Saturday...An Explosive Day
I had a very explosive start to my day yesterday. I have been working hard on all the tasks at hand and my family was undermining me at every turn (at least that was how it felt). With an ear infection and a chest cold I was just undone. I called them together to try to tell them how I felt and it did not go so well. I went and took a shower and just cussed out the walls then dressed and just left for a while. In the car one of the things that pulled up out of me was that "no one was taking care of ME"!
Well that means I need to take care of me. It is my job. I am bad about that. I tend to neglect myself and then get mad at others over it. Pretty immature I know , but non the less I was exhausted and neglected. So I took off and went to a drug store and walked around and just defused. While I was there some poignant music played and a silly toy spoke to me...twice. I just needed to step away and stop.
When I came home the family was overjoyed and excited to see me, but I was kept in the garage for they were wrapping my present.
Soon after as I went into my (quiet...ear pain) closet to tend to laundry in a quiet place, Beloved took to task to clean Dash Hawks room. In so doing he decided to toss Dash's volcano, but it had yet to be exploded (I defended it)
So he gave them a choice of boring vinegar and soda or "BLACK POWDER" , did I ever tell you about Beloveds' child like nature ...He loves a thrill. Well I was taking the pictures as he requested and I said will it be loud. Now mind you I HAVE A BLAZING EAR INFECTION THAT HURTS!
"Oh no It wont be very loud" He said...can you say don't listen to him! Well after that thing went off I would not have been able to hear you say it! It was amazing! It shook the house and I was wreathing in pain!
Of course I had to spend the next several moments with hot wash clothes and Tylenol. Non the less the kids had a ball that was COOL!
What a great explosion.
As will every eruption the calm follows and when I saw this
Well needless to say...
I felt heard, helped and a lot less overwhelmed!
We bantered and fused and came around to the love of a man and wife that have overcome greater obstacles. We both feel the need to be heard more and listened too better.
Funny how God id setting up next month to do NO OVERTIME!
We are both so exhausted.
Beloved said that his body hurt from the hard work of cleaning that bedroom...HEHEHE
I am understood too! Ha!
Yes it is real hard work and he feels it (as do I when I do it).
Of course I had to walk away as he tossed out things and just was so "UN-emotional" about the stuff, not like me.
With that burdon off of me I was able to follow my heart and do some baking. This is for neighbores, and other fast gifts that I might need. I had a neighbor come and give us a sweet gift of homemade soap (that I love!) and a tin of popped corn for the kids. I felt so embarrassed when I did not have my gifts ready to offer to her. Beloved said "It is easier when your not a full time mom to give thoughtful gifts" ...It is hard. I was married 16 years before we adopted Dove, now my time is so consumed (wonderfully so) and it is different to say the least. I have to let go of alot of things to be a full time Mom and homemaker. I have gained so many more of course. Chang is challenging for any of us.
The cookies made felt encouraging to me. I even made a batch with millet flour so I can have one or two.
We burned the midnight oils, I deligated wrapping to him and let go of the outcome. He helped while I sewed on the monkeys and Doves housed. I decided to give Dash his quilt untied. But when I tried to let him wrap the monkeys without their ears sewed on I just lost all composure and just started to cry. I want so much to give my children a great Christmas. I just fell apart. I have been holding onto way too much stress over the responsibility of creating a great Christmas nad a managed house, budget, store house and family health that i was over done.
It was good to let it out.
Beloved is working on this today...
I am staying away sitting here and just having my cup of tea.
Saturday was an explosive day.
This is a new day
2 comments:
Donetta,
Your home looks beautiful. Dove's room looks so "lived in." I had a daughter whose room looked even worse that this. I finally gave up and just closed the door. Once she realized I was NOT going to clean it, she became more organized. Of course she was heading into her teens and older than your girls.
Merry Christmas. I too have been suffering with an ear infection, so I know exactly how you are feeling. My house is no where near ready for Christmas and since we are leaving for Florida on the 27th, I'm not really worrying much about it. I've just been feeling too horrible to care.
Hope you are feeling better. Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting on my story.
Blessings,
Mary
Donetta i sympathize with you. I also need someone to "look after me" once in awhile. but no chance here.I 've been pretty stressed out lately.My Mom is pretty demanding. She wants everything done instantly and to perfection. i just have to say No at times.We get into an arguments but what can i do.I feel unwell at times and dizzy. i just have to take a Valium.
Happy you had time out. i go out too... to the malls. Nice cookies you have there.
Glad Daddyman helped you. If i was near you i would have given you a hand.
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