Dash's Apointment at CRS

He again had a hearing test (it was unexpected), then we were to await the ENT (ear/nose/throat doctor.
I explained the anomalies and events of late with Dash...
The Doctor said..."That could be Ushers"...I felt like I was going to puke. Every event of CRS is no were alright but this time it was not. The Doctor asked if dash was born near Chernoble. I have no idea. I do not think so. I told him they said last week that they think not because his eyes are perfect and he said..."well something is wrong because it is not normal nor is it alright for him to be having these problems." He ordered a "Balance Test" to be done, and to come back in three MONTHS! No ear infections or fluid in the middle ear.

The blessed JUNK machines. This is the goal of the day for mom to say yes. A woman on the hospital staff (that had purchased one of my lanyards) said hello and ask how I was. I said "that I could use a hug". She said oh well I can offer that. She embraced me and I began to speak the truth God is God, Dash is his... I trust God.
God will be strong for me.
marbles tossed in my path...just marbles to make me slip and slide and obstruct my sure footing. I just got home from a long day.
I want to hug my pillow and hide under my blankets.
I ate my left over Chinese food. Sit here and have my children near me.
The flight fight is kicking in, yet...I don't have to be angry ...I don't have to run away from it .
Walk... face this life I am living and move one foot in front of the other..Dig my toes in the sand and hold on! Kick the marbles out of my path and remember that God is God and I am not.
Dash will have the testing done.
God is God.

Wordless Wedensday

"Three peas in a pod" is hosting

Tackle It Tuesday

Today was a strange day.
I awoke at 6 a.m. and did lunch for The Mr. then went back to bed. With the TV in the far room I slept through the morning until 9:30Rested!
The children had eaten and I got the pick nick ready for our 10 am park play date. When we arrived we had our chips and mayonnaise from a quick stop at the store, but after 40 minutes we decided to go back to the house and call the Mom who was a no show. She and I had a mis communication. She was then to come and get my kids bikes and we would all attend after all. I trimmed the palm tree while the kids rode the bikes and she was a no show ,but then the phone rang she was delayed by a flat tire on the kids bike. A neighbor fixed it. Then after a strange morning she arrived. We all went to a park and spread out quilts and had a nice time .
As I arrived I looked up to see a familiar face greet me with surprise. It was the Mom we are going to do a play date with tomorrow and have Easter together. Well I invited her to join us. The three of us had so much more in common then the other two knew about. (adoption) children or the first Mother who all were adopted. It was a very nice time. Dash and I even got to play a game of "go fish" he won.
I had made the decision to stop kicking against the bricks and let go of the day. The weather was perfect. I was refreshed.
Upon arriving home at 2:30, I began the painting of the bedroom.
I am taking a rest for I am so tired and it is 4:30 now

Now you see it...

This was so hard to paint over.

Oh boo hoo:(

Now you see it better :)

7 p.m
I am woman I am tired:)
8 p.m. I had the touch up in the master bath.
The Mr. got me some Pei Wei (Chinese) for supper.
To the shower!

Next

"Pray for them to come..."She said

The Children are on Spring break this week. I awoke and made Beloveds lunch and wished him a happy St Patric's Day with a card.
Dash awoke shortly there after. then Dove . With breakfast and dogs fed., I began the day with pleas of desire for a certain friend to come over and play. Moments later that Mother my Dear Friend Julie called. Can we come to play, I welcomed her telling her I will have to do chores as we visit. She then astounded me ..."shall I ware my painting clothes?"...I am tearing up even now to tell you of such a great love she showed me.
We stripped the wall paper boarder and used about a 1/2 cup! of Spackle to fix "little boy walls".
I had purchased a spray can of texture for the wall repair that just about asphyxiated both of us. I had a migraine hit hard shortly after. We just closed the door with the fan on and the window open. After resting a bit I recovered.

Yes the walls were that bad.
After shelves were removed (I want to keep them) and all the dings and divots were fixed.

Julie asked me if I had prayed for help to come. I told her that I had not thought too. I was just doing what I saw to do each day. However...
This evening I do recall...That in the shower last night I was almost in tears and told the Lord how I was so tired and that I needed help. I had asked. Wow. I asked and she came and helped. She offered. I almost really cried twice in her presence...for it felt so loving as she stood there dressed in paint stained jeans and a t shirt. Greater Love...

The white spray is the texture.
This room will be ready for paint now.

Also today we had two calls for an invitation to go to a play date at a park on Wednesday and for a Easter party with other children Easter Morning. I have so longed to have our children join other kids for an egg hunt and celebration with like minded folks. Easter is my favorite holiday. My Mothers people were Esterdosh= Easterday.
Then we got a call from the mother of the party that Dove and I attended on Sunday. She has asked me to come with the kids to the park to meet other Mothers of kids who attend the school my kids do.
She also invited me to join the group on Thursday and a movie time at a $1 theater on Friday. What a warm welcome.
At Doves time of Sunday's party. This young Mothers neiphew was there with two siblings and both parents. The younger neiphew had Downs Syndrome and I was enjoying stimulating him. The little boy came to me and sat beside me engaging me much to his Fathers surprise. I told the parents that I have a gift with kids and have worked with the special need kids since I was in Jr High School. It was really cool how the boy came to me and pursued interaction with me.
These are Mothers who may just be my neighbors in the near future. God is preparing a path before me. He has showed me the way He is setting out. You see I have always been a Mother of many. Before I adopted my two I always had a yard and a house full of "latch key kids". That is a politically incorrect term now.
The neighborhood I am moving to has children all around. It is time for my home to hum again with the lives of children in addition to my own two. Now that my children are well and congruent I guess there is a season of being available to other kids too.
Young Mothers for tea and friendship.
I am letting go of all that is in the way, of being who
I am intended to be.

Monday magic

Missing

Margarita "Magui" Martinez

DOB: 4-19-1994

MISSING: 3-10-2008

2 scratches on left arm, just above the wrist; scar from a burn as a child on right index finger.

5'2", 120 lbs., hispanic

Magui has Retinitis Pigmentosa, an eye disease. Due to this, she has nightblindness, photophobia and tunnel vision.

May be accompanied by hispanic male.

Possibly in the Yuma, AZ area/ El Cajon, CA/San Diego, CA area.

If spotted, please call your local police department.

Sunday Smiles

Finished this this morning. And

This wall too...it is all the same color the lights make it look a little different.

all done!
Ya!
Dove had a big birthday party to go to at 2p.m. so I had the afternoon off.
Daddy Man has Dash. The boys went over to the Grandparents and got the chairs and a couple of silk trees for the staging.
Dove and I just got home.

An uncommon house...

Most folks have order and an organized home.
We have a measure of controlled chaos:)
We finished the kitchen wall and replaced the wood blind


The new family room is ready to set up as the entertainment center is empty.
I need to reload the dvd's and such.

This will come together shortly.
I'll have to shampoo a rug to set the stage here.

This wall got painted and I'll shampoo the other rug and make a little set up of chairs here.

Beginning the morning like this... I finished these boxes. Beloved took the "high dressers out to the garage. I had unloaded them yesterday. I made all those curtains and vallence. I will have to recover the door.

I took my leather wedding dress down and put the wedding ring quilt on the wall.
The vacuum and carpet cleaner will come into play during the week. I will shampoo this end of the house.

I removed all the drapery (dusty!) and left the hardware up for the new owners to use as they like.

This pink and burgundy has to go. So I had to "kill" it with a primer. It is stubborn.

It is really surprising how difficult it is to cover. The burgundy just keeps coming through. Two to three coats did it.

same with this wall and the commode.

Sorry side ways picture. It is just about how I feel. I went outside for some fresh air and decided to do this post and rest a bit.
Well post is done as is my rest.

Possibilities...

Possibilities...

We watched a beautiful Movie in the Daddy Mans office tonight. It was so dear. Dash made a comment about how the mother did not believe in the magic the wonder of possibility he said..." thats like you Mom...you don't believe in magic either mom".
It made me stop and wonder...
Tonight I found myself just falling apart and detoxing all the furry that consumed my ill guarded mind today. I have been so angry and under such intense attack today. Lies filling my mind until it all but exploded in the desperate frustrations that overwhelmed me. I expressed myself until I was at my my end all worn out from the excessive angry energies that consumed my peace and stand. Beloved let me down load it all and allowed me the space to just have a royal fit!. What we are encountering in this phase of our lives is very difficult. The labor of it it is so intensive and so difficult that I have found myself exasperated at the endless efforts I must extend.
This is very hard. Ins o many ways this is hard. I am (we are ) reinventing ourselves. I could not find my focus today and the last three days have all but left me wrung out of my self and my pride, greed and anger of the loss that we are facing in the choice to let go of this stuff. It is a time to fix our character onto what is of true value.
I am an orange with zest spraying all over the place while all that is unnecessary is pealed off me box by box. All the nurturing I have giving this crop is tested out to the inth degree. Every branch that needs to be trimmed is being so. It hurts, I feel naked with the removal of them. I know that the fruit that my next crop might bear will be much greater. much higher in the wealth of drink it might even offer others , but for now it hurts!
I do believe in the magic of the possibilities, I desire the wonder of a child to gaze through my own eyes. My sight is dim in that now, but I do believe.
As I dig up this basin so as to water deeply, as I fertilize and endure the pruning of all of this preparation. It is my hope that through all of this I might yield a crop worthy of God favor..

Welcome to this week’s edition of Aloha Friday.

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the weekend. Nothing heavy or too thought-provoking.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your link below. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

Today’s question is:

What is your kitchen color scheme?

I am currently exploring my options for my new kitchen. I love sunflowers, humming birds and flowers. I am excited to dream about it.

What Kind of Puzzle Are You?

You Are a Jigsaw Puzzle

You are a complex person, although at first glance you seem quite simple. Your personality is comprised of many interesting and distinct pieces. You are captivating and often visually interesting. You can be seen from many angles.

What Kind of Puzzle Are You?

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I have to do today

1. Rest and pace myself. Spend time quiet and in prayer. Asking for wisdom and guidance is so essential. So many folks are so desperate right now. I have a dear friend on an adventure to a writers conference. Another sweet lady has conceived after 5 yrs of trying. I am celebrating her in prayer as well. I have begun to find myself in a type of rejoicing delighted prayer for the things that are to be gained by the trials of those I love. I often think of what Jesus said at the last supper..."Help them resist temptation"... I am being tempted daily now to be grumpy and ill tempered because I have become too tired. I need to be wise and pace myself better. Part of resisting temptation is to be careful not to set myself up for it.
2. Paint the trim on the floor of the studio/family room. The couch and TV center is moving in here tonight. I got to be ready.
3. Paint the kitchen wall, window , and around the sink window. That will finish the kitchen off for the listing.
4. Contact my nephew to see if he will be coming today to help Beloved move the sofa and entertainment center.
5. Change the washer/dryer and lay out the clothing. My Laundry is huge! Wow! Life goes on and laundry is piling up! I am also packing up the winter things it is hot here now.
6. Call and cancel my children's ride in the morning. A dear friend has offered to give the kids a ride to school. I am going to put the yard sale off a week in order to better use my energies. I see the plan now for a call came in that a woman who needs the clothing and a few other things will be in valley next Thursday. It will give her time to go through it to see what she might need .I can also add more stuff to it this week as I do the last of the packing over the weekend and early next week.
7. Paint the trim on the sliding glass door. That can be low on the list but as long as the brush is full of trim paint I might as well .
8. Unload the DVD's and such and then reload it once it is moved
9. Cut up veggies for a big salad tonight.
10. Bring the kids home and enjoy them! Play and time together. They need to have me. I need to have them too. What a joy my children are to me. I wish that when we get moved I can have more of a laid back life as to give them lots of my time.
11. Put some music on to uplift my energies and spirit. Music is an important part of my life. I love to have lyrics that are life giving echoing (without the fabrics it is very echo-y) through my home.
12. Spend some time with my Husband. We are so worn and wherry. We are not worn out but close. It is very difficult to labor so hard. We have a goal.
13. Watch Lost at 7p.m. and 8p.m., and check out! I love my quiet Thursday nights. I go into my room and just enjoy the show uninterrupted! I am not too sure how this will all work out tonight.

Thankful Thursday

Fresh foods!
I am so glad that I pushed through my exhaustion yesterday and followed my path to the Whole Foods Store. Where I purchased organic eggs, and baby portabella mushrooms, tomatoes and green onions. We had Cara Cara (blood) oranges yesterday and the children had fresh strawberries after school. I have been living off my freezer and pantry for a month. I so missed healthy fresh foods. I am so thankful that I stopped and made this a priority.
In my exhaustion yesterday I became easy target for anger and frustrations.
Never get too tired to hungry or too lonely.
Well I really did myself all three. Beloved got the hot wind of it as I exhaled all over him my thoughts of all the injustices. Way, Way too tired!
Working so hard on this house and packing up our belongings has been a terrific amount of hard physical labor. I My strength is a vital part of accomplishing all the tasks that lay before me. Caring for my nutritional needs is important to do. I may even walk today after my visitor comes and leaves.
I had the idea of the children doing a lemon Aide stand during my yard sale so I have decided to postpone it a week.

Scrambled Eggs
Slice mushroom then dice.
Green onion Sliced very thin.
Slice bell pepper thin then dice it.

Heat pan first, then add a little olive oil
When oil is hot add vegetables and sweat them a minute or so.
Add two range free, organic large brown eggs
Using a chop stick (easy to wash) break yolks and stir.
The hot pan will cause the eggs to cook fast do not walk away.
When shine is dulled they are done.
Enjoy!