Late Night Loneliness

I am in a lot of pain tonight.
I had a post to write for the other blog and it left my heart hurting.
We took the kids to a wave pool and that left my knee and back hurting too.
I'm sad and sorry for the hurt in the world.
I wax human, mortal and clay.

My Beloved rests He needs it, so do I but I need to wait for the Advil to kick in and lighten the pain. I had asthma bite me at the pool today. I had swam a long lap, I felt so free and so strong. I reached the pool edge and I had a truck on my chest . I was sucking air so bad I felt sorta afraid. I held the edge and walked into the shallows. When the wave pool was on I stayed with Dash in the shallow while Daddy Man and Dove went to the depths, Oh she is so athletic and loves the intense play. Dove is so amazingly beautiful and jollies in her Daddies attention. Kids both wear vests so I am O.K. with it. I wear a inner tube because I just can not trust my knee if someone knocks into me or if I have to grab Dash. Dash is not O.K. in the deeps so I keep him close with me. It was a lot of fun watching him glory in his boyhood. I feel sad my bones won't do what my mind thinks they should (wishes they could). I must loose some weight and try to get a strengthening(maybe the insurance will cover the shots) , and continue to come to terms with my physical limitations. It pulls a vacuum! (sucks!) pg blog :)

I miss my Mom (or the role of one for me) tonight and all the others who have passed on. I am sad. I miss my good friend Mary Margret she passed way too soon. Marjorie my sweet Sister in Christ is a sweet memory now, so many years gone by. Maybe they are up there at His right hand praying for me now cause I'm crying. I only cry when I am feeling loved. I'm just having a good "rip the gut" cry. When I was in my bed just laying there before I came back in here, I just ask God to read me scripture in my head. They flowed like pink lemon aide I love the scripture His voice within me. I love who it has caused me to become. I just can't believe that I was once so different, but I am. I am .
I am so loved so endowed with every good thing around me. I have everything I could of ever dreamed of surrounding me in persons and possessions. I am so blessed, so whole, so loved.
My weeping pours out of me it physically hurts.

Oh Dear Anonymous you have touched something so deep within me that I heal in its weeping, its pain.
I won.
Thank you.