Being a Parent

This is hard stuff being a parent. Asking over and over to confirm my dear birds had water was not enough I must now check every day that the tasks are done. I normally do, being sick lately the fatigue has cause me to have to let go more. I do feel so terrible that I thought Dove would handle her task. Diligence diligence diligence this parenting stuff is hard.

5 A.M. saw be awake and in the yard and garden. Watering in my pajamas for the house was still. Breathing was not to fun so instead of sitting reclined I just got up and went outside. The ball thrown for the dogs and the coop top cleaned with new shavings...
Hearts meeting with my dogs just loving on them. Finally the sweet Lab (no name for safety) is calmed. We are trying to be the first at the door of the humane society for a voucher to snip him. The cost will go down from $250 to $85 for it. I am not going to breed him and his libido is out of the park. This is  to mellow him and perhaps stop the leg lifting on the wall. Then the dogs can be house dogs again.
I just got to be the first on at the door at 7 a.m. with kids in tow or Daddy man to cover me.

 I am left thinking your feeling may be of me doing the pet thing wrong. This parenting thing is hard. Dash did so well and tended to task sometimes it is hard to remember that Dove is a different child and has some special considerations. She is 12 on one day and 6 on another oh I am so to blame yes...Even though I asked twice my instincts should have been listened too.
This parenting stuff is hard.

Prissy Passed

Today we returned home from an outing to pick up our car from service only to have Dash running in to cry out loud that prissy was dead. As we all ran to the coop to see...well it was an awful thing. Dove has recently been placed in charge of the animals replacing Dash for this duty by mutual consent.

"Dove did you give the girls water?"
"yes Mom"

A dog bowl was there with water...
Later at bed. Ashureing her that birds can be blind to water if not placed within their container she opend up to truth...

"mom they did not have water, I never gave it them. I don't want to care for the animals anymore"
"I forgive you if truth becomes your way then Prissy would not have given up her life without purpose."

Dash calls to me...
In his covers I tell him of what had happend...
"Mom, I knew she didn't water them"
"That must be a hard thing to know"
"I want my job back"

Dear Prissy My best laying hen rest her soul. To think of all of those birds in a prison of a coop thirsting without water...so much that my sweet girl (Miss Prissy) passed. Oh Lord the pain of my children pale it so. Yet my Prissy has died and all the girls suffered. So Sad.

take care of the living

focus...up...take care of the living.
Angie 's teaching up water on washed my face hot towel. focused take care of the living
toast and lunch for the kids they are off to school
take care of the living huu ahh!
Gods not dead he is alive Gods not dead He is alive Gods not dead He is alive I feel Him all over me.

a bit of a crushing in my chest it is sorrow
sorrow for the living not the dead for she lives in God she is only on the other side of the Vail.

take care of the living pulled my frame up onto the side of the bed. press on into taking care of the living.
doing so today
refrigerator cleared of old left overs, the living need me to shop for foods...do I feel like it it matters not or little to it for it is for me to press through to
take care of the living.
my tree needs water
the garden tending
the dogs need attention
the chickens too
dishwasher is mucky with the minerals so vinegar is running through it before I do a load.

I breath take care of self coffee made sits beside me. my keys at my hand open my heart and my mind to process and reach out.
The gift of loneliness is reaching out.
Paint clothes on I must tend to the living to get Dove along the way into her room begin her transition to sleep on her own again., She needs the normalcy soon. I must press on and through
care for the living
life is here awaiting us
He is alive
live
breath
heal

i just said good bye

my niece held it to her ear
i told her how grateful and privileged i felt to of walked this path with her. i thank her for coming forward so many years ago and  that she saved my life. I told her how i know it said that those who go on before stand at the right hand of God ever interceding for us and thanked her in advance for doing so.
i told her i loved her

she had been brought out of sedation and she could hear me but not speak
her daughter said she had to hang up and go to comfort her.

I am so sad and my eyes are pooling a river though the woods
she is going home within moments.

icu it is time to go home

Today my Sweet Sister Midge was put on a ventilator...she has a DNR order so my niece will be removing it after the grandsons see her and say goodbye. My niece is in the conference room at this very moment. She will be holding the phone to Midges ear so I can say goodbye to her. I know that she has peace.
I received the call while I was out.

On the drive home a saw a hawk...it was souring over a field. The song and lyrics came to me."humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will life you up, up unto heaven."

I sat there at a very long light until the hawk had made his way high up into the updrafts.

I drove farther and as I turned down my little short cut...a hawk flew straight toward me along the roadway and lighted on a pole above me, There was no traffic and I stopped in the middle of the road. Rolled down my window mot 12 feet below him. I said "hi beautiful" and he flew off into the trees.

She said goodbye, The sweet Spirit said it is as it should be. To let her go and to take inspiration from her friendship and her life.

my big sister will die today  to arise with Him up into Heaven.
Good bye Midge my friend I love you...
i am sad but peace has it's way with me. I grieve for the living that have not peace. For my niece she too has peace and I rejoice in that

Saturday repose.

 

 Yesterday I sewed all day.

It was so nice.

Above are the dinner napkins for Christmas Dinner

 

 I am doing a tea for us 5 core friends.

We have met together for 10? years at least four to five times a year.

This year it will be a Christmas tea at my house.

They turned out little purses.

Lace edged when opened.

I'll do a tutorial over at "A Place To Create"

Today we had the funeral for a Dear Man

Mr Joe Labriola

My SILove did a wonderful job speaking of her father and telling us about the dreams of so many a man who he prayed a quick prayer with as they died in his arms there on the beach of Normandy 

A Medic on the island of Okinawan in the invasion.

An American Hero.

A husband of one, whose wife passed this time of year four years ago.

Father of two daughter and two grand daughters.

He will be missed.

We all went out to lunch on his behalf and saluted the man.

Please remember the family in you prayers.

The sisters have just become the elders.

I came home and slept and hour and then we had a play date for an over night of a new child into our home. They go to school together she is also an adopted child. I think because we are adoptive parents it is often just assumed we are safe because we have gone through all the background checks and home studies..

I am known at the school and so I think that ease is afforded but it still astounds me.

I opened the door and the child was just standing there the mother just dropped her at the curb and drove off.

They have all played well together and are readying for bed.

 

 I harvested 4 pickling cucumbers and so my first time making pickles!

It was pretty easy.

It was a five minute bath and all three jars sealed ya!

They are sliced dills.

Almost burned the Santa cake.

Dash wanted a Santa for adoption day tomorrow.

 

 Hard crack candy was something of my youth that I held in fond remembrance. I wanted to repeat that old time feeling. I would make this when I came home from school. I am stunned that my mom let me do this it is pretty dangerous. I have cooked and baked and made candy from as early as 5th grade. That's around 10 or so. Almost always unattended. It must of been when I was able to see my mom was during the dinner breaks.

 

Watermelon has yet to be cut

 

 The grape and the raspberry set these will be gifts for neighbors.

I had a dud with some lemon oil was nasty!

So I still have another batch to make to finished the job.

However my bones are done for the day.

 

This has been a full day.

Dash's Adoption Day is tomorrow 7 years home to us.

We came home from Russia on the 13 th of December with our little Christmas Boy.

I need to decorate this in the morning the Lady is tired :)

 Some comment answers if I can recall them
No dash has blue eyes unlike Dove little miss Golden eyes.
I cant think or remember another question that was out there.
I do hope to do a better job keeping up with this blog and the others.
We have a new photo system and I dislike the hassle of it and it is time consuming as well.

A hoilday funeral tomorrow

Please pray for my Sister in Law and her sister.

Their father was found by her sister.

They had taken him to the ER the night before and they released him saying his complain was of no concern.

The girls took him back to his facility to his apartment.

When she went to him first thing in the morning he was found dead on the floor.

Needless to say these two sister have a hard painful time.

Their mother past away only a year or two ago at Christmas.

My sister in law has her birthday on December 25 th, Her sister on December 31.

Please please remember them.

I went and got a little suit for my son and a nice outfit for Dove.

Just home now.

I have not spoken much of this but my right knee is not responding as of yet to treatment.

Two pain pills in me now so relief is coming.

Wal-mart walk is long.

A hoodie jacket for Dash given to him just before the door failed as he zipped it and we had to walk all the way back to the boys department to exchange it.

Before the Wal-mart Costco was paid a visit for the Christmas ham.

I went there to get some white roses.

It has always been my tradition to give a single white rose at funerals.

I will tie ribbons on them for the two Ladies and the two nieces.

Hello to all of you sweet dear hearts that left comments.

I worked all day on a sewing project.

I'll show you soon.

Napkin sets for the Christmas meal and a set for the Formal Tea I am giving my little core group of five sisters in Christ. We meet for each others birthdays throughout the year.

Spiritual Sunday

here

At Last it is mid afternoon and I have come here to be with you.

Each season of new beginnings offer us a chance to come away
to begin anew.

This afternoon everything is new here on my machine.
With all the efforts of my Wonderful Talented Man still it is "new".

Each day is new.

At first all this newness was just better than nothing...
Then it all became a bit of an annoyance...
Settling into a grateful...be patient...
let it takes it's time...chomping at the bit...
sorta wait and see what all is in store.

At the loss of the old
will be found a flurry of emote.

It was in that flurry of emote...five minutes before we were out the door (to the funeral) that I kicked a drawer closed only to slip off the wood and have my big toe say
"hello, boy howdy"!
to the razor sharp edge of the glide under the drawer.
As the saying goes "like a stuck pig!"

Calling for Steve to come help I did my best to get across the bedroom carpet
before turning the rose colored carpet a very living blood red!...

This fine Saturday found me not only without my computer,
but at a funeral without the presence of a family patriarch.
One who lived just long enough that it was known by him to be HIS time to move on.
However even when change comes in OUR time
it will often have an effect on "times"
of those who step around us.
They must walk it on their own.

Such the case at the of memorial service.

Hobbled I across the desert cobbled with stone to find me a seat.

The service was in the low desert.
Where the path our Uncle was trod many a day
with many a soul and several a child,
son/daughter both his own and those who were in/law.
He traveled those washes with many
...even Grandchildren I think I heard.
Those who were friend to his own children learned the camp fire
and the hunt
some remembering him to even never of pulled the trigger of his gun
only to set at the fire
the silent sage of an open accepting ear.

He was an American Hero of the WWII era, 82 at his end.
A silent man who spoke volumes to me as over the years I kept eye on him across the crowd at family function.
His Eldest son spoke his story.
He expressed with pride the struggle of Dear Old Uncle Clyde.
One made of shame of his Comanche heritage.
He was born and raised a native Arizonan.
Then even with a stronger sound voiced of smashing shame
the man said..."and of some negro blood in their history as well".
This was shadowed...a family that must have found great rejection from others.
How awful to love and long to be loved only to know that the color of ones heritage colored the views of others... peppering the beauty of that love due.
It is often in our trial that our strength is gained.
He was proud of his pa.
His Pa had a way of making a man proud through his unconditional love.
This a legacy spoken over and over.
For after the eldest son spoke others told of what was on their hearts.

His wife asked of me please,
to tell of what I had said to her of his silent wisdom.


Of how much I had gained.
So it was I who broke that awkward silence.
When asked of the assembly if any had something of heart to speak.
Funny thing for her to ask of me
please to speak.

I wore my feathers in honor of Clyde for I always felt I could be at ease to be me around him.

For I think I might have been silent in the mass
For I am from a bit of a distanced family corner.

Although we had set arrangements ahead of time for a mom and her child to come over,
we were compelled to attend the assembly of family at Clyde's welcoming home.
He was the heart of a farmer.
Story told of chicken laid egg in his lap.
Funny it is that I too had this with my own hen and understand that safe place we provide.
Now Clyde was a man who I suspect was judged also of his faith by others.
Seeing though the love hearing the testimony of his son I know otherwise.
Clyde lived his faith in the love showed to those who might otherwise be excused as perhaps...unlovely.
Over and over testimony of those who said so...
Many so softly as if to give voice to it was painful ...
Uncle Clyde loved.

At the service spoken out was the relief of a distanced broken Christian.
Of how he felt so much better to have come to have known at Clyde's Death that he believed in Jesus as Lord.
How it hurt to hear such devastatingly hurtful explanatory divisive word exposed..
From the heart the mouth speaks.

Yet be it so many a man responds absent to another out of presuppositions.
Divided by dogma and judgments.
Death come too late for it to be known that error of holiness false.
Boundary by need of character or behaviors is one thing...
That ploy of the darkness that can work its way into our midst and remove love of a sister or a brother and replace it with tolerance and defamation.
Letting that stop our fellowship among the land of the living.
Not that I have been immune but have been made more aware.

The plans of our day were fluid.

After the desert time many came to be at the widows home to repose,

comfort one an other and continue to live.
He who passed was yet apparent in the atmosphere that circled that welcoming table.
My little family the only show from Widows side stood were there for her.
It was a pronounced absence for all around us were those who knew each other well.
Though some were silently distanced...
perhaps in their wound,
yet they were there.
This impressed me as Clyde lived on here in this home.
In that circle that went on four generations around us.


One of his son who at service silenced his voice when over spoken...
returned to the home sometime later.
His heart hurt that his word was left unsaid.
This man at that instant was imprinted upon me for I saw the hurt occur.
It hit him HARD!
Came I up to him placed my hand on his heart and said I
"I saw it, hurt you"...
Said he "you saw?" ...
"yes" said I.
With great swell of throat choked he...
"thank you for seeing me"

Telling him he mattered...
he assured me he would say his words.
He promised not to let silent the soul.
For he must be heard that bitterness the loss of opportunity would haunt him.
Telling him I know of this torment, wished it not for him to have the rest of his days.
He promised to speak it to the widow his mother before the days end.
He embraced me and thanked me softened by kindness.
He then was across the room with darkened sunglasses on
anger gone from his countenance was replaced with appropriate sorrow.


Now it was that I found embraced by Clydes eldest son told
"Donetta, you belong...you will always belong here with our family"
Oh my how deeply was I touched...
Our Dear Widowed Aunt did say of fondness to me...she reads my blog.
She told me that from time of her girlhood she has read as a voracious reader
that I am a good writer.
To write said she.

I told many of how it has been made known to me through so so many a death I have known...
"Those who go on before us, stand at the right hand of God ever interceding for us both day and night"

This has been of great comfort to me.
It is always of my hope it might comfort another.


Each season of new beginnings offer us a chance to come away
to begin anew.




A child began a new this morning here in our home.

With the mutual support.
The respect, trust in me... a mother gave chance for a child to overcome.
A sweet little girl who so longed to be free.
The torment she suffered as PTSD stopped her in her tracks.
Understanding how it is to live breath with stifled breadth I had wisdom to offer.
This little one was empowered last night to speak her voice to ask for met need to overcome.
I gave her my late night offering up a chance for her to be successful.
She had known abuse fear from those who had once kept her.
She told of how her fear rooted by a voice in a hall demanding
"GO TO SLEEP!"
When once of necessity sh was away from her mothers care.
We used care to give her an ice block to keep her present and in control of her senses.
We used nature sounds and lights.
While watching my show I left sound up a bit.

She awoke this fine morn to Dash
"Wake up! You did it! you did it!"
A little child with a new name.
Dove was so happy for her friend to be made free of the fear that tied her up into literal tummy knots.
A child now who knows that she will... and is being made able.
She stood with our hands holding her up.
She now sees herself more for who she really is.
Not the fear of what she thought she had become...unable.

It is in life's new beginnings that LOVE is made power and the power of Love is made able to transform.

In the garden

The three children joined me in the garden.
We worked a team for a while.
They chopped the dirt clods for me.
They then were set to task of finding little insects in the straw pile.
They were then set to give them to the hens, they then understood another beginning.
Seasons, for every living thing.
The hens lay egg more after the good protein of the rolly pollies.
At first a tad bit gross but then they understood.
It gave then tenderness toward the birds that it filled their belly their need.
The insects caught laid down the life to the bird , the bird then made way gave laying it's own life down to egg for us to eat.

Later in the morning another new beginning

All the while the efforts to restore this Machine
(I pour myself into)
were painstakingly made by my dear husband.

Dash came home to me with a phone number last week.
His heart was to offer friendship to a pal in his class.
As is my custom his lovely Mother came to visit the morn as the boys played.
It is so good to know the Mother of a child.
If a child is in my care I want to understand the parent of said child.
Caring for someone else s child to me is a great responsibility not taken lightly.

A wonderful woman came and we really hit it off.
She was adopted, so many of my found new friendships often have this common ground.
We all had meal together and this sweet busy single mom got to rocking the rocking chair while lunch was made and she left a bit more rested then when she came.

I took the Mother to the gardens and showed her the efforts being made.
Told her of the insects gathered and the hens.
Had her gather with her hand the egg that we had gift of from the hen.
Her hand tender and a bit fearful of holding the egg...so I left that egg in her hand as we were speaking of decor and walking and talking together. Then it relaxed as I told her that the egg was hers. That it was for her to eat the egg she had taken from the hutch. I saw then in a moment a kindred spirit in her soft eye. She touched a bit excited at the chance. She then was told only to her did it belong for her meal.
To enjoy.

New beginnings often take reaching out...
Getting out of the comforts of pulling away or within ones self...
We extend then receive often much more than we even give.
Each season of new beginnings offer us a chance to come away
to begin anew.