Mother and Daughter Blog Carnival

Russia 1997


Half a world away



The image of a daughter, My daughter...Who I would have to wait months to see.
Real Life is hosting a carnival
"Somewhere out there if Love can see us through... someone is thinking of me and loving me tonight..." popular in 1997 was the children's movie "Fivel goes west"
Another song was within me during those long months "ode to Joy!'

Oh my Dove, Sweet Little Dove how you have grown. Your very name means captivating, God's gift and so you are and always have been.
Now you are 10, 10 how did it happen... 10.
Waiting those 16 years for you in my arms always knowing you would come from the womb of another. Now I see you, your smile, you are my own child.
Tonight reading to your brother surrounding him in all of who you are you shone.
So vividly your glory, your beauty of spirit shines.
Your broken wings whole, your caged life freed. Your flight restored. Peace surrounds you. I believe in you. So many hours sacrificed to save another, your little brother. You shared us as few children ever have to do. Never will you be alone it is our hope you will always have each other.
Developing into a pre-teen I can hardly believe my eyes. All around you is your glory entering into the you of your lifetime. You SHINE.
I need so much wisdom whether to proceed with intervention for your academic success with I.E.P. and all the other players I am missing just you and me. What ever I do now, I do all for your life your future. Putting aside the hours and times you must spend with others. I lay me down child with great humility. I miss you and all those hours lost to others who helped you restore.
For it was given to me this awe inspiring charge to be held: Mother.
I need so to see you and brush away all of the disabilities that hound for interventions. They clutter the view of who you are. I just want to be...Mother.
Your imagination astounds me the artistry of drama and prose. You are doing so well in school. Your ability to function is thrilling me to no end. I am so happy for you. Miss fiction my Dear.
Songs fill you and joy peaks then it explodes. I wish so much loud sound was welcome and painless for me. Your voice song is glorious and beautiful and innocently pure!
You have the most amazing golden eyes, a face so sweetly embraced with the kindness of pleasant appearance, freckles I see so cute honey... I love you . I know your hair is fair and you wish it the same as mine, your skin is pale and against my arm a difference is there, but you are my child who I simply adore. I wanted so much more for you. I never want to remain in regret that I could have done more. Knowing I have done and am doing all I am able to do. I hope that when I am old you will sup at my table.
I am so sorry you lost me for a time when you were three to illness and strangers coming for tea. All those Mothers and Sister the Aunts in the Lord who kept us and kept you while my health was restored.
Oh child, it is a part of God's plan to make you who he created you to be, I wish I could erase all the hours of tortured pain with you away from my lap . Dove I regret it, I missed out on those few years Dear Child. But you are mine. I am hear. You are near and I will draw close to you and you to me. For more than just a few years before the teen times of pulling away. When if I succeed independence you will have gained, a life of your own. Able and strong, free, walking wise and brave into your future.
Dove I have you today.
Today and tomorrow and every moments life breath. My daughter.