Hello My Friends

I guess I have not been very wordy for a few days...
You ever have times when you just think that you reveled too much? When I shared about my dead friend I opened and exposed an event that was so very tender and now well...I feel tender.
My usual upbeat mood has been somewhat somber for this last week or so. I am struggling with the idea that you all just must think I am so crazy (that is the lie that the enemy of my heart keeps telling me). I am not however, I am a woman of clay (so to speak) yet I feel sorta cracked. It took me a long time to ever open up about what I went through all those many years ago. I opened up to strangers and exposed a very challenging time in the struggle known as my life.

The big thing was that I linked the blogs.
I got all a jitter over it.

Now I might really be judged!
Instead of reaching out, I just sorta pulled away.

The week was very busy and they just fly past the days like a blur. The kids had the day off today. So we had a play date at a friends house. It was so peaceful and a delight to be with her, Trisha is over at "Photo Daughter of the King". Our kids are matched where her two are almost two years separated she has a 12 and a 5, I have a 10 and a 6 3/4. The girls are the older and our boys the younger. They all played so wonderfully together. It was so nice just to sit and rest over a cup of tea with her. We each prayed our sons into our homes. Her and I both had a desire for a son. My friend sent us home with a big box of clothing for Dove. That was so sweet of her. She seemed thrilled to get rid of another box, she has been unpacking her new home they recently moved into.
I am have an MRI in the afternoon tomorrow for my neck. It really is paining me. Finding it a niusence I am just getting by with it for now. I have tried ignoring (thinking it is just stress) it for several weeks to no avail. I hate having pain it is such an annoyance to me. Slows me down and that is just not OK with me. Any way Mrs. Stubborn (me) got an appointment for it and the process begins to have some investigation into it. I think I must sound like a bleeding heart. So I did not want to post about it. There goes my days 3x's a week now for therapy on it. I am very grateful to be able to get the help with it yet it is just one thing after another. I guess I have more to learn on this circle.
You know the old "don't assume" thing because it makes an *** out of you and me. :)
Some times I falter and assume things with expectations for rejection. I pull away first so then it wont hurt so much if I am rejected. Old ways die hard.

My MILove is inpatient at a hospital. I am concerned about her health.

I did not get the meal plan up last night. I still need to get it accomplished. The muscle relaxers the doctor gave me cause me to fall asleep on the spot if I rest my head a moment.
Things are looking up around here. I am relieved of the heavy pressure to get clothing made in a hurry. I know that God was now telling me "too much" I have just been trying to do too much! "Do not do so much" His message to me. I was requiring way more out of myself than I needed too.
A line from an old song rings in my mind.

"The leader of the band is old, and his eyes are growing dim...
but his blood runs through my instrument.
It took me years to understand..."