Today in an icepack chilled box came the gift of life to me. It is wrought by many who were so selfless as to donate the Blood to create it. I found myself holding it up to my heart; the bag of ivig solution. A washed blend of many who together spun for me a healthy chance for life.
It has several times been pointed out to me how expensive it will be to keep me alive if we should or when we might choose to have Steve retire. Every time this falls upon my ear it stings my heart. Being able to share that pain tonight with my Beloved Sweet Husband brought me to weep. Wept I for any inference that my life be simply measured by the dollar sign. I have at times done my best to save face by responding...
'If we run out of funding I will simply stop the IVIG and pass away as God designs'.
How angry after that I became.
That is before my eyes without anyone bringing it up.
God is our provision. Trusting HIM for my life and my death is our choice. He has NEVER failed us in that. My husband would never ever even imply such a statement to me. He knows how to guard heart. It is also for me to guard heart. Stress is a huge enemy not only to my spirit and soul but even more so to my body. I will avoid as much of it as possible.
For today and tomorrow, I will hold that bag of gold without the guilt of any one thinking my treatment, my life...is to expensive to keep. Or may someday be so. The many many people who donated their blood to keep me and others alive did not think so. Neither will I. I will embrace that IV bag as I would those who gave the gift of donated blood.
This will be a new day where I will no longer feel guilty for needing IVIG.
I learned of this conference in June. Perhaps we might be able to attend. It would be good to be with like minded and learn as much as I can about all of the process of living a healthy life with a primary immune disorder. The conference will even have a lecture on the very type I have. No IgA.
IDF 2011 National Conference
It will be held here in Phoenix June 2011
Easy Online Registration Available NOW!
the lower one is for kids and babies