Friday, September 14, 2007

The Autumn of our lives.




This is my submission to "carnival of Family Life".
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The autumn of our lives.
We are sorta older folks and I think it is hard to tell if we are the Grand parents or parents of our kids sometimes. The younger sect as a whole is so much more physically energetic, and enthusiastic of activities. I think our kids miss out a lot because of it. I hope that somehow we make up for that in other ways. I have a new reader or new to me over at "cheaper by the dozen". She asked me if I might share more about being an older parent of school age kids.

I Waited 16 years of Marriage for Miss Fiction and 20 years for the Dash hawk. It is a different passage in ones life. Experience and maturity offer a different sometimes misunderstood perspective on parenting. Some of the younger group have a more free outlook on the care and keeping of kids.
For instance Dash has a sweet invitation to a birthday party at a pizza place. The very nice invitation included a note from a very thoughtful mother . To transport him. As thoughtful as it is to remove any inconvenience from my life (being a parent is the very definition of inconvenience by choice) I would NEVER in my wildest dreams offer this to another parent who I did not know. I would not even want that type of liability ( I am speaking on all levels).
As an older wiser parent we think more about liability. It can devastate a family. I have known children to die, misunderstanding between people. Friendships dissolve over a difference that was all based on assumption. These things LIFE teaches you as years flow under your bridge.
The streams are shallow in early years and life is very simple in our youth. With whom much is given it is true that much is required.
In the days of "Leave it to beaver" the world was a different place. People had a different level of expection of character. Now there are just so many Characters out there that kids can not afford us to let them "just be kids " and wander the neighborhoods any longer. It is now the world of liabilities. The stakes are way to high. I will not as a parent make the choices intentionally that would place my kids in a risky position that could demolish the innocence and wonder of childhood. They must first be matured into independent ability to keep them self from present danger. The overt must be understood, then they might be savvy to the covert in our society in order to be "gentle as a dove and yet wise as a serpent". A gentle dove can get swallowed whole by a serpent. We must as parents teach our kids to look out in the grass and then as they age stomp those things to death without getting bit or becoming one of them! Doves can be stupid or at best very naive.
As an older parent I am less naive. I have stomped a few snakes. Got bitten too a few time. They almost ate me whole because no one taught me how to keep an eye in the grass. I, as many of us do, had to learn the hard way . Truly I want more for my children. The snakes have multiplied so terribly in this generation that ya just cant afford to pretend that they aren't
there .

Denial does not clear the lawns.

Yet fear should not rule us either.
Wisdom is the offering we can give to the children.
God's Mercy keep them.

4 comments:

JUST A MOM said...

UM does that make ME a fuddy dud too?

Diane said...

Donetta,
love your thoughts here. Yes, I am a new reader; kinda went on a rabbit trail from the coffeeteabooksandme blog to here. My passage through life is certainly different too as I'm told I'm starting over again. Don't know if it's starting over or just continuing on with making a home and growing a family.
But the energy thing, it ain't what it used to be!

Denise said...

You truly amaze me my dear friend, I love you.

Amrita said...

thanks for sharing your thoughts on motherhood

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

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By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • "HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

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Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
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