I got 15 spelling word right . Tomorrow I'm going to try for 17.
Competence The experience of success usually results in an individual feeling capable and , therefore, willing to take risks as well as share opinions and ideas. However, the success must come from experiences that the individual sees as valuable and important to him/herself.

An Individual who feels competent is not only aware of his/her strengths but is also able to accept his/her weaknesses. Failure is generally not an issue;in fact, these students pereive mistakes as valuable learning tools. A competent student is likely to make the following remarks:
I am good at a lot of things, although I sometimes put things off to the last minute.
I learn fast.
However, students who experience frequent failures, or are not brought to recognition of thier success, produce these kinds of statements:
Why can't I learn like everyone else?


When you look at these core essentials you might notice a gap here or there. There are some wonderful open ended Questions that invite healing and development. I would imagine you can find a lot of good information out there. If I can be of help let me know. I have this reference volume that I often refer back too. Parenting is learned just like a recipe. A recipe for success.


My husband and children and I took the quizzes in this book and worked intentionally on the issues above. We looked for areas we each needed to strengthen in our core esteem. After a full year of effort we then took the quiz again and WOW we had all grown so much.
May this help you in your Parenting and even in your own personal quest to be all of who God intended and created you to be! :)



1 comment:

Amrita said...

great list donetta, when i was growing up hardly ever experienced this, but as a teacher i made sure my students felt special

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

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By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • "HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"
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