Care for the living

I E P
The report was very good news . She has improved significantly from the two years ago in most areas. There are still 2 areas that she fell significantly below so she will have a 502? set in place next week is the meeting to set it up. This will give her special considerations. She is a great kid.
I went very well.
I said to the women...My sister died yesterday. They were all starteled. I told them that this day I choose to live for the living and to care for the living. There will be a time for everything under the heavens. Today. I care for the living. Focused only on that.
lunches
Dove had a field trip to the park. So this morning I'm let in on it that she needs a packed lunch! Well I knew I would just have to get it to her later . So I went to the grocery and got them each a bag with a sub sandwich, a drink and some chips in it
and took it back to the school. There was some mix up that Dash was told he would eat in the cafeteria he took his bag over to Doves room. Dove had TWO lunch's! She ate them~
So when Dash got home it was a real hurt to find out what happened to him.
I gave him first choice at the doughnuts I got for them.

grocery's
When I got the lunches I noticed that the meat was only 1.77 lb. I am out of it. I had prayed about that task and how the meat was gone in my freezer. Well I asked the butcher if he could clean up a few large roasts for me when I came back shortly for them I found out he had cleaned the 5.99 lb in a misunderstanding. I told the other butcher no thank you on the 5.99 and asked if he would again get me the largest roast back there. He could not understand that I did not want to buy the cut london broil, that I wanted as few a cow in my meat as possible. He asked again...so what is it that you are afraid off? That erked me abit, I replyed that is just my boundry thank you. "boundry?" he said what does theat mean...should I have explained:)

Later he came to me while I was shopping in the produce and offered me the three cut roasts for that was a misunderstanding on their part and asked if I might receive them. Of course I said. I then told him of how his tone changed and said MAM JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS THAT YOU WANT....now I had clearly told him...So I then explained again that it is a commitment that I make to my family to grind from as few a head represented per pound as possible. I said that perhaps I thought I had lost his respect in his tone of MAM>>> he said well miss sometimes offend totally bipassing the point.

any way....I have meat to grind. 30 something pound at !.77 per pound. Best deal I have had in a long while.

after he walked away some onions fell of a shelf and I started laughed at them. A woman looked up and I said they are jumping of the shelf saying "buy me". She laughed and it made me laugh and it felt real good.
I told her it felt really good to laugh. I said "my sister died yesterday and I really needed that laugh."
I told her that My act of worship today was to care for the living.

lemons
On Creig's list I saw that a fellow was asking if anyone wanted Lemons...yes they look like oranges. They are a hybrid of orange but oh they are lemon! Tart and wonderful. When I got there there were thee other women who had just about stripped the tree. The fellow said that there were plenty on the other side of the wall. It was a vacant house. So I went out to drive around. A car pulled up with two ladies in it and I told them their were not any more and omitted the fact there were in the other yard. Tacky of me a show of poor Character on my part. So in an amends I gave several over to them as I picked. Peace was made. It was true that there were no more on that side but there were possibly more on the other side of the wall. Selfish I know.
I have a greater appriciation for the crown of thorns. This tree had 2-3 inch ones and my arms testify of it.
I worked hard a good hour or so and came home with a good supply for the summer. They will need to be juiced and frozen up. My arms are so scratched up. I did have gloves though.

more grocery's
On the way home I stopped at the Trader Joe's to get the non dairy items we need. Got yogurt and the soy ice cream, eggs and a wonderful stalk of Brussel sprouts. Pulled in and unloaded all but the lemons. Left them here for Steve to lift in. At the store lemons were .39 cents each...think of it. Understand why I went to work for them?
There was a woman behind me in line. My time was tight to get to the house before the kids but I thought I would have enough to let her go ahead, she had a dog just from the vet who had terminal issues. I let her go ahead and gave her empathy of her pup. She said "oh that is just the least of it too. If you only knew?"
It was sereal, I looked at her peacefully and said "my sister died yesterday"...
She said "Oh sweet heart and instantly embraced me and held me. I wanted to melt a bit and stood my ground and rested there in that still of the peace. Thanked her and asked of her dogs name and hers. Told her I would pray for her. She asked mine and said the same.


kids home
Well Dash was all upset, he found out on the bus that Dove cheated him the lunch. He was upset. She tried to make amends to him but it took a while.

Fell asleep hard on the sofa
Dash came and sat by me to watch stupid TV and I just leaned over and fell out hard asleep for an hour or so. Real asleep like nothing could of shook me. I dryg myself awake to make a salad as per the kids request. A million song lyrics flowed little parts and pieces as if a medley of words flooding into the expression of the depths of my soul. It was very cathartic. Odd tunds from all areas. Many years and hymns too. Strange how it was as if I just listened and found a strange humor in those words lost so long ago in the ebbs and cracks of my mind.
Steve walked in just then and we all enjoyed each other and the air was light hearten.
made a big salad we all watched home edition


SILove came, her father just recently passed. She came! Wow how very loving she and Steve's Brother came to give me kindness. A beautiful vase of roses WHITE CHRYSANTHEMUMS and lilies with one sweet red rose in the center. A very loving card as well.
I then felt that loved cry within me. We all went back in after they left and it hurt in my heart cause I was loved. THat old healing thing that happens when I am loved. Dove kept asking if I was alright. She reached over to hold my hand and I just said my heart hurts. Dash had asked why? I told him because my sister died.
He said "so"? Whats the big deal? I gave him an example of how if his sister would never be seen again what he might feel like, I think he got it.

White Roses = purity of spirit
White Chrysanthemums (again) = truth
Red roses = love
Lilies= ? He is the lily of the Valley, He is the bright and morning sun

So here I sat while they played on the computer way too late for a tired kid. Dash got on his Daddys last nerve. I interviened and said wow it is so late, they must be so tired. What a big day.
Oh guys that orphanage dance drives me CRAZY!!!!!!!!! So Dash just pushes and pushes trying to plead a case where NO was NO. Would not STOP. He believes NO one has the right to tell him what to do.
OH well it will happen all his adult life that he will have to do things he does not want too and that he will not be able to get to do things he wants too. So to that he would not STOP still.
In the orphanage he learned to do this dance where he got what he needed or wanted by raising a holy stink till he was heard. Unfortunaly by that time they would lose it with him.
I Lost it with him tonight I just lost it. Blew it. Oh I just hate it that I am the adult and I LOST it.
It is so hard, he was too tired and would not let no be no. An injustice was had and come hell or high water he would just not drop it and stop arguing that case teil I lost me temper.
Steve appoligized for ignoring and for not stopping the gaming before they got so tired.
Oh I know I have to give myself A break. Unfortunatly the break is in the cord.
So I will have cords to mend in the morning.