Consume verses being Consumed

consume consumed
Yesterday at the grocery store I had a wonderful epiphany. Now the thought had occurred to me many times and had even escaped my lips from time to time, but on that day it really jelled deeply within me.
I was looking at cards for the upcoming Valentines day. It was a cute card that had caught my eye. It read...
"I have for you the Intimate passionate love of a much younger woman with far fewer children"... I got a chuckle out of it and then turned it over to see they were asking $5 for it. Startled I looked at it again and the card went from some trinket I thought to consume to give to Beloved to something that would consume $5 of our hard earned income. I pause and chuckled as I put it down all but gleefully free from the desire of it. I thought wow I am getting free. I told my sweet heart about it and much joy came to him over both the thought of the line in the card but even more how it meant more to him to receive it from my heart than as a paper document to be tossed a few moments later (well days). I walked the whole of the store as advertisement after advertisement reached out to me as if leaches awaiting my blood to suck. I felt powerful!
Now this is coming from a woman who has been the best of home maker and the best of bargain shopper for many a year. I have been freed in part for years but that day I got down right cocky and took back the rest of my power! The marketers are doing everything they can to get the hand into our pocket, purse and bank account. Through credit cards they have even now began to raise interest rates on folks retroactively. Did you know that? That means that if you have an old balance against you on a credit card they can bump up the rates on even the old balance.
Now we are free of credit card debt for we have never really kept any balance. We were able to use it and pay it in full at the end of the month. Our nation, you ...me we are being consumed.
We are told we are consumers....well who is really being all used up?
Even though what we are doing is a hard thing (selling out and getting a starter house that we can shortly own outright,) it is free of the hand of "the man" reaching deep into our pocket through usury.
Now the banks are going to give a 30 day grace for those souls going into foreclosure (We are not among them, we do this now by choice. ) so that they can work things out with their banks. I have heard that a family of 4 will be receiving a $1600? tax refund incentive in mid summer... this is because no one has any money to spend and they are trying to give it out in hopes that it will stimulate the economy. Our country is hurting.
Our very life is being robed at our invitation. Sure come on in and we might even let you have our first born if... we get a new car a big house and all the stuff we could ever want. Do not fall for it dear ones. It is all vanity.
If it is that you own it, it is free to you. I am so trusting in freedom. Humility is found in it.
I think that our happiness will be there too. I am speaking of true happiness that which is lasting and sure. Joy well that is a different type of constant.
Oh my I hope I didn't get soap on ya all. Just have to get it out. It is what is driving me. Empowering me in this quest.

So what do you think?

Tackle It Tuesday

Good Morning!
As I type this tackle my hands reak of pesticide. I was preparing the early morning tasks of making the lunches. had purchased a large container of green seedless grapes from Costco and was washing them as is my custom. They smelled strong when I opened the container. It wafted up at me and I searched for any other source only to find it was indeed the food (grapes) that I was preparing to feed my children!
It concerns me the package said rinse well sulphide dioxide use as a fungicide. Well It may be used but in this case well over used...now my hands smell of it and it is making me breathless.

My tackles today include packing the hutch.
A good friend called and we talked of greater things in all this and it helped me through the process of packing the hutch. At one point I almost began to cry. I was a wave of emote. I have known so many things in my life. So many wonderful people who have passed on. We spoke for a wonderfully long time of deeper things. Trisha that was really a treat. If you read this ...I really love WHO you are!
We were at a close with the ring of the door bell...It was my FILove.


This is the before...

These were the things I was easily able to let go of...(plus a few others)
The stem ware were a wedding gift but they only have 7 and we never used them.
I made the white guardian angle, the angle with the little girl is me as a child , but I am no longer a child ...now I am an amazing powerful woman! I teared up at that line but it is true.
The angle with the kids on the slide was what I got to fill the collection of figurines in time line, but I never really liked it a lot. The Lords supper is an old piece I let go. As you may see I love bisk. The hummer was just a little pretty I got to recall the gift once given of a hummer in hand during a very hard time. I walked up to a hummer in his last hours and was able to hold it living in my hand while I had to undergo a meeting that was more difficult than most face. God was there for me in that hummer that day. I have another hummer over my kitchen sink hanging on a fishing line. It will hold that memory for me. The floral bowl was given years ago by a neighbor who was agnostic and yet thought so much of me as to give it to me because of the example of my walk. She saw my belief in my life and gave it to me as an acknowledgment of that. The flowers were my old kitchen. I still have that fabric. Maybe I can start to imagine how I can decorate the next home.

This is after the bottom is also cleared except the table cloths. I'll hold onto them until I know whether I will be able to keep the dining room set in the next place. I got four boxes of keeper and two boxes of give/sell.

My FILove came by and gave me two wonderful huge boxes that are perfect for textiles. I thought I would use it for kids toys , but the fabric out of the hall cupboard fit perfectly!
Well its noon and I feel tired. I will be still a while to hear whats next.
I think I will make the children some cup cakes.

My big tackle is...Rapping my brain around my husbands deep desire to do this with no mortgage that may mean a 1400 square foot house. We are leaving a 2300 sq foot house. I have to choose to trust Gods provision! So please help me in my tackle by joining me in celebration of praising God for HIS provision for us. I do trust HIM and do desire to have a home that is one we can enjoy living in. I have witnessed so many amazing things that I know it will all be O.K.. It does take some effort not to get overwhelmed with the thought of it. I really admire my husbands heart to be free. To be secure in our shelter in such a way we can live life fully. The added knowledge that I will never need to be concerned of shelter for the children and myself is also a big benefit. It is a real huge choice in this consuming society.
As I pack today I need to listen carefully to what I keep and what I let go of. It is truely a great big tackle.
I have had some real deep realizations in this process. I am letting go People who gave me gifts...Memories of many who have passed...I will sort things into keep give/sell and hold onto untill my heart choice of letting go of. those will be the fillers if it is given enough room to keep once we move into a house that we might find. You know I have helped clear estates of elders who have passed on it is cool that I am doing this for myself.

Awards fun.

Care o' lynn over at "talk to Grahms" just passed on these cute offerings to us on her blog role. She is so thoughtful that way.

I pass this on to all of you over on my side blog role too. Just high light and and hit ctrl "c" then open a post and hit ctrl "v" and post it up. Have fun.

Menu Plan Monday

Amazingly I accomplished this this morning!
The acorn squash is baked with maple syrup and brown sugar.
I insert a long aluminum nail in my baked potatoes then cover them with foil to bake. the bake in half the time and thus energy is saved. Think use less pay less for utilities and conserve the resources for our next generation.
I have a full week so I thought I would try to keep it simple by baking the meals all together. I'll bake the meat loaf and chicken dish with the sweet potatoes maybe.
Happy Valentines on Thursday. Beloved is going to take a long lunch to be with me. He will have to work overtime on Tuesday,Wednesday's and Friday to make up for it. I have his supper plated to our Wednesday evening is at a roller rink for the children's school has an event. I'll have to plate his food tonight also for he has mens meeting. Oh! he has mens meeting on Wednesday too oh drats! Thursday we plan to go out with friends yet it is still tentative.

A full weekend.

Friday night we took the Kids out to pizza.

Saturday we worked hard on the house. Hubby worked on the master shower scraping out old grout. While we also had time to make a check list of things we have to do.

Saturday, after some research we Moved the trailer to a storage lot.
It opened up the garage bay.
This is all the Sell and/or give away stuff I have collected so far. I need to box it or set it up better. Those bags are full of the toys that Daddy man tossed out of the house so they need to be sorted to match up the parts if I try to sell them. It must get done while the kids are at school.

We have since then moved out the big shelving units off the living room wall and the many boxed books and knick knacks, wall art and such. I have now moved into the living room. We have cleared the hall by the master room. All the wall art is down in the master and living room up to the laundry room. We will begin prepping the walls with Spackle as I move forward toward painting out the green walls to a neutral. The garage will be ready to pack up as well. I Will start on the hutch soon and it too will go into the garage.


The master bathroom is just "plain". I removed everything.
The Roses over the mirror made this room so cozy. Now it feels vast.
Hubby re-caulked the master shower and scraped the hard water off the glass. We still have t use some C.L.R. to remove the residue. I'll clean that carpet just before we put the place the house on the market.

We may paint the pink wall the cappuccino brown color,
and remove the pink valance and the bedroom draperies.

The Mr. and I Moved more stuff to the garage and also fed the children and had a family movie time. It is so hard to give them all the attention the need. They have been doing pretty well with all of this and are very excited about moving. They are very happy.
Please pray for those angles and all those divine opportunities to come together for us as we walk forward into the things before us. It is so wonderful to know His hand is for us.


We get to the rink at 3:20 practice started 3:40

It was great to see them doing so well.
The children are really getting the skating thing down. Dove watches over her brother so lovingly. He has a hard time because He can not hear. I want to go help him. I have to just let go...He must make it on his own. Man that is so hard as a Mom to give them the independence to function on their own. He can not ware his hearing aides on the ice. They do not fit in his helmet.
Dove has the orange leggings and Dash has the hood and blue helmet.

We came home to a tired couple of children. Oat meal supper and a Walton's movie might.
I had gone off to get more boxes while Daddy Man made the oatmeal. The experience was very upsetting. I drove behind a store to see if there was any there and saw some. So I was loading them had all of them in the truck and two men came out and were verbally violent towards me saying"those don't belong to you!" I said that I though them to be trash and apologized and unloaded them I spoke of the nice day to one man and he was startled and then softened his tone. The other man was glaring at me and I had had enough. I said "Hay I am not a "*itch", I am unloading them without attitude and acknowledged my error" Then the other man showed me a small sign that was mostly covered up that it was a crime to remove anything. I said that No I had not seen the sign then he continued to be rude to me. I finished unloading then bid them both a nice evening...They softened and looked sheepish. I was upset by the whole thing. So I have been all evening. It was so unpleasant to be treated like a criminal. I really thought that they we trash. I thought of it later and I suppose I can see that they were a recycled box perhaps. I still feel riled up. The way that young man was looking at me with such HATE and violence angers me. At least it did not frighten me. I was so cocky to tell him off for it. It felt real good to stand up for myself to such insolence.
Beloved has called me to him.
Good night!

Photo Hunt *Heavy*

Well this is a timely topic.

Aloha Friday

Someone shared a perspective with me that left me to consider the wonder and poetry, the beauty of a simple spider web.
What is a perspective that you have of something that others may not have considered?

For me...I saw a geese fly today and as they take off they defecate. They loose all the excess "****" before they take flight. Made me think about the flight I am packing for. The load of "stuff" I need to drop as I too prepare to take flight.. :)

visit others over at "Island Life"

Grabbed the day by the tail and what a ride! Mathers Award.

Oh my!
I had a very full day today. After the morning chores of lunch for hubby and a post, Kids awoke and we ate or they did and I sped off to a 5 minute shower to wash my hair. Once I threw the jeans on and a sweater I was off to take the kids to school.
After a great stretch of the neck, literally at therapy I called up a blog friend and hit the freeway (going the wrong way during to missing my exit) made a big loop and got gas. At the gas station had a nice visit with the attendant who is raising his 10 yr old grand son. We shared the joy of a life with children. Then it was off to the city.
I went to visit "Spider Lady" and deliver her "pay it forward" in person. I made her a needle case I'll do a post on it later.

What a nice woman! She was such a sweet hostess. What a loving little Mother she is to her two adorable kids. Her little boy Bud was so cute! Very gregarious and fun. Her adorable daughter Tweety is full of smiles. I had a wonderful visit that was short due to the travels I had a head of me and my unease at being so far from my kids it was a good 15 + miles from home. I made a big loop up north and east to go get my Rx ( I have an apothecary shop mix my hormones. I have a much better effect with less migraines doing so but they are a long way from home.
I then stopped on the trip south to get a Taco Bell. The sweet gentleman who was cashiering was so kind. I realized after the fact that he gave me a drink for free when he saw me counting my coins and a .36 cent discount too. That was cool. I parked and got out of the car to sit by the pond and eat. There was many Canadian geese in formation over head at a short distance and I saw a Killdeer bird too. I really felt refreshed. I drove home through the reservation lands.
I saw the furrowed land big clods of earth upturned and awaiting the drying of the sun and to be ground down into a soil ready for seed. The clods made me think of the boxes around my house drying in the process of moving as I await the turning of the soil for seed. This is a wild adventure. I will post some photos when I have a chance.
In all there was over 50+ miles on that tank of gas. I arrived home just after 2 pm tired.
went and got the kids and they were such a chatter with the glee we call Friday. We snacked and rested. I fell asleep at the TV to have Beloved walk in to find me dazed. HE SAT DOWN on the sofa for a little visit. Wow that was so nice just to say hi. The kids were doing computer and did not hear him come in. I had him all to myself a few moments. That was nice.
I was craving PIZZA. We never get pizza because Dash and I are allergic to cheese and wheat is no friend of mine either. We splurged! We all went to a Peter Piper. Wow Dinner out that was nice. We got 20 tokens for free with our pizzas. Dash and I split a ultra thin crust with the works NO CHEESE. It was still good. The kids played games and we had a nice visit all together full of laughs and such then Dove looks at me and says..." Mom you have not had any blow ups for a long time"...I thanked her for noticing, it felt real nice to have such positive feed back like that unsolicited.
A couple sitting near us gave the kids another 10 tokens so while Daddy Man ate the last slice of his...the kids and I went and spent the last 3 of the tokens they each had. Then we awaited the ticket counter and cashed them in. The children enjoyed the treats and My husband told me a strange saga of a fellow he knows at his work. It was so nice to hear about his world at work. I felt very close to him. We are home now of course. Dove just dictated the most wonderful thing to her father I'll ask her if I can share it. the kids are playing and I have cola in me and am buzzing from the caffeine.
Wow that is a full day! Upon coming home the dogs were so happy to see us that Willy almost knocked me over , he acts more like a gazelle then a dog.

She said yes...

THIS IS HOW I THINK THE TREE HOTEL SHOULD BE

First, (her friend) and I should get the biggest tree in the forest. Then we should start
building. We will build two houses in it; one for (her friend) and one for me.

Next, we shall buy a car.

Now we will have two kitchens, two stoves and two sinks and in the bathroom we'll
have two toilets. Next we will have a bridge and a river under it and the houses
will be rainbow colors. We'll have a fireplace and two chimneys for each of us.
We'll both get married and have kids and have red and blue steps. Then we'll have a yellow balcony and we'll have other houses if other people stop by they can stay for the night. We'll have eleven other houses for other people who stop by. The people will have the same things that (her friend) and I have in their houses so my mom and dad can stop by and my little brother and (her friend) mom and dad and brother and sister.
We'll have red bird houses and the poor can stop by as well and if they are missing
some legs they can go through the wooden door and there will be a flat spiral ramp
that goes to their house. Next, if there are some people who don't have hands the
door will open for them. The houses will have red shutters and we'll grow a garden.
That's the end…

I removed her friends name
That last part really touched my heart. This child is very caring of others. She is quiet about it very very introspective of the needs of others. I love my daughters heart it is so beautiful. Some day I want to make a way to take her to a place like that.
Oh I was given this by my friend over at "Yesu Garden" today
She wrote...
I'm giving this award to my friends for showing me the LOVE and LIFE of Christ through their daily lives.

The rules to pass on this award are posted below
In the spirit of this award, the rules are simple. Winners of this award must pick five other "disciples" to pass it on to. As you pass it on, I just ask that you mention and provide links for(1)this post as the originator of the award ( Dan King of Management by God)(2) the person that awarded it to you, and then(3) name and sites of the five that you believe are fulfilling the role of a disciple of Christ.

Thank you Sis
I'll need to reflect on this this week end.

Relationship

"Much of what God wants to work on in us will come about as we grow in our relationship with the people Gods puts in our lives."

This is a quote ( a very good one) that came in a sweet e-card from a friend this morning. It was very timely. She sent it from my positive effect apparently in her life.
Yesterday a had a very Hard Day!
It was a day where I was full of RAGE. I was stuck in a triangle of rage that looked like this...
Anger tipped one end, loss or fear of it another tip and shame or guilt the last. My tender feelings had been hurt and hurt deeply. Frustration gave me a very short fuse. A spark of mis communication set it off.
The challenges that occur in relationships are often based on the interpretations we have of another's behaviors or words. Genders think differently. Behaviors occur out of old wounds or just personality types.
During stressful times these things can occur with much greater intensity. As they did for me yesterday.
Being angry however does have a gift that is offered. It is the gift of strength. Anger is a powerful force. A force I had to ride out for several stressful hours. I did my best not to sin in it by listening and bridling my tung. Not an easy act to be sure. Hurt people,hurt people. I was feeling very hurt. I do not ever purposefully want to hurt anyone.
I knew going in to this journey of obedience the assault would come as in any good battle the enemy is ready to jump into any opportunity. Expecting him to do so can keep the surprise response at bay.
By the end of the day and the arrival of my friend we were able to talk it out. To work through the wounds and hear each other more clearly. Expectations are very hard to let go off.
I read in a blog a wonderful comment on goals how we try to change on our own and yet the true changes can only occur as we relinquish to God our design and desire to effect lasting change in our behavior. I hope this for my friend and I both.
Marriage takes work, a friendship takes time and when time becomes robbed friendships suffer.
Beloved and I are short of time together that is most marriages when small children and long work hours and misunderstanding sets in.
Today is a new and better day with peace restored in our lives, lives that are not that uncommon.

Everyone has laundry and sometimes we can learn from the way another sorts it out. :)

A gift from Jaye too cute!

New Moon

Tonight is the night of the New Moon. My children sleep in a little later with the morning being darker. It has been that way now this week. I like the new moon for the quiet morning start is a slow pace. Light makes such a difference in our lives. To most being in the dark is a hard thing. I suppose to me it is as well. I am in the dark over my future with the house sell and all. I am selling a house , in the worlds eyes at the worst possible time. Yet I found a calm in the dark as well. My eyes do not have to have everything illuminated. All the world is a glow with illumination, energy's burn hot on this planet. You can see images from space that are so profound. The continents are bright in the night. In the U.S.A. it is so bright on the East coast at night that it is as day at all hours. No rest to be found. With the New Moon there is a rest in the universe well at least on this side of the moon. Our world has learned however to never rest. Never be still in the darkness. I like resting in the dark. At therapy I love it when I'm all hooked up to the electrodes and my back is heat soaked as well as my neck. They turn the lights off and close the door behind them. I am still. I can think clearly or not at all for those few moments . Our world does not allow for this for the inhabitants to stop, think and or just be still.
I have read..."Be still and know that I am God."
How can the world know him when they can never just Stop and be Still.This is a great ploy I believe by the enemy of our hearts. When we don't know the future or see the path past our next foot fall it is in being still and knowing that GOD IS GOD, and GOD is for us not against us. If we place our LOVE ON HIM then we can learn to trust. Trust in the quiet, those dark days when we just can't or don't understand. We Can be STILL and KNOW that He is GOD.
It is a New Moon, when all is calm and all is quiet...we can not see but just trust that we can be refreshed in the quiet.
Come to the quiet, come and still your soul like a child asleep on his fathers knee...come and still your soul...completely. Come to the quiet.

Wordless Wedensday

Awaiting morning "loves".
They get pet and a good back rub.