Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Please pray

Hay guys...I am struggling . Please pray for me. The flash backs are at my back door. Today the family was watching Family Feud (a tv show) and the question was what scary pizza toppings could be used on a Halloween pizza.? The answer was fingers.
I lost it....
I turned it off abruptly startling the kids. Oh I felt bad to do that to them.
I just went to the sewing machine and wept. Dash came up to embrace me. I do not cry well at least not normally. I am learning how to, but it is a challenge to keep the kids knowing Moms alright just sad. My weeping is like three seconds long at most if you know what I mean but they knew I was upset.
I feel sickened to my soul. I keep seeing flashes of the murder that Halloween night. It is so upsetting. Enough said.
Please pray for me I feel so alone and strange and isolated in my experience at their hand. Lord if I only were, but I know there are many others out there like me. Several of them dead now at their own hand. That is sad too. I miss my friends that did not make it through recovery..
I know what is going to happen to a little kid this week and it is killing me. I was that little kid.
God why are folks so dumb! Why so dark as if to just desensitize.
I am very sad for what I have known, and for who it happened to, even if it was so many years ago.
A friend offered to take my kids trick or treating , kind of her, but I do not want them to do it at all, and not without both my husband and I , but I don't know if I even can do it. I can not stay home alone while he goes with them. Only a few houses of people I know here on my street. I just do not know if I can. I told them that too.
So I spin my needle and thread to create joy and beauty for them and feel like a cloud of fog descends upon me.
I am just faking it as if I will make it through.
Please hold me in your prayers this week I am struggling.
I go to work with the children tomorrow nad then out again on Thrusday for art training. I really do not like being out in public this week of the year. So many many images to remind me of al I have known.
I am not depressed just struggling.

5 comments:

Denise said...

Sweetie, I am holding you in my prayers. I love you.

Michelle Gregory said...

dear one,
i always think about you this time of year. of course we will pray. i don't like what goes on at all.

the curtains are lovely. so glad you get to start over and make the house what you really want it to be.

dove's dress was sweet. i can't believe how fast she is growing up. looking forward to seeing her on saturday.

michelle

La Tea Dah said...

God bless you. My heart goes out to you --- and my prayers are with you.

My vote is that the kids don't go out 'trick or treating'. My kids never did, and grew up without feeling deprived. Don't fret about going against the stream --- do what your heart tells you.

Hugs to you!
LaTeaDah

~Bren~ said...

Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!! You are not alone...HE is with you as He was then, protecting you with the ability to remove yourself from your body. Mercy....Grace...abundant peace, that passes all understanding is yours. That sweet girl you see in your mind, that lost her life that night is in the Throne Room of Heaven. Satan or his cohorts did not win that girl's soul. She is singing praises with the angels in heaven, touching the face of God Himself. Oh, to be where she is....they did not win.

Amrita said...

May the Lord protect you and keep your heart in His perfect peace.Remember you are a new creation in Christ

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

Blog Archive

By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • "HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"
To The Ends Of The Earth
Sisters by Heart

Click here for all crafts

e patterns My sister told me of this site

Please pray for her parents and family

Please pray for her parents and family
Amy has clicked her heals and flown to her real home. There is no place like home.




This was given to me for the third time in just a few weeks.

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
"For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."

Thank You Ross

Getting to know Me

What warm hearts you all offer

Thank you all for the kindness you have shown me with every Award. I am embraced. You Are a blessing.

Thank you Michelle

Thank you Michelle








































Thank you Annette they are beautiful
Thank You Annette
neno award from Kat


Autism Awareness