Marriage Monday "Is Divorce Ever Right?"

"Is Divorce Ever Right?"

I have been married over 25 years! I have watched the marriages of many of my peers. I have watched sand bars ship wreck them. Ill informed decisions.There have be those marriages that are simply two ships in the night passing by each other perhaps bumping into each other in only physical ways (gratifying each other sexually but nothing more). There are those who have entered into it and tried all they might to be "sub-servant" as if that were the measure of a mate. Now those marriages were ship wrecked. For the two become one not the one is lord over the other. Often when the legalisms wear off they are left with choices that were not true to the heart with bitterness and resentment settled in (in some cases children that were not truly desired are left to suffer).
Our marriage was a triad from the begining. Yet we were wounded as are so many in young adulthood. I had prayed for a man that loved God (not a religious man). I also asked for a home of my own.
We went through so many hard times. I remember when I was at my lowest point in recovery (see my other blog) that I told my husband that he should divorce me to save himself from a life of difficulty. He angrily told me to "Shut up!". I tried so hard to push him at are needful to attain maturation and restoration from the challenges away to see if he would really stay and be there for me if he truly would always be there for me.
He said Donetta, "I made a vow to you, I love you by choice. I have promised God and you to stay by you in sickness and in health."
I spent 7 long years in and out of surgeries and of mental institutions walking the path to restoration from sever abuse and torture. I was a walking wounded. He walked beside me and was healed right along side of me. You see he showed me first that he loved me. When he went through the healing of the wounds of his life I was able to walk right there beside and along the road with him too. He had been my example. It is important here to develop boundaries but not bitterness and accusations.
Life is hard. Few offer the lessons to us th that this world dishes out.
I above all else guarded my heart from bitterness. I, as he has had, every right to become embittered at times.
It is by choice that we lay down those rights.
We have watched countless marriages where dysfunctional relationships become embittered battle grounds for resentment. Immaturity and selfishness center the stage to a focus that leaves families and partners in the shadows of the light. Greed and devistation embroil a family into so much debt that the very breadth of relationship is all but extinguished.
Aside from violence, (removing yourself to safety) and infidelity (though I have watch restoration in other marriages, even of these wounds) I see no wound to great that healing through mutual true repentance is impossible.
We make a choice.
We cut covenant.
A good understanding of covenant is helpful here. This is vow.
At 25 + years by walking through this agreement over and over never once giving into the option. For us there is no other option, we had made a choice to overcome all wounds with respect to the heart of our mate. Believing so deeply in each others full potential.
In every decision there is a price and a gain.
In the midst of emote those things can be cloudy.
Consider wisely if the gain is even there to leave.
For history repeats itself and until your wound become whole you will just marry the polar opposite or the same man different suit.
If bitterness sets a root. If healing is impossible (nothing is with God and the free will choice He gives us) and hardness sets in.
Some hardness is so vial and bitter. Violence soon adds license in these things and it is a very unsafe place to be.
He did give them the writ of Divorce
because of the hardness of their hearts.
May it never be that my heart harden...
Now that is an act that is also of my will every day every moment.
To learn to understand and not get hardened to behavior. It is to Understand the "why" of the thing that can often free up the healing and the real heart of the man can be observed. They are as we walking wounded . A major epic is unfolding. We are all important in the story of it. Not that one should fall into the despair of broken dreams. Dreams however are only a hope and expectations are a set up to disasters.

Good Morning,

Just friendly reminder that Marriage Monday is right around the corner (March 3, 2008).

By majority vote, our topic will be, "Is Divorce Ever Right?" Here's an opportunity to share your wisdom, Scriptural knowledge, experience, quotes, or any other insights you might have. Please feel free to approach this vital subject from any angle you feel led. The idea is to promote some vigorous thought and discussion, so all points of view are welcome and encouraged.

See you at Chrysalis on Monday!

Blessings,

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

"WHICH WOLF ARE YOU FEEDING?"

There's an old fable about a Cherokee Indian elder who was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside you. It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight going on inside of you is inside every other person, too."
The children thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee elder replied simply, "The one you feed."

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:19-21

Photo Hunt

This weeks theme is party.
It has become my party to dismantle this home. I am so excited at the new awaiting adventure.
Every day I walk into what I see for myself that day. It is all coming together.
I party at the freedom to pack up all my beads and await the next chapter, when I can once again open up the wonder of this skill. I am parting on with the excitement that after i settle into our next home...I will be taking classes in this art form to continue my education!
For now the studio is partied out! It is time for it to be put to (box) bed.

Leep Day 2008 *The House is Painted*

Well our leap day was not idle nor was it wasted :)
Ha!
I think God has something in the works here.
I am getting so excited about the future for my family

Cocooned into my home not even 24 hours after hiring the painter.
His team had a huge industrial job that started on this coming Tuesday.
If we were willing to start the job right away he would knock off $1400. in labor!
He came with such high reviews we accepted. He asked me not to tell how much our agreement was. It was a smoking deal They used Dun Edward paint with additive to make it water proof. High end paint on the house and we paid a little extra for the high end paint on the fence wall.
They started Thursday at noon (power washing it),
and finished Today Friday at 4 P.M.!
It was a 5 man ,1 woman crew.
They still need to come back to do the front door for the fellow said he needed to get the right stain. It was neglected on the contract but I had the owners word on it and I trust him to be of good Character!

They re-surface the patio roof as well. The dry wall tape had failed. It looks beautiful!
The prep and taping occurred as I was with beloved at the doctors. We had to leave the garages open with all my beads and stuff. I had to go to get the repertory help I needed. Sometimes ya just have to trust. I also prayed that wonderful prayer... that they would resist temptation:)

My tree is sick...
Please join me in saying a prayer for it. It is such an important part of our yard.

I love my color selection!

We walked around it several times and every flaw was cared for. Caulking in one hand and paint in another.
I just saw that down spout.
I need to get that trimmed in the body color up to the gutter.

The sweet fellow saw me trying to clean the porch and stopped me.
He even hosed off the patio for me.

Look how beautiful the master bedroom windows look.

We now need to tend to the yard and have it de-thatched.
I think we can rent one,
but I'm not pushing it. I am very allergic to grass.

Aloha Friday

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So I thought that on Fridays I would take it easy on posting, too. Therefore, I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing heavy or too thought-provoking.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and a link on Kalani's blog.

My Question....

What is your favorite animal or bird. Domestic or not, and why?

I think often of the wolf. He is so free and wild. To me he is the epitome of wild, untamed and pure union with the earth. Powerful yet so tender with the young. They are just so wild and pure to the way they were created. The wolf is pure beauty especially wild. Mysterious and silent except to worship. The way all the others of his kind to respond in like manner. It's the howling at the moon thing.

I know all you you dear ranchers may not feel this way. I am speaking of the wild wolf who has a place to live freely. Many yes have lost that place to encroachment. Life happens even to them. They were once the predator that kept the weak and sick of other species in check.

I once spoke to the coyote in the wild. I was staying in North Western Arizona away from home and family. In those lonely evenings I would interject myself into the conversations that the nearby desert "pack" was having. I would yelp and they would answer in response as to where to find me. There were several coyotes and we had a sort of code going back and forth. The circle of my friends would laugh. Each time a new person would come out to sit by the fire pit the others would say "Talk to him , Donetta" and over and over we held conversation. Every wherry soul laughed so hard that night that it is a treasure to remember. How much honor those Wild dogs gave so many of us that night.

Cool video
Wolf knowledge
Wild Dog Foundation Has some interesting things to read

I am Cherokee/Inuit Indian and I hold fast the my faith. I can still learn from the cultures of my ancestry. I thought this was sorta interesting. No I am not delving into the demonic here. Just interested in understanding why people believe what they do. We could all gain so much if we just tried harder to understand cultures and not blindly judge them. oops I'll get of the box :) I guess I am concerned of being thought poorly of.

WOLF ~ TEACHER (I found this here)Wolf is the symbol of the wild spirit and great sense of family. Its power ally is the moon, a place of the unconscious and intuition. Wolf medicine can impart knowledge and wisdom ....... allowing us to share these teachings to help humanity attain peace through the Language of Love.

Denise loves Dolphins

Dolphin ~~ Breath of Life

Manna is the life force...the essence, of Great
Spirit, so freely given. Our breath can release
emotions and help find solutions for ourselves
and others...often bringing joy and connecting
us to the Star Nation.

You guys are gunna be amazed at what just happened as I posted this..

The Daddy man and children just walked into the house from a bike ride.
Daddy man noticed the front door open and "Willy was missing"!
We all loaded up the boys in the truck and Dove and I took off in the car!
I growled and barked ( I have very little voice left from this bronchitis) out my query to every one on the streets! I went to the park where they had been riding...No Sightings!
Then I thought..." no"~ not Such and Such (the major artery 55-60 mpr traffic .
I headed that way to see the men coming down the street ...THEY HAD HIM!
Just at the moment I headed to the big road I prayed "NO God Please don't let him get hit!"
We all arrived back to the house and Willy ran into the house in a flash.

This is what happened .

The men came across the folks who told of a sighting of him on the major road. He was running up and down the outer wall to the community trying to get back home. Several people were stopped trying to guard him from the traffic. Beloved headed North and flipped the truck around. On the major and had Dash open the door and called the dog. The dog being used to getting in the tail gate came around the driver side trying to get in... just as a car braked with smoke from it's screaming tires filling the air.
Willy ran around the front of our truck and got in!
Unharmed!!!!
He got to have his little taste of the wild! Now he is back with the pack. Sleeping.
Cepical (sore throat spray) and a breathing treatment for me, and I just may have my voice back by tomorrow!
Side note...Mr Uncommon and I both had the thought of whether It was Gods hand of letting Will go. When I did my breathing treatment I stood corrected! He said "That is not my way, I love you and the children WAY to much to put you through that kind of hurt!"
I know that was God's voice and so does Mr Uncommon. He stands grateful to God for the life of our dog as well. Willy has been a challenge as most Chocolate labs are in their youth.
Upon being praised for his heroic efforts Dash deferred..."It was not me guys that was GOD!"

Home now

Oh my the house is being painted today.
We came home from the doctor and the house is all masked
They redid the back porch ceiling. A team of 5-6 folks one is a woman. They work fast and high quality job.

We had to leave it all open to them so I could get to the doctor.I got an order for a new anti biotic. The Z Pack is not working and the infection is bad. So a new medication will be picked up by Hubby in a few more minutes. I took some benadril too.
The steroids are kicked in and by the time I got to the doctor my chest was better (asthma wise). Of all days to be a cocoon of taped up widows, generators and Paint being sprayed all over the estate. :)
I am breathing a bit better. I had a breathing treatment at the doctors office that had two drugs in it to break up the mucus in my chest. I am shaking from the medications. They make you race. If only I felt well enough to use up all this energy :) The coughing fits have settled down a bit. Both of the patio doors are open to the outside as they are spraying the porch and the door frames. There are people just out side of my computer refuge (window). Speaking Spanish as the "r"'s roll and the energy these people are putting out is so impressive. What a great crew God has supplied for us.
I cant lay down and rest because the one door off our master bedroom is open to the fumes. So Here I sit in my little corner of the world. It is very loud here. all the generators and voice.
Thank you for your loving kindness. I am tired <>
I am so happy about my future. Today is wonderful too. I got the medications and help I needed. I can breath! :)
Your loving prayers, My husband is taking good care of us.
I lend my voice to these sounds of freedom...all these months of concern about how badly this estate needed to be painted. God gave us excellent painters who are going above and beyond at a good $$ rate.
It will be alright.
It will not be to far from now that I'll be on this adventure to financial freedom (selling the house). Beloved and I are so excited about doing some service work together again. To be able to help others is such a thrill and it is some of the best memories of our married lives.
It seems it always gets real hard like this just before major breakthroughs. So maybe its the steroids pumping but I am so excited about the future. The plans He has for us.
Oh my roller coaster... I just had to go outside to O.K. something for them...now I don't feel as well. Those paint fumes bit me...
God is still good and It will be alright!
Gotta rest.

Thank you for your prayers

I am so sick
Hubby stayed home
He took the kids to school
I have an appointment at 9:20, hubby will take me
Hubby is keeping good care of me
Asthma so very very bad
coughing so bad eyes and head throat hurt so terribly
Antibiotics don't seam to be working this time
steroids not working
allergies so very bad sneezing and sneezing
cant breath
Wow this one has hit me real hard.
God is good every day. Please...please pray with/ for me please It really hurts.

The (pretty ) Good report. on Dash

Home with news that is better than real bad. It is very Good news by and large.
They Got Dash right into the sound proof booth within moments (ahead of the vision appointment) . The New technicians was needing to run home to tend one child while her husband rescued another of her children sick from school. So she real fast, tested him both with and without aides. He has a progressive loss of high frequency sound in the left ear. The right ear was pretty much the same very very slight difference to the positive. This was addressed by retuning his aides (they are digital) . She plugged them into a computer while he had them on. Then she tuned them into a balanced range. Having to adjust booth aids to acquire balance. This could very possibly cause a vestibular disturbance. For the aids have to work in balance.
Then again it may have nothing to do with the problems.
On we went to the eye testing. The vision test was perfect! He was able to do a great job. Then came dilation with drops. I was so very fatigued that I just stepped aside and let the big sweet strong nurse hold him down. I almost just fell apart into tears not being able. I thanked the man for it. So we waited afterward.
While they were dropping (three types of drops into the eyes) him the eye doctor said that usually Ushers kids have night blindness as a first flag. "We leave the lights on for the kids in the bathroom and in the hall". I told her and they are never really out at night because we keep a tight bedtime ritual. So after a very long "for Dash" half an hour we went back into find those windows of his eyes showed the nerves in good standing and not a sign of concern! Ya ho!
They Doctor had stayed to see the outcome (we were the 2 1/2 hours) , she was so loving! Dash was not a happy camper at this point and was totally freaked out at having blurred vision. He wanted it to stop NOW!
Then the Doctor herself went to see when he was due to see the ENT next it is March 19th and told me to keep a diary of Dash's occurrences. We rescheduled to a 2:30 appointment for they had me set at a 7:30 appointment I would have to leave here at 5:30-6 a.m. to get there on time!
I will learn more about what else may be causing it. It is suggested by Dr Doolittle (yes that is her name and she is wonderful) That it may be the bones in the inner ear at any rate she suggests a vestibular problem.
I know God has Dash in His hands, but I would be a hypocrite and an arrogant woman to say that I was not stressed out and struggling with fear of "the worst", but as a friend pointed out to me. That total deafness and blindness would not be the worst thing to happen to Dash. The Worst thing would be to die without Christ in his heart. As true as this is I am A Mother an woman of clay. (she kindly apologized when she understood I just wanted an ear , a chance to ex hail a little before the visit) .
On the way to the clinic I had a bad coughing fit and had to Pull over and just cough it out. Poor Dash was frightened by it. I just felt so bad that it scared him.
I just had to pull over for several moments then I was able to drive on in.
The girls at the front were training a new girl and she was doing her best . Dash was impatient a bit. I told him that the woman was a student and the other woman her teacher. That she was just learning her lessons and it would really help her if you were patient so she could think peacefully. The woman looked up at me startled and thanked me.
So lets all remember how hard it is to learn new things and give each other mercy.
It is a new thing every time I have to face these things. Please offer me the mercy of patients as I vassalage between the faith and trust that I have and the overwhelming concerns that I as a mother might carry. We all need to offer that to each other mercy. Especially those parents of special need kids. It can be so very difficult for so many of you in your journey . I love you all, and understand even if only in small part how lonely a road it can be. Remember you are never alone and reach out there are so many loving folks here in the blog sphere.

Dear Anyanamus...
Dash is ALLERGIC to cow milk of any kind including cheese. Thank you however for the thoughtful suggestions.

Thanks everyone for your tender considerations, encouragements, and prayers.

I am grateful to all of you.

I did a breathing treatment at 5 pm and plan to just rest and take another treatment at 8 pm
Hay! LOST is on tonight!
tomorrow will be day three of antibiotics for the bronchitis and day two of steroids for the asthma. You know it will be a better day! :)

Thankful Thursday

"I love you please help me"...as I awoke.
A Morning Dove cooed outside my window.
"I love you"... was her reply

Outside my window she awakens the dawn
"I love you" she calls to me.
She does not fear the day nor does she toil after her need.
In joy she calls the song of a grateful heart.
Saying thank you for the seed.

"I love you" is called again
Within me cooed His simple words

MY sweet Son got and apointment

I called the St Joe's CRS clinic to talk with Dr Doolittle (yes that is her real name Dorthy Doolittle) She called back and left two messages that I missed while I was at my own doctor appointment.
Dash has a vision test tomorrow and also she will effort to get him a hearing test right after.
You see my sweet son is being monitored for a condition called Ushers syndrome. Daddy man and I really feel like crying and just hold it together.
Dash has expressed that his hearing aides are not working well now.The batteries are fine. He has also been having some visual anomalies that rise concern.
Dr Doolittle requested that I go talk to all of the players to see if they have witnessed any falling or clumsiness (to rule out the possibility of inner ear infection or equilibrium b Problems.
The teacher who opened her door to me to an empty room sat down with me and all but began to cry when I asked her about the concerns and such. I think this woman really loves my son so much. I tried to not cry and just took as deep a breath as I could. You see I had an asthma attack last night and started medication for bronchitis this morning. I am sick :(
So I did my best to declare that this child is alright he will be alright. No matter what he is alrihgt. We just really do not want the road ahead of us to be paved with Usher Syndrome. This syndrome causes gradual total blindness and deafness at adolescence. I do not speak this over my boy but because of the findings with the damage to his 8th cranial nerve it is a condition that has left him with two types of hearing loss. That can be an indicator of this condition.
We get him in tomorrow that will help ease the unknown a bit. We will be having to go through this throughout his youth. Like a gray cloud of ebb and flow. Without the DNA testing we would not know for sure. The DNA testing is a bad idea for several reasons I am not his biological mother so I am not concerned about future children of my womb (not that I have one anymore). The ability to be insured would, for my son in adulthood, be gone. He will be covered through this governmental grant until he is 21, but at that time he would no longer have the benefits.

Anyway I am with my children alone tonight. Sick and yet being held up by the love of my Fathers persistent supply and provision. I was able to get an appointment today for my asthma, and the re was a credit on my account :), I was able to get and appointment for Dash. The referral for a painter went very well. He is giving us the labor on the block wall for free, and he starts his team on the house tomorrow. then Friday they come and tape and mask and fix the porch roof and sand down the face boards. Saturday they paint and clean up. The team even will clean up the dog dung! They will clear off the porch and and replace everything as is. They will even fix the front door and varnish it. They will use Dun Edward paint and all of it enamel paint with an additive of a water proofing substance that is used on commercial grades. The house will be power washed tomorrow. We had very good reviews of this company by two friends. So I better rest, rest , rest tonight. I need to go do another breathing treatment.

Thank you for your concerns and support. I want to ask all of you to rejoyce with me for I know God is Godd all the time and His love and provision is awesome. As is his comfort.
Thank you.

Wordless Wedensday

Fishers of men.
A year ago my Sister sent me this turned wooden vial of fishing hooks. It once belonged to the Man I thought had been my birth dad. I may never really know. His name was Don. Well, this fishing vial was his, his hands touched it . I have very few things of my parents and this may just be the only thing I have of his. They are all dead now.
I have been finding mornings with Dash on my lap. I have taught him of hook and snags in life. To day we spoke of being fishers of men. This little vial has become a morning fascination to Dash. We have many conversations about the greater things.
I know it is not wordless , but I think that it is a treasure to share.

Tackle It Tuesday

I am so delighted to go to therapy for my neck. YA! Friday's appointment was canceled due to me just being over done and hoping to save up some of my medical benefits. I do not want to use it all up in the first two months of the year.My, my I am so looking forward to getting out of pain again.

Therapy was great. I stopped by the library and got a few books on staging a home to sell and on buying/selling.
Had a lovely visit with a little 16 month old child who walked right up to my and grabbed my finger and showed me a tree, bird. The mother who was on a cell phone closed her call and the three of us walked around and spoke of the parenting techniques that have help me so much. Sign language, giving a choice of 2 things within the parents parameter and so on it was sorta humbly invigorating to openly and easily share with this very teachable beautiful young woman. The child was very endearing too.

Maybe some if I feel a little better. I am having a hard time breathing .
I want to finished up the projects that are undone here so I can pack up the last of the beads. I did so well today once I remembered that I am doing this out of the power of choice not the consequences of error or ill fortune. We put the boxes out in the garage last night with all the others.
I finished up the living room. Putting two painting up that are natural made for a nice setting.

Perhaps I'll pack up the rest of the sewing desk. Fabrics are such a love affair. Patterns are like playing cards I can never have too many :) Of course that is not
true. These patterns will be sold or given.
For out in the garage is the collection of those patterns that were found in the dumpster. One time a long time ago I had visited a fabric store and found myself gazing at Patterns and happened to say..."God It would be so cool if..." Well... the if... is so, I have over a hundred new patterns. I have passed so many of them out and yet they are like blooming flowers always popping up. Well I have a filing cabinet to pack with all the jewelry business stuff.

In here I have my display boards

for the Gallery and also the

Packaging materials and gift boxes. I'll be all set up once I get life to that point:)

I have a lot invested here.

I have lacked the belief in myself to pull it through. I trust that one day that will change.

This Hayworth four drawer office filing cabinet was a gift of sorts when the old plant shut down, the sold stuff real cheep at auction. When I empty it I am going to consolidate all of the file in the other two cabinets. I think we may need to sell my sewing desk :( It is very large) I will use the file cabinet that has two drawers to hold my patterns from the desk.

This is the pink storage cabinet for the laundry soap and such. When my type of detergent and soap is greatly reduced I get several and store them Saves a lot of money.

Laundry has yet to even be touched. I think what is going to happen is that the favorites will all be in the wash and that will make it easier to shed some of the things in our closet.

I would like to change the linens on the big bed this week too.

I might try to tackle the garage a little?? By packing up things.

I desire though to get all the boxes up out of the hall floor.

Dishes and a nice meal aught to do it :)

Of course all of this must wait another day. I must rest.

I remembered who I am...

I saw myself doing this simple task. After washing the glass The China that I chose when we were married a few years has been placed alone in the hutch. This presented a beautiful image. The white of the dishes really made the walls look pretty.

I remembered who I am in the lyric...
"NO longer lend your strength to those things that you wish to be free from"
I apologize to all of you for my laps in focus. I began to focus on all I was letting go of and giving up. Please excuse me.
I am gaining a greater purpose
I am no longer gong to give my strength to the debt of this ownership of this home.
Once I awoke to this truth again...
I was then able to do what I saw myself doing next...

Before

Before

after

after

Nine boxes later...
My Beloved Husband reminded me also that he understands that this is a part of WHO I am and that there will be a place for my bead and jewelry making in the next house. I believe in this part of who I am so much so that I am going to give my strength to shutting this down temporarily while we move. I am also planning (for the first time in my life ) to follow my dreams of continuing my education in this field as soon as we settle and the funds become available.
I will be investigating lapidary and mettle working in the fall semester. I also will be receiving some tutelage in jeweling and beading techniques.
I will lend my strength to it.
As well as gardening:)

I danced today as I listened to the "life Uncommon" song. I felt so free to receive the beauty that is the choice to be free

“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV)

This is an excerpt from a devotional I was sent today. I thought it was so good I just had to share it.

Speaking of a book the author had read she said "In its pages, Vanauken shared one of the key elements of his and Davy’s profound love."...

“Look,” we said, “what is it that draws two people into closeness and love? Of course, there’s the mystery of physical attraction; but beyond that, it’s the things they share. We both love strawberries and ships and collies and poems and all beauty, and all those things bind us together. Those sharings just happened to be; but what we must do now is share everything. If one of us likes anything, there must be something to like in it – and the other one must find it – every single thing that either of us likes. That way, we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together. Then we shall be so close that it would be impossible - unthinkable – for either of us to suppose that we could ever recreate such closeness with anyone else. And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty, but on the fact of a thousand sharings – a thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable.” (Sheldon Vanauken, A Severe Mercy (New York: Bantam Books, 1977), 27)

Vanauken beautifully described the unbreakable bond that exists between intimate lovers and friends. In another book, he warned of creeping separateness that can threaten that oneness.

There is such a thing as creeping separateness. What do young people who are freshly married do? They can’t rest when they’re apart. They want to be together all the time. But they develop separate interests, especially if they have separate jobs and some separate friends. So, they drift apart. Soon, they have little in common except, maybe, the children. The stage is then set for one of them to fall in love with someone else. Later they’ll say the reason for the divorce was that he/she fell in love with someone else, but it wasn’t that at all. It was because they let themselves grow apart. ( Sheldon Vanauken, quoted in 601 Quotes About Marriage and Family, Compiled by William and Nancie Carmichael (Wheaton, Ill: Tyndale, 1998) 80).

I think this is just wonderful advice. We have fallen into this habit. I think I want to focus on it a bit more in my own marriage and friendships with my children.

I had a wonderful time this morning with Dash as he read a book on Jellyfish to me and we explored Google for images of jellyfish. It was very tender.