Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A new take on fear

Hello all
 below are the links

Now knowing this and understanding the significance of what I am about to tell you perhaps you will be more able to hear me out.
Recently there have been wonderful huge changes in me that at first glace may be miss judged or misunderstood.
It takes some courage to try to articulate these things.
Knowing that above all God respects our choice. Knowing that ALL THINGS are intended in Christ to become new. I am fully convinced a path to walk along is before me. Now this is a very strange yet liberating path. Knowing above all that it is my hearts desire to walk in the freedoms gained. My time has come at hand. Amazingly by taking charge over the rein of terror that has led my life thus far. In so many ways I am witnessing a transformation. Now this transformation might just raise an eye brow or two. My hands are clean. I have stood up to the terror and demanded of it to release the hold it has over me. It will be for me to show my children that everyone can overcome. Overcome you ask, yes. Now I am not in a dilution, no I am not being duped into a faultiness of error. Even if I were I trust that God has his plan and his hand upon this matter.

The joy of childhood was robbed me, it has also been robbed of my children as they are well aware of my PTSD. They protect me. That IS NOT their job. They let go of pleasures and experiences that they might base their own choices on. If we as parents do not (in and just before adolescence) begin to let experience dictate the order of their choice they will become robots. When they walk out of that door at 18 all HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE all at once. For it will not be chosen in small doses to avoid it.
In the midst of what is unfolding here I am actually for the first time in my life BOSS over the experience of holloween. It NO LONGER will have the power over me to toss the innocence just because evil robs it of its beauty and laughter.

My children and husband and I did an amazing thing last weekend that blew my families minds!
I walked into a costume shop with authority and the power of innocence and demanded the evil step aside. A boundary was set for the kids that we would have costume evening out. Celebrating youth beauty and fun. Giving NO focus to the evil. Giving only authority over it. We left that store empty handed but rich in that force that pounded within me as power not PTSD and flash backs.

This is my witness to my children that there is always overcoming when all 

You see it is not the intent of this woman to remain a victim, or have the pleasure and joy of innocence robbed from my family. I am an overcomer over evil. This is my witness to my children. They know and understand my journey.  No gruesome or violent costumes is the boundary. They respect and understand that.

After all of these years of denying the pleasure of sewing up costumes, giggling affections and more.
We are all looking forward to the opportunity to have a costume evening. Now it just coincides with the trick or treat crowd . It would never be my kids way to ever trick anyone. They are also well taught of the tricksters and snakes in the grass.


All things have become new. It is beyond me to express the power of authority in this. Perhaps I might just lose some of you. Or at least your respect, this is being real. It is said that "it is not for me to know (be afraid of) what others might think of me. It took great courage to challenge those fears of rejection. Taking back the authority and removing the power of the fear that so enslaved me how could a well let my fear of judgment hold me back.
I have thought a lot about Solomon of late. HE is brought to my mind most often. I love the Lord my God with all my heart. That matters most.

"if she does that how could she"?
Because I know of whom I am known. It is a very challenging thing to address this fear with authority. My children have shown all ready extensive thought over the matter. They know my convictions and yet see the tenacity of a woman who is walking standing up to evil and not cowering in a corner lights off and tv low afraid of the night. They have joined me these years in that. It is that I become new.
It is that HE is using it to teach these children some of the most amazing lessons about authority over the darkness.

Now I learned so many things in that store about how people identify with things based on the level of maturity, If they ever were able as adolescence to rebel in a governed way of identity separation from parents. If not they were all about doing so as grown ups.  Or they just identified with a significant message or what things stood for. It was fascinating really.

There is a fair amount of change going on within this uncommon life.
As Most or at least many of you know that I have and am against the darkness of this holiday.
As many know the history of this up coming season has left many many in fear of those dark origins.
Come back and read this first please.


Susie said...

I am so sorry that this time of year is so hard for you.

JUST A MOM said...

I AM TOTALLLLYYYYY BEAMING FOR YOU MY DEAR FRIEND!!!!!!! you have taken a HUGE STEP Please do not think BEFORE I EVER thought you were less then,,, only that NOW I see you have gotten a to a place where YOU can stand and take POWER over that of which has bound you for so long! PICTURES PLEASE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Reighnie said...

Hey Girl,

It has been a long time. I was just looking back at some old posts and I came across a comment you made in the past and was finally ready to fully understand what you had said. I had read it when you posted it, but for some reason it didn't click back then. Maybe because I've been so lost for so long?

I decided to drop in and see how you are doing and I was so proud to see you strip the devil of his power over you. I've very recently come to realize how much I have given to the devil without even knowing it. I've let him steal my joy.

Can I say that I completely understand where you are coming from in sharing this with us. I shared something in a post tonight that I was worried might be misconstrued as well. But you know what I realized? God comes first and if people can't see the miracles in us and our growth in our trust in God because their eyes are clouded in judgement that is for them to deal with, no? If someone attacks us for that, all we can do is give it to God to sort it out. As long as we are doing God's will that is all that matters.

I'm still new to the word but there are two passages I thought of when I read your post... Luke 10:19 and 2 Corinthians 5:17.

And yes, our children are definitely watching us and depending on us to lead the way.


Denise said...

I stand with you sis, love you dearly.

Annette said...

I am so PROUD of stand against evil is never easy but you knew GOD is covering you with his grace & love and that is what made you strong,and I have never thought any less of you for what you believed in, I respected you, and your choices and always will, like any loving parents you where and still are protecting one of the greatest gifts GOD gives people...children. I'm like you, I dont like the evil of this holiday but I taught my children that this is a celebration of fall, for after fall comes new life...does this make sense? I love you and so admire you for standing up to something that had such a strong hold on you.

LOVE TO ALL & Happy celebration of fall~

Older women likewise teach the younger women...

• how to love their husbands
• how to love their children
• how to be self-controlled
• how to be pure
• how to be keepers at home
• how to be kind and submissive (not subservient) to their own husbands. (See Titus 2:3-5)

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By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Words have power. Here are a few of my favorite sayings.

  • A warm cup of tea is like a cuddle with a friend.
  • The North American Indians have a more eloquent word for ‘friend’ than we do in English. In their language, the word for friend literally means, “the one who carries my sorrows on his back.”
  • Return with Honor
  • The sage anticipates things that are difficult while they are easy, and does things that would become great while they are small. All difficult things in the world are sure to arise from a previous state in which they were easy, and all great things from one in which they were small. Therefore the sage, while he never does what is great, is able on that account to accomplish the greatest things."
  • “Live so that when your children hear these words they think of you… Fairness Caring Integrity Honesty Love Trust.”
  • "O Lord help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomarrow I may have to eat them."
  • "No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes"

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Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
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