eight hour

waking this morning and hinting the call button I was not sure if it was time for pain meds or not. my leg felt calm (at least until I walked on it). I sat back in bet and just wondered. at the lack of pain. Perhaps the time was not elapsed. Moving my leg still left me slightly puzzled.
So I got up and used the little four wheeled walker to get to the commode. all most there the nurse came in. Startling her I turned around to set back at the bed to take morning medication. A ritual of the day in and day out. She exclaimed how stunned and amazed she was at how well I did. Still unaware why she exclaimed 'you went 8 hours!' I skipped a whole pain medication dose and just slept through it. Walking back to the commode and sitting a few moments in a chair I now feel it. however only mild to moderate pain. This is a huge mile stone.

Yesterday while sitting in the dining room the whole place really just got to me. behind me were stroke, and hand fed elders. Before me table after table of elders that stare at me all lunch long. I smile and wave and try every day to liven up the room. Yesterday it all just got to much, Day after day the constant piano that plays cd's it plays the same songs every meal. I am worn. we who at house sit together and now all those facing three times a day staring at me. utterly tortured of loneliness. I just could not take anymore. I wheeled out like a mad man sanity slight. No one seems to understand it. Oh I am so worn of it. How terribly must the be. My pain medication is kicking in and every sentence is met with me dozing off before the punctuation is met. I gotta stop.