Thursday, October 21, 2010

Back to nature

Many years ago when Dove was only one or two years of age. I was at a grocery store with her when this little old lady was staring at us. I smiled at her and bid her good morning. She was flustered and had a curious expression on her face. So I continued to check out all the while she was staring at Dove and I.
All of the sudden she blurts out (loudly)
"Oh I get it her father must be blond!"
to that I replied "I really don't know"
August she was  red in the face and uppity judgmental.
To that I replied "she is adopted."

That time forward I worked my way up to a lighter and lighter blond/brown hair color. At 36 my hair had never been colored. Always being a natural sort of woman it was unthinkable. As the years have passed by the lightening just became a thoughtless thing. Well perhaps not so thoughtless. It was so important to me that the kids always felt a part of, or a sense of belonging to us.
Recently at a mom/daughter time Dove noticed that the top of my head was very dark and the ends almost blond. She was stunned! Now with 50 only a few months off the dark had the sweet tell tell signs of the years hard efforts, my first graying hairs. Dove was told the thing was that I thought I just looked prettier with light hair.
In actuality it was light so long that I never really gave it much thought. For my early ears it was full of sum kissed highlights. Lemon juice on tips of fingers would be rubbed into my hair. It was very light by end of the summers.
Recently it occurred to me why. Why had my true image been lost into the mom bear watching over the cubs. Now they are able to well watch over their own self in this. For we all belong so tightly together. In the early years so much energy was placed on the attachment disorders/issues that it mattered most that they not experience any other ignorant thoughtless questions of 'how 'we belong together.

The day before yesterday I came home to my true color.

Now the kids want dark 'high lights'. It was explained that that would not be a lightening but a darkening. So in the summer they might for fun get to have a darker wash out color. Not allowed during the school year for it would be disrespectful and distraction in class. Funny it just occurred to me. For years I changed to be like them...now they want to change to look like me.

When I was in my early thirties I came to know that I am not as my sister of the same dad. My dad was a boarder in the boarding house. An Inuit Native American man. When I learned that I was so Native American life changed. I kid you not. I was treated much differently when I identified as Caucasian. As I identified as NA there were less chins held high when spoken to. The racial issues in this country are so sad. All over the world for that matter. As part Cherokee/dutch and Inuit tanning stopped. So funny when I was a white chick with an awesome tan it was cool. Oh yes when I tan it is so pretty. I stopped tanning during those years. I always said it was to protect my skin. Cool to step back and look at all the fall out. I love my skin. I really love having my hair color back.

3 comments:

Susie said...

I tried to go back to my natural color and I hated it. So, I will continue to live authentically in other ways:-)

Yours looks great!

JUST A MOM said...

looks very nice I like it!!!!!! I forget my NATURAL color hahhhaaaa

Denise said...

You are beautiful sis, love you.

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

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By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • "HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS"
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

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This was given to me for the third time in just a few weeks.

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
"For the LORD your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty savior. He will rejoice over you with great gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will exult over you by singing a happy song."

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