The componients of a healthy Esteem

With our eye to our children as they walk away from us and into the school we must see to the Esteem to give them a good start.

Security A student with a high level of security conveys a strong sense of assuredness and can handle change or spontaneity without undue discomfort. This individual feels safe, knowing there are people he/she can count on.
Selfhood When a good sense of self -knowledge is obtained the student has an accurate and realistic description of his/her roles and attributes. This student has a strong sense of individuality and feels adequate and worthy of praise. He/she will produce statements like these: Everyone says I look nice in my new outfit.
I'm not as good-looking as a movie star, but when I smile I know I'm beautiful.
Affiliation When a student is in a relationship to another- be it family members, classmates, peers or friends/acquaintances- there is potential for affiliation or belonging. A student who feels good about his/her social experiences generally fees connected to others and accepted.
Can Johnny come over to play?
I like being with my family.
VERSES Why do I have to go to school?
Do I have to talk to her? She wont like me anyway.
Mission A student with a strong sense of mission is one who not only sets realistic and achievable goals, but is also able to follow though on plans. This student takes initiative, is responsible for his/her actions, seeks alternatives to problems, and evaluates him/herself according to past performance. Such a motivated individual might make remarks such as:
Yesterday I got 15 spelling word right . Tomorrow I'm going to try for 17.
Competence The experience of success usually results in an individual feeling capable and , therefore, willing to take risks as well as share opinions and ideas. However, the success must come from experiences that the individual sees as valuable and important to him/herself.

An Individual who feels competent is not only aware of his/her strengths but is also able to accept his/her weaknesses. Failure is generally not an issue;in fact, these students pereive mistakes as valuable learning tools. A competent student is likely to make the following remarks:
I am good at a lot of things, although I sometimes put things off to the last minute.
I learn fast.
However, students who experience frequent failures, or are not brought to recognition of thier success, produce these kinds of statements:
Why can't I learn like everyone else?


When you look at these core essentials you might notice a gap here or there. There are some wonderful open ended Questions that invite healing and development. I would imagine you can find a lot of good information out there. If I can be of help let me know. I have this reference volume that I often refer back too. Parenting is learned just like a recipe. A recipe for success.


My husband and children and I took the quizzes in this book and worked intentionally on the issues above. We looked for areas we each needed to strengthen in our core esteem. After a full year of effort we then took the quiz again and WOW we had all grown so much.
May this help you in your Parenting and even in your own personal quest to be all of who God intended and created you to be! :)