friday funnies

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"Dash did you throw those old shoes away like I asked?"

 I guess I should have rephrased that

 "I promise I won't ware them to school"
He was saving them in the tree. Oh yes he has real nice ones to use.

The Snakes driven out 'twas Joy taking Ground

In religious lore the snake (or serpent) represented evil, godlessness and the devil's will (e.g., offering the apple to Adam). St. Patrick has been heralded as devoting his life to converting the pagans (or godless) to Christians. Thus, driving away evil. Symbolically this is shown as Patrick driving the "snakes" out of Ireland.

Some people say that Saint Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland by leading them into the water, which is why Ireland has no snakes.

Oh the joy of this day was priceless. Ever have one of those days when it is that no snakes in the grass are snapping at your heals. Where Godliness is over all the evil in the land. It was such a day here today. Slept in until 11a.m. I did!
We are on spring break here and have been all week. Dash came to me asking if they could make their own pizza and go swimming. Spending some time on line to find that non indoor pools were available the plans changed. During shower a thought occurred it would be less to take them to the favored Subway instead. Then to the mall thought I to the picture show. We did so stopping of at a Walgreen ($1) to buy some candy for to bring. Much wiser purchase than at the cinema ($3.50) same box.  Once there the prescription for Doves daily meds was acquired for only $3! a $20 script. Delighted I was.
Dove had a grave insult that she smelled so...really hurt the child. There on the clearance was the entire line of a citrus body wash, lotion and such. A good $20+ all for $4! just what she needed and it did not lite up my asthma either. A bra the only one her size $4.99! lotion I need for mine be all empty half off. All in all a good size purchase. With a $20 cash back to go to the dollar movie it totaled $86.90 well just yesterday I kid you not a check came into the budget from our Costco refund for yes...$86.90!!

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We delightfully went on to the mall and had a nice lunch after purchasing tickets in advance. (we watch the Narnia movie voyage of the dawn treader )I actually bought a iced caramel coffee! yes I did. Oh what a delight when it is an infrequent thing. Makes life much sweeter when so. With the popcorn and drinks for the kids came to the exact amount, $20!
Then returning to the shop that a anniversary gift was awaiting the amount of it came some 50% off unexpectedly! One of those days when the clerk was shining right back at me. The kids said Mom he liked you, he really liked you. Not in a sexual way...they said his eyes lit up when you asked him how his day was.
The clerk had come in when the owners fell ill, to cover them. We had a very long wait, patiently asked a bid and then to return. He had been so busy he felt sorry of it. He then went to check on a bid for the item and not only did he have for more in stock but they for some strange reason (ha!) were 50% off! The engraving the same. We came out some $30 ahead. It turned out beautiful!
This day my children had so much laughter as did I. We were so full of levity and light hearts. It felt so good.

We have had so many a hard weeks, days a good month of hard emotional hits. We even visited a pet store. It was really hard for a few second missing my Rena the feelings flowed and touched me in passing the peace and delight of the kids faces found me refreshed. Grieving was tender and timeless. We all three enjoyed the life in all of the pups. Learned lived loved. Smiled into each others eyes and hearts. Laughed at each others good humor.
Refreshed I find my soul. My infusion of Saturday finally refreshing my body, it took a bit longer to do so this month. When so worn out it is harder to rebound. Yet rebound I did.

Those ol' snakes to the water...

Sunday is our 29th wedding anniversary. A dear friend will come here to have our kids play with one of hers and to give us leave for a date.

Some moments of my week

 Found enough energy to clean the coop, left the poop to be carried for another to the compost.

 Harvest the parsley before bolt

It is now in the 80*'s now

 Drinking water before the infusion on Saturday. 

Resting in the garden. Lasted only an hour before I had to quit and go in to rest.

What a fine hour it was

 Ruby helped me to get the critters out of some compost so I could get it to the freshly sprouted sunflowers.
(still sitting on the porch) gotta get help to carry it yet

 fennel and parsley

 They are vying for a cool slice of earth they were so peaceful just hat to sit and watch them awhile

 My child of heart and a child placed in our home and hearts. Dress up time.

 Vanilla set to mull. Vodka is a good 2-3 years old just use it for this purpose. The dark jar was to rest a good year before it was set to use. The flavor of the vanilla is amazing in recipe. Nothing like the fake store bought, or even like the expensive brandy type.

This is a dress that Dove asked for and chose the fabric. I have been working on it since the third of March. Had the quilt for Dash to finish first. Slow but steady little at a time. Has the zipper to go yet and the straps to set. She is thrilled. It is actually purple looks more blue in this image.


Enjoy the gift of the evil replaced with good. Love covers all. Loving enough to overcome and allow truth to rule our hearts, minds and spirits. Even if it so difficult to do so. There are so many that my heart loves and treasures even with our minds in the mix, misunderstanding and hardships or feelings. Love is truth.

that child does not have ushers!

Friday with the favor of the ages I was able to get Dash into the best of the best! Monday appointment just two days wait. That in itself a miracle.

With the morning full of cookies and kids we were late for our appointment. I looked up at the clock at 3 that was the time we were set to be there. I gave the neighbor kid the bums rush and hit for the truck with the home phone in hand notifying them we were late and asking for favor. We were given few minutes of travel. We parked and with a limp we dashed up in the elevator and in the door within the time allowed us barley.

We were grateful and patient for our visit. Dash had dilation waited a half hour only to find the drops did not take. He had to be dropped again and another 30 minute wait. This master of pediatric special cases took one look at the test, looked into my boys eyes and just stated so matter a fact the wonderful news we are relieved to hear.

"this kid does not need glasses, and you can just forget about Ushers his retina's are just fine. This child does not have ushers!"

I told the lady at the desk when she bid us a good evening...I told her we will be dancing in joy tonight!

The urgent care doc let us down twice in it, the St Joe's clinic had us watching this boy now some 7 years. He is free of it. I once felt that way when his hearing was restored two years back. NOW we know. This is off of his head and our shoulders once and for all!

The most touching was when for the first time Dash asked what it was and I told him the whole of it. I told him of our concern over this all these years. I explained the relief. He reached to me at bed time to tell me thank you. The drops hurt he said but then he thanked me for taking him to the eye doctor today.

A New Day will dawn

Gaining strength this evening. Went to visit my sister and her daughter,  daughter in law was there. Each had a baby (my great nephews). The dil had her other two kids near age as my two. Had a busy visit helping with the babies a little. Took some art stuff to keep the kids occupied. Gotta love art for that.
Had to take off in a hurry for my strength just crashed. Came right home and slept an hour or so.


This morning I just could not get my temperature over 96.2. I just felt awful! After soaking in a HOT shower letting the water flow under my armpits till it ran out it came up to 98.2. This has become a real issue of late. While Dove was ill week or so ago, I awoke with a 95.* temp just shaking.  I have always run cool, never a fever even if I were sick. My normal temp has always been 97*, 98 would be high for me.
Any one else ever has this oddity?


I was able to tend to a few dishes this evening. My chest tore a bit under the port when she removed the needle. It has really been painful. Not her fault. The port has ends that are made so that the tissue will grow to it. To hold it in time in place. It will take a few months to do so. Until then that little silicone disk within the port really snugs the needle. It will get better over time.

This last month was really hard...here is to a new term, new month of fresh strength (infusion). May it be calmer.

Well my mind is empty :)
Happy Monday. My kids have Spring Break this next week. I am so happy to have a few days time together.
My Lab is really grieving the loss of my Golden. Her name was Rena, it means Queen in Spanish. She was a rescue Golden Retriever. A good friend. We are grieving her absence. So is my Lab. I do not give the dogs names on blog. I think it wise to keep them nameless here. As I do the children.

PS Doves foot was fine by morning thanks for your thoughtful prayers.

My strength and my song

Steve, I and the kids are watching the series of 'Roots'. Tough stuff but we feel strongly that our children understand history. We raise the kids to understand. Steve wanted to show them it. As long as we pause and help them understand I'm good with it.
History is so important.
Now take scripture a snap shot of many many generations back. Helps with mercy if we are able to understand the why of who and how. It is an endless song sung through out the echos of time.

The song, that is my heart, knew many things in life. It has made me who, how and why I am. We as a unified couple have a song. It is our history. None other could have written the lyrics. If another mate were met the song would have not been woven and strung the same way. Perhaps better or prettier yet then the beauty of Steve and I, our song, would not have been written. So it is with history. It is our story and non other. Our song alone.  The response or hope for a legacy based in expectations will never be met . Expectation placed on or longed for by another is a false history. A story of discontentment and resentment. Generation after generation parents want the very best for their children. We hope that they will marry well whatever that might be defined within the mind to mean. We hope that they will bring us honor. It is our great privilege to give them the honor. To take away our expectations of who we want them to become, what we want for their lives. Most always it is our desire that they have better than we have had. That often can look totally different than what we might think. Gods ways are better, most always differ. Free choice has left generations a mystery and expectations into disappointments.

We are married 29 years next week...we would never have re-written our song other than the loss of health. We are so good for each other. Strange to know that I am so good for him as he is for me. Without me his song our song never would of been sung. Who is to ever say whether another song could have bettered his or my life. We both strongly believe it would have been to our determent as individuals. Often the history of mine that precedes me has left me to thinking. Thoughts that Steve would have been better to have met the expectations or desires of a perfect life...a woman of breeding, of education and high rank. It must have been a great disappointment to his parents to see the hard road he has walked along side of and because of me. Because of me.
I wonder what if my kids met and married a wounded mate...how would I handle the disappointment? Best left I think the future as a history unmet without expectations. Only hopes for the things that are the very best in Gods eyes. His song for them...
As history carries on...in each moment.

Thanks for your prayers

IVIG was hard today

my type is limited
hard infusion
port tore a little from tissue in my chest
must keep my arm still to stop the pain of the skin moving over the port site.
got too tired this month.head really hurts very limp rag tonight
so hit harder, with knees, dog and every other opportunity to overcome ha
trust i'll feel better tomorrow.

you all have a sweet Sunday

word out Shorty Bear?

Has anybody heard anything from shorty bear (Denise) I tried calling leaving a message and nothing.

Dash has a vision appointment

Bless God and all of you for your prayers and encouragement. This morning Bren sent me a list of passages. As I looked up each one, they were high lighted already. Being reminded of His Word, this living word caused me to be still. God is God. I was not able to get back into the Children s Clinic at ST. Joe until late April. I was able to get into a renowned pediatric ophthalmologist on Monday. I will have my infusion of Saturday and so it will guard me as to be able to go into a pediatric office without the concern of my immune issues. My kids have spring break as well next week so no missed school. The nurse at the allergist looked into his ears and saw wax. The Urgent Care doctor did not see any. This gives us hope as well. He is still hearing poorly. We are trying to use 8az warm water 1 tea hydo peroxide rinse with a special syringe she gave me. He was not able to get his allergy shots today. He blew a VERY low number on his meter. We used some albuteral. He had a field day in PE today.

Steve and I are most eased by this, we hope that the Urgent Care doc just made a mess. We still have to confirm with vision and hearing testing. Goodness! Yes...yes...goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...follow? not lead... follow...interesting notion.

On another note. Dash dropped a VERY heavy bolt/tube of  banner paper on Dove's foot. It is swollen. Steve and I are just shaking our heads! She may need an xray in the morning!

While tending to a limping child while hobbling through the house myself (all but comical) my left knee gave out a BIG pop! I is now loose and feeling less painful. Isn't that cool! Sorta like cracking a knuckle. This last round of shots is taking a bit to get adjusted and out of pain. The brace is being formed and I should get it in a week or so. It will be fitted and hold my leg as to press on the outside of it to keep the bow legging of the bone on bone. It is pretty fancy.

Please remember if you will to pray for my sister. She had knee replacement just last week. VERY pained she is. Sweet Lady.

The Word filled me
Please do me a favor...
Comment for me the passages for the life blood, the blood that covers all. I need a scripture infusion. :)
Thank you all
Donetta

Someone bless these seeds I sow

"They that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength, they will soar on wings as eagles; they will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31 KJV).


The thought occurred to me to try to take Dash down to the clinic we once used when it was under grant. No longer under grant perhaps they might take our insurance. They will have record of him. They will have the vision and hearing testing at one place. 
I will wait until after Saturday for my strength of body through infusion will help me along.
I sense Dash is afraid. He may need once again to use his hearing aides. He does not know about the Ushers being an issue. Waiting in this moment I will wake them and begin a new day.


Wings give me wings

Ushers Threat

Please pray
Dash has lost hearing in his right ear it diminished all of a sudden. Steve took him to urgent care. No infection. A vision test shows decreased vision. Our hearts are pounding! It hits in late childhood early teen. He turned 10 two days ago.

Ushers is a syndrome that is 8th nerve involved. It has been on the back burner now for a while because his hearing had miraculously improved. Now all of a sudden he can not hear well out of his right ear.
Research said dizziness comes. He has complained of being dizzy, but he was playing in the yard.

I'll get him into the eye doc in the marrow if I can, and if I can drive.

If this has come upon him...deaf/blindness would just be devastating.

We feel like we are just going to loose it with all that has been happening. Goodness will prevail. Oh may this not be called of him, or us.

breath, breath...it will be alright. May this not be his battle to fight.

Of loss and the calling of Motherhood

Thank you everyone for your kindness. This week has been a bit much. Dash stayed home with me yesterday. Tending Dove in the morning, concerned she was stuffing bottling up all her emote she shared she had cried all night. She has missed so much class time she went on to school. Dash and I walked her to the bus stop.

Dash and I spent time out in the yard. He climbed the big tree and clipped all the sucker shoots off. It was good for his heart. He used stones to spell out a big heart...I love you Rena, we all do. It was good for his soul. He was able to speak of letting her go. This I taught him as she was to pass. I told him of how I learned this when my mom died. How it would help Rena if she knew that he let her go. As Dash relieved those 'white knuckles' clinging her to life. He had let go as she passed.

The vet was wonderful and kind to all of us.

That morning I had gone the dentist for two filling. He gave me the prophylactic anti-biotic, the shots to numb. As he worked on my teeth he said. "I have good news for you, I was able to just buff out the stain line with out having to redo the fillings. This one is on me" Yes NO CHARGE! I asked if the other tooth could be buffed he did so. Now I have looked in my mirror a good year really disappointed having three front teeth that had lines of stain at the margins of the fillings. My dentist said....

"Those things we put off persist"

His wisdom followed me through the day. Through the act of kindness that I was called upon to perform for Rena. I knew it was that her pain would persist as would suffering. I knew that it could be put off no longer. It was so hard for she was to die the day after Dash's birthday. 

Dash came to understand that she loved him so much that she hung in there for him to do so. The night before, the night of his birthday I called the kids in and told them she was getting ready to go home. They loved on her. I was able to get down to the floor. She just rested her head in my hand. Dash protested that she will live another two months. I reminded him that a few months back she came round and choose to stay a while longer for him. She is tired it is time to rest.

The hardest thing is to be a parent there with a child to remain together and support Dash was my calling. 

At the end I hid my face and began to weep. The sweet vet came over to embrace me and hold me while I shook without Dash being too aware. It meant so much for her to do so. How hard it must of been on her. They were to close within 15 minutes. So we had to make that choice to go fast. Steve walked in from work finding Dash and I over her. Speaking to Dash's refusal then Steve carrying her right to the car. I held her on my lap. Pain in heart and body as we caught every street light. She just rested and looked around. I just held her tired head and cried. 

With the gift from the dentist we were able to stay with her for it covered the cost within ten dollars. Gods ways so much higher. Those thing we put off just persist a gift of words as well that only God knew would carry me though the afternoon.

Yesterday with Dash with us Steve and I went to get my last round of knee shots. I was also fitted for a leg brace. It should come in two weeks. In lue  of knee replacement we will try this a few months. It will also help me to get my weight down. Dash wanted to be there. He saw me injected I was so concerned his heart.

Steve got me home once on the sofa I knew I had to go to my bed. It had all just been too much.

There I slept from 5pm to 4am this morning. My back sore I had to get up. I will limp around today.

There is a place near the door where Rena would lay, greet me each morning. I keep looking there to see her. It feels so odd to loose that morning custom. This the hardest thing to face...I must wash the wall and the floor there when I am able. Tell then I see her there in the stain on the wall, the patch on the floor. 

Today when they all wake up I will mother again. Comfort their pain. Feed their bellies. See them off. Weep on my own, and comfort my Lab as he has also lost his best friend. 

My infusion is on Saturday, I can feel the need of it strong. Not looking forward to that question..."how was your month"...just one time soon I wish she could hear what a wonderful month for me. These trials, challenges well I really need a break.

a tear wept

Rest in Peace Dear Rena

Dash "I love her. She is the reason I wake up, and the reason I come home from school"

We just now returned from the vet. We put her to sleep to ease her suffering.

We all three held her hand. 

No more pain.

She went peacefully. 

Say a prayer for my children please.

 Rena our dear Golden Retriever

died today

10-23-1998~3-7-2011

Marriage Monday

~Trust~

Love never fails

"I am for you and never against you.

I am your friend"

He trusts in, confidently relies on her all of the days of his life.

I have known this love. I am living this trust. Yes even give this confidence and received it.

Trust is something earned, not simply given freely. Trust does not mean that mistakes or tragedy never happens. Trust is gained in small steps over time. It is that only God can ever be blindly trusted, that is in an instant. Even so for many God can seem untrustworthy if self expressed expectation exists. God has different ideas than we often do. We can know however, whatever the difficulty

that God is for us and not against us.

Trust in marriage is that, knowing that the each is FOR and never against the other. This dear hearts is earned. Time after time proven out. In early marriage trust is risked in intimacy, sharing history, sharing of true deep feelings for the first time. The giving of ones whole being body soul and spirit over to another. Unfortunately this step is ofter acted out upon before wed lock. The wound of the broken trust can damage lives for ever. Break ups in courtship is wrecked when the real gain could be knowing who we are and what we may or may not desire in a marriage (a lifelong mate).

Confidence is the trust gained at this risk. Can I believe that he/she will hold a confidence or blab it all over. Many loose trust early here finding an ill placed humor or slip of the tong. An argument that humiliates. Such things pose great cost in the currency of trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

This was actually the very first scripture I ever memorized. Now Marriage is like this. Many times it is so hard to understand the actions of the other. It is the motive that is in question. If we have risked and gained it is that the other has earned enough trust that even if we do not understand...we know they are for us.

 1983 BIKE TRIP TOGETHER. 

THAT IS 'OLD BLUE' OUR TRUCK STEVE BUILT THAT THING UP FROM FRAME. OH THOSE OLD GREASY SOCKS  ;0

Once we learn each others life stories we can gain a mind of "it's no wonder they respond that way". The goal then is in being for each other. The trust is healing, empowering. We become safe with each other. We are enriched to understand more clearly a since of who we are. We belong to each other. With a mutual mission a goal we begin to accomplish a life together. That is the marriage where the two become one. In body soul (mind) and spirit. It is most often in the mind we differ. However in some marriage trust is broken in the ways of the body. Adultery, or ridicule even in withholding. Others change of minds are an issue of trust. Refusing to let the other think for themselves. It is a wonderful thing to empower each other to think things through. 

It is however in the SPIRIT that one ship is most critical. If that is in power in place then it is no longer a trust just through two, but it becomes three strand.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

Married 29 years March 20th

In marriage often trying to figure out what the other one was thinking is the challenge. The catalyst to argument. Trust earned takes the time to try and figure it out through discussion. Attack is not necessary or even an option. That will always be a choice. If we are for each other no need to attack we protect innately. Argument than can reasonably occur at a difference of opinion. It is those arguments that are based in misunderstanding that so often break a bond, a cord of connection. Fighting over some thing that is assumed or taken as harm in act or thought toward the other spouse.

The vows of marriage is all about being

FOR EACH OTHER NEVER AGAINST EACH OTHER

This is the core of trust.

This is the confidence built.

This is the cord that can hold a marriage through friendship, intimacy and reliability.

Oh that cord will be pulled upon I assure you.

It is critical that trust never be broken it is a terrible thing to try to restore. However if trust has been kept, if risk has reward things be ever so much easier to forgive. Even in everything we be for each other we all can error. We all can sin and do sin. It is in the risk of trust. If trust ever be broken beyond repair...it is then that the wound can soul kill. Soul (the mind) can often be restored but it is a terrible torment to the one called upon to forgive. I have witnessed this in many unions over the years. 

Trust...in and confidently rely upon

Be that mate that pays off the risk placed upon you.

Be trustworthy.

The key to a marriage built on trust.

hot Buttons in Marriage

Hello precious Sister,

Some time ago, many of you answered the survey question on this post, "What's the Biggest Problem or Frustration in Your Marriage?" Your valuable feedback in the comment box—and by email—revealed a number of areas or "hot buttons" that married couples find particularly challenging.

And I have not forgotten. So for the next umteen months, we're going to be covering the subject matter as a group. I'll throw out a single word like trust, money, or communication and that will be our topic, OK? You can title your post however you like.

Our Topic for March is "Trust"

Please accept my invitation to join us for Marriage Monday on March 7, 2011. Our group topic is trust.

As always, you have all the freedom you need to cover the subject matter in whatever way you want. You can post prose, a bulleted list, a video, a slideshow, a poem, or a song—whatever the Spirit leads you to share with us. You're the expert, and we're counting on you to teach us a few new things to apply to our own marriages.

Sisters, let's roll!

Blessings,

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

http://chrysaliscafe.com

http://facebook.com/ChrysalisCafe

Love never fails.

We had Doves 13th adoption day this week. she is so beautiful. recently she has worked so very hard and turned a 'c' in math around to a 'b/b+' . We are so impressed that she took such great pride in her education.

this week I posted a post met with total silence. It has been removed. Sorta left me naked and alone to do so.

spending time in the front yard is so favored now. It is so beautiful. the whole of it is pristine. It feels like that little piece of the estate that is just mine to have clean and unadulterated. It is a thing of beauty. Sunflower seeds were planted two days ago. Now I wait for the knees to absorb yesterdays injections.

Annuals are due in moon phase between the 4-12 of March so once the knees stop the fuss I'll get out and plant some more flowers. I love my flowers. Once a dream was to live in the forest and walk the dirt roads tossing wild flower seeds. Like a legacy was the vision. So now they are here in my yard. A legacy left where I am. the forest is within my heart here where it is warm.

A wonderful gift appeared at my door today. My best friend! She spoke and as if a dream it was her. She and I seldom get to speak or visit. Her life is full with work and 5 kids, a stay at home husband, dog and a cat. She is a Jewel, a prized dear friend. One that a six month span can be as if just a day ago. People like that in my life hold me embrace me. It is a belonging to a whole.

My heart is silence of some recent events that have hurt me to the core. To the core. Silenced. We forgive and forebear. We breath in and out and do the best we are able to believe in humanity. To believe the best in humanity. No matter the wounds we must not let it defuse the compassion's we chose to set forth in our lives.

Sweet Dash got a really BIG HUGE lesson is tough love today. So much so that his birthday must be postponed to get the lesson across. Really tears me up to do what must be done. Love is that way you know it can just tear us up.

Love never fails though.

Jacob Lusk - God Bless the Child, American Idol 2011 Hollywood Week

Word Filled Wednesday

Hello Hope the day has given you an opportunity to enjoy some beauty. Sewing and catching up on the many repairer jobs in my Que kept and is keeping me busy in a pleasant way.

Monday dash's quilt received the last stitches of a long line of threads. It was a real privileged and pleasure to give a little love not and the date. His 10th birthday is Sunday so we are holding buck until then. I want to just to give it too him, but the gifts he will received are limited this year.

 So you think he needed a new one?

 Front of the old one lasted well but the back was torn to bit.

 Little or should I now say medium boy blue is very hard on his jeans. So I sew...the process will get posted over at my other blog 'a place to create'. This was completed today.

We have an ironing board that Steve gave me as a birthday gift years ago. It is in the Master closet. One of the fold up into the wall type. It is worn out! so I sew... A new cover for it. The heat resistant fabric a real find. hot pads will use up the scraps once I get to them.

My flowers are really coming up now. The spring seeds ready to get into ground. Both Veggie and flower. Most all of the seeds were either harvested or already purchased last year. It is nice to avoid the added costs. Most of the flowers from the seed swap failed. The ones I harvested off of the poppies are now in full force green as the forest in spring. Color is increasing daily. I am loving it! Now it takes a couple of weeks with the neighbors thinking

' when are they going to pull all those weeds'? 

It is my joy to bring forth a little beauty on my street. So after a long day of work perhaps the change of mood in my neighbors might even spark a better evening for families on my street.

"bloom Where your planted" a light upon a hill not easily hidden. 

Folks perhaps might give up on a light till it blooms...but once it shines dear Lord has mercy!

Enjoy your day.
I am going out to run over an apple. Dash asked what it would be like. :) Why not satiate his curiosity.

 predictions

back up

 predictions

pull forward

 querry

 assessment

 hadn't thought about apple juice

Now some might say that is a perfectly waste of an apple

to me the mind is a terrible thing to waste

that was fun

He was sure surprised I took him up on his question

yes...he cleaned it up and I hosed off the juice
Bringing up the children in the way they should go.

A New Knee

Well hello all of you dear hearts out there.

Today was an interesting and educational day.

After the children were off to school and the morning rest I went to visit my sister in the hospital.

She had her second knee replacement surgery Yesterday. The hospital is 25 miles one way. A beautiful drive where the surrounding mountains are close and the vast desert valley open to view. 

This hospital was more like a 4 star hotel. The public toilet even had the toilet paper roll folded to a point! Beautiful place only 60 beds all set for knee replacements. This doctor is the number one in the nation for the procedure. She and I have the same insurer only my benefits are better even than hers. We are so blessed.

This morning I had a flush of a reality hit me while standing in my master closet. I groaned out a "I'm not wanting this Lord"...then the flush was pass and the fear gone. Folks last Thursday my x ray showed that the right knee is now bone on bone. For the last four years I have been receiving synvisc injections, the first time only in the right knee. The goal has been to hold out as long as I can for the kids to get older and more self sufficient.

Standing there I knew within me 'it is time'. What a strange place I am in. My spirit has complete peace even a bit of excitement at the thought of living pain free in my knee. I understand that knee replacement is one of the worst pain producing surgeries one can have. My heart does flutter with the apprehension of what I will be up for . It is great courage that I will earn this knee :)

We are thinking of June after we take the kids to Disneyland (Lord and finance willing). That will give me time to heal before Doves first year of Jr. High. Up and able (hopefully) by July or so to take the kids to a pool.

The time to lose weight is NOW! so I must bring in all diligence and discipline.

The times or in His hands. There is a time for everything. Knee replacement will be coming soon it appears.

Meal Plan Monday

Hello

click on images to enlarge them

Good evening, it looks like life is becoming a bit more of a good pace for me now. My immune system is getting stronger as my numbers continue to increase. My lymphatic system is healing so that it can create more mature lymph.

 Were just sitting down the two of us at our own computers to chill out. The kids are asleep and the dishwasher hums in the back ground.

Recently several lemons were gifted me. 

This is the process used to get the most out of them.

 Be sure to avoid the white it is bitter. 

These are diced or added and then removed from a sauce or recipe.

 Nothing wasted this is the great way to clean a sink and garbage disposal

 Now for the fine scrape it is used for dishes that keep the rind in them.

Juice is then squeezed for lemon aid by adding a simple syrup.

Wedges of lemon added to make the flavor rise.

Juice is saved for other uses. Rinds are frozen.

All from a few lemons and a little simple sryup.

Simple syrup add sugar to boiling water and dissolve store for various uses.

This is great for drinks or things that need a sweet without a spoon to stir it.

How to make a cover for CPAP Machine

 Hi

Today the issue of the condensation on the tubing is addressed. 

Tonight I will not get water up my nose in the middle of the night. 

I posted over at A Place to Create the process.
come over and check it out

My hopes are that every one is having a restful pleasant Sunday.

Be Blessed.

Garden progress

Visit over here at Bee Bliss Gardens Blog for a tour of what is up.

 bachelor buttons are making a show too

The poppy's are coming soon.

just two of the jobs in prosess

 My dress

Dash's quilt.
Posted the process over at A Place To Create Blog

All the quilting is done.
I was able to get the beaded fringe on the dress.

 I have been hand stitching the boarder on all evening.
Dash watched with gratitude and excitement.
About 5/8 around tonight time to go to bed.
Sleep sweet all of you dear souls out there.

On Parenting an ill special needs child

First off thank you for your prayers for Dove.

The retching started up Wednesday again a pattern was emerging. When she was stressed it would get worse. Not too unlike any of us really. It was as if it was expected of her somehow. As I observed and focused on the stillness that holds answers within the most inner part of me. I began to see something, but then it lit up again. So I just stepped back and watched. When Steve got home and sat in the living room, then Dash came in and sat on the air mattress it started up again.

Correcting Dash the discussed looks at Dove, he caught on.

Steve had little of it and demanded a trip to the urgent care to get some help. So it went tough really. Steve became a bit annoyed that Dove was being a wet noodle, calling to much on me to physically assist her. She stood against the exit to go to the Urgent Care Doc. Gave me all kinds of fit. I think I have learned that by just acknowledging..."ya, I know I wouldn't want to go either but we need to go."

That did not stop the verbal battle but she wanted to go with me not Dad. I said to her..." you can either go with me or dad but you need  to go. She chose me at dad became the target of the teenage..."I hate you your so mean" poor guy.

She verbally refused all the way to the place, retching and vomiting (seemingly so). I think that she was so mad that she was even upsetting her constitution. Leaving her nearby in the car I went in to ask if they could receive her. Telling them what they were up for. We got there and they helped us in promptly as too not spread it in the lobby. The triage nurse went to MOP's (moms of preschoolers) at a church we attended when Dove was little. She recognized us.

She was a big help. Although ignorant about the way to address the issues. It is so hard with the kid sitting right there. Dove is not a stupid or dense kid, just a wonderful 13 year old going on 8 at times, with a social cognitive issue and anxiety disorder.

"can she understand, can she speak?" asked the nurse. Yes...

Then the odd looks one gets, like a pity or a....well adoption is an open heart not one that is as prone to expect perfection. Knowing that no child on earth is perfect.

Anyway :) we gave her a shot of fenagrin to stop the retching cycle. She has a sinus infection too. That is what Steve and I suggested before I took her to the ER on Monday night. ER doc...

Post script...sorry so busy over here 

Wednesday night she slept in our room. She let out a little retch and I said "Stop"!

To which she responded "what?"

"Oh No this will not start up again, don't even let it go there.  Keep it from starting Dove"

but to ease the anxiety we made it all very calming for her. The cycle broke bless God. She slept 16 hours! I began to get concerned and went to check her again she was awake in the rest room and had started her period. Poor kid. Perhaps PMS could of played a part in all of this.

She stayed home Thursday but I insisted she sit up on the sofa and encouraged foods. By days end a real turn around. She had finally left the sofa while we were out getting my knee injections.

We left her and Dash home for the 45 minutes we were gone.

As soon as we settled me on the sofa I had Steve help me by removing any and all signs of her being sick in the living room.

Out of sight out of mind. Out of mind out of anxiety. IT WORKED!

She went to school Friday. Mid day I called the nurse at the school to have her call Dove up to office to tend to hygienic needs. This to stave  off the anxiety of having the bathroom door kicked in (yes it happens now). School bathrooms are the one danger place for kids.

Now I am not really sure whether she had flu or not. I now she was sick a 103* was very high. The illness was not faked at all.

It was her reaction to it. 

 The anxiety that caused the every 30 second retching. Once it began she could not stop it. I sorta wonder if she thought she needed to puke just because that ER doc said that she would be soon. She began the retch right after while we were being discharged. It all worked out. I just think it important to share the knowledge with other moms.

WE HAD TO Remove the cycle of retching with meds for she could not stop it on her own.

Kept the anxiety as low as I could by using verbiage about how glad I was that she would feel so much better.

Told her how well she was going to sleep.

Spoke often at how this will only last a short while and will be over soon.

Removed any sign of illness once she was better.

I hope that this might be of help to others

Be Blessed

The retching may be anxiety

 It stopped for almost 20 minutes until brother came in to watch tv. I could not give her any more of the nausea med and it did not work today.

I tried some Motrin for the muscle and the clonopin for her anxiety. 

IT WORKED!

It worked!

IT WORKED 

IT WORKED 

IT 

WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!

oh by the way "it worked"!

that was a day and a half of retching every 30-45 seconds

The doc just called to have me give her another anti nausea med.,

and to try to fit her in. We just skirted a 22 mile drive one way with a sick kid, a nausea kid who gets car sick on a good day. Bless God for insight and a Mothers intuition. Just wish it would of accrued to me earlier. When I got on line retching was in some a physiological condition. Dove has a special need of a anxiety issue.

She has only done it perhaps 3 times in the last half hour...oh I hope that I did not speek too soon. Oh I do hope not to have an ER visit tonight.

Dove is Retching every 30 seconds!

After doing a little research I discovered that kids with panic disorders will do this. I have tried a half of to dissolved clonopin.

Retching is a process in the human body where gastric (and sometimes duodenal) contents are forced into the esophagus, but do not enter the pharynx. Retching usually precedes vomiting, when the upper esophageal sphincter remains closed. If the upper oesophageal sphincter is open, vomiting occurs. It is usually caused by a bad smell or choking. Retching involves a deep inspiration against a closed glottis. This, along with contraction of the abdomen leads to a pressure difference between the abdominal and thoracic cavities. As a result, the stomach and gastric contents are displaced upwards towards the thoracic cavity


It seams to have slowed. I am awaiting the doctors call back. The nurse has NO openings to get her back in. I do think it may be her special needs condition. It is doing a little better.

Help! 

 Does anyone with special needs kids have this happen when they get sick!

Hypothermia

Dang! I awoke with such a shiver from being on the floor last night. I was on an air mattress with good blankets too. I think it was the c-pap blowing the cool air into me. Sleep only came after 1a.m. or so. I was cold in the night, very. So tired I did not get up except to reach for my snuggy off of Dove who was above me on the sofa. I remember being curled up in a tight ball all night. 
Once finally falling asleep the morning came with Dash waking me at 6:45 or so. I was so cold it hurt! Thinking I might be feverish I took my temperature 94.*! 
I looked it up on line and it said that I had mild hypothermia.Any thing below 95.* is mild wow how weird!
Yesterdays coffee warmed and hot water on my hands. After tending to the kids and getting back from the bus stop for Dash my temperature is now 95.9*. So I am sitting here trying to warm myself up. Sorta feeling a bit confused and dizzy. I think it is from being so cold. What a weird thing to happen. I guess the air mattress must of displaced cold off of the floor. That with the c-pap cold air. This hot coffee is good. My face still feels cold. I'd get a hot shower but she needs me not to be away too long. She is within a close distance now on the sofa. I have my Russia pants on and a coat. It is not cold in here at all. Desert rats do get a cold in winter can get up to mid 60's in the day and 38 at night. High is high and the low is low. Our weather is like that. It was perhaps high 40's walking Dash to the bus stop just 3-4 houses down to the corner.

My sweet daughter is not doing very well. We have temperatures at both ends of the gauge this morning. Goodness sake!

Dove is retching even though I gave her the anti nausea medication. Hoping it stops soon. she wanted cold water big mistake. Tried some warmed apple juice no go.

Doves fever finally broke around then. she has a low grade this morning.

being in a time of need

there is something sublime
—Synonyms
1.  exalted, noble. 2.  magnificent, superb, august, grand, gorgeous, resplendent, imposing, majestic.

in being a mother when beside my ill child. Though never a Mother who would ever wish thus upon my young.
Steve, upon Doves request assisted me in bring the air mattress into the living room. Tonight again I will sleep (term used loosely ) there with her only this time not sitting up on the recliner. She NEEDS me. How it is that a mother, this mother becomes irreplaceable. As if it is only in my presence peace security and the calm can come to her. It is a holy thing being here for my child.
It is sacred the charge to hold the hair, spoon the broth and wipe the brow.

So in that my pen runs low of ink (so to speak).

I am well with some head ache, tiny tad of nausea here and there. Rather tired and thankful she is calm at the moment. Thank you sweet Denise to ask of me. I wore a mask at the ER last night and on the sofa most of the night. Once the tell tell headache hit I knew flu was coming to hit me. However with the flu shot I received my defenses are higher. I could just kick myself for only getting it for Dash and I at the allergist. I should of made a pediatric appointment and gotten her one. It just slipped by me.
The antibiotics I started on Sunday will help too. My dentist appointment in the morning canceled (the reason of the prophylactic antibiotics). Yet I will stay on them. Still have the knee shots set on Thursday. Steve will leave work early to take me. It is in the late afternoon so I will be able to care for her until then. I trust Gods ways so high that it will all work out.
Well after 28 hour with only a few of sleep this is a little bit of a mental health break. I will be going in again now in the time of need.
Sleep should come in small slices of gratitude for it will mean that she has calmed the retching and rests. Sweet child.
Appriciate your prayers

Please remember Shorybear in hospital, a prayer would mean so much to her as well.

doves got the flu

we were in the ER last night
sweet kid
love your prayers for her please

Shorty Bear calls for prayer

Eddie asked me to post on her site but I can not get in. She is in hospital and has called me to ask all of you for prayer. This is unlike her to speak up folks so you know this is serious. she is in due to some type of colitis, kidney infection, urinary track infection.

Eddie sounds pretty wiped out tired having to work and help her to hospital. They have been trying to get her blood sugar levels in order. 

So folks Pray for this woman who takes so much of her heart and prays for us.

Thank you

You can go over to her place shorty bears place

She is in hopital
1-423-778-7072 this is bed side. If you call please she is in hospital make it real brief. Just reminder of how loved she is.
This is posted at Eddie and Denise request.
Thank you