Sunday, November 30, 2008

Marriage Monday "The Sanctuary of Christian Marriage."

"The Sanctuary of Christian Marriage."

If it were for a man and a woman alone to succeed in the art of marriage one would consider it an impossibility. Life with it's endless challenges and countless battles.
An impossibility it was...Before I first knew marriage, alone, on my own I was a drifter. Often sharing dwellings with the unknown.


Those who were behind the masks of pretense. They were striving for a gain regardless of the lack of honor. Then it was, that survival was the breath known to days given to count.

A wondering bag of bones, wanting for meat to cover my wretched self.
Alone. Alone we come into this world. It is for many, alone they leave it. In marriage many live alone. Walking into a building with the souls of the unknown. Those who have spent years avoiding the glance of the other. Fears of intimacy and lives of toil. Every morning awake to provide, to retreat into the numbing addictions that remove that utter loneliness. Yet it is never far from the heart beat, that awareness of being alone. That was how it was for me, for my first 20 years of life. Mother , step father , brother or sister ...alone, empty vessels hiding in isolation.
I watched each member marry as I was the last. Alone they grew in there unions. Aligned to some cause that would expire when the waging war of days descending upon them. To a few, religion came to the "seaming" rescue, yet alas only time reveled in those powerless unions, that indeed, each player was yet, left ....alone. Some met that loneliness head on trying to accomplish on their own, the duel roles of parent to children , who were then left ...alone. Alone in childcare to languish, and survive with strangers. Who cared for the body, and ignored the soul. Spirits languished in educations based in that very empty existence.
As I watched the unions dissolve, those that remained, were tied by fears of being "alone", nothing more. Lives shipwrecked into believing nothing is going to last until they have forgotten there was anything left to fight for. No center place where all could meet and join. No place left sacred, all a loss. An empty chamber where sleep, though they might, they could never find a rest. A lifeless garden, soil turned, and planted for only every crop to fail.

This is how it is for the many , yet there are the few...
Few are they who have known first... what it is to team with an army together in purpose. Conquest is a given, for to disband... would never be an option.

My first union was with my maker, he who gave me life and saved me. It was first "within him", that I met the union. What it meant to dwell there, within that holy of holies. A place so sacred that not even the righteous could stand. I fell on my face before him.
I became a bride.
marry into a union of purpose a cause for the right and what is good. Removing a garment of rags soiled by my own sweat and toil. Rags ripped and shredded by those who tore at me. It was then, the first time I wore a wedding vessel. One fit for the finest of wines. I poured me out then. Filled with new wine was then that the fermentation began.

Within His cavern my wine vat rested while that new wine of youth aged, and gained flavor.
For me that cavern was needful of a keeper.
One who could
be trusted with such a harvested woman.
A woman, the woman , I.

It was then that I wed my earthen husband. We together entered into that holy of holies.
A sanctuary of union.
A common purpose.
A single mind.
I did not pour me out empty, as to become subjective to another, never!
I aged with him.

We aged together.
For he too was a
vessel of new wine in that very same cavern, but with a task.
He given the task of wines keeper, his own, and mine.
We entered into a covenant,
not just a "paper signed", as so many have called it.
No, a
covenant, where I laid me down, as he did his own.
He gave all that he knew within him, learning more over time.

Like any fine wine the fruit must first be crushed.
Crushed it was, before hand, and even after. Life is a crushing vat draining out of us every drop. We both entered into it emptied and then refilled.

Yet many a marriage will start amiss.
Pour out in time, of life's great battles,and then
together empty, they think that they will join to succeed.
This is not so, nor ever could it be .
For of their own with every good
intention there is nothing left, and time has thrown them to the curb.
A union of those who are renewed in spirit and mind. A process will endure over time, and all that it will hand them.
Hand them it will, battles, and sorrows, and joys as well. Triumphs through suffering will be the course of those units, who held the banner high for each other, and for those that they are given charge of.
As rank in creases, as in military terms...understanding increases . Knowledge is gained, and the Generals and Admirals stand out as the leaders. Holding together a great stand.
So it is in the union of one woman and one man.
Holy , preserved in battle...they have the power to keep that stand.
Holding fast all ground gained, even if some have perished around them.
together, only will look out to see so many have fallen around them.
This is a great sorrow for divided a house will not stand.
Unity of purpose and the banner held up for each other to fix our gaze upon.
This is the
sanctuary in the midst of the storm.
A unity under one common banner of Christ holding them in, and evil without.
In the cavern is vintage, a wine of great worth.
This is what they offer each other .


Many years hince they pour out the vessel and taste of great efforts won over time.
This in the Holy of Holies, we toast one another for all it was worth.
A union joined within Him, the most honorable cause.
by Donetta

Sanctuary \Sanc"tu*a*ry\, n.; pl. Sanctuaries. [OE. seintuarie, OF. saintuaire, F. sanctuaire, fr. L. sanctuarium, from sanctus sacred, holy. See Saint.]

A sacred place; a consecrated spot; a holy and inviolable site. Hence, specifically:
(a) The most retired part of the temple at Jerusalem, called the Holy of Holies, in which was kept the ark of the covenant, and into which no person was permitted to enter except the high priest, and he only once a year, to intercede for the people; also, the most sacred part of the tabernacle; also, the temple at Jerusalem.
(b) (Arch.) The most sacred part of any religious building, esp. that part of a Christian church in which the altar is placed.
(c) A house consecrated to the worship of God; a place where divine service is performed; a church, temple, or other place of worship. (d) A sacred and inviolable asylum; a place of refuge and protection; shelter; refuge; protection.

A House (home) divided against itself can not stand.
  • base: the place where you are stationed and from which missions start and end
  • place where something began and flourished

Dear Sister,
Andrea at Embracing Him will be our guest hostess for Marriage Monday tomorrow. (December 1, 2008.) Thanks Andrea! She will host the topic, "The Sanctuary of Christian Marriage." So, sharpen your pencil and teach us what you know!
Be sure to stop by Andrea's blog and leave your permalink in her Mister Linky. Afterward, take some time to visit as the other contributors.
See you tomorrow!
e-Mom @ Chrysalis


Denise said...

This is really beautiful.

e-Mom said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. Your marriage truly sounds like a place of sanctuary for the two of you.

And thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Donetta.

Blessings, e-Mom

MiPa said...

Donetta, your writing is awe-inspiring. This is but one amazing example of something that you have written that has touched me in a word-defying, emoion-laden manner. Bless you and thank you for sharing.

Andrea said...

So many great points....

Your point about having a union with God first really stuck with me. Only when we have a right relationship with God can we enjoy prosperous relationships with others.

When we have a pleasing union with God, we don't have to worry about being "tied by fears of being "alone".

A fantastic post!

Lynn said...


This post about marriage is amazing and filled with so much I could read it for months and take stuff away from it. Thank you...

You honor our Bridge Groom... Love you.

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

Blog Archive

By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

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