A Life Uncommon: I am here

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I am here

There is no hiding place down here.

The last of the final corners of solitude and deepest denial now has been taken away. All I knew really did happen and there is no escaping the truth of it for me. I wept.
There is so much gratitude that I am not to decline yes.
There is so much truth to the effects of what I have known though that I stand stunned. Grieved at all that I could of been , brilliant she said. Yet I am still in this capacity as mother and wife, friend and confidant. I am alright it is just those tattered scraps. I wanted a pretty gown. One day I will have robes, flowing and beautiful robes for these tattered rags I am left with. Yet I see the beauty in these old rags. I just get so fatigued of mending them over and over.

I can hide the realities from myself no more. No more doubts that some how it could not of really happened. My own body will scream it if I do not listen. Truth will permiate every corner. Even those so painful to see.
I suppose I could say I am sorry , but I have done nothing wrong.
I heard it that it is in suffering when you have done nothing wrong that true character shines.

I wept.

4 comments:

Denise said...: I am very sorry for all you have been through dear one, but so proud of the way you shine. I love you.; February 24, 2009 at 11:35 AM
Denise said...: Joy comes in the morning. Remember that HE keeps every tear.... HE does not repair our hearts, HE makes them new........ No patching, or repair.. Makes new...... HE has begun something in you and HE will continue to bring you to total renewal. Total healing....... Then eternity to experience joy and only joy..; February 24, 2009 at 5:34 PM
~Bren~ said...: You are clothed in robes of HIS righteousness even now. Those tattered rags were replaced the day you turned to HIM and HE put His glory on you. I see it shining even from here.; February 25, 2009 at 5:37 AM
Corey~living and loving said...: much love to you Donetta. I'm thinking of you and sending tons of healing thoughts your way.; February 26, 2009 at 10:53 AM

By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
Return with Honor
The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
"HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
“Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
"O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
"No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"