Meal Plan Monday

Hello

click on images to enlarge them

Good evening, it looks like life is becoming a bit more of a good pace for me now. My immune system is getting stronger as my numbers continue to increase. My lymphatic system is healing so that it can create more mature lymph.

 Were just sitting down the two of us at our own computers to chill out. The kids are asleep and the dishwasher hums in the back ground.

Recently several lemons were gifted me. 

This is the process used to get the most out of them.

 Be sure to avoid the white it is bitter. 

These are diced or added and then removed from a sauce or recipe.

 Nothing wasted this is the great way to clean a sink and garbage disposal

 Now for the fine scrape it is used for dishes that keep the rind in them.

Juice is then squeezed for lemon aid by adding a simple syrup.

Wedges of lemon added to make the flavor rise.

Juice is saved for other uses. Rinds are frozen.

All from a few lemons and a little simple sryup.

Simple syrup add sugar to boiling water and dissolve store for various uses.

This is great for drinks or things that need a sweet without a spoon to stir it.

How to make a cover for CPAP Machine

 Hi

Today the issue of the condensation on the tubing is addressed. 

Tonight I will not get water up my nose in the middle of the night. 

I posted over at A Place to Create the process.
come over and check it out

My hopes are that every one is having a restful pleasant Sunday.

Be Blessed.

Garden progress

Visit over here at Bee Bliss Gardens Blog for a tour of what is up.

 bachelor buttons are making a show too

The poppy's are coming soon.

just two of the jobs in prosess

 My dress

Dash's quilt.
Posted the process over at A Place To Create Blog

All the quilting is done.
I was able to get the beaded fringe on the dress.

 I have been hand stitching the boarder on all evening.
Dash watched with gratitude and excitement.
About 5/8 around tonight time to go to bed.
Sleep sweet all of you dear souls out there.

On Parenting an ill special needs child

First off thank you for your prayers for Dove.

The retching started up Wednesday again a pattern was emerging. When she was stressed it would get worse. Not too unlike any of us really. It was as if it was expected of her somehow. As I observed and focused on the stillness that holds answers within the most inner part of me. I began to see something, but then it lit up again. So I just stepped back and watched. When Steve got home and sat in the living room, then Dash came in and sat on the air mattress it started up again.

Correcting Dash the discussed looks at Dove, he caught on.

Steve had little of it and demanded a trip to the urgent care to get some help. So it went tough really. Steve became a bit annoyed that Dove was being a wet noodle, calling to much on me to physically assist her. She stood against the exit to go to the Urgent Care Doc. Gave me all kinds of fit. I think I have learned that by just acknowledging..."ya, I know I wouldn't want to go either but we need to go."

That did not stop the verbal battle but she wanted to go with me not Dad. I said to her..." you can either go with me or dad but you need  to go. She chose me at dad became the target of the teenage..."I hate you your so mean" poor guy.

She verbally refused all the way to the place, retching and vomiting (seemingly so). I think that she was so mad that she was even upsetting her constitution. Leaving her nearby in the car I went in to ask if they could receive her. Telling them what they were up for. We got there and they helped us in promptly as too not spread it in the lobby. The triage nurse went to MOP's (moms of preschoolers) at a church we attended when Dove was little. She recognized us.

She was a big help. Although ignorant about the way to address the issues. It is so hard with the kid sitting right there. Dove is not a stupid or dense kid, just a wonderful 13 year old going on 8 at times, with a social cognitive issue and anxiety disorder.

"can she understand, can she speak?" asked the nurse. Yes...

Then the odd looks one gets, like a pity or a....well adoption is an open heart not one that is as prone to expect perfection. Knowing that no child on earth is perfect.

Anyway :) we gave her a shot of fenagrin to stop the retching cycle. She has a sinus infection too. That is what Steve and I suggested before I took her to the ER on Monday night. ER doc...

Post script...sorry so busy over here 

Wednesday night she slept in our room. She let out a little retch and I said "Stop"!

To which she responded "what?"

"Oh No this will not start up again, don't even let it go there.  Keep it from starting Dove"

but to ease the anxiety we made it all very calming for her. The cycle broke bless God. She slept 16 hours! I began to get concerned and went to check her again she was awake in the rest room and had started her period. Poor kid. Perhaps PMS could of played a part in all of this.

She stayed home Thursday but I insisted she sit up on the sofa and encouraged foods. By days end a real turn around. She had finally left the sofa while we were out getting my knee injections.

We left her and Dash home for the 45 minutes we were gone.

As soon as we settled me on the sofa I had Steve help me by removing any and all signs of her being sick in the living room.

Out of sight out of mind. Out of mind out of anxiety. IT WORKED!

She went to school Friday. Mid day I called the nurse at the school to have her call Dove up to office to tend to hygienic needs. This to stave  off the anxiety of having the bathroom door kicked in (yes it happens now). School bathrooms are the one danger place for kids.

Now I am not really sure whether she had flu or not. I now she was sick a 103* was very high. The illness was not faked at all.

It was her reaction to it. 

 The anxiety that caused the every 30 second retching. Once it began she could not stop it. I sorta wonder if she thought she needed to puke just because that ER doc said that she would be soon. She began the retch right after while we were being discharged. It all worked out. I just think it important to share the knowledge with other moms.

WE HAD TO Remove the cycle of retching with meds for she could not stop it on her own.

Kept the anxiety as low as I could by using verbiage about how glad I was that she would feel so much better.

Told her how well she was going to sleep.

Spoke often at how this will only last a short while and will be over soon.

Removed any sign of illness once she was better.

I hope that this might be of help to others

Be Blessed

The retching may be anxiety

 It stopped for almost 20 minutes until brother came in to watch tv. I could not give her any more of the nausea med and it did not work today.

I tried some Motrin for the muscle and the clonopin for her anxiety. 

IT WORKED!

It worked!

IT WORKED 

IT WORKED 

IT 

WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!

oh by the way "it worked"!

that was a day and a half of retching every 30-45 seconds

The doc just called to have me give her another anti nausea med.,

and to try to fit her in. We just skirted a 22 mile drive one way with a sick kid, a nausea kid who gets car sick on a good day. Bless God for insight and a Mothers intuition. Just wish it would of accrued to me earlier. When I got on line retching was in some a physiological condition. Dove has a special need of a anxiety issue.

She has only done it perhaps 3 times in the last half hour...oh I hope that I did not speek too soon. Oh I do hope not to have an ER visit tonight.

Dove is Retching every 30 seconds!

After doing a little research I discovered that kids with panic disorders will do this. I have tried a half of to dissolved clonopin.

Retching is a process in the human body where gastric (and sometimes duodenal) contents are forced into the esophagus, but do not enter the pharynx. Retching usually precedes vomiting, when the upper esophageal sphincter remains closed. If the upper oesophageal sphincter is open, vomiting occurs. It is usually caused by a bad smell or choking. Retching involves a deep inspiration against a closed glottis. This, along with contraction of the abdomen leads to a pressure difference between the abdominal and thoracic cavities. As a result, the stomach and gastric contents are displaced upwards towards the thoracic cavity


It seams to have slowed. I am awaiting the doctors call back. The nurse has NO openings to get her back in. I do think it may be her special needs condition. It is doing a little better.

Help! 

 Does anyone with special needs kids have this happen when they get sick!

Hypothermia

Dang! I awoke with such a shiver from being on the floor last night. I was on an air mattress with good blankets too. I think it was the c-pap blowing the cool air into me. Sleep only came after 1a.m. or so. I was cold in the night, very. So tired I did not get up except to reach for my snuggy off of Dove who was above me on the sofa. I remember being curled up in a tight ball all night. 
Once finally falling asleep the morning came with Dash waking me at 6:45 or so. I was so cold it hurt! Thinking I might be feverish I took my temperature 94.*! 
I looked it up on line and it said that I had mild hypothermia.Any thing below 95.* is mild wow how weird!
Yesterdays coffee warmed and hot water on my hands. After tending to the kids and getting back from the bus stop for Dash my temperature is now 95.9*. So I am sitting here trying to warm myself up. Sorta feeling a bit confused and dizzy. I think it is from being so cold. What a weird thing to happen. I guess the air mattress must of displaced cold off of the floor. That with the c-pap cold air. This hot coffee is good. My face still feels cold. I'd get a hot shower but she needs me not to be away too long. She is within a close distance now on the sofa. I have my Russia pants on and a coat. It is not cold in here at all. Desert rats do get a cold in winter can get up to mid 60's in the day and 38 at night. High is high and the low is low. Our weather is like that. It was perhaps high 40's walking Dash to the bus stop just 3-4 houses down to the corner.

My sweet daughter is not doing very well. We have temperatures at both ends of the gauge this morning. Goodness sake!

Dove is retching even though I gave her the anti nausea medication. Hoping it stops soon. she wanted cold water big mistake. Tried some warmed apple juice no go.

Doves fever finally broke around then. she has a low grade this morning.

being in a time of need

there is something sublime
—Synonyms
1.  exalted, noble. 2.  magnificent, superb, august, grand, gorgeous, resplendent, imposing, majestic.

in being a mother when beside my ill child. Though never a Mother who would ever wish thus upon my young.
Steve, upon Doves request assisted me in bring the air mattress into the living room. Tonight again I will sleep (term used loosely ) there with her only this time not sitting up on the recliner. She NEEDS me. How it is that a mother, this mother becomes irreplaceable. As if it is only in my presence peace security and the calm can come to her. It is a holy thing being here for my child.
It is sacred the charge to hold the hair, spoon the broth and wipe the brow.

So in that my pen runs low of ink (so to speak).

I am well with some head ache, tiny tad of nausea here and there. Rather tired and thankful she is calm at the moment. Thank you sweet Denise to ask of me. I wore a mask at the ER last night and on the sofa most of the night. Once the tell tell headache hit I knew flu was coming to hit me. However with the flu shot I received my defenses are higher. I could just kick myself for only getting it for Dash and I at the allergist. I should of made a pediatric appointment and gotten her one. It just slipped by me.
The antibiotics I started on Sunday will help too. My dentist appointment in the morning canceled (the reason of the prophylactic antibiotics). Yet I will stay on them. Still have the knee shots set on Thursday. Steve will leave work early to take me. It is in the late afternoon so I will be able to care for her until then. I trust Gods ways so high that it will all work out.
Well after 28 hour with only a few of sleep this is a little bit of a mental health break. I will be going in again now in the time of need.
Sleep should come in small slices of gratitude for it will mean that she has calmed the retching and rests. Sweet child.
Appriciate your prayers

Please remember Shorybear in hospital, a prayer would mean so much to her as well.

doves got the flu

we were in the ER last night
sweet kid
love your prayers for her please

Shorty Bear calls for prayer

Eddie asked me to post on her site but I can not get in. She is in hospital and has called me to ask all of you for prayer. This is unlike her to speak up folks so you know this is serious. she is in due to some type of colitis, kidney infection, urinary track infection.

Eddie sounds pretty wiped out tired having to work and help her to hospital. They have been trying to get her blood sugar levels in order. 

So folks Pray for this woman who takes so much of her heart and prays for us.

Thank you

You can go over to her place shorty bears place

She is in hopital
1-423-778-7072 this is bed side. If you call please she is in hospital make it real brief. Just reminder of how loved she is.
This is posted at Eddie and Denise request.
Thank you

Financial fraud, God is watching

Many years ago we were refereed to

this accountant to do our taxes. 

This a referral coming from my BIL he as well as his kids and my in laws all used this mans services for tax preparation. We were just laid off with a severance package and for the first time I needed help doing our taxes. Thank God I only used him one time. Thank God that we did not accept his advise or accept his suggestions. Given as if it were a honorable thing. He spoke of how many church going folks he has helped set up trust funds for their wills. We had had a trust set up when we went back to Russia to get our son. Leaving Dove here we had to protect her. He wanted his hands on our trust to 'help' us. We did not go there for we were just doing taxes and were far to busy to even think about his offer.

We just learned that the man is now serving 18 months in prison for fraud and tax evasion setting up off shore accounts for his wealthy clients. I remember him telling us something about how he was protecting those incomes of a woman who had a special needs adult. Wow to learn now that perhaps those poor folks were harmed...to think of the ploy against us being older with special needs kids that "would one day need someone to 'watch' over them if we were to die" Holy cow!

We never used his services again. Strange I remember being uncomfortable. Taxes ONLY was my use for his services but I remember him suggesting helping us with our severance package.

Now folks that is twice that we have been protected by my instincts.

We once had a financial adviser who worked for a prominent large company. I never felt right with him. He was even in a prayer group of our men's retreat. I was called by his wife as the police left his office him in handcuffs. She had found our paperwork in his brief case. We would of been his next victim. This fellow who was sitting beside me in prayer ? was in fact getting ready to steal us blind.
She protected us. He had also been charged with sexually stalking his wife's grown daughter. I was always uncomfortable with him for he had a strange tick and could not look me in the eye for long. I just thought I was making too much out of it. I even warned Steve several times that something was wrong. I had to call the company to report it and protect what ever he was doing from our harm.
 One only one time we allowed his offer for he and his wife to watch the kids so we could have a mental health break (date). She never left their side thank God I am so suspicious of folk. We do not let our kids out on a very long lead. We hold tight and let the length out a bit but never let go of it.

We have since had a wonderful woman who is tops in the company be our help. She normally only helps high profile clients who I assure you we are not. Again though God protected us.

Listen to your instincts ladies.

God is watching us.

swimming on the surface

goodness! This week has been one of getting my head above water. The last few weeks have just buried me in task and chores. Dove is in Choir and Dash has Chess club and Student council. The after school curriculum has me at the park while one or the other plays until the class for the other is over. This is the season of independence earned sets with strong boundaries. I will not just leave either of them to fend alone/friends unattended. Yet I try to be invisible as much as I can to guard the hearts against those who harass them. for the most part I find that although they would rarely admit it the peers like having me cover their backs.
Steve have been working long hours now that he is on exempt status. Two huge projects have successfully achieved the goals. We are very blessed to have employment. He also has been approached to do a job on the side. He will be doing measurements on it tonight. Doing this also helps out his brothers buddy.

got to make lunches and wake the household now. Enjoy your morning.

Habitat for Humanity

Hello folks
Yesterday while I was out I happened to stumble upon a thrift shop that sells for this group. The thrift shop uses the proceeds to build and or provide homes/shelter.
Location
Southern and Dobson roads in Mesa AZ
on the North/East corner.

Look up one in your community as well. These people really do a good thing.
Some nail patch and a cast iron grill pan were my finds. Funny that cast iron pan has been on my wish list. The cashier said it was a real strange item the first she had ever seen. Mostly they have building materials. Very little furniture. We are donating the TV to them. Next week they will be sending out a truck to pick it up.

Get ready for a belly laugh!

The language of Love

What did you receive for valentines day? What about your anniversary? Your birthday?
How do you know that you are loved? Is it in what you are given? Words that have been spoken?
Perhaps a helping hand when in need.

Each person is gifted with a personal language how love is expressed.

There was once a tower built to the sky.
I suppose we all would love to once again assume we understand each other. All but that is not the case. One woman gets flowers another chocolates. One a card another a few blocks moved. A cpap machine cleaned and filled with water every night.
A man is measured by the roses he gives how terrible a verdict for those who speak love in a different way. A woman may say he does not care for she received none as her friend spouts the pride of a dozen.
We are all messed up in this tower to the sky, now the fall out of love misunderstood rocks marriages all around the country. Roses from those who speak such things are divine. Roses when spoken though words or acted though deeds smell non the sweeter.

Listen to the hearts of lovers for each has a voice all their own.

Great neiphew

Please pray for little Boy Blue. He was in hospital with rsv all weekend. Very sick baby.
Please also pray for his gram ma, my sister she has knee replacement surgery in two weeks and has been exposed to it.

Thank you

May your heart beat faster!

What do you love?

What is it that just makes your heart beat faster?

Now , now girls I speak of the gifts and talents that you have developed.

When you think of an activity or project, what makes you thrive?

On this Valentines day

my wish for you is a time of thriving in something that enriches your day.

Friday I got a feather in my bonnet...no not from the chickens.

From my new bead catalog. This issue is perhaps the 4th year copy I have. so I cut up the old ones. Using a mat cutter and exacto knives.

Every time this thing comes I sit and turn pages and my heart races with the beauty and creativity of it all. The majesty of all the natural stones and elements created for our pleasure.

 click to enlarge images

Over the weekend the pleasure that has enveloped my heart was begun a listing of all of the gem stones. Then it also turned into a collage of ideas for necklaces (it is sideways). Another is in the works for earrings and bracelets.

Best get to bed, I have had so much fun time got away from me.

This will hang over the beading area. I made it 3D on purpose.

Love your day for it is a gift, that's why it is called the present.

Bet you can tell I'm feeling better :)

Mommy stock rises!

Several of the girls in Doves grade had decided to throw one of the girls little sister a surprise party at the park.
Now I had no knowledge of this until Dove asked if she could go to the park. I had saw myself taking her to the park in a dream last night so I immediately said yes..
In a few minutes she received a call from a child I did not recognize so I listened in. The conversation was over a cake that need to be baked because one was ruined. It was then that I recieved the full story that Dove had forgotten to tell me about dure to the busy weekend.
The girl had made a cake that her step father had cut into unknowingly.
I met the girls at the park curb, fixed the cake and took them to the park. Oh did I score!
I am SO COOL! they said so.

I made my daughter proud.

ivig in new port

hi
infusion went real well. so much less drama and pain not having to poke my arms. It is so much better!
i was too dehydrated however and been with nasty head ache with the old wet noodle weak effect. Right after the infusion I had a good hour of the ol' Popeye effect. (strong man cartoon of my youth). He would eat his spinach and become invincible. Tomorrow is another day.
I am making a collage if elements of gemstones. It is so fun.
Sewing a quilt, a dress for me and one for Dove. That and all the too many tasks that accumulated at months end due to the ivig wearing off after a month with just too many stressed day with the surgery . I look forward to this next month.

I learned that it take approximately 50 units of donated blood to make up one of my gamma globulin infusions.
one person can not donate more than 2 units at a time but that is very uncommon.

now I only use the white cells yet even so...that is so amazing to me.

My nurse is so awesome! As is my little family. We had an extra child today so the house was a bit too noisy. All in all I did well. The kids were entertained with each other. Pray for this little kid she is in the dragons net. This is her safe house. I told her so today that if she ever needed a place to live we are here.
At one point she walk through the room I was in and said ' I love you Mrs. U.' It was so sweet touched me with her deep sincerity.
Well my head is propped up and so it is time to just bless ya all. Good night.

Primary Immune National Conference

click on title for more information

Today in an icepack chilled box came the gift of life to me. It is wrought by many who were so selfless as to donate the Blood to create it. I found myself holding it up to my heart; the bag of ivig solution. A washed blend of many who together spun for me a healthy chance for life.

It has several times been pointed out to me how expensive it will be to keep me alive if we should or when we might choose to have Steve retire. Every time this falls upon my ear it stings my heart. Being able to share that pain tonight with my Beloved Sweet Husband brought me to weep. Wept I for any inference that my life be simply measured by the dollar sign. I have at times done my best to save face by responding...

'If we run out of funding I will simply stop the IVIG and pass away as God designs'.

How angry after that I became. 

That is before my eyes without anyone bringing it up.

God is our provision. Trusting HIM for my life and my death is our choice. He has NEVER failed us in that. My husband would never ever even imply such a statement to me. He knows how to guard heart. It is also for me to guard heart. Stress is a huge enemy not only to my spirit and soul but even more so to my body.  I will avoid as much of it as possible.

For today and tomorrow, I will hold that bag of gold without the guilt of any one thinking my treatment, my life...is to expensive to keep. Or may someday be so. The many many people who donated their blood to keep me and others alive did not think so. Neither will I. I will embrace that IV bag as I would those who gave the gift of donated blood. 

This will be a new day where I will no longer feel guilty for needing IVIG.

I learned of this conference in June. Perhaps we might be able to attend. It would be good to be with like minded and learn as much as I can about all of the process of living a healthy life with a primary immune disorder. The conference will even have a lecture on the very type I have. No IgA.

IDF 2011 National Conference

It will be held here in Phoenix June 2011

Easy Online Registration Available NOW!

for adults

the lower one is for kids and babies

Pandora Radio

If you have not heard of this app you may want to look into it. How wonderful to have music of your venue stream over your computer for free.

Hope your all having a great day. Me... I have so many things my mind is overwhelmed.

Tomorrow is infusion day...liquid life :)

This cute table was at a curb.

friday funnies

opps

field trips

We first went to the mineral musuem no photos were taken
 there however. We each had 8 kids to tend too. It was really fun. Steve had Dash and his buddies.

 My sweet son is in 4th grade. This is most likely the last year for field trips with him. Steve was able to take the morning off so we went together with the class. She only had one other parent so it was a wonderful thing for her.

 This is the historical original house of representatives.

 I just loved the old radiator. Things are just not made like this here.

 The upper gallery had all the portraits of the speaker of the house year after year.

 The kids are looking at the USS Arizona. It went down at Pearl Harbor. The start of WW2.

 These were items from the ship

At the state capital we were able to go over to see the legislative branch. The real one. No representatives were there however it was lunch time for them.

Dash's quilt

busy fingers with needle and thread. Hope everyone has a great day!

Marriage Monday My Testamony

My Testimony

I was the illegitimate ( learned in my twenties) , last child, of eight born, into the generational curse of white supremacy, bigotry and worship in darkness. It was the intimacy of torture that caused me to meet Gods angles when I was a very young child. On the alter of those who worshiped Satan lay my body. My parents drunken nearby at a lodge fire. My parents had gotten themselves mixed up in a cult. Perhaps unwittingly.Gods angles came and took my spirit to the forest places. It was there that I first knew love and safety. For God caused me to be free from the body that those who were workers of darkness were all but destroying. Abuse unparalleled was my existence with no human rescuer. Were it not for the forest angle and many other spiritual servants of God who kept me strangely dis-connected when it was necessary I would have gone mad. They were my friends. You see, I was as a child under the authority of those who in their own free will chose death.  They choose to worship in the darkness and pursue the wicked gain . They were blinded by the perverse lie they had believed. 

Yet I was chosen by Him to survive. Because I had known his name. And I called upon Him. I don’t know just how I knew his name when I  was so little. But somehow someone, even perhaps He Himself introduced me.

 Psalm 91;

I turned 20 with a bible in hand, in danger, and psalm 91 in my heart. Suicide was my morning mission if this failed me. That day a woman named Leslie came and gave me an avocado. She feed my starving body then, she fed my spirit.  She lay an open bible upon my lap it was opened to the reference of John 3;16 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whoever would believe upon him would not perish but have everlasting life. 
She feed my belly then my spirit. I said "I believe that"

 Many events happened in that next two weeks of my life. The most significant was a literal battle over my soul. After several hours of  war between the heavenlys' God said it is finished she is mine you can’t have her.  I have a purpose for her she is mine. My body had raised men who were holding it down.  It had flailed on stone and no bruise had been left. I am His!

The next several years had included most significantly a prayer that all I wanted was a home of my own and a man that loved God. I have now been with that devoted man for twenty nine years. The first 10 years were spent in a recovery that baffled even the most of experienced of medical professionals. I have undergone vaginal, abdominal, rectal, nasal, dental and inner ear reconstruction’s. My mind has become whole with only some small effects left by three small shirring tears in the inner brain tissue. This in itself is very rare for those who have know such violence and darkness. Many medical professionals have given God the credit for the amazing results they have witnessed. My recovery culminated in the telling of the murder I witnessed. As another witness had notified the police in that town of the same event. We were both kids at the time of the murder. She had told only a week or so prior.

After seven years of rest we decided to begin our family. A dream I could not hold onto hope for. My faith that His will be done gave me the vision to pursue an adoption I was very  extensively examined and found to be totally recovered having proven all phases of restoration. We were honored by the judge with our certification to adopt any child. . Our certification to adopt was an acknowledgment of a job well done. We adopted two internationally kids. One in 1997 the other in 2001.

It took a tenacity that is a gift given to me to keep my promise that someday I would tell on them for what they were doing.. A promise that helped me survive and more than that, to overcome. In my last hospitalization I was given by God a song that helped me through some of the darkest of memories to be exposed.

<Song> For we’ve been made more than conquers through the blood of Jesus Christ, So hold on were getting stronger every day.  There is no need for you to run away.  Brother’s and sister’s well now the time for prayer cause don’t you know the battles all been won. For Jesus said there would be tribulation and He said that I have overcome.

I kept my promise. When I was surviving those dark days I swore that I would tell on them as they drugged me, also “if I don’t let them make me like them, and if I don’t let them make me crazy, I will give myself a life some day I promised." Through Gods divine mercy and grace I am alive and that promise was kept. I am loved. I am His.  He is mine. I have known His love and I am profoundly grateful that He chose me before the very foundations of time.

The experiences I have known were not Gods fault, as to blame Him.  I was under the authority of those who did not know him. I had the privilege of knowing evil with intimacy yet seeing righteousness and Love prevail. This privilege has afforded me many gifts talents and insights. I have intimately known the profound depth of Gods love.

          I am reassured each morning with the gentle kiss on my forehead as my dear husband tinder’s me. The times are few now that I fall into the memory of those days in my dreams. I awake each morning to Gods very real presence, with a flush of joy as my son says good morning and my daughter wakes for the day. As I open my eyes I see a palace where the peace of Christ abides with utter abundance.

Through the years the medical issues have been more than a challenge. The last few days I have even needed to remember who I am. Yet through it all His loving me is sustaining me. I am tired and I am wherry but try with all my being not to become worn out. 
When my eyes become clouded with the way others may see me it is time to wipe my glasses and try to refocus. I grieve at the mass imperfections of the difference between reality and the visions that kept me going. Everything has its season. Reality is yet another curve in the path. One to come to terms with. Yet He has kept me living.
Coming out of it all with P.T.S.D. (post traumatic stress disorder) and recently diagnosed with a rare gamma globulin immune disorder CVID common variable immuno-globulin deficiency. It may either be a hereditary (found mainly now in children in this generation).
given the level of stress issues it is no wonder that my immune system well needs sustenance. That comes by way of IVIG infusions every four weeks. My body is getting older now.

woo hoo shoulder impingment is improved

I am getting my arm back! The cortisone is making a difference.
Slow day here Dove stayed home from school today, Dash and her are playing. Steve is working late again. A huge event happening tomorrow and the task must be done before he can leave.

Tomorrow is Steve's birthday and he may have to work if he gets called in. We are doing all we are able to attend a nice time with his folks. That is a priority this weekend.

The job just got completed it is now 7pm my guy just called. He is so tired.
hope all of you have a terrific weekend!

Shoulder shot today

got Dove to the school, got home, Dash to the bus stop.
The day was a rest for an hour, then the mad rush came.
I called my former physical therapist to get a referral for someone who could help with my shoulder. It is just getting so bad. He told me that the specialist who works my knees is one of the best he knew.
Putting in a call, Brenda the office assistant asked 'can you be here in ten minutes'?
I got there in a rush. The surgeon was going on vacation in the morning. He thinks it is bursitis/impinged joint. He gave me a shot with a three inch needle in the shoulder of cortisone. OCH!

Left and went to my 11:30 appointment arrived with 5 minutes! We are going to up the stress medication during this time of increased physical pain. He thinks that the stress is hitting high due to the physical endurance.

Kids got home and we left straight away to get our allergy shots.Dove hurt me twice. she does not mean to she just forgets herself. It might be a type of reaction with the RAD. It really left me hurting. She play slapped me in my shoulder. She also hugged me so tight there that I almost began to cry. It is so hard to have special needs kids when they hurt me. I get real tired of there sensory stuff can cause me a real injury and does more often than folks might understand.

An xray of shoulder and knees to be done tomorrow. Knee shots week after next. Pain lets you know your alive. :}
An evening of rest.

Ice hits Mesa Arizona!

Breaking News!

This Morning we hit the streets early only to find this!

Ice! 

Mercy! :)

(you know it is the BIG story in town)

It is cold for Arizona however. Dove had choir rehearsal and had to be at the school at 7:15 a.m.

Say 'too cold!'

I actually have my Russia clothing on. Well I had to peal some of it off now that I am back home and Dash has caught the bus. I think it was 22-28* out there. For here that is VERY cold.

I use pun in all of this with all of you dear Easterners in the freeze. Goodness it is chilly. 

Yesterday all the wild bird feeders were filled. I was thinking of making them a peanut butter ball.  We have the migratory birds here now. They are stunned I'm sure.

With blankets over the coop the chickens have a light under the perch floor to warm them. It looks like most of the garden survived.

 The Garden and flowers were also blanketed. Looks like almost everything survived.

 The seed broccoli (for seed harvest) on the right took a hit.

 The wind blew the cover off of this but it seems to like the cold.

 Liking the cold is the sweet asylum. 

The self seeded tomato is surviving for the most part.

Everything in front is doing well. 

I am stunned that the poppy is alright.

This has been a wonderful week so far.

Dash was home 'sick' (me thinks I was played) on Tuesday. Even so kids are kids and remembering what it was like when we were kids helped me not to take it personally. Steve was a real support in this the one day that my Sister and I were to get together to sew.It had to be postponed. I think that it may have had to do with the security stuff. Mom was not going to be at the house. Not sure about that but I have a hunch. That or it may have been that Monday he needed to use his inhaler at school. With Steve being ill over the weekend I did not want to chance it.

Yesterday however the stuffed animals went to school...this to help the transition me thinks. It is so wonderful to see them 'self help'.
Note they placed them right by my chair.
They even have their AR books (to take their test), and back packs.
That was complete with baby talk.
Then everything was alright and school was an accepted part of the morning. His whining stopped after this. So amazing even after all these years that security is such a wound for Dash.

 My sewing room is all packed up to go to my Sisters tomorrow. We are drafting a pants pattern for a seminar she is giving in a couple of weeks. I will be assisting her as her 'dummy' HA! She is going to aid me in a dress that I am working on.

The neighbor left more fruit. Citrus will last two weeks chilled. The garage will do it. Cold out there like the refrigerator.

 A few of the little touches that have given me the pleasures of a home better decorated.

'Mom can you make my hair brown for ever?'

How sweet and simple the world is to my darlin' daughter. She was very bummed to find out that it was temporary. Oh in case you don't know we died her hair brown just like mine. It was very important to her heart. I believe it is about a since of belonging. It was a long standing decision and then god dealt with me until I bent into what his design was for the event. She wants to look like 'mom'.

What do you Believe about your cash?

So Dash had his question of the morning...

What does cold hard cash mean mom?
 

The phrase "cold hard cash" was coined by merchants  who were used to handling coins that, because they had a high gold and silver content, were warm and soft and did not wear very well. When more durable metals came into use it was generally noticed that they were cold and hard. In the cut and thrust of commerce a lot of transactions rely on the use of cheques (checks) and various forms of credit. Where these are not favored the phrase "cold hard cash" applies to both coins and notes which are immediately available, or ready, as a form of payment.

Do your kids offer you so many many questions on life?

My days are so full of opportunities to really think about what I believe and why.

Asking for what we need...

For a good 6 months or so we have been looking into replacing the dish racks in our dishwasher. The machine itself is still in good working order. Thanks to the repair work my Darlin' does on it from time to time. We looked into purchasing them $300 for both of them. New dishwasher? Did not like what is on the market. This machine still works well. The newer stuff is now so much poorer quality. 

This one was chosen just for that reason it is well built.

Keeping an eye on Craigs list as I do daily I came upon an old back one that needed a new computer board. It was used by a couple with no kids. We took some images of the inside.

 Ours is the same maker as the free one. So we took a VERY long drive to our old stomping grounds. Where we first met. Not even three blocks from the church. It was so neat to show the kids.

 We were able to replace both of the spin things and the racks. The bottom spin thing on ours Steve repaired but the part was so hard to find that he just made one. Now the one off the free machine will replace this one.

By the way it worked great!
They were free, and we have extra replacement parts for repairs too.

Resting when your ill is so important to give our body a fighting chance.
Resting is so important for our bodies.

Steve was sick all weekend. He slept from 1-5pm on Saturday and then through the night. We had an extra kid Saturday. thankfully he is well today.
That kept me busy baking cookies with the girls. The quilt top is finished, love it. My corners matched so beautifully.

Sunday morn we awoke to Dash giving us both breakfast in bed. We were so touched by his kindness. Kindness heals.
As my sweetheart rested most of the morning I ground coffee, made pinto beans into re-fry beans (blender style, cleaned the kitchen and so on. By late afternoon he was well enough to take the drive to get the dishwasher.

Every day we use O.J.  I am always looking for the best price on it. Recently I asked God for a good deal on juice. I try to keep enough for my husbands morning juice. This means often that I have to tell Dash no when he wants some. That really bothers me.
Well...
Dash and I juiced a full tree full of oranges from the neighbor. We come out a good three gallons. After a full evening of events. He helped so much.
Another two baskets of grapefruit and oranges on the fence post greeted me this morning.

Earlier at supper he was wanting to help. I had gone into the garage a moment, upon entering the kitchen to see his little hand using the mandolin to cut cucumbers! I grabbed his hand in time. No injury to him but it really scared me!
It was so important to hear his heart.

When it was his shower time he told me how much he wants to help. We spoke about learning how to first, many others things too. It was very sweet. He wants to be helpful and just felt real bad that he did not know how he could help. He did not want to do it wrong and felt defeated. It was so good to listen and make more chances for him to help.

Lunch meat being so expensive a slicer was an answer to prayer some time back.
I used my meat slicer and cut up a turkey breast smoked and roasted for lunch meat this week. We need to have lunch meat for homemade lunches. When those fresh turkeys that came my way after Christmas were cut up and put up into freezer it set us well.

I asked for lunch meat. The fresh (not frozen) turkeys were able to be cut down so large breast could be used as cut meat once roasted.

Today is a cloudy day, just beautiful!

The sky is just black to the west of me with the sun beaming through the eastern side against the yard walls. The dance of shadow and light is picturesque.

Staying home is a joy. So many things to tend to. My pups at my feet the chickens just outside the window, a quilt to sew and taxes to do. Wild birds on the feeder near my shoulder. Friends to pray for and weep over. Loving is a hard but beautiful thing. Loving is also so imperfect and fragile. This humanity thing a challenge for mistakes are inevitable.

How I wish well for each of you.

Thinking of you LISA B., your on my mind this morning. I hope your day is awesome.

Shorty Bear, love you too. I will try to send you a nice note later this morning.

Denise I hope that Oklahoma weather is treating you well. I am doing good hun. A little issue with that stitch in my chest it is coming out . The wicking of bacteria concerns me for infection. The Doc. said I may have to go back and have it cut again. One day it will dislodge inside me then the outer part will pull out the rest of the way. However my chest site of port is now not tender any  longer. My shoulder is still a real issue just really painful to lift my arm in certain ways.

To all of you a great day.

Do you see your days as full of opportunities to really think about what you believe and why?

If so please tell us about it. 

We ask and receive believing that it is better than just going out to acquire by spending my cold hard cash. By avoiding the quest to buy new we have more time to rest. We rest in expecting to see the provisions come our way. It is a life of expectancy not because we think we deserve it. Because we know HE loves us.