The first Birthday Party my Sister had ever had...at 51 Saturday in the park

 This my sister two years my elder was tricked into a wonderful surprise party that took her completely off guard. She was stunned. The nieces had decorated and mad a cake for her (a very good cake)

 

 I attended to honor my sister and to have the kids play with my great nieces and nephews their second cousins. Dove and this little girl the daughter of my nephews baby's mother. She and her other brother Dash's age are favored by my kids. They really get along well.

 

 The boy in the orange is the other son of my nephew and the boy on ground the brother of the above girl.

 

 The other two were neighbor and a son to the best friend of my dead nephew.

 

 This little fellow is my nieces son.

He is a real cute kid.

Dash and Dove just loved getting to see him for they live across country.

 

 The white and turquoise necklace is what I gave her.

 

 An image for her of all the kids. Many her grand kids two her niece and nephew (my kids) some neighbors children. on her lap is the son born of my nephew after his passing. To her right his mother holding the infant of another set of folks the bio of the boy in orange. The parents were not there they just let a relative bring the the children. The one on right she is a really good mom. She has the three kids the two that my kids play with well and the newest baby. . The little one in orange on his knee is a child of great concern for all of us he and his sister who is on knee at far right.

Please remember these two kids Please...for my heart is very very heavy for their lives now and in future.

 

This was a very touching moment for her this little one I ask prayer for gave a card to her that had the song You are my sunshine. It grabbed that Grandmas heart and just squeezed it into a painfully sweet way.

That is an image of her and her brother.

Two children that need a miracle to live a life of hope and promise.

Emotionally it was a challenging day.

I stood up to a man who was mistreating the boy in question.

ME i stood up to him!

I was pretty tired when I got back home as were the kids at exit.

I have NEVER seen boys fling themselves so hard on the ground and really wrestle hurting each other with calous. I was just appalled. It was normal to those in attendance. Different lives.

My thought just because "they did it" does not mean it is the most profitable way to train a child to be.

Dash had a hand injury and was just wipped out!

I took them for a burger on the way home and he was so undone.

His humor improved after food.

He told me how he really likes the way his Daddy is better than the way those men were.

They hurt him physically.

Daddy he said hurts sometimes with words but always apologizes when he is wrong.

High Tea Turnout

 The tea party was fun.

We made it a tea of words for my friend loves words and the party was also a birthday honor as well for two ladies. One was unable to attend last minute but we still had plenty even without pastries.

I put little magnetic words all over the table .

I found a book of antiquated poetry and read a piece by Yates.

This after we all spread out the fest before us.

Michelle had some wonderful fresh fruit

Trisha a fresh crisp salad with crasins and crunchiness in it.

Half and half for the tea was an added pleasure for those who use it.

Lisa joined in with some pinwheel sandwiches and malano cookies.

We had some Macadamia caramel chocolates.

Teas were served and some kosher grape juice.

After Yates Michelle said

"nobody speaks like that any more"

To which I gave the perfect gift for her.

A book on antiquated language.

She is an author so it would feed her soul.

I set out little books of poetry on friendship and we each read a few.

We all exchanged our Christmas gifts She received a necklace of words with lavender spacers,

Lisa a pink color she favors set and Trish with her copper frames received a cooper set made for her.

It was so kind the hospitality gifts were a nice box of tea, and a wonderful little magnetic note pad for my purse. Now I had been given one of these back at my birthday and I love it use it so sparingly. Now There is another and I can use it with abandon not preserve it so.

A wonderful book, a gift card to go to lunch all alone one day and people watch.

Funny cause my toes were cold and a sock of furry soft as snow but warm as a kitten came too. It was so nice to slip on. Now I wore my hat. it was so fun.When my lips were dry the chap stick that came with the cozy for my toesy was perfect.

Now I might just find myself curled up tonight reading my new book and taking notes while enjoying a cup of tea.

Our dear friend had a sad task of taking her daughters to airport for them to fly out to visit the paternal of their life. How hard that would be to do. She was able to come just as the others were pulling away. She with heavy heart stayed and was nurtured a while, while our children played together.

It was a long and late day Sunday. With Monday morn fast approaching there was little to no time to be.

 

The time of friendship came to be one of loving nurture and we held up our hearts and wounds to feel the touch of understanding and kindness. It was a good full day.

Tackle it Tuesday

WELL I am tackled for sure.

Goodness!

The children have hot chocolate on the table and my husband is out in the garden understanding why all the water is gone and the pool sits at the corner of the house. A design flaw was letting all the rain water we are trying to harvest go straight to the earth. Arg!

So now we better understand some concerns I have had about such things. It just never really seamed to be collecting when it should. Now here is another wonderful chance to collect gone. I am so glad I went out there to check the flow. It was overflowing the let in and it was because it was completely missing the screening slant and just flowing right down the outer pipe to the earth. He is fixing it now and is non too pretty happy about it at the moment

As I am coming in from the garden the prize pepper is missing. On further interrogation :) I find Dove left the gate open and not only is the pepper missing but the dog tramped the raised bed smashing many plants and the herbs took a hard hit. Kids are no longer allowed in garden!

Earlier the big tackle was the appointment for Dove at the Psychiatrist at 8 am, traffic was heavy. As I entered the freeway I realized that I had grabbed the wrong paper work. It was a long morning with $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ after $$$$$$$$$$$ after $$$$$$$$$$$$$ while Steve sat at home earning them on the computer hour after hour after hour

We have a 12 part follow up and I will tell about it later on another post.

My hearing appointment was canceled this afternoon so I got to just stay home.

After a nice pot of home made chicken soup I rested some. Worked on the table for Christmas. All the china and service crystal was washed by my sweet man. I was able to begin setting anew. It is not done yet. I am thinking of another color for accent. I still have the napkins to sew. I got the table cloth washed. and reset.

 So far white silver gold and crystal is the setting.

Napkins with a silver strand on White.

 

 

 After many years I actually had the time and patience to figure out how to put the four tear stand together.

It is from Penza Russia where Dash was born. It was an issue because no one had figured the puzzle of the parts. Took me four times and I got it! I knew it would be beautiful. It was purchased in a little kiosk where a dear soul sold it for food money perhaps. Penza Russia is world renowned for its crystal.

Dove has an apointment at 8 am

my time so it is early morn and I am just to get her up and into the car soon for it is a very long drive.
They will be doing an extensive eval sweet thing. I know that this is a gift for the next apointment was 1-15 and that is just too long when a child is not sleeping and so off I go.
It has been remarkable stressful for a few days due to many many dear loved folk in crisis. WE are doing alright thank God but my heart has just been stunned by all around me the lives in deep deep struggles.

I hope your all in a hush not a rush.

peace be with all of you and joy.

Jingle bells Bat Man smells Robin laid an egg....

Oh how nice it is to respond to this year from a different angle.
Walgreen's has toys buy one get one free!
So for the first time I will be giving my Great Nieces and Nephews a small gift. It worked out to be $3.50 a toy.
I have never been able to do it before so I feel very glad and peaceful to think that I can actually gift them.
I wish I could also afford to send up to Washington to my Sisters Daughter and her grown boys but at least I had been able to do that once or twice years back. I have 22 nieces and nephews and well over 25 Greats I think it is. I am not sure about one brothers kids if or how many, I have no contact with them.

Oh so many many children have crossed this heart and these related are just a drop in a huge heart for kids.

"The Bat Mobil lost it's wheel and went rolling down the hill"

Well another young life is rolling down the hill this Christmas. Sad thing too. Doves best friend is in a bad way...
As a seer I tried to tell the child's mother that things were not what they seamed and to use care. She had longed for her husband to get let out of prison. It began that she was awaiting two payments to set a foundation for child support and then she was filing for divorce however she fell over heals for an ideal that she had longed for all those many years she held onto as a loyal wife. Only hoping someday for a normal life.
He convince her of many things...I saw danger and warned her. I saw the very thing...Last night I got a call for the girls were to get together. She was distraught on the phone . I do not watch the TV much at all. So she filled me in. Her husbands nephew had been arrested a few days ago. Then yesterday her husband. He did not dwell with her because of their daughter he was not allowed too while on probation. So it appears the two men were burglarizing homes and violently kidnapping and roughing up the folks that lived in the homes. My sweet friend was stunned because she so loves her husband that the ability to understand he was not the person she thought threw her whole world. These homes were in the very high end area of a local town.

After helping her to breath on the phone I shared with my little family. My family had heard me set strong boundaries with interactions knowing that I had a strong sense of warning.

What do you do? I told her, I warned her. I even spoke clearly that this very thing was happening that he was enticing her into a lala dream of happily ever after. She sweet thing would defend her husband with every thing she was so after speaking clearly I said no more. Now this at Christmas . A child in a real hard way. This is the very child that God had asked me two years ago if I would hold this one close in my heart. I have. Now as to what else I saw that day...well that is Gods business. This child may eventually need a safe place my heart will be open to her. Keeping guard over my little clutch all the while.

folly it was all folly...

So that Bat Mobile lost its wheel and those lives are now rolling down the hill..

Honest Scrap

Michelle over at  Beautiful Chaos gifted me with an award.

This is one with a request of listing 10 things about myself. Points of honesty about myself.

the rules say i have to tell ten honest things about myself and then pass the award along to seven other bloggers.

Well thank you for thinking of me Michelle
be sure to go over and give her a visit.


Ten things?

1. I pour myself into whatever I am doing at the exclusion often of other things. Like this summer making the garden extension left the inside of the house in want. But then I will pour myself into the house for a few weeks.  It is hard for me to just balance. I will get in the mood to cook and I cook up a storm. The Strange thing is a dichotomy because at any given moment I have such a variety of projects going at the same time. By pouring myself so deeply into a project I will often exhaust myself. Like a hamster on a wheel then the bearing seizes up. That is when projects switch. I'll go from physical to intellectual pursuits.

2. My creative ideas can become very overwhelming so I have to use care to choose what ideas to pursue. I just love to do so many different things.

3. I am afraid to take the time to do the rest of the work on my novel for if I do I may become enveloped.  One of the reasons I do not write is that I really hate being interrupted in thought when I write fiction. Writing fiction takes me into a muse of sorts where time is lost and the world in my  mind becomes like a movie picture. I close my eyes and type. Did that one year for namo pro blamo and had a novel in 31 days. It is just like letting my imagination take me into lives that let my inner most thoughts and deepest most human lessons become laid out for all to see. When I become so intensely enveloped I can be very irritable when interrupted. I do not think that fair to the children or to myself to set up explosive scenarios.

4. I would of loved to be an inventor or an architect. I love to solve creative problems. Making the tools and environment work for me where it might be something that normally works against me. I want things to function well. I really love high quality tools for any of the skills that I practice. I will wait to afford the best tool. Or afford the best tools for a job that I can.

5. Love is not a feeling it is an act of your will

This is the real base for our long marriage.

There are days or moments when choice is forced to be made. Often this occurs with misunderstandings or with disagreements. Often it can be solved by hearing each other out without being defensive. Often it has been my own selfish or tender soul. Assuming that the intent was different than it was. Male / female thinking also plays a big part in helping me see more clearly.

6. I do not take as good of preventative care of my self as I ought too. Mainly my body. However I did learn today at my women's well visit that I have lost 15 pounds since last year. I was startled.

7. I really really can not stand tags in my clothing. They always get cut out. The threads will also get picked out. It is just on of those things.

8. I have heard it said that the number of taste buds on a tong will often have great bearing on how much a person will enjoy flavors. If you  have many many your likely to be very sensitive to flavor. 

I must have few for I LOVE STRONG FLAVORS! It is like I can not get enough. Herbs are a huge part of my cooking and baking for bland will never do with me. I love to have a bite of fresh thyme for example in my salad to me it is just the way life was suppose to be. Full of spice.

9. I love cotton. I would rather iron or have a few wrinkles in my clothing than to be encased in fake fabrics. Silk is abundant life and beads are the eye candy.

10. I am a very deep thinker. Often times I am a seer. That is my spiritual gift. Things I see spiritually often are not spoken. I will see things often before they happen. I will pray and think a lot about why I am shown something. I love to see people the way my spirit sees them. They are to me the name of the vision I see over them. I will often know people much more intimately by what I see over them than by what my eyes might see before me. I really like that, but it is a strange sort of way to live around folks. I think it would of been more normal for me to have lived as a native American many years ago. My brother said that my grandmother was a Cherokee medicine woman. I have often wondered if this is a part of my gift. It makes me a peculiar person I think especially in the Christian setting. Many religious folks tried to convince me that it was evil or that it was demonic to see. I now understand this is a gift from God and it is holy. As with any talent one must gain skill in the practice of it to become an artisan. It has been hard to do so as a born again Christian. Only through my Friendship with God have I come to terms with his sweet sweet provision for me. I understand that this is how HE made me and that is not evil.

To call something Holy evil is a shame and really grieves the Holy Spirit.

We do not have to know Gods mind just His heart for us and the world.

There are so many peoples with so many cultures and so many many ways of worship.

There is only one God in three Father Son Holy Spirit.

Many people in varied cultures worship the true God.

I am never going to finish this if I do not just post. I began this last night.
The day has been so full.

So I tag these dear hearts in hopes they might have a chance to open their hearts to us.

Annette

Denise
Lynn
Tiffany
Amrita


If any of you might have the oppertunity to do so as well feel free to join in.

Good morning

on the fly busy busy busy
just wanted to give you all a big hug.

if a fat guy grabs you and puts you in a bag don't panic I told Santa I wanted my good friends for Christmas.

Word Filled Wednesday

Prepairing for High Tea

 For many years a core group of women have met.

We have a special bond with one another.

This year my home will be hosting our tea.

We have met in tea houses but this year...a home.

He has set a table before me...in this case with my friends.

 

I like to set the formal table and see to it that it will present the way I like.

The tea is not until next Sunday.

I want to have it just right.

Each friend will bring their part of the tea.

High Tea is normally held at 2 p.m.

We have finalized a schedule that will work for everyone.

These days with all of our busy family lives this is a  real accomplishment.

This is not the final table.

Thought it would be fun to let you have a peak.

Tackle it Tuesday

Approaching Christmas with a Hush not a rush

This Morning was spent writing out the last of the 50+ Christmas cards. This is something that I love to do. It is a part of stopping the world and saying hello to folks. It is a chance to thank those professionals that have added blessings to our year.
Many calls made for appointments and such with amazing results. I was able to get into a specialist on 12-28! unheard of! God is good.
With all the calls and cards complete I was off to an impromptu concert at the school. I found out about this at the last minute of course. It is so good to be real and not try to catch the ideal of the so called perfect holiday time. In doing so I was slow and able to relax my way into a wonderful band concert.
Stopping by Dash's class room to check on him the teacher told me that the district is forcing 3rd graders to do multiplication this year for tne new standards will be pushing the kids harder. That is a full years advancement. Needless to explain that Dash came home in a panic at his homework.
His teacher asked if I could stay after to lend a hand making ornaments. So after the concert with the card finished and sitting out in the car to be mailed I was hushed to give my afternoon to the children. We used painted puzzle pieces to make little Christmas ornament with the photo in center like a little wreath. It was nice to be around all those smiling little children. The day had a hard start of a migraine to it. Being with the children really warmed my heart back into a bit of excitement over the holiday.

I have an extra child in tow and so they are all playing now.

The house is actually hushed for the play is quiet.
There will be no rush today.
This is the time to hush my soul into the lush abundant life of loving and being loved.

 

 Dash's class we made the gifts for the parents of these kids today.

 

 Dove plays the french horn.

 

 This is the 5th grade class after the performance.

The sixth graders were up next.

These kids sounded so much better:)

 

 The french horn girls.

Playing the french horn comes with a heavy case to bear.

 

 Presents are almost all wrapped and the cards are finished.

A few more things for neighbors and I am done.

Just gotta clean a messy kitchen and hang clean clothes.

Play for a while then they all do a bit of homework.

Adoption Day number 7 for Dash

 After Dinner we all gathered to give Dash his gift from Russia.

When we adopted him I tried my best to gather as many gifts for his 18 years as I could.

It was made more difficult to do so for Dash due to our location.

We were only 500 miles or so above the Northern Afghanistan boarder three weeks after the special forces went in. We accually met one of those men at our 25th wedding retreat up in the mountains some years later.

It is a small world really.

 

Dash got to come home to us just the December after the 9-11-2002 attacks on the U.S.

We were unable to get him home until he was 10 months old.

It was four months of not knowing if we would ever get him out.

We had a wonderful Christmas child that year.

THIS IS MY SON.

Look at the grin he lost a tooth today

 

 He was so happy with his child doll in Russian attire.

 

 If any one can translate?

 

The cake was a snaggle because I made Chocolate frosting with making the teddy bear in mind, because of size I grabbed his second choice the Santa. I had the frosting made.

So Santa was just covered in chocolate frosting and sprinkles.

I felt bad about it but Dash did not mind, at least he said he didn't

After Company of the day left we all wnet to Panda express for chinese food.

Asia was the thiem

:)

Saturday repose.

 

 Yesterday I sewed all day.

It was so nice.

Above are the dinner napkins for Christmas Dinner

 

 I am doing a tea for us 5 core friends.

We have met together for 10? years at least four to five times a year.

This year it will be a Christmas tea at my house.

They turned out little purses.

Lace edged when opened.

I'll do a tutorial over at "A Place To Create"

Today we had the funeral for a Dear Man

Mr Joe Labriola

My SILove did a wonderful job speaking of her father and telling us about the dreams of so many a man who he prayed a quick prayer with as they died in his arms there on the beach of Normandy 

A Medic on the island of Okinawan in the invasion.

An American Hero.

A husband of one, whose wife passed this time of year four years ago.

Father of two daughter and two grand daughters.

He will be missed.

We all went out to lunch on his behalf and saluted the man.

Please remember the family in you prayers.

The sisters have just become the elders.

I came home and slept and hour and then we had a play date for an over night of a new child into our home. They go to school together she is also an adopted child. I think because we are adoptive parents it is often just assumed we are safe because we have gone through all the background checks and home studies..

I am known at the school and so I think that ease is afforded but it still astounds me.

I opened the door and the child was just standing there the mother just dropped her at the curb and drove off.

They have all played well together and are readying for bed.

 

 I harvested 4 pickling cucumbers and so my first time making pickles!

It was pretty easy.

It was a five minute bath and all three jars sealed ya!

They are sliced dills.

Almost burned the Santa cake.

Dash wanted a Santa for adoption day tomorrow.

 

 Hard crack candy was something of my youth that I held in fond remembrance. I wanted to repeat that old time feeling. I would make this when I came home from school. I am stunned that my mom let me do this it is pretty dangerous. I have cooked and baked and made candy from as early as 5th grade. That's around 10 or so. Almost always unattended. It must of been when I was able to see my mom was during the dinner breaks.

 

Watermelon has yet to be cut

 

 The grape and the raspberry set these will be gifts for neighbors.

I had a dud with some lemon oil was nasty!

So I still have another batch to make to finished the job.

However my bones are done for the day.

 

This has been a full day.

Dash's Adoption Day is tomorrow 7 years home to us.

We came home from Russia on the 13 th of December with our little Christmas Boy.

I need to decorate this in the morning the Lady is tired :)

 Some comment answers if I can recall them
No dash has blue eyes unlike Dove little miss Golden eyes.
I cant think or remember another question that was out there.
I do hope to do a better job keeping up with this blog and the others.
We have a new photo system and I dislike the hassle of it and it is time consuming as well.

A hoilday funeral tomorrow

Please pray for my Sister in Law and her sister.

Their father was found by her sister.

They had taken him to the ER the night before and they released him saying his complain was of no concern.

The girls took him back to his facility to his apartment.

When she went to him first thing in the morning he was found dead on the floor.

Needless to say these two sister have a hard painful time.

Their mother past away only a year or two ago at Christmas.

My sister in law has her birthday on December 25 th, Her sister on December 31.

Please please remember them.

I went and got a little suit for my son and a nice outfit for Dove.

Just home now.

I have not spoken much of this but my right knee is not responding as of yet to treatment.

Two pain pills in me now so relief is coming.

Wal-mart walk is long.

A hoodie jacket for Dash given to him just before the door failed as he zipped it and we had to walk all the way back to the boys department to exchange it.

Before the Wal-mart Costco was paid a visit for the Christmas ham.

I went there to get some white roses.

It has always been my tradition to give a single white rose at funerals.

I will tie ribbons on them for the two Ladies and the two nieces.

Hello to all of you sweet dear hearts that left comments.

I worked all day on a sewing project.

I'll show you soon.

Napkin sets for the Christmas meal and a set for the Formal Tea I am giving my little core group of five sisters in Christ. We meet for each others birthdays throughout the year.

Thankful Thursday * the gift of protection

Perfect topic today

 

Join us here

Thank you Laurie for hosting

Miss Golden Eyes my little Dove came home happy.

She played with the camera as you can see.

Too Cute!

She had a good day, not thrilled that she had to talk with the principle but satisfied so far with the outcome.

The bully absent of course the easiest way to try get away with it.

Read more about it here

After a nice relaxing hour I started in on the Living Room

Almost finished the tree, my knee is hindering me from being on the ladder.

I will try to get some help with the top part of the tree from Steve later.

Several ornaments the kids put on could use a little fixing but that is done little by little to protect their creative heart.

If I tinker with what they did it would not be a good example of acceptance.

Yesterday the bows and ribbons on the packages were completed.

Today I was able to get the lights on the lower part of the tree.

 

 This year I was able to find new clothing the children needed at a greatly reduced cost.

Many of the packages are just that.

I just put one item in each box to make more packages to open.

We also got new bedding for them.

Few toys at all just one major gift for them to share.

TBA later

 

 The cresch set up on the center now.

Using batting I had the snow capped mantle of sorts was created to give a more holiday feel.

It was such a day of joy for me to have stood for my children at the school.

To see all the bounty of Christmas we have been able to come up with for them blesses my soul.

The gifts under the tree were things that they needed.

It is my hope that by receiving them in this way that gratitude will be instilled within their hearts.

Many Children just take for granted having nice clothing or linens.

They will not be left disappointed, the big gift they will share will bring the family together.

Well now that the living room is so beautiful, the kitchen and hall is a mess!

like a big balloon getting squeezed

Ha!

Bully my kid I DON"T THINK SO

Yesterday

A child under the umbrella of the group headed up by Doves nemesis approached Dove as if to loving hug her. Dove was startled receiving the embrace then felt (said child) "A".  rub her hand on her back.

As "A".did this the other two girls stood by and when the action had taken place laughed at Dove amongst them selves.

Dove then asked a child standing by if  "A"  had whiped something on her.

The child then exclaimed that she had wiped snot all over the back of Dove's shirt.

This reported to me

I will be keeping written records of any future action and supply a copy to the school as well.

I spent two hours with the principle this morning 45 minutes of it with Dove in there we were empowering her to feel safe to stand up for herself and to get help.

It was awesome.

I gave written notice on the event and a copy of the AZ state laws on bullying.

I think we shall have some action and I think that my girl will make a change in the way she responds.

She will become a STRONG woman, just like her Mother.

I discussed with great character and poise my position and the next steps I will be taking in the event this is not addressed.

Gentle as a Dove but strong within the Lion

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho and the wall come a tumbling down

I found this site Stop Bullying NOW
very helpful as I was struggling with the anger of the Momma bear in the wee hours of the night. I circled those walls until I was able to just blow that horn and watch God knock em down!

A touching morning

I was talking to Dash earlier in the morning. He shared that his friend had so many presents that it took his parents four hours to tell him all of the different sizes...I told him that the boy is very fortunate.
We were later sitting at the table eating breakfast...speaking of water I told him how fortunate we are that many places on the earth they do not have water that comes out of the tap clean. That it is the kids job in the morning to go and fetch the water often walking great distance. I told him that once daddy and I shared our money to help drill a well for a community.
He asked me if he was born in Moscow. I told him no, Penza Russia. He asked me for a jar.
He got paper and tape.
" Mom I want to fill this jar and send it to the orphanage that I came from. We have enough stuff."
You just know we made that jar. I sent him into my room to get my change dish. He asked if he could have a dollar of my change. I gave him the dollar and he was putting it in the jar. I was putting all of the rest of it in the jar..."Oh mom it's alright that is enough you do not have to give all of it." I told him I wanted to. I told him I will contact the folks that helped us adopt him to find a way to get the money to the orphanage. I told him I would take him to the neighbors to ask if they might like to contribute.

 Later...

While signing Doves homework binder I read the paper she wrote on MLK I have a Dream.

This was the topic of her paper...I have a dream, it is a three part dream. 1. to build places for old folks to live where it will be nice 2. To talk to Obama and tell him to stop making our taxes bigger cause it is hurting people, I know cause it is hurting me. 3. to make it where no kids ever have to be hungry.
That is what she wrote...

The Gift to be Simple

Today I practiced some new things in my morning schedule, that daily thing we do from when we open our eyes.

Sometimes I just forget who I am.

Do you ever feel that way?

I was refreshed today as this wonderfully awkward process is chugging along.

I have learned so many liberating things that have continued to build my character and stance in Becoming.

I think some misunderstanding and even perhaps a bit of religious judgments made. Well I am right where I am supposed to be. Healing those very deep lies that few practice the courage to heal. Makes it sound so dark and gloomy but ya all tell me that you don't hide some wounds that have an impact on who your heart tells you you really are.

The garden is all tucked away for the night.

A wonderful supper of Spanish rice with home grown zucchini diced fine and left a bit crunchy added in.

Some basil also. That is cut back for the frost bit it hard. I had to hang all of the cloth on line to dry.

We lost the rain water for a pipe came apart in the system, I think it was just and oversight on Steve's part.

I have had an absolutely lovely day.

That tending me first in the morning really set the stage for a progressive morning of parenting.

We had extra time to even do a bit of the Esteem Booster questions on security.

The kids opened up and shared their minds a bit.

LOVED IT!

So many accomplishments around here inside and out.

The master bedroom with all clean linens.

Pictures hung more to my liking and candles at the tub.

You know that called for a hot bath this evening.

ME>>>taking time to just take a slow bath?

Mercy! this could really catch on

:)

Today as I was ...I danced

I am going to do my best to explain the things I am learning and just hope that folk don't misunderstand and think I am far from God.

Oh No we are just walking this thing out together.

Gods ways are higher than ours.

I have lived with some pretty non scriptural religious ideas of what I should be like or able to do.

Lord knows I did my very best to follow those ideas to the letter, trying to be a good believer.

Those Pharisee things that just don't much lift a finger to help really.

They become more of a thumb pressing down to keep you in check all the while that heart of yours is saying I'm a faking it tell I make it...I must be doing something wrong is the lie.

NO maybe ya just need some practical help to understand what stops your ability to do so.

It is my hope that the honesty and transparency will remove stigmas and assumptions from the "church" community as to what it might look like to become.

It is not by pure belief

WE HAVE TO WORK IT OUT FOLKS

Now if your working it out and ya think that folks...

other believers, might think your faith weak or less than do not let that stop you.

There are so many who lift that finger and add the hand reaching out to lift ya up.

You who do not know Christ

know this His love is not like those rulers who set lots of rules on folks and then sit back and condemn them when they do not think or pray or believe themselves out of their chains.

Loving Christians truly do add a heart not only full of prayer but also practical solutions that just perhaps nobody ever bothered to tell ya.

You speak up ask and if there is any shame placed on ya for doing so Dear Hearts just you shake it off.

His peace is within the storm.

This life is a storm that only He can calm the waters of.

When your strength gains up and the next gale blows know you did not cause it, there is a battle going on.

It has been against you from your first breadth, satan-evil-darkness- the war began a long time before the beginning of time as we know it.

God wins, that's the good news the hard news is that you been on one side or the other.

Those folks who raised you were one one side or the other.

Even when on Gods side the trickster can so easily circumvent lives by simply twisting truth, lying so folk don't even know whats right from wrong.

So many casualties of childhood walking around in grown bodies just really trying to make folks proud.

Can't even find a safe place to risk being humble.

Left not even knowing who they were intended to be.

Feeling like you just really never belonged anywhere.

Stumbling at every misson you set your heart too because your wounds sabatage your efforts.

Leaving you feeling incompitent at life.

That is the intent, the mortal wound.

Hope this is always a safe place to be...

Hope that you can be yourself, unashamed, unabashed, true heart even if wrong willing to turn round right and come on down to where ya ought to be.

I am becoming free from battle scares of my childhood.

That does not make me a victim, a weak unbelieving Christian but a warrior for Christ.

tis' a gift to be simple tis' a gift to be free

tis' a gift to climb down where we ought to be

and when we find ourselves in the place just right

twill be in the valley of love and delight

ya know...?

Good Morning

good morning I have posted over at A Life Restored this morning and am off to tend the garden and the chickens Hope you all have a good day

Sweet Sunday

Hello Dear ones

Did you have a good weekend?

Today was both a wonderful day and a tough day.

Upon awaking I spend several hours on the floor in the bathroom.

This happens sometimes when allergies hit hard.

My belly swelled up so that I looked pregnant.

Too much wheat and the latex thing weekend me too.

After sleeping a while on the floor a shower and a tearful prayer refreshed me.

I had to get up

for there was a birthday party Dash was invited too and I was going to take Dove with me and pay for her entry. Inch by inch with coaching from Steve too I made it.

This was a big deal to everyone and I was iffy if I could do it.

I listened for the coach in my ear to press on and on.

The children were so happy to go for it was at a very wonderful place called Amazing Jakes.

Oh they have everything! Rides an open extensive buffet, games go carts, bumper cars.

Only Dash tried rock wall, there is also black light paint ball, goofy gulf, carousel and the list could just go on and on.

It is a very expensive place to go. With Dash being a paid for guest it was right and doable to take Dove.

It was $9.99 for just the open buffet and $18. for buffet and all the rides you can for three hours it also included $5. on the card for the token games..

They had a ball. Dove got to drive little brother in the go carts.  It was wonderful, Dove did a pass in a driver maneuver passed a teenager! I wish you all could of seen it.

I was able to relax and let the children do the buddy system.

This is a bit new for me so I am relaxing and letting them have space.

A sweet lady did a post about a fearful mothers effect on her blog and the issue with the kids at the school pointed out that I must pull back more to let them develop more of a sense of safety and self.

I am doing it. That was the tearful prayer.

I see all these parents who do not even check up on them and so a balance,

they need to have a touch stone. I will never tend to ignore them but I was not panicked the whole time either.

We made it home at 4:30 I went straight in and got some soft clothing on and went to bed and slept up until 7p.m.

I am a wrung sponge made able to get through the day with pleasure in motherhood.

It was a wonderful day.

That latex thing really set me up.

Man I need to chill for a few day.

My deep thoughts lately have been a real treasure in the progress of becoming.

They are very humbling and tender.

So if I seem distant in my blog it is that tenderness guarded until my feet are firm in what I am learning.

Above all standing firm in the faith, in His Love.

Steve was able to get a quiet four hours of work done for the job that cam in last week.

He actually had the house alone.

I would appreciate any kindness of prayer for I am not feeling too well yet and it really was a lot to ask of my body. I did not give up though.