The Memories of 911 were very personal to me. (a repost from 2007)

Red Square

First Sight December 2001

I took great pause in posting yesterday on that day of dreadful remembrance.
That day, for me, was made a very memorable personal day.
After the start/ stop/ start of the adoption of our son, a match was made on a child who was born that March. At six months of age the children were released from the Russian data bank to anyone who was certified and who wanted to adopt them.
That day I stood there in my kitchen just a short week after we accepted the match of our son who was starving and abandoned in the un-adoptable side of a Russian orphanage. I stood fixed at the kitchen set at the first blow to the towers. I was on the phone to my husband as I gasped at the blow to the second tower. I wept knowing that lives were lost. As I saw the souls leap into eternity, that day, my dreams were possibly going down with them. I had waited 20 years for this son.
I fell to my knees in horror knowing that the world would never be the same and that possibly the little boy half a world away might loose his chance for life as well.
I am sobbing now just remembering this... I knew that God had made a promise to me. I had lived in that promise for most of my adulthood. I saw the promise of so many lives lost that day as I wept, As I weep now.
We were kept on standby as the new President of Russia was changing all the adoption laws. We had poured out financially to our limit and did not know how we could possibly make this happen. It was out of our hands. My husband was in the process of his plant closing and he watched 6000 people loose jobs around him. We never knew if the next day may bring a pink slip for us as well.
My Son was half a world away starving, languishing and I could only pray for him not knowing if he might be as our little Natasha ( an infant we had to turn down, she was far to ill to survive and our Miss Fiction came home to us instead three years prior) will always be, simply a child of my heart never to have a Mother and Father. That child is most likely deceased now.
We watched as our troupes entered the Northern Afghanistan boarders. Our Sons orphanage was only 500 miles as the crow (or bomb) flies. We just prayed for peace in the region. And wept at night and longed for him in my arms. We were having so many things (battles) during those few months. I had to face a Radical Hysterectomy because they could not stop the bleeding I had. The doctors wanted to put me on a type of chemo tho stop my cycle and the internal bleeding. It was an injected rod that would have to be surgically removed if the side effects were to bad.Thank God for Wisdom I said NO> we could not risk being in a third world country with it in me. Only to find out it was Bad stuff that was being used as a lucrative pharmaceutical extortion plot reveled on national T.V. the night before I made the final decision (God kept me safe). They planned surgery for early December. I had a child half a world away and I was about to have my own reproductive system removed form me with empty arms (save that my sweet daughter was in them), yet I could not hold my daughter due to the internal bleeding and several surgeries to remove the adhesions so I could stand up straight. I had end stage endomeitriosis.
The date was set for surgery. A week later We were called as one of the first families to get to fly out internationally. We were at great threat of kidnapping however. We made a trust for our daughter and had to choose. To go get our son out, or be safe and let him go. HE WAS MY/OUR SON!
There are many dangers I can not speak of due to those who travel after. It will not be as doable now the laws changed that spring. We were under the wire by 2 weeks and so we were able to do only the one trip. Since then families have to make two or more trips to adopt.
We got there in great danger we were to not even have our voice heard in public. We screamed "American" just by our dress. But to voice in public could be life threatening. We were in Russia three weeks after the secret service entered the Northern Afghanistan region. We were there just over two weeks without my girl in my arms and a very sick infant who was at risk for retardation and dwarfism.

So 9-11 is a very personal time for me. It reminds me of great loss yet of great hope and promise for the future.

Post script. The day the judge said yes was the day I was to have surgery. It was performed 6 weeks after we got our Son home from Russia. I was post menopausal with a 3 year old with special needs and a 10 month old Who was very ill all with raging hormones.
Our Son recovered from the hypothyroidism 3 years later. and the threat of retardation passed as well as the dwarfism..He has special needs however don't we all :)
Our daughter stayed here in the states with her elder Paternal Grand Parents who risked so much right along with us.
We were able to receive an adoption reimbursed of $6000. from our employer only months before the 25+ year carreer was over.

who are you?

The funniest thing happened to me yesterday afternoon on the way into therapy. There were two gentleman patiently holding the elevator. They said 'don't hurry'. Up we all went to the therapy place on the third floor. One man got off on the second floor.
The elevator opened as he kindly held the door reminding me not to rush. He then disembarked the elevator after me. He turned to me saying 'I suppose we are both going to the same place'?. He extended his hand introducing himself as Hank. In turn I said mine. Then he said the strangest thing...

'Ya, but who are you"?

I kid you not, something just came over me with the echo of. Be ready in and out of season to give answer to give answer. Out my sweet little mouth without thought came...

'I am a daughter of the KING, Wife to but one man for almost 30 years, and I am tenacious!'

He looked at me and then he said...
no, whats your name?  

Laughing I said I told you it was Donetta at the elevator. We entered the offices and my mood was literally aglow.

When this came out of my mouth this energy took me over. I floated like glee into the office. The gregariousness of my personality had returned me after all these many months. Lightness was within my heart.

Another woman asked as I was in the midst of therapy...

'how are you?'

My answer was..
'I'm hurting but I am happy'!

I have just been a chatty Kathy since

On Being a Witness

  

Good Evening

Way back in 2007 an act of kindness placed me in a position to be a witness at a trial against a woman who was DUI crashed only yards from a school buss stop.

At 7 a.m. donning my best attire I dressed and medicated this body of mine with the antibiotics given for bronchitis and sinus infection. That infection only 18 hours earlier was instructed to 'sit and rest' for 48 hours. With the prosecutes office closed yesterday the letter that told me to call the day before was a mute point. So under the threat of arrest so the day began.

Once the car was parked under the court house garage a long walk around the building, then through security the elevator took me to the floor with the prosecutors office on it. After sitting sometime for the attorney had not arrived yet. (mind you I had to arrive at 7:30 a.m.). Once again the trial was postponed. Stunned at the defense tactics to wear out the witnesses we stood slack jawed. This folks is common place. Good witnesses are worn to attitudes of hands in the air.

Why help if this is the course of action when you do?

I will tell you why....

We are called to do what is right. By choice we will see, hear and experience life. We will either be a silent source or a vocal witness of what is truth. We as witnesses to what is holy will be silent or speak. Now mind you what we have to say will be stalled and even halted by the defense of the darkness that wants to be witness free at any cost to what is holy. 

When it is the darkness that bears witness it will be plastered all over the news, papers  and media for all to see. It will then be what we testify of in our daily life, through what we see, say and experience, even if vicariously. It is before our minds blocking out the beauty of the divine.

What the right standing witness will note is that the conviction of our witness will pull in the consequences of those who do evil, error or just plain have wounded minds and hearts.

We are the witness not the jurors or judge. It is not for us to defend or prosecute but to simply testify.

Those who can or do not hear the testimony of our witness to all things Holy will play those roles however. Those who make you prove out your testimony. They defend or prosecute the things witnessed. The jurors will pool and also design a verdict. Often at the mounting evidence before them based in the darkness that would to consume them.

 

At times even biased through eyes that have witness of  a 'where was God when...?'

 Their judgment comes then to them through the bias, wound or plain disbelief. How can any goodness withstand those who testify all of evil and darkness. What they see then is how fallen ALL of man kind must be. A bias of a false truth. For not all of man is in a fallen state. Those who are covered under the jurisdiction of grace remain. Those He has called by name who have not heard yet of HIS name.

Yet to testify based on kindness not a desire to be punitive just might save a life.

I play this a parallel to what is spiritual.

Driving home this morning considering the consistent inconvenience of the postponements of this trial year after year I thought how wherry we can become in doing what is right. The kids were told on scene back then as well as this morning no matter what we do what we know is right to do.

I felt a well of compassion for the defendant. An annoyance at the tactics enacted by the defense to wear us all out (both literally and spiritually figurative). I am the last standing witness of all the police and ER staff. 

Last standing.

Yet I stand.

At threat of incarceration if I do not show up.

The witness under threat.

Isn't this how we are in our testimony in Christ of the things we have witnesses in Him.

We are worn by the defense of error and ignorance.

We grieve when God is blamed as a defendant. We are wishing for mercy on those who suffer.

Worn by the time lines of 'trials' in our own lives, and in the lives of others around us.

Set to consequence if we deny our witness or refuse to do so.

Tempted to attitudes when the guilty get away with their actions when we who are innocent witnesses are forced to have our lives inconvenienced or even threatened.

Then if we do not let it wear us out we become compelled to compassion and base our testimony of the guilty into an intercession on their behalf. Never to waver from the truth witnessed but to do so without malice.

Don your best attire (both internal and out) go out and tell of all that you have seen, heard and witnessed in HIM.

Do so without letting the trials make you give up acquiring a fine in doing so.

It is by the WORD of God and the testimony  our mouth we will overcome evil.

If we do not bear witness it is then we will be under threat by the imprisonment through our own conscience. 

May I always be standing.

Shory Bear (Denise) tagged me for these seven question

I, in turn, will pick 7 bloggers to answer 7 new questions. Here are the 7 questions she asked me:


1. Not counting attending church, what is your favorite activity that you consistently do on Sundays?
We visit the Grandparents , Steve's parents. 

2. At what age, or season in your life, do you feel you looked your best? Today, My face has peace. I look my best not stressed. At any age. It is a matter of my heart. Sure my chin is doubled, my weight is above what it could be. My heart is happy, that is when I look my best.

3. Would you rather win a personal makeover/shopping spree with an image consultant, a one room makeover/shopping spree with an interior designer, or a personal chef who would cater a fabulous meal for a party at your home?
The room make over, we could use a new sofa. I would love a little water feature too. A flat tv would take up less room. Gratitude for what we have makes it not something I pine however.

4. If a movie were made of your life, which actors would portray you, and your husband?
Jessica Tandy , Me. I think of a movie called Fried Green Tomatoes. She was so beautiful, dignified. When I am old I want to have lived a life where my heart did not get hard. Where growing old would be beautiful. Where my children are not embarrassed or ashamed of me. I want to be and example of courage/ Ever a friend of God not a religious pious old woman.
Mathew Roderick Would have to be my choice for Steve. In the movie Glory his heart toward those he lead was one that earned the respect and conviction of those he lead. 

"were all dirty in it, aint one of us clean" said his replacement for the flag bearer.
A flag bearer is the one who holds up the standard it the other fell. It was the extreme act of sacrifice. With hands full there would not be a weapon for self defense.
"I don't know that I be wanted this sir" was his reply
"I know what you mean" said Roderick's character

5. If you had the power to choose one of these, which would it be?
I would be taller.
I would never go gray.
I would always look younger than my age. 

Younger than my age. This is a gift I live with. It helps my children not to have a mom who looks like their grandma.

6. Which of these positive first impressions would you prefer to make?
funny
friendly
confident 

-friendly

7. Pie or Cake? 
Pie, pecan or a berry. Rhubarb is good too.


Now, I pick these 7 bloggers to answer 7 questions: Opps Shorty I answered the first 7 that were for you.

Here are the 7 questions: 
1) What is your favorite book of the Bible? 
Ecclesiastics 

2) Ice cream, or cookies?
Cookies, snicker doodles 

3) Cup half full, or half empty? 
Oh I am a woman cup over flowing.

4)Worst fear? 
That I would fail at raising the children through, dependence to independence and onto interdependence. If I were to fail at raising them with the ability to make wise choices. My desire is that they are empowered to STAND confident in who they have been created to be.

5) Favorite day of the week?
Friday. The family all comes home. Children are relaxed and the shoulders come down. Family movie night and the joy of no school or lunches to awaken to.

6) Favorite Holiday? 
Easter is my very favorite. I saw a vision 32 years ago of a White light through a tunnel opening, hands reaching out to me. It was the day that I rose out of the darkness that was my life and began the journey that freed me some three years later. 
At Easter that day comes alive as did HE

7) Ever been out of the country?
Yes to Russia twice to bring home the children. Once in 1998 to get Dove, and then to get Dash in 2001. Trust me when I say
"we live in the best country on earth.




Goodness I have to go to bed. I'll choose tomorrow. I don't have time to tonight sorry.
Thank you Denise for pulling the writer out of me tonight. Felt real good.

Children and the arts

We have had so much fun this week!
We had art time last evening and this morning. See the kids works  to see kids art click here
Earlier this week my sweet efforts took shape. This was the vision I have had for a year or two. It took a year to remove the rock and dig the arbor garden, fill it and plant the annuals this week. Next week the perennials go in.

 It was a cool morning here and feeling a little punky from a cold a blanket was called for. 

Fall has finally come to my realm. At least for two hours in the morning and then two evening hours at best. This morning however the children asleep refuge was taken here with my life manual.

 Now if the view behind me had it's way my respite would of been disturbed. 

But I held fast.

 Rest is the call of the day. The morning began in the book of Daniel chapter 10. It is a wonderful thing to follow the instinct of my soul. It lead me right where I need to be. To remind me of the hand of love that is upon me.

 The view from my little thrown was really improved from this time last year. The lawn is setting for winter with the rye thrown. This new tip of early toss of seed really helps. I did not want to have dog in dung in house. Manure is the normal way we do it here to cover the seed for warmth. Tossing seed while the Bermuda grass is yet green is suppose to limit the shock of cold on the seedlings.

The same day the patio got a good hosing off. Now if only that grass in the stone boarder was replace with a drainage pipe under grass it would really look great. Too much work for this old gal. Have to pull the hubby into that. Or get rich and hire it done HA. Same under the clothes line, however that needs to get done first I think. It is a real ankle biter when I hang out the laundry. I love to hang out the laundry in my bare feet. Don't know why but it just feels natural. Like I were up in the forest. The forest in in my imagination. See the pine trees and smell the breeze.

The kids are playing and I am resting the bones to go back at it on the morrow I hope. The antibiotics are working the wonders. The chest pressure is receding thank the Lord. Hay I made it four months. This was pretty minor too from what history has told.
Please pray for the nation those who morn and toss, turn into despair for the wages lost. Those who suffer the hardships that follow the desperation of a nation.
I sit here blessed, prosperous. Abundant in life with the love of my little family. Favor of my God, and the kindness of friendships forged.
Be blessed ya all. Be blesses and see it. See it all that is done for you. That goes before you. We will go on in our days knowing it will not befall us to be without that love forging a way through the darkness into the light of day.

Tis' a gift to be simple tis' a gift to be free.

 

Click on image to purchase

Good morning
This day was full of family chores and tasks. Lawn seed planted while children cleaned the dung up and hubby turned the compost. Now after a full family breakfast I rest a while. Thinking about some of my old post I got to reading them. This old post reminded me of things I wanted to hear myself. So here is a partial re post.
I hope you enjoy.

I am going to do my best to explain the things I am learning and just hope that folk don't misunderstand and think I am far from God.

Oh No we are just walking this thing out together.

Gods ways are higher than ours.

I have lived with some pretty non scriptural religious ideas of what I should be like or able to do.

Lord knows I did my very best to follow those ideas to the letter, trying to be a good believer.

Those Pharisee things that just don't much lift a finger to help really.

They become more of a thumb pressing down to keep you in check all the while that heart of yours is saying I'm a faking it tell I make it...I must be doing something wrong is the lie.

NO maybe ya just need some practical help to understand what stops your ability to do so.

It is my hope that the honesty and transparency will remove stigmas and assumptions from the "church" community as to what it might look like to become.

It is not by pure belief

WE HAVE TO WORK IT OUT FOLKS

Now if your working it out and ya think that folks...

other believers, might think your faith weak or less than do not let that stop you.

There are so many who lift that finger and add the hand reaching out to lift ya up.

You who do not know Christ

know this His love is not like those rulers who set lots of rules on folks and then sit back and condemn them when they do not think or pray or believe themselves out of their chains.

Loving Christians truly do add a heart not only full of prayer but also practical solutions that just perhaps nobody ever bothered to tell ya.

You speak up ask and if there is any shame placed on ya for doing so Dear Hearts just you shake it off.

His peace is within the storm.

This life is a storm that only He can calm the waters of.

When your strength gains up and the next gale blows know you did not cause it, there is a battle going on.

It has been against you from your first breadth, Satan-evil-darkness- the war began a long time before the beginning of time as we know it.

God wins, that's the good news the hard news is that you been on one side or the other.

Those folks who raised you were one one side or the other.

Even when on Gods side the trickster can so easily circumvent lives by simply twisting truth, lying so folk don't even know whats right from wrong.

So many casualties of childhood walking around in grown bodies just really trying to make folks proud.

Can't even find a safe place to risk being humble.

Left not even knowing who they were intended to be.

Feeling like you just really never belonged anywhere.

Stumbling at every mission you set your heart too because your wounds sabotage your efforts.

Leaving you feeling incompetent at life.

That is the intent, the mortal wound.

Hope this is always a safe place to be...

Hope that you can be yourself, unashamed, unabashed, true heart even if wrong willing to turn round right and come on down to where ya ought to be.

I am becoming free from battle scares of my childhood.

That does not make me a victim, a weak unbelieving Christian but a warrior for Christ.

tis' a gift to be simple tis' a gift to be free

tis' a gift to climb down where we ought to be

and when we find ourselves in the place just right

twill be in the valley of love and delight

ya know...?

Word Filled Wednesday

Click to enlarge

It says

"I did not find any hearts. I am sad for the squid for it did not know how to love.

LOL (crys)

Dove and her 6th grade class had a special science unit after school last week. This is her synopsis. Read the paragraph about the hearts. By the way squid have three hearts hers did not have any.

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.
Isaiah 11:6

Thankful Thursday

The radish are up

This year is my year to have flowers for the gardens.

To my sweet delight there was a woman who did a seed exchange with me.

She wanted food seed, she had flowers to trade. 

This is the collection she sent me

In this quiet time of days finding joy in the living seed is a rest for my soul.

I am happiest when studying, looking at and or planting seed.

The plots are almost all turned now.

The peas (sugar snap) are reaching out for the delight of day.

Here are bachelor buttons below

Two days ago the sky was a blaze yet in an instant it was less so. It passed so quickly. So I find looking out and up has the instant moments that can not be replayed.
Thankkful for that I am slowed to let them come. I am so blessed. God loves me. Me. HE loves you, and knowing this creates in me a love toward you as well.
This amazing blog has languished a bit.
Maybe there is more wisdom in silence at times.When a mouse sneaks into a home it can be unseen but you will know when it is there. One must be stealth to capture and relocate it.
I never did like kill traps. So stealth I sit. Silent watching. I have lost the ability to leave anything out on the counter so to speak. It might just get spoiled.
Pearls well as a jeweler you can tell a real pearl by rubbing it on your teeth. Once you understand it  you will never be able to be confused by a fraud again. You will ever know the real pearl.

I am so disappointed and so discouraged that my absence is so pronounced. So many things have occurred in the last several months that I really do not feel like my old self. Sorrow and apathy have gripped me. Where did my heart go?

Thankfully HE knows where I am and He knows who I am. HE knows where I am going.

How to manage our economic crisis

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There is a nation before us straining at the knee. Panicked, desperate caught up in a web of deceit. Sold a bill of goods, mortgages that they could never afford. Snakes laid waist to the grass. As they ate up the lawns that were once greener. All for the lucre to be gained.
Infectious disease across this nation spread.
Jobs lost plates emptied of greed.
Yet here we stand a clouded sky chocked by fear. Wondering if God is really near

Could this nation of yet avoided the justice due. The equity of consumption, debt and this great country in need.
The hand out to the many all masses every creed. All consumed us when our example was pure greed.

Leader with agendas to take our right name. Defame and misuse it America once was freed. Those forefathers and mothers who sacrificed all. Generation repeated just no more .

To hear the echos of souls cry out in the street. Our lives lay now in ruin, contagious dread.

So on bended knee let us set aside all of the pretense self righteous pride and greed. Now by force we are faced with the truth. We succeeded to  accomplish America leaning toward a bended knee.


If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.   2 Chronicles 7:14

Fear closed minds

Hello My Dear Friends.
Lately my soul is pulled back within me trying to regroup around the house. See the things here are yet getting caught up after a year or two of illness setting me back. The master bedroom and bathroom have received a detailed decor rearrangement. The Feng Shui study of decor design has fascinated me for some time. I needed a study to burn off some mental energy and this hit the spot giving me some direction. The peaceful applications have made a HUGE difference here. With a mind that thirst for knowledge I have devoured the basic understanding. It is a blast!

This house sits almost perfect on the directional chart. Knowing of course that this may be an offense to some I have hushed it. I find that an open mind is a hard thing to find in church circles. The fear of the very elect being deceived is a blinding force that short changes us in this life time. I know of whom I belong. I love the passage about being ready in and out of season to give answer to what you believe in. Being ready removes the fear of the snake in the grass. So if the soil is sound and the grass nurtured just know that you will see if there is anything amiss. God would not allow it to slip our recognition.

That being said, truly Anglo Saxon Christianity is limited as well in this. We are told of man and tradition of what to think and speak to one another in such a way one might simply become silent to the joy's of life. This is not the act of God but of the thief of love. I have thought a lot of the indigenous peoples way of life being stripped in the name of Christianity. It must just make the prophets of old just roll over in their tombs. It just must make Abba curl up in sorrow to weep. The sweet name of Jesus being one again, as in the times of Israel, becoming a mockery to the masses who only see the limited view of the few. All the folk that might be willing to come into the fold if they just were not forced to sheer all of who and what they have known. If God is the creator of ALL then where can anyone of us get off rejecting without even understanding that a good soul might just be in that water we toss out.

All this to just be able to share the JOY of direction in reassembling this home after the attempted move of last year or so. Now It is so calm and serene. The rooms are much less cluttered. More color coordinated. The elements of earth wind fire metal balanced. Could it be that in the name of my sweet Christ Jesus that I would be so arrogant to walk into China or Tibet and tell them that the wisdom of old they have used to govern humility and character in their lives was all wrong just because our understanding be limited.  I remember dear Leslie who fed my hungry belly the avocado before she set that Bible in my lap. Suppose she would of made me eat something hard to swallow would I not of gagged on the word?

As an undiscovered Native American until my early 30's it was startling that over night literally, I was treated totally differently. One day a white woman embraced the next treated as a second class. It was a terrific gift to have discovered this. Since then my heart has kept in check to never refuse another culture and assume it evil just because it was strange or new to me. Suppose it is interesting to me that those experience of white woman turned second class and looked upon as a slide slipping downward slope. To understand now that to be raised up one must lower them self. That slide was a gift. Noses sloped are now a grief to me and not humiliation. It is such a pity when eye to eye we miss the wonder and the beauty of each culture. Each soul with all of the experiences and knowledge that is a vital part of understanding how to love.

So for the sake of dignity and self appreciation I declare! I love the wonder of Feng Shui. Now I am not fond of a into the mystic aspects but the color is awesome.
I am having a ball! My home is looking so awesome. My mind is thinking strongly. Ideas flowing, solutions resolved by and through relaxed reflection.

Open your mind. Simply know what you believe. Filter it with that, not rejecting out of fear. Fear is a torment. As is loneliness the greatest torture the human kind can ever know.  If you pull away from main stream Christianity it does not in any way make you less of a believer, a Christian. It is the fear reacted too, that makes Christianity so negative to those who so need to be drawn in.  Scriptures misused in such a way to exclude those who might think and respond to life differently than we do are being used to divide.

The enemy just loves to divide to concur.

Never let that happen.

Spiritual Sunday

  Last night as we were making our bed after a full long day of wonderful accomplishments we sat in front of the open window as an unexpected monsoon storm dumped two inches.

Well by 11:30 it slowed as we, relaxed and refreshed by almost an hour in the calm of the storm. We then went in to go to bed. We had to make the bed first for I had laundered the sheets and they were awaiting us in the dryer. Not three minutes after we entered the bedroom we heard a strange noise from the master bath.

Now mind you we had just interred the master suite. 

We were each holding a side of the sheet as we were spreading it out.  Comes bed time at 11:30 p.m. (yes we are bone heads) and another task presented itself. So entered the closet Steve was astonished to find the closet light fixture hanging from the ceiling by a wire or two. Within a two minute time span (just in time) he was on the ladder securing it to the shelf before it arced and pulled self apart at the
connection. 

The ceiling was wet!

Funny though to every storm there is a silver lining.

Only a moment later...

I went to the rest room where upon a shriek of pain ... 

an unexpected UTI can you say och!

After I held my low tummy while showering, I went into the computer while he showered. There I learned a lot about UTI"s and looked into the medication cupboard. I knew we had a RX for an antibiotic that hit me bad some time back when I had phenomena.

Folks it was the EXACT one I needed as per the many things I read! 

So knowing Sunday would last long in pain I took it. By 2 a.m. up and was up all night. Drinking and reliving myself the bacteria so painfully attacking me.

By morning I WON!

Had a wonderful time visiting many of you.

So this morning on our day of rest we found our self's with several more tasks to do.  My husband and I are pure through and through do it yourself folks. So up onto the roof he went.

Pulled several tile. 

HE found the exact spot

that the tile were leaking, or better  said the slat under it. Stupid roof design just moronic!  HE tared and designed a drain line so that the water would not gather behind the wooden slat.

 It was just 6 a.m. Somehow his alarm went off unexpectedly and he found me sitting here. I was so happy to be able to go get dressed and go out to enjoy the cool (all things relative) of the morning.
So off to the garden to tend to the long neglected earth. Summers here have a way of that until fall.

By the end of the morning we turned the back porch from this mess 

to this joy

After a good hose off with my new hose real so hand it was sweet. We both found ourselves resting and enjoying a few nice sweaty moments together. We reviewed the tasks accomplished independently. 

The sink that fellow gave me was perfect here and the dogs are now in house so the dog house is gone.
Steve got a new 6 foot hose to fix the real that was given to me. He could only buy a 6ft one. Way too long but perfect for the sink and the sink...had the perfect two foot hose for the real.

This is going to be great for hand wash and for the garden harvest we look so forward too. No more soil in the kitchen sink. No more mud to wipe off the counters. My back will not even have to suffer bending down to wash off the produce.

Now speaking of the gardening.

I know where in the heavens all this energy. 

Little man Dash found me in the garden laying straw on the path. You know boys have to climb and hide gnomes . 

Gotta have a gnome hunt.

I sorted out the wood stakes and fulfilled an idea from last year.

See how I use the straw for a path. Over the fall it breaks down nicely. Keeps the mud off the feet and shoes. Steve removed my improvised tomato stakes. ie the old trellis. Love that thing but to weld it we would have to buy a gas tank to wield it and do a lot of work on it. I let it go. Craigs list here it comes.

Look at the water tank good lesson here. Even though it was full it kept filling in the rain and popped its frame. You can click to enlarge. So I let a good 200 liters go. The new hose that fellow gave me was laid under the straw path to the back of the garden where the new compost will be set up.

Now last year I felt a bit of whimsy when I saw the bed frames for free. 

I love it!

I made my bed

covered my tracks

Har har

Even has flowers on it.

:)

Gotta lie down (sow) some seed on it over the next few weeks.

My last knee injections are next Thursday followed by the next infusion the following Tuesday.
Boy howdy just try and hold me down.
I am so full of energy and zest for living.

Was studying Ecclesiastes last week.

Ya know it is in the tasks at our hands to find pleasure that this life is all about.

To Love others and learn to better love our own self.

So this weekend I have found much pleasure at the work of my hands.

All else is just vanity.

van·i·ty

 /ˈvænɪti/ Show Spelled [van-i-tee] Show IPA noun, plural -ties, adjective

–noun

1.

excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit: Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity.

2.

an instance or display of this quality or feeling.

3.

something about which one is vain.

4.

lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness: the vanity of a selfish life.

5.

something worthless, trivial, or pointless.

I found this one personally interesting. 

Its what we all do ya know.

Our blogs.

11.

produced as a showcase for one's own talents, esp. as a writer, actor, singer, or composer: a vanity production.

Fearless Friday

 

 Today I could sure use your prayers and thankful hearts for I know I am blessed. Every trial is a blessing and a gift to gain a greater capacity to love my self so that maturity to be able to love others likewise might develop.I know this .Praise is coming hard when pain and sorrow come to challenge me.  I saw a shooting star this morning. It had been my prayer to get to see the meteor shower. At 5 a.m. I awoke and thought to get outside. No easy task for I can barley walk.I was standing out in the grass. Felt so wobbly and my lab kept leaning on me and doing my best to steady myself I stood and watched.  You see even in that moment I knew that it was that my desire was heard and I awoke in time to see one last shooting star before the dawn. 
but...I sat on the sofa and nodded off for a very few moments to a dog (the golden) barking at the doggy door too unwilling to push the flap. I had to get up twice and by then I was angry, pained so that it frustrated me. I did not want the dogs to disturb my beloveds last few minutes of sleep.
Counting it all joy has not meant being happy, or unafraid, or not even being angry. I know I am so blessed to have the interventions of all these needles piercing my body. I know that there are so so many who suffer, truly suffer daily with the bones that hold us in this rheum.In this gratitude I am sad not really feeling sorry for myself but sad for my family, children my beloved husband. He stands beside me watched me cringe as needles once again caused a pain before the gain. I am told by a relative that it is to be stoic a matter of not entering into self indulgence. Yet I am not a woman of masks. As ugly as it might be freely said this is lonely.I know I am not alone.
This morning unable to help the kids much even in that I can see that independence is a good thing for them. Thinking though of life in their shoes so to speak again sorrow touched me. Counting it in all things that God is for me, us.  It is coming harder today as I sit here. Sit and enjoy a cool home, a full belly and the privilege of a nice computer and those who are around me both physical and in the midst of the shadows surrounding me. 
It is that my heart desires to hold fast to gratitude and praise fondly embracing He who is embracing me. I want to cry I want to be sad yet I do not. The suffering around the world is fierce and tremendous. This my meager pains pale but yet they are mine to experience. Just sorta wish they were not.
Please stand with me as it is my heart not to crumble but to stand within my heart for this is only a tempary pain. This whole of life is only temparary. I wish it could be longer than that. That time were a vacant threat. Children grow so quickly.
Today my son said..."I wonder what heaven looks like"?
"it is I believe not only a place to go but a place within me" was my reply.Please support me in this that the place within me remains a heaven in His presence as I struggle to simply abide.