Tails from the scales Weel #11
Time to admit (on the blog) an eating disorder. I have struggled all of my life with being able to manage my feelings in a healthy way. Food is a pacifier and a punisher for me. When I want to be nice to my self I have a "treat". When I am angry with myself I binge (eat stuff that will make me feel bad). When I am hurt I treat myself to make myself "feel better"Food for me is a feelings barometer. My meal plan....well I am not worth the hassle (although I know I need to be) . See a pattern here? I do.
I have been over extended and also neglectful of not only my meal plan for weight loss but I am ignoring my hands care as well. I just have too many things to attend to and in my habitual way "Taking care of me (my body) is just a hassle". Same with my knee (terror here) I do not want a knee replacement. I am over tired too.
I do not want to check my weight because I see "failed" on the scale. It is depressive. I know what I need to do. I do the things I do not want to do and do not do those things I do want to do.
I got up at 4:30 with Dash and am tired so NAP TIME for mom. It is 8:30 now, and I just dropped the kids off at school.
Maybe someone can relate. Real and honest.
~d
12:30
AFTER A THREE HOUR NAP, AND AN HOUR OF WAISTED TV TIME I FELT BACK TO FOCUS.
I DID WEIGH AND GAINED 1 POUND. IT WAS NOT AS MUCH AS I HAD EXPECTED. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KINDNESS. NOW I NEED TO GET TO WORK. GOT TO GO GET DOG FOOD, AND START THE CHORES. CHRISTMAS CARDS MUST GET DONE SO I HAVE THE TABLE. I TEACH TONIGHT (SEWING LESSON).
8 comments:
You are definitely not alone. Food is my band-aid and my reward which makes it really tough. I also don't like to take the time to do the healthy things I need to. I always rationalize by saying that there are so many other "important" things that need to be done.
You CAN do this. One step at a time, and we'll be here to pick you up if you fall.
Oh Donetta! I can TOTALLY relate! I have always said that I am a mood eater and it doesn't matter what my mood is. I eat! If you aren't up to waying this week, then don't! But don't punish yourself for not doing it, please!
((Hugs)) my friend!
oops that was supposed to be weighing not waying! LOL
I snack while relaxing or reading. its not good. I make my own snacks, they are healthier.
Hi. Donetta, if you want to loose weight, be healthy, and feed your family with right food - check these books out "Eat fat loose fat" (especially first one)
& "Nourishing traditions"
Read the reviews, what people have to say. Try these books at your local library. See for your self.
As for me I give those books second place after my Bible. I eat right, I loose unhealthy fat, I do not have cravings for sweets or between meals, I'm satisfied, my body well nourished, I am in good mood.
http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Fat-Lose-Delicious-Science-based/dp/1594630054t
We will always be here with support and encouragement. You ARE worth taking care of. And I know you can overcome those things that sabotage you. Sending hugs and prayers from Colorado. (Knocking off some snow, first!) :-D
Path to Health
Donetta, hang in their with your journey to find your right weight. I'm on one right now myself and it's not an easy road. Take it day by day and when you have a week of not following your plan, just start over again. When I get discouraged and want to give up, my husband says "well, what is your alternative?". Hmmm, I hate the alternative and that response always gets me back on track. Remember that nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Fitting into clothing properly or buying a smaller size (well, in my case, going to my closet and finding the smaller size) makes all the hard work worth it. Don't deprive yourself --- but remember temperance in all things. I keep a bar of 85% chocolate in my dresser drawer and allow myself two squares a day. . .and so far the scales are on a downward trend. The holidays are especially difficult. . .so if I can make it through them by simply not gaining, I will be most thankful. Success to you! You can do it! You have lots of company with the food/emotions issue!!!
Hugs!
LaTeaDah
Do not be so hard on yourself sis, you can do this. No one is perfect, we all fall down sometimes. But, God will lift you back up. I love you.
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