"You have made me a better therapist"

To slay the dragon...
This morning I had to give a confrontation to a fellow who really said something hurtful on Monday. So I have this pain in my neck due to a sprained muscle. Attending therapy 3 time a week is a time consuming thing. Yet I see so many suffering and not just of body , but more importantly of spirit. That is a rabbit trail all it's own worthy of exploration, yet not my point here. Perhaps it ultimately is...
On Monday I was in attendance of therapy and the fellow working my case was busy so I just filled the lull time with exercises for my knee as well (old wound). I waited a good 35 minutes or so when A lovely young woman entered the area. She was nicely matched for her wardrobe was a great color for her and I complimented her. We struck up a conversation and I edified her hard works with well earned praise. She said that she believed the most important jobs are as Teacher and Mother and I up heartily said well than I'm pretty well covered.
She was beautiful, young and well educated. She was obviously intelligent, thoughtful and well mannered.
The therapist then walked up and said" Do you mind if I work on her first ...? She has very important work, you know she is a lawyer."
I deferred, But felt hurt.
I have attended this facility many times over the years and this fellow knows me to be someone who would defer to a person suffering or one who is in an emergent time frame, but to defer because someone was more important than I because of status floored me.
These opportunities for lessons to be learned. Well I made it to my car still a bit startled and hurt not really offended yet. :) I looked into my mirror and said some thing to my soul regarding how I used to have the looks, I guess I'm in a new passage of life.
Well all of Monday afternoon I was a bit down on myself. The foothold of my enemy had wedged in the door of my mind and heart. I started to look pretty down on myself and the flood of lies demising my dignity came a flooding in. Wave after wave, sorrow then filled in the gaps and I began to grieve the education that was robbed from me because of my youth, and the lack of personal value to my community came on in then . Lie after lie. I became weakened by it.
Of course this happened when my covering (husband) was busy with a mens meeting and was not available to talk to. It was really a hurtful thing I was asked to do.
To step aside because the other person has more value...???
Well I finally let it out of the shell of what was left of my dignity after the enemy had worked on me for a few hours. My sister called and I told her what had happened...She was outraged and said that she would of handled it ...well differently.
I had not until that time realized how truly offensive a comment it was. I was determined not to be offended but to take my dignity back. It took two more conversations with people to help me get back to center. Beloved was rather angry that his bride was spoken to in such a way. My friends were not at all pleased with it either. They even reminded me of who I am. You see sometimes I forget. I fall into that old well worn rut. Grooved into me from early on and often much like a cliff to fall over.
Well today I determined I needed to tell him, When you...I felt...
So I did!
I took great courage and told him.
I said " I have deferred to those suffering, I really do not mind. I have deferred to those who my have an urgency. I give freely but to be asked to defer to someone because they are more important than I am...Well that was hurtful"...
At first he was defensive and said" well, that is your interpretation of what happened"... I just held fast to my peace and did not deter it. I spoke that It was what he had said and that I needed to just let him know that it really hurt.
I then had the recline to have him massage my neck. (that took some courage) I determined not to rage over his comment of "my interpretation".
Then he spoke" you know your right. That was not o.k., but she...he paused and then continued no I am not going to defend myself I was wrong and I am sorry"
I told him that my husband supported me and reminded me of my value but it was a real painful thing to me. He said that by my telling him that...

"You have made me a better therapist"
He continued I know I have had to have done that before.
I told him that my husband and I spoke about loving him enough
to say something to him about it.
He said "that He is not surprised that I would care enough to do so, knowing me and how he appreciated my courage to do so, He continued...not many folks would say anything.
He thanked me! He then helped me sit up, reached out and hugged me over the shoulder. Then bent down and placed my shoes before me and reached down for my purse and handed it to me.
I did not get a great neck massage but I was a courageous kind warrior woman!