Dove had a wonderful performance of Annie Oakley it went well.  

I made her some metals for her costume

We are all a little sick however a sinus thing. Not to pretty good to need to attend that two days before infusion. I was sick by morning with a stuffy head. I am so glad I went though. I would never want to miss a single event.
I had the pharmacy send some masks for the future if I need then around Christmas.
I had my 6th infusion today. It went well except for the 5 sticks for the veins kept collapsing from the PTSD body response. Not a mental or emotional thing, my body just wanted no part of being stuck. She would get the needle into vein and then it would just co-laps in rejection of it. Lot of pain in that. It was so disappointing. That one bad experience with that other nurse just tuned my body into being hyper sensitive to it. It was a physical defense.
We used music and a sedative then the stick in back of hand was done her and Steve kept it from me a few minutes until my heart rate and breathing mellowed. It stayed in after that. We were able to do a 5 hour 30 minute infusion. I slept off the stress then was fine. only 1/4 dose of anti nausea meds.

I better go try to get some sleep. After sleeping so much today it is not too attractive to sleep.

Is your life how you wished it would be?

gorilla on back

stiffened into still

gasping living life

wills mixed venue new

 reality removes dream

world kills purity

gentle heart lost time

entertainment violent

pleasure lives alone

where is life's beauty

look see soil growing green

 witnessed my dream

tender child pure heart

touch it living round us now

before you are gone

come back to me please

when soil steps in beating heart

those dreams of mine told

cant hear all is dull

flashing screen the living thing

plundered through eye

cry she please look see

life it passes by blind eye

only just a game?

bird sky river high

sit beside a laughing stream

dancing wild flowers

walk with me a while 

i need to live eyes face smile

just to walk a mile

a  child's face to mine

dreamed to groom their sweet mind

teach of tender things

still wonder wisdom

quiet exaltation way

yet this day I pray

Amazing! Financial Goals can be accomplished

With hanging out laundry your electric balanced monthly can come down several dollars a month. Well multiply that by 12. It adds up every little thing adds up. There are so many little ways that can make big changes. Sweater not thermostat. This alone has reduced our balance monthly plan by $5 a month so far. They reevaluate it through out the year so don't give up if it did not show the goal as well as desired.

Rhonda over at down to earth blessed me with the skill of homemade laundry soap. In turn how fun it is to help support others as well. We all have ideas of living more wisely. Whether to be 'green' or simply economical. Funny thing is no matter the goal reducing waste is the product! It is just good sense and always has been to respect what you have. Golly we all work so hard for it.


Savings Accounts do not have to be hit throughout the year. Nor do we have to find ourselves using our tax returns and overtime to cover budget overages. Although savings may be minimal it can be accomplished! If it is in budget before any expenses are even listed. Some day if partial retirement  comes it will really be a boon. Having no credit cards to depend on is a calculated risk. One that is a motivator and self discipline. It pays off in so many many ways. Debt free is a real marriage pleaser.

So the savings goal is a part of the long term safety net. Some day we hope to have a three months worth of no touch net. If  God forbid we would ever be laid off panic would have a bit of ease. This will be hard work. Every family is struggling hard. Helping our families to be focused through the struggle is vital. It is far too easy for some to just throw in the towel and pull out the credit card. Resist it with all your worth. Instead pull out some imaginative resistance and creative budget cuts.
With persistence your grocery can be all homemade. The savings alone will blow your mind and build your budget.

Resisting the temptations of criticism is another hard issue. Those woe is me lies that hit when others come up with cash out of thin air to get things that we chose not to afford. Those are the hard times when focus is the goal. Freedom from the money stress the reward. Sits much better than that pretty new sofa over at the friends house. Good lessons in envy removal. Facing envy really makes the character overcome it by choice. If no one ever had more than we would not want much more than we have for the most part.

No malls, catalogs, fliers or commercials. Guard your eyes and do not touch that is the one thing that causes us to purchase more than anything. Merchants know once in the hand a buyer is 90+% more likely to buy. Learn their tricks this holiday season. So that you can be Merry not caught up in that horrid buyers remorse. Enjoy the shopping with intention and watch out for the snakes in the grass. The pocket it the place they most like to bite ya this time of year.

Christmas can be done on a budget, projected out and set aside. It is a real peace maker. Speaking of making...start up those crafting skills. Come visit me over at A Place to Create. My machines and needles will begin a spinning.

Gotta fly the kids want to play tickle bug on the big bed.......enjoy your night

Christmas shopped within the budget

Morning greeted me early today. So nice to be rested at 5 a.m. What a wonderful way to start after a good sleep. That sleep greeted me in the face when I walked into the door. Mom was TIRED! I walked right into the bedroom laid on the bed clothing on and everything. Even before the kids were put to bed!
We had gone over the the far west valley for an early thanksgiving at the home of a niece and the great nieces and nephews. The husbands nephews by marriage. 

Myself, My Sister and my SILove formerly my brothers wife. It was her and her kids that hosted us

We had a mall trip with three kids,  on Saturday and the same thing be the end of that day too. Felt so good to get some sleep. Funny how sweet it is waking when you don't HAVE too but your ready to. Refreshed.

This morning it was sweet to greet the kids and the tasks and my gentle husband

We have been saving long and hard and carefully assigned a budget and then split it for the kids. Today I was able to tend to much of it and am all but done. It will be a thankful year of few boxes but great wishes.
It is so nice to have a year of humility. It brings some balance to the hearts that wish to give everything and the moon. Alas, we have everything we need. We have so many things we want. So few to count when hearts of contentment measure higher in the cup. Measuring up to recipe that will empower us to overcome the 'i wants' of old. The old being "Sorry for me" by measuring you sorta thing.

Going to the mall Saturday spending only $1 on some mints WITH THREE KIDS and no wining was terrific! it left lingering wants and if's only. I found the coolest Bohemian store and just loved the look so use what I had to try to copy it. DO NOT GO TO MALL :)  So I came home and played with what I had and became satisfied without sway until I thought of how others might perceive me. The great slip up set out by envy and low self confidence. However I felt glorious when I threw out those "they might thinks...'

So this day met the list within the limits! Keep track of all the 'if only' that might reach into pocket and make a big old pie of buyers remorse.

It really feels happy inside me to have no dread or fear. We worked hard to save noted every dollar and it really paid off. NO DEBT!
Sewing ahead, beading too. But no malls no stores not a moment of stress or feeling like a cheep, "bad mom" for not pouring out. They know our true love by the example they get not by the stuff. Stuff out of a guilt offering just offers up well....guilt
That is a gift that is given without freedom to the giver or the recipient.

Do I pine? 

yep a little bit, but I'll get over it.

They are not hurting a bit!

Their hearts desires met.

Intentionally teach children and adults to never use the 'R' word

click here Parenthood see the first few minutes of a fathers grocery store encounter from minutes 3:03 to minutes 5.05
  watch as a father deals with the ignorance...HE also deals with a well meaning Grandpa who inter-ups the process of teaching the kid the boundaries parents of special needs kids often struggle with. There are reasons that limits must be set and stood by. Support parents who are in these positions.
I showed this too my kids today after we heard Dove use the 'R' word (retard). She used it toward an inanimate object but still she must understand.Please teach the kids to never use it.
This is a wonderful thing I think to use for an example. Perhaps not the best example by the father but yet a great opportunity to teach empathy.
Teaching children intentionally to be a defender will show them how to handle it when that day comes.

Mamma's Feather Bed

 There is an old John Denver song that I dearly love. A song about family, children playing and having fun on an old feather bed. Last night the old feather bed became ready for the cool season. With lows now in the 40's it was time. Over the summer this project kept me busy. This is the duvet cover. Within it is a wonderful thick feather comforter that my dear sweet BILove gave us so many many years ago.
The cover acts like a big pillow case over top of the white ticking to keep it clean. It also keeps allergies at bay. The fabric is a 600 thread count. Now that is extravagant but if you keep a sharp eye out at clearance stores or in the racks of those stores that sell them often you can get seconds or irregulars that are just fine. The higher the thread count however the better and longer service you will get out of the clothe.

 This pillow has been a long term effort of mine. A little a day on it. It has been passed by when knees needed to be fixed and pants patched for the kids. Yesterday I finished it! It is of upholstery fabric that was given to me. A wonderful Jacquard silk, the appliqued center was fused first with a double sided adhesive then sewn. It has a pillow case fabric on the back. The fabric was too stiff for my liking as a pillow case so it was put to use here and matched the bedding well. It is zippered center back.

This was the big task. The fringe was found years back at a wal-mart for $1 a yard. I bought all they had.
For so long I dreamed of doing a wonderful bed set.
This chair was a gift from my MILove and FILove, the nurse sits here when I am sleeping during the infusions. It makes for a nice cozy setting. Steve has a place as well for his robe.

Now this is the 'big bed' as the kids call it (a California king). My darling is 6'4" tall and his feet still almost go off the end. We will often play tickle bug. One of us will coyly challenge the other and we all run to the big bed and tickle and giggle all and all just play! It is the wonderful moments of tying those cords that bind us to each other. It is most always just the  kids and I. Sometimes we get the daddy man to join in not often. It is the time when I and the kids bond and laugh hard. It is a fine art with the sensory integration issues.

Dash is very sensitive, Dove loves the intensity. They are both so much calmer. Often I get a split lip or a good bump on the cheek, it's all good though. We will wind down with a game of hide and seek or night Watchman where one kid has a flashlight and we have to freeze so we are 'not seen'. Taking turns. It is really funny and so charming to see the glee on the faces. I love that they are both so sweet as to allow the play of youth.

This morning my dear husband was so enamored. He thanked me for the comfort of the feather bed. He was so tender, really. He said "thank you for making up such a comfortable bed. It is just like being encased so wonderful!".
Funny thing how awesome a well made bed can make a body feel.

Thankful Thrusday

Good Evening!
Thanks for your prayers. Silly woman forgetting to take the allergy medication before an allergy injection. Next thing ya know I'll....I'll           oh i forgot what I was going to say...hahah

This was a good day with the children home due to the veterans day. So grateful for those who have fought so hard and so long in so many many battles. Veterans of all kinds. Wars between nations, battles over lives including their own. Warriors who pray for the battle of others too. Suppose most folks have become a veteran of differing wars. We know yes that this is the day for our nations war veterans. It just got me to thinking.
Each life has a battle of its own. Many more than one alone. It is the courage to face those who battle against us for battles sake. Often forgetting what the fight was for long before the ammunition is gone.

One good thing about forgetting, it removes the focus onto the dead and dieing, those who lay bleeding on the field. Those who we have pity on cause us to question the wars we enter.
Variations of wars over Bodies, souls and even of our own spirit.

Think those who fight for the bodies, souls and spirits of others I so admire. Whether on enemy soil or our own. Over seas or in our own living rooms. We can be for or against. We can not live really without taking a side. Even in not choosing sides we already have chosen. Funny thing that.
Begs the question...just what are we fighting for. Suppose a good clear idea of that might bring back the tenacity to win through the wherry battle.
Fighting for or against the lives around us. Fighting to prove our self right, another wrong? Or fighting for what is right. Although even that can be as elusive as the opinion on the point. Each man has his own. Could another ever really stop, stop to even consider the other opinion?
Well this wandered off into a deep thought.
Just something to ponder.

Thankful that we are free to ponder things, if we are free within our self. Suppose that is the greatest battle to face really.

Prayers Please

Today Dash and I went to get our allergy shots. I forgot to take the medication first. My arm has a baseball size lump. Itchy as the dickens. We also had flu shots. I got the kids home from the office ran into the rest rooom all but to vomit. Mercy a big boo boo, mistake.
We weren't sure if it was the flu shot or the other. Now with the ball no joke on my arm well. I slept three hours should of gone to urgent care earlier. Steve offered to take me. A few crackers and my allergy meds took a bit of a hold. I just realized that there was a bennadril in the ivig supplies so here I sit awaiting it to help. I do not want to go anywhere just need it to reverse on it's own.

So think on these things...

Thankful 

The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today… Monday, November 8, 2010
Outside my window... Evening shadows have fallen into the dark of early night. Peaks through the dark a light through soft clouds. The rose is turning into a powder gray. Day is done
I am thinking... How lovely it is to listen to the worship and praise music from the Homespun sight. Peaceful. The kids are laughing with the daddy man in the other room. This is the heaven I wished and worked so hard toward. Here in this moment. Let all care and worry leave me now.
I am thankful...My heart has returned to me some. A wonderful reminder through the sweet mutual friendship offered Sunday. A dear friend and I spent most the day in the gardens. Just commiserating (commiseration - The act of commiserating; sorrow for the wants, afflictions, or distresses of another; pity; compassion) together.
I am wearing... jeans, cornflower blue sleeveless sweater of a set, soon to put the long sleeve one on as it is cooling here next to the open window.
I am remembering... The journey called my life. The amazing adventures in overcoming those things that would of loved to remove my resolve. How many years I fought not allowing life to ware me out. Thinking on how it is to weep rest and refresh in the love of the presence of my God, my Father giver of life.
I am going... To be home here for several days this week tending to the heart of the home. You'll find me watering the germinating gardens both veggie/herb and the flower patches.
I am reading... The Egoscue Method Of Health Through Motion
I am hoping... That my husbands employer gets some job orders in so these folks can work without layoffs
On my mind... How and what can I do diligence too to help out as much as I can . Our budget needs and meal preparations. conserve utilities and use resources as wisely as possible. Wo four hours sleep last night I am getting tired.
From the learning rooms…Dove is doing Annie Oakly in a few weeks so that is the center of focus, Dash is interested in levitation, wait for it..."ya know mom it is just a stunt a trick. Were gunna figure it out. That way we can show them that it is just a magic trick" yes our jaws dropped and we had to hold a grin back.
Dash was in the yard trying to hold his full weight on a wrist holding a stick. 
Pondering these words..."When I come here it is like a refuge, a safe place to come and just rest. It is the safe place here on earth for me"....she said. My heart was warm. Touched deeply at the difference this home I make offers others.
From the kitchen… homemade lasagna, cole slaw, chocolate chip cookies still warm on the counter. The afternoon spent as sue chef chopping dicing and washing produce. Menu preparations for the week. Pies to bake for an early Thanksgiving supper on Sunday at my niece's home with all that clan and the great nieces and nephews.
Around the house... I have been catching up on all the years of dead filing that was unattended due to all the interventions with the kids and also with my own health. It is looking up. Gardens in, all but the root crop to finish out.
One of my favorite things: My child's invitation to come play a board game.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Baking, gardens in, resting some. Sewing a pillow for the master bedroom. Changing the kids linens.Completing the files so as to have all 7 years of tax documents in separate file folders finished. Then to get order to all this years stuff to be ready ahead of time for the tax work in January.
From my picture journal...

The effects of time with a friend

If you would like to join us in The Simple Woman's Daybook, please see Peggy for details.

Dash Individualized Education Plan Meeting

 Speech therapy

 In early 2007

22 miles one way

 This is the wall of photo's of all of the kids who were helped by the CRS childrens' rehab before they lost the funding. Dash is in red on the bottom.

 In November of 2006 He was fitted with his first hearing aides

 This after several months of intervention, paperwork and all the other things that were a part of the jurney.
He had surgery back in 2004? for the deformity of throat and such.

 Even then He had to understand and the woman was so amazing at that.

 This was just before Dove had her oral surgery to remove the supernumerary tooth in her upper palate. She still had those adorable buck teeth. She was so excited. Dash was apprehensive.

 She put them in and turned him around. Then she turned them on and had me speak to him, at that instant turning the chair around. This is what I saw the first time he heard me clearly. I will never forget that day as long as I live. Look at that joy.

Well now here it is almost exactly four years later. He hears much better. This morning was held the meeting for the review of the IEP at the school. He was released of speech therapy, relieve of the hearing specialist, removed from the IEP and given a 504 status. He is a straight A student with great behavior.The 504 will give him special consideration for preferential seating. We will use a speaker on the desk and the teacher will use a microphone. I would not sign until it was added that his (any) teacher would be given the education and support to be able to use skills to help him and others of hearing impaired kids. They sorta dismissed me. I held my ground. It was added,
then I signed. These are amazing people I am dealing with this time. Same as last with Dove. So much easier than the years of battles before.

One of his hearing aides is broken so unless we are able to come up with the funds to replace it this will have to do for now. I almost cried (well I did). So in junior high we must have the aids repaired and in place. For there the speaker will just not due. They change classes throughout the day.
So today My Sweet Boy is so accomplished that he is able to use a speaker on desk. Now however this places him at the (lack of) mercy of an obnoxious kid who is intent on not making it easy for him.

Hugo is not in this image

Please pray for a boy named HUGO that his heart might be healed in his needs for attention so that Dash can benefit without the hassle this boy has to offer. As of now with the over 400 kids Dash is only one of two who are hearing impaired. The other is VERY special needs and Dash could not really gain they feel. That sweet kid is handicapped by needs.
Dash was very regressive Sunday night. His RAD (reactive attachment) was flagging big time. The sweet baby is feeling a stress belonging issue due to being different. I need lots of wisdom as due the educators in supporting him. I have a little boy in the evenings and early mornings. Not too bad today. I can see he is really trying to be strong.

100 things I like about you for your child

Yesterday while thinking of all the things that leave me concerned about my daughter/son it dawned on me that my focus had become rather negative.
So early Friday morning began in prayer for the kids. At #24 for Dove the school morning was to be managed and the list set aside.
It was however a wonderful beginning of an exercise in Love. What matters most is how we see our self. So it is new eyes that the kids need to look into the reflection of who they are. I must be a mirror for them.
This on going list will keep me in the mind of knowing who they are so that raising them in the direction of who they might become, talents, interest and skill sets. It made a wonderful difference in the morning. The way I saw my daughter was so much more fond. She is a teenager right now. Some mornings reminding yourself that she is not her hormones or irritability is a must. It is so hard for her. Teenagers have such a hard time with all of the developmental phases they have to go through. Sure miss her.
It is my hope to copy the list and give it to her.
Then to make one for Dash.
Perhaps one for my husband too.

sharpen your knives

 The most dangerous tool in a kitchen is a dull knife.

There are a variety of honing stones, electric as well as hand held items to use in doing so.

 This is a fine tool as well. Mine is another brand and over 30 years old I lost two of the stones for the glue gave way. Still a great tool.

 My electric sharpener is probably a good 25 years old or so. This has been a great tool for the ease of effort. I still like to finish with a honing stone however for that fine edge.

 The Japanese professional is my favorite. However it does take some skill and practice to do so. What I will often do is use the electric one to grind out any nicks and then the stone to hone the edge.

Keeping good care of our tools helps our tools to take good care for us when we use them.

Bar Keeper Friend is a wonder product I have used for years.

This stuff is also awesome on tile floor problem areas, porcelain sinks and so many other items as well.

So remember to keep a safe kitchen with sharpened knives. You can find many tutorials on line. Teach yourself this useful skill you'll enjoy good knives for a life time. Remember if they are kept in drawer to sheathe them to protect the blades. One day the dream is a nice magnetic bar on the side of the cabinet. In drawer has been the safest while my kids are younger.

Thankful Thursday *grateful or gratified*

Goals can have a way of derailing us out of a life of gratification if those goals are taken as an end all.
We can be very grateful and yet yearn to see others happy so much that we might loose focus of the goal being a process. Goals are a wonderful focal point. They give us a plan of approach toward a long term design.  If that design however does not remain fluid to some measure we can forget the gratitude of the moment. If the goal gets delayed or temporarily delayed, we can get rather fussy and miss the moment.
With all design with all diligence yes the responsibility of achievement is an important part of life. It can however become an all consuming force removing anything else from view.
Remaining gracefully effective is still centered in a mind grateful for even the smallest of measure.
Awaiting the arrival of steps toward an end often means realizing that it is this moment that could so easily be lost without gratitude. Gratitude for every, I mean every little gift of grace, mercy and favor. Loosing that is a very dark place.
Lighten up with gratitude. Eyes open to even a butterfly.
With the stress of this nation facing the end of it's gluttony do not forget that we are a people with yet more abundance than almost every nation surrounding us.
We as a people were so gratified that perhaps it has become our best interest to be humbled back where we ought to be...grateful

Field trip today to the Rosin House in Phoenix Az

 This sweet teacher is 32 to 1 this class room is small.

 Several of us parents helped out today. Delightfully two dads, three of us ladies on a grandmother.

 Several of the kids recognized me and greeted me so sweetly. Helping the teacher collect the homework and signing the planners was so uplifting. It has been a very long time sense I had been on the school ground. This is the first time this school year for me to go over there. With the immune issues I have had to use great care. In January I hope to begin the art teaching however it will have to be timed very carefully. I was so happy being with the children again.

 We all hiked over to the bus, We had two buses three classes. 

We three had 16 of ours on board.

The teacher gave me only 2 boys mine and his buddy, then two others.

It was very thoughtful of her, she kept my burden light.

The other parents had 7-9 kids each.

 We arrived with some issue. The other bus had failed in a poorer part of the inner city. NOT GOOD. We were to drop our load off and then the driver was to go get the other kids. Somehow one of the other parents on board was able to fix the bus. They arrived shortly thereafter.
It was so funny, when our driver was trying to hear the CB radio to help the other bus our 69 kids were too loud. The one teacher on board was trying to hush them.
My years of service with the earlier classes and the relationship with so many of the kids paid off.

I clap, clap, clap..clap..clap as we did in the earlier years. The kids instinctively joined in after the first two claps and instantly 60 kids were silent! The teacher looked at the other parent wide eyed.
As did all the parents on board. I praised the kids all. As I calmed the fears (unspoken) by so many of them.

I felt so alive.

We arrived and had several stops as the groups were split into smaller units. My four had seven added. The teacher of Dash's class joined us. It was the grandmother, teacher and I. Very pleasant load.

 They spoke of desert foods and tried hot pepper jelly and cactus jelly. The other apron-ed women were volunteers at the museum.
This is one of the oldest homes in Phoenix. Once 20 years ago a decapitated mess. Pure Edwardian era prize. All original 119 years old. No photos inside allowed. This is the back side where the kids exited. WE adults not allowed per fire code.

 We all had lunch next as we adults watched over the bathroom break with great diligence. There were several homeless men in the area. One came upon the bathrooms and I greeted him. He patently awaited the exit off all of the kids. I was like a mother goose with wing outstretched literally until last kid out then I stepped back. For a second man approached and HE was NOT gonna go in unless through my wing.

 There was a story time of desert plants, the kids got to plant a seed. I loved this arbor.

 This delightful elder was so beautiful of spirit as well. I thanked her for her service. She was so well humored. I errored in speech (forgetfulness), her loving reply was "don't dwell on it, now go on..." Oh the wisdom of the elders. It was so loving.

 The kids got to do a project with the compass star, a floor plan lay out as well identifying space. This building is 80 years old. Now for you back east the west is young.

 At the end the volunteers from the museum came and got all of us teachers and parents and we got to have a private tour! Oh I was so excited!

The ride home was delightful with two little girls being silly behind me and I playing a big bad old woman who was going to get them. It was so fun.

So alive. After retuning to the school I had to go home to get Dash's violin and go back again. Well after an half hour nap the kids were home, later after homework another child came. His grandmother hung out so Steve and I could go vote. NO LINE!

We came back by then the number of kids in the yard had grown my two and then three others in no time, moments later another boy with his dog. I feel so alive surrounded by the children. So blessed.
Well better get some rest. They only have a half day tomorrow. I have a lot of laundry that dried on the line Monday to finish folding. Laundry undone is far less important than being and or making a difference in the lives of the children.