A day with my pre teen dayghter (Agile Archer)

Oh what A pure joy it is to have a daughter. Dove Now known as Archer was so much fun yesterday. She is 12 now as you may know.
Yesterday the Daddy Man had an impromptu birthday event to take the Dash Man to.
I had My ASG (American Sewing Guild) meeting to attend. So Archer without option attended with me much to her chagrin. She did not want to go and made it quite clear. As I had also made clear to her that this time she was without option and would be attending with me. She was NOT happy about is and shuffled her way to the car with her CD player in hand.
Once in car I thought to enter into her realm by asking her if we could put her music in the car stereo. She perked up and gave me the CD. It was the Jonas Brothers of course:)

I thought as I listened to the music of those days when music spoke for me in my youth and listened carefully to the lyrics. As we drove along making comment (positive) about the songs and what I liked we began to bond. An ease took over the air as we made our way to my meeting. She began to chill out a bit. So even though as we parked and began to get out of the car her refusal was voiced...I continues to go into the sewing store. She kept saying how she HATED sewing! Alright I told her but then asked her to try to at least be respectful and behave as to not to embarrass herself.

Oh her sweet little face looked all crinkled up and not one bit pleased oh so evident did she make it to all that she was disgruntled.
She began to play with my camera...

As you can see it kept her well entertained.
She took pictures of the items at the show and tell. The camera kept her entertained.
It is at times like these that I remember her Special Needs to be able to let her meet her own needs and to comfort her own self. We were in the very back row and she was not disruptive.

After our ASG meeting we got out the door and she brightened up! She was so beautiful and proud of herself for making it through the meeting. Of course a tootsie roll sucker from her Auntie helped immensely.

I took her to Mc D. and we had a grown up lunch (no happy meal now) "toys are a waist of your money mom" she said. We ate and she opened up to tell me of her experiences in school and with friendships. It was dear and a beginning to her ease.
We drove over to a shoe store...it was only in the high 70's! So pretty and I was able to be out with her. We tried on shoes and she shared her tastes. She was really transparent. She and I bought nothing then went on to another store. We spoke about all the shops that had closed down and how empty the parking lots were of shoppers. We went to the second store and tried on shoes.

She is now in the smallest of woman's shoes or the largest of kids shoes. She tried on all sorts of shoes and the persona that goes with them it was fascinating! She tried on spikes and we spoke of the women who dance for men and the lack of self worth they must have to do so...and how bad their feet must hurt. Every flat we could find hat what my sister calls toe cleavage. YUCK! as Archer said. She had her arrow set for what she felt exampled her own character. Nothing she could find. So we went to the third store. Again Nothing! The wheels tuning all the while as she tried on the persona of shoe after shoe. We were relaxed. Laughed and spoke about how nothing she liked and by the hand she took me and out the door we went empty handed store after store. If it was not what she liked than she did not want the money to get waisted on it. Gotta love that mentality. It took some work to foster it.

We went back to the first store near our car, but we stopped at a beauty supply store. I had her look through the brushes (my brush is used by her daily) she learned of boars hair bristle and tried several and decided on the one she best liked. It was so cute! She looked at the nail polish and spoke of how she might like to use black...asking for my thought s I told her I had a little issue with it for it is as death. It sorta bothered me. She then asked what if every other blue black well that was good compromising but still I was iffy on it and that I thought it was sorta creepy. The clerk GAVE me a $26. bag? still sorta trying to figure that one out. The shampoo and rinse I buy in bulk perhaps that was a deal they had going. I gave Dove/Archer the bag and she was so happy. We spoke about Goth and she told me how she felt about it. I LISTENED...then I agreed and shared a few feeling I had on it. She said that she really did not want any polish but sweetly thanked me.

We went back to the first store and she found a very cute sensible closed soft souled shoe. I got a pair as well it was a buy one get one 1/2 off. She thought I got the second as one for Dash and when she realized that I actually got the pair for me she was so happy! She said Mom don't you let him make you feel bad either no matter how big a fit he throws mom you deserve a pair just for you! Oh wow what a sweet girl!

Well last night I lay beside her well into the night as she opened up the deepest reaches of her thoughts...as I lay there she held my had...this the second night in a row she just wanted me to hold her. Something tells me there is a secrete to be told that needs utter safety to let it out. I trust her that she will tell me one day. I told her of a few things of my youth as she asked each question. I shared with her how wonderful it is to be a woman and a wife and Mother. How even though it is so hard sometimes I really love it. She just pulled my arm around her tightly. Talked and talked and talked. She told me how she has had insomnia a lot and that she is a nocturnal person. I told her I would ask her pediatrician about it. She spoke of becoming hormonal...She HATES hormones:)

Boy we get that ! :)
Alas my back could no longer endure the twin bed blues and I excused myself to go to my bed. It is now 10:45 she sleeps still. She really needs it. It is a hard life when your 12. So many players at school. So many new things to experience.

She loves to write like me. She said that she loves to write and write and she filled 2 1/2 pages in her journal and when she turned it into her teacher. The teacher said "I did not tell you to write that much..." she felt afraid she was in trouble. then the teacher concluded " I'll just give you extra credit for doing so"...she was so relieved and happy that she got extra credit.
Oh she is so sweet she even got extra credit for the math she did above and beyond.
I have a wonderful little soul to tend here.
She has to deal with strife with the other kids and behaviors that trouble her. When I asked her if she would like for me to look into home school for her again she declared "oh no mom, I really like school I would really miss all the friendships and it would really just not be as good mom. It is hard but it is really good for me.

My girl opened up last night because after many hours of time she had her ease and she was safe.
It is a gift and a joy to raise her.

I see her needs yet her abilities shine brightly, her potential vast.
She is an Agile Archer, sure and true. What a beautiful young lady. An amazing woman one day to be sure.