Monday, February 7, 2011

Marriage Monday My Testamony


My Testimony

I was the illegitimate ( learned in my twenties) , last child, of eight born, into the generational curse of white supremacy, bigotry and worship in darkness. It was the intimacy of torture that caused me to meet Gods angles when I was a very young child. On the alter of those who worshiped Satan lay my body. My parents drunken nearby at a lodge fire. My parents had gotten themselves mixed up in a cult. Perhaps unwittingly.Gods angles came and took my spirit to the forest places. It was there that I first knew love and safety. For God caused me to be free from the body that those who were workers of darkness were all but destroying. Abuse unparalleled was my existence with no human rescuer. Were it not for the forest angle and many other spiritual servants of God who kept me strangely dis-connected when it was necessary I would have gone mad. They were my friends. You see, I was as a child under the authority of those who in their own free will chose death.  They choose to worship in the darkness and pursue the wicked gain . They were blinded by the perverse lie they had believed. 
Yet I was chosen by Him to survive. Because I had known his name. And I called upon Him. I don’t know just how I knew his name when I  was so little. But somehow someone, even perhaps He Himself introduced me.
 Psalm 91;
I turned 20 with a bible in hand, in danger, and psalm 91 in my heart. Suicide was my morning mission if this failed me. That day a woman named Leslie came and gave me an avocado. She feed my starving body then, she fed my spirit.  She lay an open bible upon my lap it was opened to the reference of John 3;16 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whoever would believe upon him would not perish but have everlasting life. 
She feed my belly then my spirit. I said "I believe that"
 Many events happened in that next two weeks of my life. The most significant was a literal battle over my soul. After several hours of  war between the heavenlys' God said it is finished she is mine you can’t have her.  I have a purpose for her she is mine. My body had raised men who were holding it down.  It had flailed on stone and no bruise had been left. I am His!
The next several years had included most significantly a prayer that all I wanted was a home of my own and a man that loved God. I have now been with that devoted man for twenty nine years. The first 10 years were spent in a recovery that baffled even the most of experienced of medical professionals. I have undergone vaginal, abdominal, rectal, nasal, dental and inner ear reconstruction’s. My mind has become whole with only some small effects left by three small shirring tears in the inner brain tissue. This in itself is very rare for those who have know such violence and darkness. Many medical professionals have given God the credit for the amazing results they have witnessed. My recovery culminated in the telling of the murder I witnessed. As another witness had notified the police in that town of the same event. We were both kids at the time of the murder. She had told only a week or so prior.
After seven years of rest we decided to begin our family. A dream I could not hold onto hope for. My faith that His will be done gave me the vision to pursue an adoption I was very  extensively examined and found to be totally recovered having proven all phases of restoration. We were honored by the judge with our certification to adopt any child. . Our certification to adopt was an acknowledgment of a job well done. We adopted two internationally kids. One in 1997 the other in 2001.
It took a tenacity that is a gift given to me to keep my promise that someday I would tell on them for what they were doing.. A promise that helped me survive and more than that, to overcome. In my last hospitalization I was given by God a song that helped me through some of the darkest of memories to be exposed.
<Song> For we’ve been made more than conquers through the blood of Jesus Christ, So hold on were getting stronger every day.  There is no need for you to run away.  Brother’s and sister’s well now the time for prayer cause don’t you know the battles all been won. For Jesus said there would be tribulation and He said that I have overcome.
I kept my promise. When I was surviving those dark days I swore that I would tell on them as they drugged me, also “if I don’t let them make me like them, and if I don’t let them make me crazy, I will give myself a life some day I promised." Through Gods divine mercy and grace I am alive and that promise was kept. I am loved. I am His.  He is mine. I have known His love and I am profoundly grateful that He chose me before the very foundations of time.
The experiences I have known were not Gods fault, as to blame Him.  I was under the authority of those who did not know him. I had the privilege of knowing evil with intimacy yet seeing righteousness and Love prevail. This privilege has afforded me many gifts talents and insights. I have intimately known the profound depth of Gods love.
          I am reassured each morning with the gentle kiss on my forehead as my dear husband tinder’s me. The times are few now that I fall into the memory of those days in my dreams. I awake each morning to Gods very real presence, with a flush of joy as my son says good morning and my daughter wakes for the day. As I open my eyes I see a palace where the peace of Christ abides with utter abundance.

Through the years the medical issues have been more than a challenge. The last few days I have even needed to remember who I am. Yet through it all His loving me is sustaining me. I am tired and I am wherry but try with all my being not to become worn out. 
When my eyes become clouded with the way others may see me it is time to wipe my glasses and try to refocus. I grieve at the mass imperfections of the difference between reality and the visions that kept me going. Everything has its season. Reality is yet another curve in the path. One to come to terms with. Yet He has kept me living.
Coming out of it all with P.T.S.D. (post traumatic stress disorder) and recently diagnosed with a rare gamma globulin immune disorder CVID common variable immuno-globulin deficiency. It may either be a hereditary (found mainly now in children in this generation).
given the level of stress issues it is no wonder that my immune system well needs sustenance. That comes by way of IVIG infusions every four weeks. My body is getting older now.

6 comments:

e-Mom said...

I have read every word, Donetta. Thank you for sharing your testimony.

I knew you suffered some abuse as a child, but I was unaware of the complete extent of it.

You are a walking, living miracle of faith. Some day, tell us about God's angels... the ones who protected you.

You're such a vibrant Christian, and a wonderful Mom. Thank you for joining us for Marriage Monday, today.

Warm hugs, e-Mom ღ


P.S. Do you plan to add your link to the Linky? If not, I understand. If so, you can find it here:

http://www.chrysaliscafe.com/2011/02/welcome-to-marriage-monday.html

Susie said...

You are the strongest person I know!

Mac an Rothaich said...

Wow. I am just moved by the amazing power of love that is so evident in your life story! Your telling it is a gift.

tonya said...

What an amazing, amazing, testimony of God's grace in your life. I am so sorry for the pain in your early life, but I see that you are victorious and full hope and faith which is incredible. Thank you for sharing your testimony with us.

Jona said...

I'm so grateful that you've known God amidst your dark childhood and have held on to Him until now. You're an awesome person! Thanks for sharing!
<a href="http://www.heartifying.com/2011/02/07/how-did-i-find-my-first-love/”>my Marriage Monday is here.</a>

Denise said...

Your testimony deeply touches me, love you sis.

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

Blog Archive

By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • "HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

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e patterns My sister told me of this site

Please pray for her parents and family

Please pray for her parents and family
Amy has clicked her heals and flown to her real home. There is no place like home.

This was given to me for the third time in just a few weeks.

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
"For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."

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