Honor your husband day #7

Mondays my husband opens our home to other men. They have a mens support group. He stops in time to be a father to the young ones by reading to them. He has read to the kids every night since they were ours. He started the mens group three years ago after he and five other men did a retreat for over 300 men . So on Mondays after working overtime (as he has every day) to better our budget, he prepares for the guys to come over. Now most Mondays it has whittled down to one man. One has moved last weekend another has a lack of transportation and other choose to let go of the quest for restoration. It is now, One man who along with my husband continue to better them selfs through facing wounds of the heart and overcoming the world with the word of God. For even ONE he stand there available.
He walked in and prepared him self a plate of nachos he never, ever makes a fuss or bothers me in any way to cook for him but is always very kind and generous as I usually do all the cooking from scratch.
Today when my friend came home I was tired. He held me and stilled me. He heard my heart and let me cry a little of the steam off the top we smiled and went on to overcome the challenges of the evening. He supported my exit as to go to get supplies for our daughters 10th birthday on Friday.
He always encourages me to care for my soul, mind and body. This without any condemnation, shame or guilt.
He has tought me love unconditional and offered that to me for so many wonderful years.
He is a good Friend to all who know him.

Photo Hunt

Shadows

O.K. can I cry now?

We left just shy of 2p.m. and just pulled in the door at 4:44. Well after the terrifying trek through the city on the freeway i made it to Dash Hawks appointment on time. I am so tired and I'm not sure why but I feel like I need a good cry.
I took the tiger eye necklace set that the woman requested. She loved it and also another tiger broach. She forgot her check book so I'll get paid on Thursday. It makes me want to just weep to see Gods provision for the gas money to do the trek to the hospital twice a week. This is the second set she has purchased. She also purchased a lanyard.
The girl at the front desk asked to to bring more lanyards on Thursday that another nurse wanted to see them. I wanted to make that woman a pair of earrings to match the lanyard she bought and forgot. I keep forgetting to thank her for all her support. I think that is why I wanted to cry. It is just not my heart to be so forgetful.
I spoke to the therapist and we think that we will need to keep this up during the school year to help Dash Hawk to be able to say "sh" it sounds like an "s" when he says it and its her or the public school.
I choose her, her help is much more desirable he gets a half and hour two times a week. Public school he would be lucky to get 15 min. once a week. That mean folks I just got the news that it is required of me to pull up from within me a long stint of trips to the city. ON SCHOOL DAYS! RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC! It is what is required to give Dash the best chance for a normal life. Little Dove is tired of it and complains a lot.

I awoke to a dream this morning as if I were a child and a boy was interested and liked me , but I could not understand what he was saying. Then some bullie kids teased him. I wanted to punch them out but I knew that that would only make it worse. For a girl to defend a boy to other boys would demascalate him, then I awoke. I went for a walk this early a.m. Dash joined me. I tried to share my heart toward helping him to speak his best.
He gave me a real hard time at therapy and Little Dove became jealous of Dash getting therapy attention and grabbed dashes mouth. I had to correct them and restore enough peace to get Dash into his session. He waisted 10 precious minutes with a bent attitude. I feel worn out!

On a good note we think Dash wont have to have a surgery this fall. I will have to prep him for the amplifiers and microphone for the first grade he is really ticked off about it. I am sad.
Little dove needs to get back into Occupational therapy she is digressing and I am overwhelmed. O.T. is 23 miles one way from here in the other direction than Dash's apt in the city (23miles one way).
I sold $57. worth of jewelery today so I can cover gas. God's provision is good.
I don't feel so much like crying now
thanks

Were Back!

We were delighted to be ready to go when Beloved came home at 11:30 on Thursday. I had loaded all I could lift and he did the rest. I gave my sweet Little Dove some benadrill to help her motion sickness problem. She was knocked out! Poor thing fell asleep on the floor before I could get her to the truck. We pulled out at 12:45, packed and lunched. I had a shower and the dogs were secured! (Thank you J. from JUST A MOM)
We had a nice long drive up to the Rim. Beloved loves books on tape, so we heard a wonderful tale of "Who moved my cheese" on the way up. This is a MUST to read or hear. It is a wonderful life lesson story about the ability to grow with the inevitable changes of life.
We also heard "Ten Bears in a Bed" a fantastically funny children's story of a spoof on the classics.
We passed through Payson, and then headed on FR300.

"Out on the open road, elbow in the breeze he pulled his woman to him and gave her heart a squeeze." a line in an old Don Francisco song.
We pulled into camp around four. The best spot in the whole forest :)! We sat down in a dish and the five acre edge of the bowl gave us full view of the kids at all times! It was an amazing spot! The trees were friends awaiting us to come out and play.
The "Daddy Man" did the best thing! He hung a nice rope from a tree and the stump near by served as the Perfect jumping off post. The kids played "Teribithia" to their hearts content. While we set camp.

Camp set up well and this was the very first perfectly imperfectly packed, planned and established even that I can ever remember doing. I was totally un-stressed! A real change for me. No stress meant no strife! No expectations or dis-pleasures. I only forgot flip flops for the Mister and salt( We used the bacon for the salting of a bite of eggs a bite of bacon). I didn't even stress or plan either!
We set up the tent across the grounds for the kids to have to play in. It also served to keep un-wanted campers away . This was an added bonus we will have to remember.
Bedtime of the first night the kids were so happy that we forgot the story books. Mom had brought her bible! They wanted to hear about baby Moses, next night more Moses, and the third night the story of Jesus birth begining with John the Baptist. Little Dave set the scene about how Zackariah could not speak cause he laughed at God! Man the things they absorb is so heart warming! I just lay there and took in the sweetness as the "Daddy Man" read and screened question after question.
The children had so many, many wonderful adventures. Little Dove discovered the most placid non obtrusive horse fly I have ever experienced. She at one point sat on a log and watched as one sat on her finger. She observed it clean both under and over its wings. Now to some this may sound an odd joy, but to understand a child who has sensory problems and trouble with anxiety one might grow to rejoice with me. Her and Dash Hawk looked at life up close and personal. That is one of the most important ( to me ) gifts that I want to offer them.
They worked on their sketch pad and drew cool pictures with the "Daddy Man". He is a fun artist that has a humor that would just bring a smile to any soul.
Breakfast in the woods just would not be complete without BACON! And all who awaited this fine feast would ask repeatedly "Is it ready Mom?" over, and over, and over... Our camper has a stove inside and also one that is able to be attached to the outside. Great to keep the fumes out of the sleeping chambers. I love to cook out side.
Daddy man took the camera and the children on several hikes.
The first morning I made fiber crosses out of the fibers that were encased in the rope we were using for the swing. It was my hope that the kids would be more interested, but not yet. They had too big a wood for crafts. However they did like what I made for them.
We sat around and told stories of our youth and how we dealt with bullies. We told about mistakes we made when we were kids. I think that this was some of my favorite time together.
There were to many trees to climb, battles to fight within the forest citadel, The kings thrones and fair warrior maidens had to arm themselves with pine cone bombs and fight off the enemy. "ME" I was the one who was the dark character. We had dueling swords and the battle was fierce,
alas Daddy man awoke and it was he who became the entertainment.
They had hot dogs after the hike. The second hike of the afternoon. I had much time alone with the forest friends. We had a camp squirrel family that we fed and they were so cute. While I was alone in camp I had one bold little squirrel come right up an sit in front of me . I felt someone looking at me and as I looked up from my needle work the looked right at me I could have reached out and touched him with hardly a stretch. He scurried off. I was then to look up and see another cheeky little fellow come for a visit, in the interim I had placed a slice of bread on the log before me. He was so skinny the cheeky guy and he at last found the treasure and delightfully devoured it. We had a humming bird who took a favor to us. We had his company several times a day. He was our alarm clock the first morning with open windows he came back and forth accross the screen checking us out until we finely awoke and he was off.

In the afternoons (each day) we had a rain shower! I was so beautiful! The encampment was surrounded by ferns in the wooded sloping outskirts of our paradise. When the sun would come out it was a shimmering wonder of light and shadow. We had to play in the rain. This is a favorite thing for me to do. There are stories of ( the crazy woman who walked out in the rain) me taking long playful walks. Kicking up the puddles and soaking my clothing. It is so fun when you live in the desert to be playful during the monsoons.
The Mister with tears in his eyes had to capture me washing the feet of the children. He began telling them how Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. The children were so dear as to share what they understood of such things. One of those perfect teaching moments.
As the banker I had a wonderful time plying Monopoly with the family. I went out with the dignity of all property a loss without the dealing and debiting. It was another perfect life lesson. The sweet Little Dove just couldn't understand and wanted to give me her money and excuse my debt. The "Daddy Man" and I were in cahoots to help the lesson have great value and impressive sportsmanship. It matters most what they see! Little Dove won her first game of Monopoly just in time for the smores that I (because I lost) was preparing over the stove. The Mister was sad because he cant have chocolate due to migraines, but I had made several for him without it and he was so pleased and hugged his gratitude.
We had a fresh melon in the afternoon it was so nice to eat outside.
I had knee surgery last fall an am not able to use my knee so well, so I walked part way with the family, Sweet Little Dove worried over me and held my hand. I returned to camp and set the walkie talkie, Mace aside on the table. We had had a strange visit from a guy on a tote goat he just pulled up said "do ya got dogs? I like to run mine" then pulled off. WEIRD!
So I am alone at came and had just started to work on my oil painting and looked down to a "pit bull dog" right at my feet! I reached over got the talkie and mace, called hubby told him, then this guy pulls into my camp! Not 12 feet from me, right next to our trailer, stops and just lets his three dogs run the camp! Meanwhile I'm on the talky telling Hubby. I say "HELLO" to the guy and he just sits there. I tell Hubby right in front of the guy watching me on the talky. He pulled up near the swinging tree and shuts off his bike. Hubby to the defense tells kids "stay behind me" Approaches the dude to tell him he did not appreciate him coming into our camp and letting his dogs run through it an pee all over it! HUBBY WAS BOLD he had a big stick! The guy said "hay bro its cool" "NO ITS NOT" SAID HUBBY!
Later hubby admitted how good it felt to come to my aide. I felt so protected by him. The guy was just without boundaries, but still, I did not know him or his dogs. Dogs act different than you expect in the woods many a fool has learned this lesson the hard way. I HAVE KIDS! I was alone in a camp site! Although I'm not a young woman I am still a woman alone in a camp!
Dash had many battles to fight and defend his territory! His Father showed him how to stand up for His own.
I had a lot of rest and worked the stitches on the quilt blocks given to me, painted a picture and made fiber crosses. I played house in my "cabin" and all in all was delighted at how perfect the un-expected has supplied all of my hearts desires.
The quiet time was so healing.
My children are so loud! They are so happy and I am very grateful. Beloved was amazed at the volume of two kids who in their glee can reverberate the forest into a hall of sound!
He tells me " I don't know how you do it".
Beloved is in a cubical all day in the quiet! Man was he ear worn!
One of the things I have to face is caring better for this vessel called me! My body deserves some attention so Beloved and I worked out a way for me to wake early and walk. It is so hard for me to sleep if I go to bed and am awaken by him, I cant return to sleep. So this is a challenge. Perhaps late night, early rise (for a walk) and a nap in the day time?

Beloved also told me I must get out in the evening for a time in the quiet, but the kids have a panic! The are terrified of my absence. I was in a VERY bad car accident three years ago (I was hit by a guy doing 120 m.p.r.) and they all could of lost me (NOT REALLY GODS HAND WAS ON ME :) ) it was traumatic for them. With the remnant's of their attachment disorder they can be fearful to a stress on us.
We had a daring game of gold fish and had candied peanuts for bait. The thunder caused a little regression on Dash Hawk, He got to talk about his fear and the fear of the gun shots someone was triggering off in the distance.
He felt better when the play resumed in his favor.
"Daddy Man" thought to take some pictures for me not to miss out completely on the hikes. It is real hard not to be able to join them. I did however get some pain relief for my knee, after the second day, and took a solitary hike into the forest. It was really quiet and I had a lot of time for reflection and prayer of the duties to come in the following few months. I prayed for those things of concern and placed them down to be given the wisdom of being able to pick them up only in the due time.



We had the clean up to do and packing it all up. The children were happily reading in the truck ready to return home to their dogs and their T.V. They were ready, happy and satiated.
We had been so conservative with our water and fuel that I got to take a nice shower and wash may hair. It was so fun to use my "cabin on wheels" It is like a home in the forest to me.

The children had a few more good swings on the rope. We left it tied to the tree for the next camper to enjoy.


They all went on a hike while I washed the "cabin" down , swept it out and loaded the seats with the bags Beloved had rolled up. WE all had a really refreshing time.
Beloved had a lot of fear to overcome driving us home.

We gave our Sweet Little Dove her Benidril and got onto the open road. It was a very quiet ride home. Sweet Dove was asleep and Dash was very contemplative and quiet. We had to stop for gas $40. worth and we were home before 4 p.m.
Four days a tanks of gas, a few groceries from the pantry and a lot of memories for our hearts to treasure.
A great Big Thank You To All of you at "Just a Mom" , Thank you to her kids too for the help with the dogs.
The biggest Thank You to My Dear Beloved who challenged the fears and risks of taking us up in our under powered but reliable 4 Runner. Who at times just made a crawl up the hills with everything it had to offer (it would top out at 28m.p.h.). It was very humbling for the sweet "Daddy Man". He has made my heart refreshed. He is a good friend and faithful lover of my soul.

Packing for four days

photo taken in 2004

Now with a family of four we sure take the cake. Beloved and I were in a last minute cuddle of the dark night and we were covering the lists and remembering all the meds, pillows and such. I told him I'm glad we don't have to pack the kitchen sink , he said" well we just might want to encase the trailer sink breaks!" ;)
This has been the most relaxed lay back camping pack ever. I have just flowed without the stress of "I gotta do it right" stuff that used to go on in my head.
I am so excited!
Beloved said to me that he hoped that it will be everything that I expect it to be. I was amazed to respond that I actually had no expectations. I was just looking forward to the time together in the forest.
This trip I did not plan to the nth degree. I really have not planned much at all. Just to think through the meals and confirm we had them covered. I counted the clothing too, but not a pile for each day, rolled into nice little bundles, like I used too. The perfectionist in me is fading into a woman too worn to do such silliness (only if done of compulsion) anymore. I love having things just so and nice. I think that I am ready for a good rest.
Remember right where you are to take a rest today and just not do something so perfectly that you ware yourself out. I did it that way for so many years. I wore me out!
We matter so balance is a gift we must offer ourselves.
Enjoy your weekend!

Honor Your Husband Day #3,4,5,6

I am going to post this for the four days Ill be away from here (blog sphere)

Oh how I am humbled to have this man who loves God.
I just woke up from the most amazing dream.
In my dream there was a crowd of admirer's awaiting my husbands arrival at his big event. Sorta like a book signing for an author. I was standing back and watching all those admirer's. (the woman who lit my fragrance hotter)I hurried to his next stop where two women were selling incense, large long stalks of it. I checked my pocket and had money in it. In the dream, "he" was coming out of the facility I could here the crowds around him. I quickly bought two incense and the women lit them, but one was not burning hot enough and I quickly handed it to her to light it better. I stood incense in hand eagerly, excitedly awaiting his arrival. In my dream, "he" was inundated by his admirer's and I stood back and waved the incense. He worked his was politely through the crowd and then He was before me and we spoke and embraced. My heart was thrilled ! "He" was working his way to me. It was me who through all those admirer's, it was me, who he worked his way toward. I am humbled. He honored me.
"He shall be praised at the gates" Psalm 31
It is our lives that we are to burn as a living fragrance.
This weekend I shall burn strong and relight my flame if it gets dim. The children will crowd his time. Yet even through, it will be so,he will work his way toward me in this throng of life. I will patiently wave the fragrance of my life without jealousy, or envy or strife.
I will wave the fragrance of my love for him. That is my choice. I will patiently wait for my turn. When he does work his way to me I will not spoil the moment by complaining about the throng.

Honor Your Husband Day #2

Today I made my beloved his breakfast cookies. I make these for him weekly now for many , many years. I use pure, organic grains ground here in my mill. Free range eggs, raw sugar pure butter only the best.. This I do for He is my joy and I delight in his good health. He is so very grateful and almost possessive about his breakfast cookies they are prized and treasured. He'll share but you better not waste them. It is a joy to give my talents to him and to watch the enjoyment he finds in a little bit of home on the drive to work. He likes me being able to get a little more rest and quiet time once I have made his lunch and he leaves. The kids are a sleep and I keep the dogs quiet. I love my mornings. When he hugs me and smiles with such heart felt gratitude I am "real" like the Velvetine Rabbit.

POST SCRIPT: I'll do a post on the cookies when I return.

I GET TO GO TO TH FOREST! CAMPING ON THE Mogollon Rim!!

YE PEE!

Post Script
It is really going to happen! I am to finish packing in the cool of the evening. We will pull out the trailer again tonight. I'll work on it tonight and tomorrow A.M. Beloved gets home at 11:30 and I am off. JUST A MOM
Has agreed to watch the big dogs and keep them out of the heat , fed and relieved. It is such a gift to have generous long time friends that you can trust. J. has given most of her adult life to fostering over 30 babies and adopting three. Life can take a tole. This is a woman with a beautiful heart within her.
I can hardly believe it. I get to go camping!
The trailer was a gift to me several years ago after the health crisis slowed and life began to resume as a promise to my ever lovin' forest heart. It is my "cabin in the woods" I think I have gotten to use it no more than for times in the three years we have owned it. You see it weighs about half as much as the truck a 4 runner, so it is not a pleasure for beloved to tow up north. Frankly it is a frightening thing for him to do. He is going to gift me with the challenging of his fears. I do hope and trust all will go well and the 4 runner has no incidences. You see we live within a budget and we choose to not use debt to replace our old 4 runner. We think that that would not be wisdom for our family. We are parents of very young kids when all our peers are now grand parents. We have a mind for our financial future.
So within a shot string of a budget we extend our gratitude for all provision and get to go to the mountains. I'll take my easel and oils, some hand sewing and water paints for the kids. We'll have their bikes too.

linking

So Pam over at Kids Kitchen just gave me a tutorial.

She wrote;
The teacher in me would like to tell you how to make links in your post. When you type a post, highlight the words you would like readers to click on, and then click on the little green link icon. When it pops up, simply type the website you want to link to and click OK. I usually save time by opening the page I want to link to in a new window, copying it, and then pasting it in.

Wordless Wednesday

Island Review Giveaway

That beautiful woman over at Island Review Has set up another give away.

She asks to tell her why "Me Thinks" I might should win such a thing :)

Well with all the joyful glee around here my ears take a beating. Little girl screams and character voices that reach the scales of the hight of alto soprano. With Dash hawk playing Star War roles with the vigor of any six year old who refuses to ware his hearing aids because the sweat blows the batteries!
Well one might think to plug the ear with a little soft sound of music might just take the edge off this Mommas migraines.

A slice of "desert" cake

A new morning.
I awoke (the last time ) at 4:45 today and after we went a moth huntin' (It had been keeping us both awake all night). I went for a walk.
I tried to capture the photo of the sky and the camera was disabled. So I will try to give the image to you by word

Arizona, open horizon. Morning was lifting the vale of shadow into light. The sky is scattered with cloud the high clouds that seem as ocean wave foam here and there off to the distant south the tease of a monsoon. Off to the north and far east more open dispersed forms. Then the crest of the wave broke into the PINK, I mean the kind of pink every four year old little girl wants her mommy to paint her room, PINK. Contrasted by the deep plums in the south. Now the vibrancy of the white encompassing that pink would of made ya think that titanium itself had just been invented. Open horizon 360* worth of gee I'm glad I'm awake.
The air was around a mid 80*s and a soft balmy breeze had just begun to kiss my cheek. I had to turn my I POD off and just listen to those colors of the morning. They sang to me of a new day a, fresh start, better than ... better than a cup of coffee with the chocolate creamer in it! Better than... a laying in the hammock morning. This was wonder and beauty at its top folks.

These summer mornings come at a great cost. Willy Wonka Lab is an infant of a 70lb dog. Who if it were not for the fact that I'm 9 months out from knee surgery (because of him) he would be with me and not driving beloved out of his ever lovin' mind back home while I escaped. The sacrifices a friend will make just so that one might gain a little freedom. It was, too, as if I had escaped, a short prison break of the Mother type. Even though our walls are somewhat self imposed it is true that we moms have a challenge when it comes to time on our own. It is only now, that if it were not for Willy Wonka I would even get to pee on my own. So to go for an early morning desert walk was a real slice of cake with PINK frosting to boot.