Well now that we are all exhausted...

We found our Lab under the tree Christmas Night.
I think most of us can relate.
My husband and I got all the dishes washed and the foods stored .
He has given me the gift of service over the last two days.
He and the kids built Lego's, while I cooked the big meal.
This was the first year I just let the house go, and focused on a nice meal.
Dove came to me and said " Mom. it is so nice that you did not get all uptight over the house and having everything just right this year.
It has been so peaceful and your not all freaked out."..........
I knew I was doing the right thing!

I received lovely gifts from my family and friends.
Denise sent me the most beautiful book mark of a cross, I think it is a machine embroidery that is like the old tatting style.
I just love tatting.
It may even be tatting , I am not sure.
Thank you Denise.
Trisha made a very pretty bracelet of floral beads in plum and clear crystal.
Thank you my Dear Friends.
It was so fun to receive them.

Dove colored a beautiful snow flake and Dash gave me the gift of words.
Dove had Daddy Man take a picture of her with the Golden.
Very sweet.
To my great surprise I received a type of camera to hook up my computer to a thing called Skipe.
Now I am in the loop.
I was able to talk to my Sister out of state and see her face as we spoke.
This will also allow me one day to perhaps tape some demos or just a hello.

My Brother called me today.
We spoke a long time.
He is in cold country and is stoking up his wood burning stove.
He told me something that was a nice gift this year to hear...
He said "that he never tells me enough how proud he is of me"....

I have a tender heart.
Raising two special needs kids is hard.
It is made more difficult when I am judged by anyone who does not understand the things My Mr. and I go through on a daily, weekly basis.
We chose to be parents and have NEVER regretted it!
We KNEW that our kids would have needs that most parents NEVER face.
I am so flawed as a person, mother and friend.
Yet I walk in integrity and my character is good.
My brother being proud of me is nice.
It is a part of my great wound.
I NEVER heard my parents say that to me...
Sometimes I err and find myself longing for that same approval from those who I admire.
I need only to seek it from God!
It is not for another to ever fill that chasm of empty want for acknowledgment.
I get so mad at myself when I set myself up for disapproving words.
Critical cuts and digs that are so well intended perhaps , but so very hurtful.
I have been licking my wounds.
Unable to come here and write.
Thinking of ending this blog.

Yet is is you who have all given me the kindness that some days (many days) propels me on.
I am in tears of your kindness, lonely tonight as I am overwhelmed by the truth of who I am and the job I am doing. I am imperfect, but I am raising two amazingly wonderful little people who yes...may be imperfect at times. They are wonderful, kids...crazy charming drive ya nuts people who love me more than I ever thought possible. Depending on me to believe in them with all I have In me I stand up to that charge. Am I always consistent or as firm perhaps as I could be?
It is so hard to have a child who is socially cognitively challenged.
A great heart she has; sometimes "We" are just at a loss as to being able to tell what she is capable of or not. If we err it is on the side of mercy. For it just kills me when I have expected more than she could give and hurt her.
Between the joy glee and fantasy world of Dove, the hearing impairments, and the extremely high IQ of Dash... this is a zany loud chaotic (at times) home.
If you ever came here though you would be amazed at how happy our children are.
I would never want to trade that for perfectly miserable (behaved) kids.
O.K., I just had to wipe my eyes and rub my face folks.
I just had to blow that one off.
So I could come back here and be me.
Transparent me.

Today
We rode the new Metro

Today the New Rail system opened up her in the Valley of the sun.
We took the kids on an adventure is the metro system.
They had free rides from morning tell 11 p.m.
It is cold here however and night fall felt it coming on.

There were great celebrations of bands and booths, at almost every stop.
However Dove got by us with shorts on,
and so we cut it short for she was cold and the crowds were massive!
A fellow said that just by mid day they had moved at least 250,000 people!
I think they were all on the cars we were on.
Sardines in a can.
At one time a hand was in my back pocket!
Beloved grabbed his wallet and put it in his shirt pocket.
(my pocket was empty)

Dove hated it!
Dash was so small in the mass of people I really felt I had to guard him from being smashed by the crowd.
We kept the kids in the center of us.
It is NOT my preference.
I do think all of us will have a greater gratitude for our own cars.

So now Phoenix is a new metro city.

We came home and just took it easy.
I made burgers and apples for supper.
My Love and I washed HULU a internet type T.V.
The kids watched the movie "Big"
Then we all came together for talk time and put them to bed.
They are camping out in the living room tonight.

Now do I hit delete or publish?

Girls/Boys I am too tender and care too much what others think.
It is what God thinks of me and Daddy Man.
We are doing our best.