Thankful Thrusday
It is late Wednesday night now. We all just returned from a evening at the Skate Land rink. It was a school PTA event to raise funds for the school.
Tomorrow when most of you may read this I will be slaying another dragon.
The day has come for me to go do the Neurological psychological testing to see if I may be facing
Early Onset Dementia.
What a mouth full...It chokes me.
I want to spit it out and wipe my chin
It will be a three hour or so type of intensive , grueling exam with many different aspects.
It is designed to also test for any mental illnesses.
Humble pie...
Well... I have had these test several times before.
It seams this world of doctors just finds it so hard to believe that I am sane given everything I have known. Over and Over it has had to be put in their face , not to give up .
That miracles still happen.
They get to see me a walking , talking breathing example that their profession does matter.
Some of you know my history, if not feel free to visit the other blog.
I know that I am whole, I have even endured 17 hours of tests and diagnostics to be allowed to be certified to adopt the children.
You see the miracle of my survival, and overcoming victory is unprecedented.
So much so that I have been forced over and over and over to go through these tests (the ones pertaining to that aspect of the study)
I have been found to have a remarkably high IQ and sound mind.
The parts of the study that are of concern are regarding the memory loss, and the getting lost.
The concentration loss and the cognitive interferences I am facing .
All this... if it is to be found normal; may indicate that it could simply be due to having PTSD
The neurologist is still not convinced however and due to the spots on my brain that have slightly increased over the last four years want me to continue on.
He said he may want me to to do an impatient study of the brain.
It is his hope that it will disclose any mystery causes to the events that at times interfere with my gait and cause my spoken words to jumble.
I know who I am.
We do not know for sure what is happening with me.
So we trust the process.
I want so badly to just let go and stop all this.
I must be respocible to do my best, I feel confident and yet wonder "what if "...
Of course, pulling up courage leaves little room to let my mind wonder or wander.
For that great courage
that obiedence to passage that drives me on...
For that Friendship with my loving Maker.
I am so very thankful.
I will milk this life for all it will give.
I have fought way , way too hard to let it go easily.
Some of you wonder how I do all that I do.
It is because I can.
I refuse to let this ability go to waist.
I will do good while it is in my power to do it.
"Finally be bold and courageous.
Go forth into the land which I send thee"
It is not a light choice.
It is an act of my will to implement
Courage.
Tomorrow when most of you may read this I will be slaying another dragon.
The day has come for me to go do the Neurological psychological testing to see if I may be facing
Early Onset Dementia.
What a mouth full...It chokes me.
I want to spit it out and wipe my chin
It will be a three hour or so type of intensive , grueling exam with many different aspects.
It is designed to also test for any mental illnesses.
Humble pie...
Well... I have had these test several times before.
It seams this world of doctors just finds it so hard to believe that I am sane given everything I have known. Over and Over it has had to be put in their face , not to give up .
That miracles still happen.
They get to see me a walking , talking breathing example that their profession does matter.
Some of you know my history, if not feel free to visit the other blog.
I know that I am whole, I have even endured 17 hours of tests and diagnostics to be allowed to be certified to adopt the children.
You see the miracle of my survival, and overcoming victory is unprecedented.
So much so that I have been forced over and over and over to go through these tests (the ones pertaining to that aspect of the study)
I have been found to have a remarkably high IQ and sound mind.
The parts of the study that are of concern are regarding the memory loss, and the getting lost.
The concentration loss and the cognitive interferences I am facing .
All this... if it is to be found normal; may indicate that it could simply be due to having PTSD
The neurologist is still not convinced however and due to the spots on my brain that have slightly increased over the last four years want me to continue on.
He said he may want me to to do an impatient study of the brain.
It is his hope that it will disclose any mystery causes to the events that at times interfere with my gait and cause my spoken words to jumble.
I know who I am.
We do not know for sure what is happening with me.
So we trust the process.
I want so badly to just let go and stop all this.
I must be respocible to do my best, I feel confident and yet wonder "what if "...
Of course, pulling up courage leaves little room to let my mind wonder or wander.
For that great courage
that obiedence to passage that drives me on...
For that Friendship with my loving Maker.
I am so very thankful.
I will milk this life for all it will give.
I have fought way , way too hard to let it go easily.
Some of you wonder how I do all that I do.
It is because I can.
I refuse to let this ability go to waist.
I will do good while it is in my power to do it.
"Finally be bold and courageous.
Go forth into the land which I send thee"
It is not a light choice.
It is an act of my will to implement
Courage.
4 comments:
I am lifting you up in my prayers my friend, asking God to be close to you. I love you.
You are a strong woman. I hope that strength will lead you to good results.
I'm thinking of you today. Keep us posted, I'm praying for you.
Hi I have been out of the loop so long that I didn't know you were going through so much! I will be praying all will be well! You do so good!! Love and hugs Grams
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