Recapturing the Nest.

For many years I had the same home in Scottsdale, that was sixteen years to be exact. I gardened the land and made it my own. I painted every nook and made every corner my own.

This weekend I recaptured the nesting I once felt about my old home. I had moved 22 times in my first 18 years of life and had never really nested until then. We left that home as the nicest on the block. Recently I realized that the outside of this place was the worst house on the block. Our yard was yuk, and with the exception inside with the painted walls and draped windows inside the outside was abandoned. After many surgeries and having two special needs kids complete with all there medical interventions and therapies I had a neglected nest. I had abandoned all hopes for it.. Instead I began a vision of a home in the forest and just past time here. It was beginning to just be a place to clean and keep up and pay the mortgage on. I had the mommies syndrome of "how many times can you pick up the same thing and put it away and wash the same dish, floor, tub etc..

I nested this weekend. I never really felt home here before. After very careful considerations of all pros and cons and options we faced: we realized we were best off to keep this home and stay here. I want to LIVE here in this HOUSE "BECOME HOME". I want to fight for it again.

I worked all day in the back yard to take it back. I have been working on a green lawn and now the sunflower house is getting bigger. I want to learn how to do my photos more easily without having to depend on hubby. Perhaps I will do like Gumbo Lilly and start posting life and my daily events . I truly am very blessed. I have a great estate and It is beautiful and Hubby is gonna get asked lot more to help out and not put off the things that are called for. I am the CEO of this estate and it is up to me to take better care to see that its needs get met. When I ask for help and get the old " I forgot because it really doesn't matter to me " excuses I am not gonna go passive! It must matter! This is our home> THIS IS MY HOME>

Where ever we live I want to stay long enough to raise the kids in one spot. I want them to know a sense of belonging I never knew as a kid. I also need that. So as much as I want the forest I receive what I have and if God were to somehow make a way to the high country I think I might just feel a little panic to loose what I have now, an established home and community. We have friends here who are so very dear to me and also family that I really don't even know well. A sense of affiliation is just as important and that dream of the aesthetics of a tree lined yard. Sometimes the things we think we really want have a very high price to them. higher than we could ever really see. I'm thankful that my eyes can see that and that my heart can receive it. It doesn't always pay to get what you want.