Saturday, February 26, 2011

On Parenting an ill special needs child

First off thank you for your prayers for Dove.

The retching started up Wednesday again a pattern was emerging. When she was stressed it would get worse. Not too unlike any of us really. It was as if it was expected of her somehow. As I observed and focused on the stillness that holds answers within the most inner part of me. I began to see something, but then it lit up again. So I just stepped back and watched. When Steve got home and sat in the living room, then Dash came in and sat on the air mattress it started up again.
Correcting Dash the discussed looks at Dove, he caught on.
Steve had little of it and demanded a trip to the urgent care to get some help. So it went tough really. Steve became a bit annoyed that Dove was being a wet noodle, calling to much on me to physically assist her. She stood against the exit to go to the Urgent Care Doc. Gave me all kinds of fit. I think I have learned that by just acknowledging..."ya, I know I wouldn't want to go either but we need to go."

That did not stop the verbal battle but she wanted to go with me not Dad. I said to her..." you can either go with me or dad but you need  to go. She chose me at dad became the target of the teenage..."I hate you your so mean" poor guy.
She verbally refused all the way to the place, retching and vomiting (seemingly so). I think that she was so mad that she was even upsetting her constitution. Leaving her nearby in the car I went in to ask if they could receive her. Telling them what they were up for. We got there and they helped us in promptly as too not spread it in the lobby. The triage nurse went to MOP's (moms of preschoolers) at a church we attended when Dove was little. She recognized us.
She was a big help. Although ignorant about the way to address the issues. It is so hard with the kid sitting right there. Dove is not a stupid or dense kid, just a wonderful 13 year old going on 8 at times, with a social cognitive issue and anxiety disorder.

"can she understand, can she speak?" asked the nurse. Yes...
Then the odd looks one gets, like a pity or a....well adoption is an open heart not one that is as prone to expect perfection. Knowing that no child on earth is perfect.

Anyway :) we gave her a shot of fenagrin to stop the retching cycle. She has a sinus infection too. That is what Steve and I suggested before I took her to the ER on Monday night. ER doc...

Post script...sorry so busy over here 
Wednesday night she slept in our room. She let out a little retch and I said "Stop"!
To which she responded "what?"
"Oh No this will not start up again, don't even let it go there.  Keep it from starting Dove"
but to ease the anxiety we made it all very calming for her. The cycle broke bless God. She slept 16 hours! I began to get concerned and went to check her again she was awake in the rest room and had started her period. Poor kid. Perhaps PMS could of played a part in all of this.

She stayed home Thursday but I insisted she sit up on the sofa and encouraged foods. By days end a real turn around. She had finally left the sofa while we were out getting my knee injections.
We left her and Dash home for the 45 minutes we were gone.
As soon as we settled me on the sofa I had Steve help me by removing any and all signs of her being sick in the living room.
Out of sight out of mind. Out of mind out of anxiety. IT WORKED!
She went to school Friday. Mid day I called the nurse at the school to have her call Dove up to office to tend to hygienic needs. This to stave  off the anxiety of having the bathroom door kicked in (yes it happens now). School bathrooms are the one danger place for kids.

Now I am not really sure whether she had flu or not. I now she was sick a 103* was very high. The illness was not faked at all.
It was her reaction to it. 
 The anxiety that caused the every 30 second retching. Once it began she could not stop it. I sorta wonder if she thought she needed to puke just because that ER doc said that she would be soon. She began the retch right after while we were being discharged. It all worked out. I just think it important to share the knowledge with other moms.

WE HAD TO Remove the cycle of retching with meds for she could not stop it on her own.
Kept the anxiety as low as I could by using verbiage about how glad I was that she would feel so much better.
Told her how well she was going to sleep.
Spoke often at how this will only last a short while and will be over soon.
Removed any sign of illness once she was better.
I hope that this might be of help to others
Be Blessed

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Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

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By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

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When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

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