I just got home from the city ...

Wow it's 4:30
sooo I just got asked how I am today?

Well...
What to high light?
The exit from home was at the clocks limit. I was tying the knots on the chawawa lanyard. It was a special order challenge from two weeks ago. Blew her away. She bought it on the spot for 18. Good thing too the tank is on "E" as we pulled into the garage this the 4th day in a row of 20+ mile treks for Doc. apt.'s

I called Dashes therapist aside I had to address the Monday previous . I told her that as a professional she is doing a terrific job but had she even a clue as to what it takes to do my role . I explained the esteem issues that I am dealing with with Dash. This is my son who is wounded by the battles he has to face. I had to open her eyes to his heart. She asked if I felt that he was emotionally ready for therapy. We must help prepare him for school. If he can not be understood he will be a target and have greater wounds to his ego. I told her that he feels like dung (pg blog) about himself already knowing he has amplifiers and will be the only kid with hearing aides in the fall. He is fully aware that he sounds different. He has tried his best for you and finds it so difficult to hold the techniques during conversation. I shared how our loving correction just wedges away at his already weekending esteem. I told her how Dove is back in O.T. she is regressive and so is Dash. These kids are dealing with the panic disorder from the sensory dysfunction disorder stuff as well. I am getting to the wall with stress. I told her that when she said" that your getting away with to much to Dash " I took it personally, that because I had not gotten myself the hearing aides and could not delineate his speech I felt it was my fault.
I told her that Dash is a helper. When she threatened him with surgery if we can not get this worked out in three weeks he felt terrified.. to that she said "that I wanted to get through to him and thought a little fear might do it"....(A little rage here on my part as I breathed ) I said " it is my boundary that you NOT use fear to get through to my child. I expressed my appreciation for her professional expertise however I am the child's parent and I too have expertise here, and have found that FEAR is not a good motivator. I explained to her that this child is a helper. Ask him to help you too help him.
If he feels engaged he will give too you the help you request.
She needs delineation between,
"Dash you need to help your self speak well" He know he needs too he feel ill equipt -v- "Dash help "me" to help you". = I love to be helping.
I told her how I am an independent person receiving federal assistance with Dash and I take it a great responsibility too do everything I can to benefit his best prognosis. She spoke of me being one of her best parents never missing an appointment an that she did not intend to leave with a thought that I was not pushing him hard enough.

He worked great for her after she engaged this technique today.
The scope will be ordered. She called me aside after her generous extended session and told me that the center offers counseling for me or Dash, That they offer three free sessions but it has to be tied too the (Dash) medical condition. She suggested some 'teasing' counseling and then that I might like some , I felt slightly miffed after I walked away. You know lets let her try doing what I'm doing. What you think how would she last! :)
I suppose I might benefit but I was not in a good place to receive the suggestion.

My head is down to a 4 out of a scale of 1-10. I am tired. I just found out for sure that I need to prep my sweet Dash about the scope, also we have Doves panic to consider.
I need to rearrange the bedrooms before school. They have been sharing a room for some time and they are both ready now for some independence. Sounds EASY don't it ... A ha don't be fooled! It can be nights of panic for Dove as can be anything out of the normal constant of life.

We drove home to the roar of childhood untill Monster Mom called for silence the umpteenth time with a bit of verbal force.
OH ARG
What gets me was she was so relieved that I had a few verbal explitives she said" I am so glad to hear it, I could not get over how patient you are with the kids so soft spoken and all. Well that, I told her is my role to equip them with the most productive peaceful time before he walks into your door. I have to be calm to help him and you succeed. I told her she had no idea what I go through to prep them.
They will put a camera scope up Dash's nose to see if when he speaks his anatomy is functioning. Well its about bloody time!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course as in my dignified role I simply concurred.

So how am I , I am Woman who roars, saddened at the needs of my kids, delighted that the scope will at least tell if this is something He can or can not help , with just therapy.
My head is so-so. My laundry is very high as is the task list at hand and my energy is low.
I feel good about how I handled it today. Glad the lady purchase the lanyard. Hoping that I remember to get gas before I get on the road at 8 a.m. tomorrow. But I don't think thats what you really meant.. is it? I am appreciative of you thoughtful care of me, us. hugs!
5:15 I better pull it up and cook supper :)
Supper, funny, all things freezer, Dad had tamales with cheese and tater tots, Dove sliced hot dogs and tater tots, Dash and I had pot stickers and tater tots. Can you say yuk with a full tummy.